Hilarious Guide To Dog Breeds That Will Help You Choose Your Next Dog

I always feel sorry for huskies who are adopted by lazy people. They should get a lazy dog or a goldfish.

Labs are great! They are smart, and loyal,....if you can keep them at home. They're Big-Time roamers. Unfortunately, they don't do all that well in the house. My black Lab, 'Captain Black' had a lethal tail, which was always sweeping back and forth. Unfortunately, he could clear a coffee table in a matter of just a few seconds. The Captain was the main reason why I happily switched from red wine to white wine. Oh, and the Captain sure could fart up a storm too. :D

2 Dobermans used to bark furiously at me every morning as I walked to school bus. One morning I spoke to them. Then on, our routine was they would wait for me eagerly every morning, and I would stop and talk to them. They were happy to see me.

Nonono german Shepards are just floofy boofs, and squishy boopers

The comment with the drawing is so wrong that it's unbelievable -- they are super intelligent and if they do not listen to you, it's because they consider themselve higher than you in their hierarchy ! HaHAHA -They wil only bark is they are neglected and totally bored because you are not clever enough to entertain them, otherwise they just bark to protect you. They are so full of love to everyonde who gives them love. In my lifetime up to now I had six of them.

I had a dog who was half shepherd, she never barked, except twice, once when my mom let her out and forgot to let her back in and she waited outside the door for half an hour before going Woo (not woof, it wasn’t even a full woof) and the other time was the same thing but when I forgot!

I have had two in my lifetime, both so loyal and as a woman you feel safe walking them alone. When I have time for a dog I will without doubt get another one of this breed. Simply the best.

sooo true that loves only one person and still won't listen to them :D although if I have a treat for him, then he is an amazing listener :D

Mine passed away 2 years ago (I still mourn her lose). - Extremely loyal - Well behaved (if trained correctly) - Admirable house guardians... they take their "job" seriously. Fedra used to patrol the house and garden every night before sleep. - Kid friendly - Active, they need regular excercise. - Absolutely hates people wearing baseball caps.

Asouse

My GSD was vocal, but had an indoor voice... not barking, but more grumbling... unless he was singing with my Labby. He would sing EVERY TIME I left the room, or even just went out of his sight into the hallway. He was a nut. But the sweetest dog in the world.

so true. I have a 7 month old GSD an she only likes me. But she is a good dog and learning NOT to bark at the sky!

GSDs have plenty of quirks, but I'm guessing that whoever did these pics, while really creative, has never had much experience with them nor with their training. There isn't a breed out there that is as trainable, responsive, intuitive or snuggly fur-bombs... I worked hard to keep their respect and their obedience, but they know what's what. More like... treats the trashcan like a heroin addict. Knows it's wrong, redecorates with garbage anyway, then hides in shame when you get home... LOL

Doesn't apply to my shepherd at all: "Lazy couch potato; Creator of eye-watering gas" does.

this is my dog!!!

There is nothing smarter than a well bred German Shepherd. It's the show dog bred GS's that have these problems, not the working bred ones.

I think they wrote this about Izzy specifically

Have a wonderful German Shepherd does not bark for no reason and listens and obeys commands. German Shepherds are the best dogs you can have. Loyal,loving and obedient.

German Sheperds are NOT barkers! I have owned the breed my whole life, they only bark when someone is at the door or when they hear sirens go by. They are a working dog and have a ton of energy and need to feel they have a purpose. They are very easily trained and listen very well. This picture is way off on this breed!

tell me about it... naptime-5a...6010f7.jpg

Perfect!

I had one it's true about the barking

Yeah that sums them up

this describes Bailey to the max..lol

Bahaha this one is so accurate...

Too smart for their own good if you do not understand how to train them

Yes some are neurotic but always loving to their family.Great guard dogs.

For Marianne

boredom barkers, for sure!

Yes & no. My ex had a purebred Shepherd (BC) who quickly learned that I was the only one who loved him, fed him on a regular basis and took him for walks. (Literally, "Walkies" as I jingled his leash, and then there he was). When the cops came to finally arrest my abusive SOB - the dog wouldn't let the cops anywhere near me to make a statement. He had chosen WISELY.

People always say Shepherds only love one person, but in my opinion, that’s simply not true. Jasper loves us both. And what’s more, he loves lots of other people too like my mum, the dog sitter, lots of family and friends. He is truly delighted to see all his four and two legged friends. He ignores people on walks, unless he knows them, which is pretty much what you want because a lot of people are intimidated by big dogs.

Hahaha

I love GSD's - had 2. Mine listened to me but no one else. The only downside: SHED!

What do you think Kelly?

I have a mixed German Sheperd who is precisely like that. I always thought it was because I named her Katya Zamolodchikova... 28312747_2...9b6fd6.jpg

My Sam loves me and my husband and our other 6 dogs, but not so good with other dogs, and shy of our friends until he’s met them a few times. Even then, during parties, guards the back of the house which is unfortunate, since that is where the guest bathroom is.....

Very true. My girl never stops barking.

Mines a saint! Listens to me, kids of all ages and anyone that is kind to her. Never barks unless there is danger but god she can yodel if you ask her too haha

Perfect description of my girl.

Totally not accurate. Try again

no, not true.

Absolutely...I am owned by one!

Just like the owners.

big babies :-). i had a chihuahua once and met a great dane. my chihuahua scared him to death!

My dog loves to play with the rottweiler mix down the street. He looks like a purebreed, like no sign of the dalmation or the mastiff in him. Everytime he sees our dog he jumps up and down like a little puppy.

The Yorkshire terrier will also show its affection by nipping your ankles. They have teeth sharp enough to draw blood at every nip. (Don't tell me that I should break them of that habit, please -- they're not my dogs but a friend's.)

Still miss ours. He was awesome. Never really had to train him and he listened perfectly. Would just walk near you and come when called. Kinda obsessed about bananas and would do anything for 1. (Stole a whole bunch of the table once... Silly dog) He hated water so when it was bath time, I would just get in the shower with him and close the door. He loved getting brushed and groomed though.

Poogs from the other article 🤣🤣

Also Food machine, also needs unlimited times of trecking unless it's hot.

Poodles are smarter than many humans.

The border collie needs to have work to do or it will be neurotic. If you don't have time to spend training your dog, get something less intelligent. Sometimes a border collie will herd your kids to keep them from getting separated from you.

They are stressed because of all they have to carry in their folds of infinity

Tsundere lol that actually sums it up pretty well. Mine sometimes wants to be pet hard and long, but mostly she'll lay down somewhere close and love you from a distance - just don't touch her or she'll leave.

Just adopted an old man doxie with no teeth. Jef is right, he will eat rabbit poops, frozen bread in the yard for the birds, anything off the floor. He doesn't look to see what it is, he just gulps it down.

"BorkBorkBorkBorkBorkBorkBorkBorkBorkBorkBorkBorkBorkBorkBorkBorkBorkBorkBorkBorkBorkBorkBorkBorkBorkBorkBork"

According to these descriptions, most of these breeds should not be house pets.

You're thinking about akitas. Shibas (mostly) like petting. Akitas are like "no way, dude" as they slip just out of your reach. Not fan of strangers.