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Bride’s Nasty Message Goes Public, She Doesn’t Understand Why She’s The Bad Guy
We’ve all probably heard about how sticks and stones may break bones, but words could never hurt people. But that’s not entirely true, is it? Some words can be hurtful, especially when said about the people we love.
For this redditor, one mean word is all it took to end a long-standing friendship. It was something that her friend—a bride-to-be—said about her daughter, which became a turning point in the relationship and left the bride without not only a friend but a flower girl, too.
RELATED:
Just like sticks and stones, some words may hurt us
Image credits: A. C. / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
This woman didn’t hesitate to end a long-standing friendship over mean words
Image credits: Justin Clark / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: A. C. / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Complex_Anteater_607
It’s important to treat friends with the respect they deserve
There’s no denying that friendships are one of the cornerstones of a happy life. In addition to providing support, companionship, and a sense of belonging, friendships also keep us healthier, and needless to say, all of the above make life significantly better. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), people with friends tend to be more satisfied with their lives and less likely to experience depression, as well as heart problems and chronic diseases.
Image credits: Taylor Smith / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
However, in order to feel the backing of true friendship, it’s crucial to choose friends wisely and to be able to end certain relationships if they are not based on mutual respect and understanding. The latter is what the redditor felt like she had to do after a longtime friend called her six-year-old daughter a cow – clearly not something a true friend should do.
Talking about personality traits we look for in a friend, psychotherapist and author Kaytee Gillis, LCSW-BACS, seconded the idea that respect plays a significant role when it comes to friendships. In a piece for Psychology Today, she noted that while specific traits we look for might differ from person to person, some qualities people seek in a friend are rather universal, and one of them is a minimum level of kindness and understanding. While that might sound like a low bar, not everyone can be equally kind, which is important to take into consideration.
“Some people are naturally programmed to respond in a compassionate way, while for others, this approach is not always easy. We all exist on different areas of the empathy spectrum, but look for, at least, a minimum understanding of basic kindness and understanding. Treating others with respect should be the bare minimum,” Gillis wrote.
Unfortunately, the OP’s friend didn’t exactly treat her with kindness and respect. After the redditor realized her mistake of not having fitted the flower girl’s dress earlier, she got in touch with the bride with options on how she could fix the situation. But instead of being given an answer, she had to listen to the friend bully her six-year-old child. As a parent should, the woman was not willing to listen to someone bad-mouthing her kid, nor was she looking forward to attending the wedding anymore. Fellow Reddit users sided with the mom, assuring in the comments that she wasn’t a jerk for skipping the wedding, nor for letting other friends know the exact reason why.
Fellow netizens seemingly sided with the mother who replied to some of their comments and questions
Most people believed that the bride-to-be had no reason to talk about the woman’s child that way
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What do you think ?
ToGo 8 months ago
I always think that if someone can say something cruel under pressure or while upset, then that thing was already in their repertoire. It's either been said behind your back or at the very least they've thought it about you. What kind of person would even think such a comment as "your whale daughter" about a 6 year old child, let alone say it? My guess is the "friend" has always been vile and the kid comment was the nail in the coffin.
Deborah B 8 months ago
Why would anyone get a dress for a 5 year old, and assume it would still fit a year later? Kids grow. Mum should have thought of it, but the bride should also have thought about it when she rescheduled the wedding. Calling her a whale was completely uncalled for. Any normal person would have fired back "Oh no, I forgot about her dress! Kids grow so fast. Let's go with option 1, good luck, and I love you - send me a pic, I bet she'll look adorable! Byeee"
TheElementalGod️️ (He/him) 7 months ago
Alcohol DOES change who you are, albeit temporarily. It messes up your brain chemistry, getting rid of inhibitions. and let's be clear; we all WANT to say nasty things all the time. we all WANT to do dumb sh!t. But we don't because we have inhibitions. We are not made by what we do, but by what we want to but don't.
Load More Replies...
Alexandra 8 months ago
What people don't understand is that you can't unsay or unwrite things: once the cat is out of the bag, it's very hard to put the cat back in.
Romy Rösli 8 months ago
I agree. But please, don’t put cats or any other animals in a bag😆
Load More Replies...
Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 8 months ago
People asked OP the facts, and she told them. Its wild that the former friend called her up not even to apologize and make amends, but to ask OP to explain her behaviour for her. The former friend sounds like a d**k.
Caro 8 months ago
Who the hell thinks that a child that young stays the same size for a whole year? Bridezilla, not OP, should have checked whether the dress still fits after delaying the wedding for almost a year.
Broad Panda 8 months ago
Agreed. Bride's job to make sure the child had a new dress if she still wanted her in the wedding.
Load More Replies...
KatSaidWhat 8 months ago
Many a true word said in jest/anger. Body shaming a child is really lower than shark s**t at the bottom of the ocean.
BrownEyedPanda 8 months ago
Your analogy warms the cockles of my heart. 💖
Load More Replies...
Enlee Jones 8 months ago
I don't care how much stress you're under, calling a 6-year-old a "whale" is inexcusable.
Angela C 8 months ago
Does bride to be know absolutely nothing about kids? I'm not a parent and I don't know much about kids but one thing I do know is kids grow fast. Yeah mom should have checked the dress sooner but calling a child a whale for doing what literally every child that age does is so far over the line, the line is a dot to her. She deserves to be hated by all her friends
ElfVibratorGlitter 8 months ago
It initially seemed to me the mom should get over it, but after a few seconds I realized no. She insulted her kid. Nope.
Old but wiser 8 months ago
She was out of line and not a good friend. Move on and forget about it and your daughter doesn't need to know.
Michelle C 8 months ago
That right there would've been fighting words for me! I always say don't speak ill off people that cannot defend themselves and especially not children. You can say whatever you want about me but once you say something about my child when they didn't do anything to you it's gonna be on sight. The biggest stress she would've had is the act of removing my foot from her a$$.
Enlee Jones 8 months ago
Okay, planning a wedding is stressful, I understand that, but taking it out on a 6-year-old and calling her a "whale" is inexcusable.
Sue Ellen Bowen 8 months ago
WTH did the bride expect when the wedding was delayed by a year? Obviously kids are going to grow.
J. Norton 8 months ago
No, no, no! "Being stressed" is simply no excuse for such cruelty and lack of civility. I am experiencing something horrific (family member under hospice care) and I have never used that as an excuse to behave horribly, never. This woman is just a vile human being, full stop.
Kate Johnson 8 months ago
Sorry, that was disgusting. If you don't want people to think you're a horrible b***h, don't call little girls "whales" The mouth revealed what was in her heart.
brandyy17 8 months ago
there is so many things wrong with the bride. not only can she not answer a simple question but she disrespects a child to the mom and expects to get her way. she also only apologized after karma bit her in the butt. another point is that the OP just explained y she didnt go she never told their friends to stop being friends with the bride. even if she did the friends have their own free will they can choose whether they stay a friend or not regardless of wat the OP says. i had to completely replan my wedding cuz i had a 2020 during covid wedding. the venue gave us ridiculous rules and we could only have 50 guests. we had already sent out save the dates to all 125 guests. so everyone was aware of the wedding and wen itll b. we didnt want to exclude anyone. we searched high and low to find loop holes in the covid regulations and it was super stressful bc all vendors were ready and paid for and we had to get our money back from original venue who tried pulling some sneaky stuff to not give it to us. so super stressful and i was going out of my mind but not once did i disrespect ppl wen they called or texted while i was busy. if they had a quick question id answer it, if they wanted to talk about a few things id politely ask if i can call them later so the chat wont b rushed and if they called to see how i was doing id let them kno id call them later and tell them all about my day and whats up. i never snapped or disrespected anyone. stress is definitely not an excuse especially if the wedding wasnt being completely reworked like mine was. while the vendors were ready and paid for we did need to tweek stuff to follow regulations or preferences of the company. they were very considerate and worked with us without issue still stressful tho. bottom line is stress isnt an excuse and an apology after karma bites u in the butt isnt a real apology. OP was completely in the right. the OP's mistakes of not checking if the dress fit doesnt even matter bc she did try to fix it by asking the bride how to do so. the bride doesnt deserve to have friends if stress makes her turn into a disgusting human being. i get the stress can b tough but dont take it out on others especially children whether they hear it or not.
marianne eliza 8 months ago
If you're engaged to someone who cares more about the wedding than the marriage, run. Run far, run fast.
Charlie Haase 7 months ago
OP doesn't understand the stress she's under? Are we talking about the same OP, with a six year old kid?
Earonn - 7 months ago
Yes, we can say utter s**t when we're stressed - though personally, it's a bit like being drunk: it tells a lot about you WHAT kind of s**t you say. I can see myself cussing the mother out - "don't make you laziness my problem" - but never a child's weight, even if it wasn't related to simply growing. But then, if you do that, you apologise. As soon as you realise. To everyone who might have seen/heard it. You don't wait until it affects you and THEN whine about the consequences.
Angela Corvaia 7 months ago
I want to know how long the marriage lasted....lots of drama around weddings and even more with divorce.
ToGo 8 months ago
I always think that if someone can say something cruel under pressure or while upset, then that thing was already in their repertoire. It's either been said behind your back or at the very least they've thought it about you. What kind of person would even think such a comment as "your whale daughter" about a 6 year old child, let alone say it? My guess is the "friend" has always been vile and the kid comment was the nail in the coffin.
Deborah B 8 months ago
Why would anyone get a dress for a 5 year old, and assume it would still fit a year later? Kids grow. Mum should have thought of it, but the bride should also have thought about it when she rescheduled the wedding. Calling her a whale was completely uncalled for. Any normal person would have fired back "Oh no, I forgot about her dress! Kids grow so fast. Let's go with option 1, good luck, and I love you - send me a pic, I bet she'll look adorable! Byeee"
TheElementalGod️️ (He/him) 7 months ago
Alcohol DOES change who you are, albeit temporarily. It messes up your brain chemistry, getting rid of inhibitions. and let's be clear; we all WANT to say nasty things all the time. we all WANT to do dumb sh!t. But we don't because we have inhibitions. We are not made by what we do, but by what we want to but don't.
Load More Replies... Alexandra 8 months ago
What people don't understand is that you can't unsay or unwrite things: once the cat is out of the bag, it's very hard to put the cat back in.
Romy Rösli 8 months ago
I agree. But please, don’t put cats or any other animals in a bag😆
Load More Replies... Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 8 months ago
People asked OP the facts, and she told them. Its wild that the former friend called her up not even to apologize and make amends, but to ask OP to explain her behaviour for her. The former friend sounds like a d**k.
Caro 8 months ago
Who the hell thinks that a child that young stays the same size for a whole year? Bridezilla, not OP, should have checked whether the dress still fits after delaying the wedding for almost a year.
Broad Panda 8 months ago
Agreed. Bride's job to make sure the child had a new dress if she still wanted her in the wedding.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 8 months ago
Many a true word said in jest/anger. Body shaming a child is really lower than shark s**t at the bottom of the ocean.
BrownEyedPanda 8 months ago
Your analogy warms the cockles of my heart. 💖
Load More Replies... Enlee Jones 8 months ago
I don't care how much stress you're under, calling a 6-year-old a "whale" is inexcusable.
Angela C 8 months ago
Does bride to be know absolutely nothing about kids? I'm not a parent and I don't know much about kids but one thing I do know is kids grow fast. Yeah mom should have checked the dress sooner but calling a child a whale for doing what literally every child that age does is so far over the line, the line is a dot to her. She deserves to be hated by all her friends
ElfVibratorGlitter 8 months ago
It initially seemed to me the mom should get over it, but after a few seconds I realized no. She insulted her kid. Nope.
Old but wiser 8 months ago
She was out of line and not a good friend. Move on and forget about it and your daughter doesn't need to know.
Michelle C 8 months ago
That right there would've been fighting words for me! I always say don't speak ill off people that cannot defend themselves and especially not children. You can say whatever you want about me but once you say something about my child when they didn't do anything to you it's gonna be on sight. The biggest stress she would've had is the act of removing my foot from her a$$.
Enlee Jones 8 months ago
Okay, planning a wedding is stressful, I understand that, but taking it out on a 6-year-old and calling her a "whale" is inexcusable.
Sue Ellen Bowen 8 months ago
WTH did the bride expect when the wedding was delayed by a year? Obviously kids are going to grow.
J. Norton 8 months ago
No, no, no! "Being stressed" is simply no excuse for such cruelty and lack of civility. I am experiencing something horrific (family member under hospice care) and I have never used that as an excuse to behave horribly, never. This woman is just a vile human being, full stop.
Kate Johnson 8 months ago
Sorry, that was disgusting. If you don't want people to think you're a horrible b***h, don't call little girls "whales" The mouth revealed what was in her heart.
brandyy17 8 months ago
there is so many things wrong with the bride. not only can she not answer a simple question but she disrespects a child to the mom and expects to get her way. she also only apologized after karma bit her in the butt. another point is that the OP just explained y she didnt go she never told their friends to stop being friends with the bride. even if she did the friends have their own free will they can choose whether they stay a friend or not regardless of wat the OP says. i had to completely replan my wedding cuz i had a 2020 during covid wedding. the venue gave us ridiculous rules and we could only have 50 guests. we had already sent out save the dates to all 125 guests. so everyone was aware of the wedding and wen itll b. we didnt want to exclude anyone. we searched high and low to find loop holes in the covid regulations and it was super stressful bc all vendors were ready and paid for and we had to get our money back from original venue who tried pulling some sneaky stuff to not give it to us. so super stressful and i was going out of my mind but not once did i disrespect ppl wen they called or texted while i was busy. if they had a quick question id answer it, if they wanted to talk about a few things id politely ask if i can call them later so the chat wont b rushed and if they called to see how i was doing id let them kno id call them later and tell them all about my day and whats up. i never snapped or disrespected anyone. stress is definitely not an excuse especially if the wedding wasnt being completely reworked like mine was. while the vendors were ready and paid for we did need to tweek stuff to follow regulations or preferences of the company. they were very considerate and worked with us without issue still stressful tho. bottom line is stress isnt an excuse and an apology after karma bites u in the butt isnt a real apology. OP was completely in the right. the OP's mistakes of not checking if the dress fit doesnt even matter bc she did try to fix it by asking the bride how to do so. the bride doesnt deserve to have friends if stress makes her turn into a disgusting human being. i get the stress can b tough but dont take it out on others especially children whether they hear it or not.
marianne eliza 8 months ago
If you're engaged to someone who cares more about the wedding than the marriage, run. Run far, run fast.
Charlie Haase 7 months ago
OP doesn't understand the stress she's under? Are we talking about the same OP, with a six year old kid?
Earonn - 7 months ago
Yes, we can say utter s**t when we're stressed - though personally, it's a bit like being drunk: it tells a lot about you WHAT kind of s**t you say. I can see myself cussing the mother out - "don't make you laziness my problem" - but never a child's weight, even if it wasn't related to simply growing. But then, if you do that, you apologise. As soon as you realise. To everyone who might have seen/heard it. You don't wait until it affects you and THEN whine about the consequences.
Angela Corvaia 7 months ago
I want to know how long the marriage lasted....lots of drama around weddings and even more with divorce.
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