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Mom Notices Daughter’s Friend Keeps Raiding Their Pantry, Starts Suspecting Something’s Off At Home
What’s in the pantry stays in the pantry… until it mysteriously vanishes. Most of us have dealt with snack ninjas and stealthy snackers who mysteriously make things like Oreos and chips disappear without a trace.
But today’s Original Poster (OP) recently detailed the curious eating habits of her 12-year-old daughter’s new friend, a frequent guest in their home. What started as a few eyebrow-raising pantry raids has now escalated into full-blown snack heists. And while the OP didn’t want to embarrass the friend, the question lingered: is this just normal teen hunger, or something more concerning?
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Sometimes, you have no choice but to notice a person’s eating habits and wonder if there might be a bigger issue at play
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author’s daughter made a friend who began visiting their house frequently
Image credits: southernbitterness
Image credits: Polina Tankilevitch / Pexels (not the actual photo)
However, she noticed that whenever the friend came around she would sneak around to take more snacks and eat a lot
Image credits: southernbitterness
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
This baffled her because she wasn’t sure if there was a bigger issue at play, and didn’t want to embarrass her
Image credits: southernbitterness
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In a second update, the author mentioned that she was going to make her daughter’s friend as comfortable as possible
Image credits: southernbitterness
She also assured the friend that she could have whatever she wanted, just not so much as to make her sick
It all began with a sweet new friendship formed through a local rec sports team. The OP’s daughter became fast friends with another girl, and weekend hangouts quickly became the norm. But during the very first visit, the OP noticed something a little… off. Despite being given snacks and popcorn, the friend kept eyeing the pantry and sneaking more food without asking.
This pattern only intensified. One time, while the girls played outside, the friend helped herself to not one, but three ice cream bars, including a secret trip to the garage fridge. It was a small red flag, but the OP decided to brush it off, chalking it up to the friend being extra hungry or shy about asking.
The snack sneaking became a full-blown habit. By the third, fourth, and fifth visits, the OP realized this wasn’t a one-time fluke. The friend would time her trips to the pantry based on when she wasn’t there, avoiding being seen. Even more shockingly, she unzipped the her personal lunch bag just to score hidden piñata candy.
While the friend looked healthy and came from a well-off family, the behavior was starting to feel invasive. The OP, brought up with strict rules about asking before taking, found herself torn. Should she confront the parents or keep quiet? And more importantly, was this normal?
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
According to Bounty Parents, a tween’s appetite increases during puberty due to the body’s rapid growth and development. As teens go through this phase, their bodies require more energy and nutrients to support physical changes. This heightened hunger is completely normal and can explain why some kids seem to eat excessively during these years.
Families Rising further explain that children or teens who experience unreliable access to food, competition for it, or insufficient amounts can develop an anxious relationship with food, and may exhibit behaviors like overeating, hoarding, or sneaking food. These actions, such as eating quickly or in secret, can be a way for children to cope with anxiety or uncertainty about their food security.
The OP’s concerns are valid, and Good Therapy highlights that empathy is very important. They also advise setting boundaries as it is equally important in helping teens and children regulate their needs, including hunger. They add that children need to learn to listen to their bodies, but this is a skill that takes time to develop.
By establishing routines and limits, parents can help children understand and manage their physical and emotional needs. In the context of the story, setting boundaries around food could guide the girl in understanding appropriate behavior while also teaching her to listen to her body’s cues.
Netizens were compassionate towards the friend, coming up with a common theme that the friend might be sneaking food not out of greed, but out of necessity or shame. They also urged caution in the OP involving the parents, fearing the friend might face punishment. Instead, they suggested having a gentle, one-on-one talk with the child to understand what’s really going on.
What do you think about this situation? Do you believe that the cause of a child sneaking or overindulging in food is hunger, emotional needs, or something else? We would love to hear your thoughts!
Netizens applauded her for being very kind and generous, but also urged her to talk to her daughter’s friend to ensure she was okay
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What do you think ?
KatSaidWhat 8 months ago
My thought too. Get your kid to bring it up in a roundabout way like "my snacks keep disappearing at home".
Load More Replies...
Trillian 8 months ago
People are so concerned about 'being polite' that they will rather ignore an obvious issue. She should ask her own daughter first and then the visiting kid. If she is underfed/has an eating disorder she needs help. And is she is just a food thief she needs consequences. Looking away is cowardly.
Sparkle 8 months ago
ED are tricky because even if someone would come out and say something you will deny it. It took me years to tell anyone what I had done. You get really good at hiding it. Her food story reminds me a bit of mine. I struggle with ED and I can eat in front of my family and friends but sneak snacks later even though I'm a grown adult and am skinny naturally now thank heavens. Her candy and ice cream bars are me to a T.
Load More Replies...
Lee Gilliland 8 months ago
Since the is ignoring the healthy stuff, I'd bet that she isn't allowed certain treats, probably those high in sugar and salt.
Tonyah Mcanelly 8 months ago
When My kids were growing up I had a similar situation. except my sons friend was very poor it was cold . they had no electricity and They were sneaking water from my hose. I spoke with the kids parents and offered to let the kid stay at my house so at least he was warm place to sleep in offended his dad. so I told him i would give him rides to school. When he got to our house I had breakfast made for him and iI packed him a lunch I would tell him if he could sneak over he's more than welcome to use the shower . I get that people fall on hard times I was not trying to take his kid nor was i going to call the police i just wanted to help. I even offered for the entire family stay with us but the parents were very prideful . The kid unfortantly passed away when he became an adult. He was crossing the street and got hit by a car . I think about him often . He really was a good kid
Gwyn 8 months ago
I'm guessing the parents are too strict with junk food at home. Our friends were gluten free (or the mom was, anyway) and every time their daughter would come over to play with my daughter, she would eat all our Hawaiian rolls. I just got in the habit of making sure I had them when she came over.
Robert Beveridge 8 months ago
I have a very small sample size here, but every single person I've ever known who did this (myself included) did so because of food restriction at home. In none of these cases are we talking about a "reasonable" amount of food restriction (assuming such a thing even exists). Which turns this into a situation where talking to the parents has a non-trivial chance of making the problem a whole lot worse. I don't have a solution, but wanted to point out that a lot of folks in the comments were giving advice that may be less than good.
Roberta Surprenant 8 months ago
Going into a zipped up lunch bag is when politeness starts to fade. Confront the girls, "hey, someone went into my bag, not cool!" That is enough to say.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
A 13-year-old knows better than to steal food. Even if her parents restrict snacks/etc. and don't let her have any candies/chips, a 13-year-old *knows* it's wrong to steal food. She's also apparently making zero effort to hide the "evidence" of her thefts, which is odd. Friend should be asking OP's daughter (or OP herself) for permission. If the child was underfed, that's one thing, but OP says the child looks healthy and that her parents are well-off (enough to provide food/snacks, I'm assuming.) OP should NOT just allow the child to keep stealing food and not confront her about it - not only does this teach the child that she can just steal whatever she wants with no repercussions, it could also backfire on OP - let's say the child's parents forbid snacking unless it's healthy stuff. All it would take is for parents to notice chip crumbs on their kid's clothing and then OP will be the villain.
Robert Beveridge 8 months ago
>She's also apparently making zero effort to hide the "evidence" of her thefts, which is odd.< Nope, not odd at all in certain circumstances. The paradox of sneaking food and doing little, if anything, to destroy the evidence is indicative of at least one stripe of disordered eating (IANAP so not going to do any armchair diagnosing, but I've dealt firsthand with family members who have indulged in exactly this behavior multiple times at both this girl's age and significantly older). We're probably never going to get the updates that would be necessary to settle it, but I would 100% make book for all comers that if we DID, we'd find out the girl's parents are restricting food at some sort of extraordinary level (e.g., having padlocks on the fridge and pantry).
Load More Replies... weatherwitch 8 months ago
There are so many possibilities here. But the main is that she becomes an adult the girl can Trust. I wouldn't have dared as a teenager to do this. As adult with a diagnosed metabolism disorder, I can understand that NEED though. She may have an eating disorder, she may be extremely restricted at home over what she's allowed to eat and is craving it, her parents may not be as affluent as they appear so not enough money to feed a growing teenager. I'd not involve her parents remotely at this stage. I'd also ask her own child (if that child had good discretion) to see too. I just hope that young lady gets the support she needs as well as makes a great trusted adult friend 😊
KatSaidWhat 8 months ago
My thought too. Get your kid to bring it up in a roundabout way like "my snacks keep disappearing at home".
Load More Replies... Trillian 8 months ago
People are so concerned about 'being polite' that they will rather ignore an obvious issue. She should ask her own daughter first and then the visiting kid. If she is underfed/has an eating disorder she needs help. And is she is just a food thief she needs consequences. Looking away is cowardly.
Sparkle 8 months ago
ED are tricky because even if someone would come out and say something you will deny it. It took me years to tell anyone what I had done. You get really good at hiding it. Her food story reminds me a bit of mine. I struggle with ED and I can eat in front of my family and friends but sneak snacks later even though I'm a grown adult and am skinny naturally now thank heavens. Her candy and ice cream bars are me to a T.
Load More Replies... Lee Gilliland 8 months ago
Since the is ignoring the healthy stuff, I'd bet that she isn't allowed certain treats, probably those high in sugar and salt.
Tonyah Mcanelly 8 months ago
When My kids were growing up I had a similar situation. except my sons friend was very poor it was cold . they had no electricity and They were sneaking water from my hose. I spoke with the kids parents and offered to let the kid stay at my house so at least he was warm place to sleep in offended his dad. so I told him i would give him rides to school. When he got to our house I had breakfast made for him and iI packed him a lunch I would tell him if he could sneak over he's more than welcome to use the shower . I get that people fall on hard times I was not trying to take his kid nor was i going to call the police i just wanted to help. I even offered for the entire family stay with us but the parents were very prideful . The kid unfortantly passed away when he became an adult. He was crossing the street and got hit by a car . I think about him often . He really was a good kid
Gwyn 8 months ago
I'm guessing the parents are too strict with junk food at home. Our friends were gluten free (or the mom was, anyway) and every time their daughter would come over to play with my daughter, she would eat all our Hawaiian rolls. I just got in the habit of making sure I had them when she came over.
Robert Beveridge 8 months ago
I have a very small sample size here, but every single person I've ever known who did this (myself included) did so because of food restriction at home. In none of these cases are we talking about a "reasonable" amount of food restriction (assuming such a thing even exists). Which turns this into a situation where talking to the parents has a non-trivial chance of making the problem a whole lot worse. I don't have a solution, but wanted to point out that a lot of folks in the comments were giving advice that may be less than good.
Roberta Surprenant 8 months ago
Going into a zipped up lunch bag is when politeness starts to fade. Confront the girls, "hey, someone went into my bag, not cool!" That is enough to say.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
A 13-year-old knows better than to steal food. Even if her parents restrict snacks/etc. and don't let her have any candies/chips, a 13-year-old *knows* it's wrong to steal food. She's also apparently making zero effort to hide the "evidence" of her thefts, which is odd. Friend should be asking OP's daughter (or OP herself) for permission. If the child was underfed, that's one thing, but OP says the child looks healthy and that her parents are well-off (enough to provide food/snacks, I'm assuming.) OP should NOT just allow the child to keep stealing food and not confront her about it - not only does this teach the child that she can just steal whatever she wants with no repercussions, it could also backfire on OP - let's say the child's parents forbid snacking unless it's healthy stuff. All it would take is for parents to notice chip crumbs on their kid's clothing and then OP will be the villain.
Robert Beveridge 8 months ago
>She's also apparently making zero effort to hide the "evidence" of her thefts, which is odd.< Nope, not odd at all in certain circumstances. The paradox of sneaking food and doing little, if anything, to destroy the evidence is indicative of at least one stripe of disordered eating (IANAP so not going to do any armchair diagnosing, but I've dealt firsthand with family members who have indulged in exactly this behavior multiple times at both this girl's age and significantly older). We're probably never going to get the updates that would be necessary to settle it, but I would 100% make book for all comers that if we DID, we'd find out the girl's parents are restricting food at some sort of extraordinary level (e.g., having padlocks on the fridge and pantry).
Load More Replies... weatherwitch 8 months ago
There are so many possibilities here. But the main is that she becomes an adult the girl can Trust. I wouldn't have dared as a teenager to do this. As adult with a diagnosed metabolism disorder, I can understand that NEED though. She may have an eating disorder, she may be extremely restricted at home over what she's allowed to eat and is craving it, her parents may not be as affluent as they appear so not enough money to feed a growing teenager. I'd not involve her parents remotely at this stage. I'd also ask her own child (if that child had good discretion) to see too. I just hope that young lady gets the support she needs as well as makes a great trusted adult friend 😊
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