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Mom Assumes Free Babysitting Will Always Be Available, Faces Harsh Reality When Plans Change
Choosing when to book a vacation can be a difficult choice. You have to consider when you can take time off work, the days when flights are affordable, the seasons when the destination isn’t packed with tourists and when the weather should be just right.
But when one woman informed her daughter that she would be taking a trip later in the year, her daughter was not happy about the possibility of needing to find additional childcare. Below, you’ll find the full story that the grandmother recently posted on Reddit, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.
RELATED:
This woman is happy to babysit her grandchildren
Image credits: MKU018 (not the actual photo)
But she didn’t realize how upset her daughter would be about her deciding to take a vacation while the kids were in school
Image credits: lucigerma (not the actual photo)
Image credits: steviewalker60
The majority of grandparents in the U.S. currently help with childcare or have in the past
When planning a vacation, you’re often thinking about relaxing on a warm beach, reading a great book in a bungalow, or enjoying espresso and pastries while people watching in a bustling city. But for a lot of travelers, the experience of booking their vacation is much less enjoyable than the actual trip itself.
According to data from CivicScience, over half of Americans consider planning and booking a vacation to be somewhat stressful, and over a fifth consider it to be very stressful. Some of the worst aspects of this experience being booking tickets, paying for tickets, packing and preparing and dealing with airport procedures.
So if you manage to find a week to travel that suits your work schedule, won’t break the bank and allows you to visit your destination without encountering hordes of other tourists, it’s wise to book the trip ASAP. After all, everyone deserves a vacation, even if they’re not technically on the payroll anywhere.
The National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies reports that 51% of grandparents in the United States are involved in the childcare choices that their children make. And almost 60% of grandparents regularly take care of their grandchildren or have in the past. Yet only 8% of grandparents are ever compensated for their babysitting.
Now, many grandparents are happy to help out and spend time with their grandchildren, as 54% believe that childcare is a necessity rather than a choice. But it’s still important to ensure that they have proper breaks between watching the kiddos and can get plenty of rest.
Image credits: Ekaterina Shakharova (not the actual photo)
It’s important for moms and dads to ensure that they don’t take advantage of their parents’ help
More Than Grand published a piece discussing how grandparents can avoid babysitting burnout, noting that this is a topic their readers are very interested in. Especially considering the fact that some people don’t become grandparents until they’re in their 70s, they simply can’t have as much energy as a 20-year-old babysitting to earn extra money during college.
More Than Grand suggests that, before agreeing to babysit, grandparents should consider all of the other commitments they have. It’s also wise to consider if they can afford to babysit for free and if they’re really ready to abandon some of their independence.
Before grandparents start babysitting, there should also be a conversation about what exactly the parent and grandparent expect. Nobody ever wants to feel like they’re being taken advantage of, so both parties should be on the same page before the arrangement begins.
More Than Grand also notes that grandparents should consider whether they’re actually just helping out or if they’re enabling their child’s dependence on them. Parents will always want to assist their kids, as they love them more than anything, but there must come a time when they can be fully independent.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this grandmother did anything wrong by booking her vacation when she wanted to? Feel free to weigh in, and then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar family drama right here.
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Later, the grandmother clarified some information about her situation
Readers unanimously agreed that she has every right to go on vacation, and she joined in on the conversation to share more details
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What do you think ?
ToGo 6 months ago
I'm not saying 60 makes you the Crypt Keeper, but it's too far along in life to be expected to care practically full time for children. It's the time when a person should get to do things as and when they please, have some fun and freedom for a change. I'd understand if OP wanted to help her daughter while she figured things out but it's been 3 years. 3 years of being responsible for kids that aren't hers from 6am-5.30pm and unbloodypaid. Daughter needs to realise how lucky she is having a mother like OP and to stop feeling so entitled to someone's else's time.
FreeTheUnicorn 6 months ago
They are 10 and 12, surely they can be on their own in their own house for the two hours until their mother gets home!
Min 6 months ago (edited)
This! How are you ever going to raise a competent and independent adult if you never give them any independence as kids? They're definitely old enough.
Load More Replies...
meeeeeeeeeeee 6 months ago
I don't get why some kids expect their parents to be the caregivers for their kids, as if the parents' life doesn't matter. I have a friend who complains that her mother does nothing to help babysit her children (two-parent household), when the mother quit her job 10 years ago to mind the first one and takes them two days a week while having gout. The actual parent of the children only works 3 days a week, so two of her spare days are spent getting beauty treatments and swanning around. Yaps at least twice a month about her mother as if she's staff, no, she doesn't pay her
arthbach 6 months ago
If the daughter's work is flexible, it might be possible for her to spread her working hours over 5 days, rather than 4. This could mean she could drop the children at school, and then collect them from their aunt and uncle.
K Barnes 6 months ago
I assume that mom chooses to work 4 10s instead of 8 5s because it's easier for her given the childcare situation. If she can skip morning routine and drop offs, having grandma do them, and making dinner, grandma does it, then get an extra day off each week I can see why she chooses that. It's selfish, IMO, to put all that on grandma without paying her or sending her on holidays as thanks.
Load More Replies...
Janelle Collard 6 months ago
If the kids are 10 + 12 + can't do stuff on their own, their mom needs to step up the parenting, i.e., teach them how to do stuff to become self-sufficient.
Emilu 6 months ago
I wish I knew when childcare by grandparents became supposedly “compulsory”. Because it’s really not. It’s a privilege, not a right. Daughter needs to check her privilege and realise it isn’t all about her. Go put your kids in daycare (!! I know, right??) if you don’t like the hours mum can do. FFS.
Orysha 6 months ago
Of course Op's daughter is upset., she's losing her free full time babysitter. The kids are 12 and 10 unless they have special needs or try to k**l each other every time there's no grown up around they don't need babysitters. Why would the kids want to be more independent? There's always OP to help.
Zero Costa 6 months ago
if they're in australia there's literally before and after school care held at school they can go to instead?
Beth Wheeler 6 months ago
NTA Grandma. HER kids, HER problem finding coverage while you're on vacation with your sister You told her about it mos ago and she ignored it. She's a grownass woman she can figure it out!
ToGo 6 months ago
I'm not saying 60 makes you the Crypt Keeper, but it's too far along in life to be expected to care practically full time for children. It's the time when a person should get to do things as and when they please, have some fun and freedom for a change. I'd understand if OP wanted to help her daughter while she figured things out but it's been 3 years. 3 years of being responsible for kids that aren't hers from 6am-5.30pm and unbloodypaid. Daughter needs to realise how lucky she is having a mother like OP and to stop feeling so entitled to someone's else's time.
FreeTheUnicorn 6 months ago
They are 10 and 12, surely they can be on their own in their own house for the two hours until their mother gets home!
Min 6 months ago (edited)
This! How are you ever going to raise a competent and independent adult if you never give them any independence as kids? They're definitely old enough.
Load More Replies... meeeeeeeeeeee 6 months ago
I don't get why some kids expect their parents to be the caregivers for their kids, as if the parents' life doesn't matter. I have a friend who complains that her mother does nothing to help babysit her children (two-parent household), when the mother quit her job 10 years ago to mind the first one and takes them two days a week while having gout. The actual parent of the children only works 3 days a week, so two of her spare days are spent getting beauty treatments and swanning around. Yaps at least twice a month about her mother as if she's staff, no, she doesn't pay her
arthbach 6 months ago
If the daughter's work is flexible, it might be possible for her to spread her working hours over 5 days, rather than 4. This could mean she could drop the children at school, and then collect them from their aunt and uncle.
K Barnes 6 months ago
I assume that mom chooses to work 4 10s instead of 8 5s because it's easier for her given the childcare situation. If she can skip morning routine and drop offs, having grandma do them, and making dinner, grandma does it, then get an extra day off each week I can see why she chooses that. It's selfish, IMO, to put all that on grandma without paying her or sending her on holidays as thanks.
Load More Replies... Janelle Collard 6 months ago
If the kids are 10 + 12 + can't do stuff on their own, their mom needs to step up the parenting, i.e., teach them how to do stuff to become self-sufficient.
Emilu 6 months ago
I wish I knew when childcare by grandparents became supposedly “compulsory”. Because it’s really not. It’s a privilege, not a right. Daughter needs to check her privilege and realise it isn’t all about her. Go put your kids in daycare (!! I know, right??) if you don’t like the hours mum can do. FFS.
Orysha 6 months ago
Of course Op's daughter is upset., she's losing her free full time babysitter. The kids are 12 and 10 unless they have special needs or try to k**l each other every time there's no grown up around they don't need babysitters. Why would the kids want to be more independent? There's always OP to help.
Zero Costa 6 months ago
if they're in australia there's literally before and after school care held at school they can go to instead?
Beth Wheeler 6 months ago
NTA Grandma. HER kids, HER problem finding coverage while you're on vacation with your sister You told her about it mos ago and she ignored it. She's a grownass woman she can figure it out!
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