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Woman Turns Her Room Into A Dream Space, Then Takes It All When Parents Ask Her To Leave
The average age children move out of their parents’ home is steadily growing. Factors like high housing costs, student debts, and a competitive job market, among other things, are making young adults live with their parents longer. While this can help them save money and get back on their feet relatively fast, such a dynamic can present various challenges.
That said, this woman seemed not to mind living with her parents for longer. During it, she was able to work, save money, and even update the house a bit. But the moment she turned 25, her parents demanded that she move out, hoping she would leave the items she had upgraded behind. Unfortunately, this didn’t happen, which left them furious.
RELATED:
Young adults are living longer with their parents
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
As did this one, until her parents decided to kick her out and take advantage of the improvements she made to their house
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Yan Krukau / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: TAMovingout
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
1.5 million adults under 35 are living with their parents
Many plan on landing a dream job and moving to the big city after graduation, as that’s what the definition of success seems to be nowadays. But around 1.5 million adults under 35 aren’t able to do that and are instead living with their parents.
It’s absolutely not something to be embarrassed about, since those who stay or move back in with their parents do so not because they want to, but because they have to and need the extra support.
“The main reasons for moving back home I, and our members, come across in private practice are financial pressures and relationship breakdowns,” psychologist Dr. Zena Burgess says. “Young adults are suffering through the cost-of-living crisis, unable to afford housing or even a room at a shared house.”
Living with parents can be incredibly helpful for those who need support and time to save money. However, whatever the reason, adult children living with parents can be a dynamic that poses challenges for everyone involved. As a result, these hurdles often lead to poorer mental health for young adults. What can help to make the situation better is making an exit plan and maintaining boundaries.
Having a plan can motivate you to reach your goals and move out faster (if that is your goal). Besides, parents are probably also curious about the duration of your stay. Meanwhile, boundaries can help to maintain some sense of privacy, both for parents and their adult children.
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
“Supporting the transition, even if it takes ‘longer,’ especially in the crazy world we live in today, can be a normal”
At some point, most children (depending on the circumstances) will need to leave their parents’ nest by their own choice or with a little encouragement. In both scenarios, both parties have to prepare for it to make it as smooth and conflict-free as possible.
Besides the financial planning mentioned above, children and their parents need to set a time frame as well as expectations around the move. This can prevent procrastination and allow for imposing some consequences if the child doesn’t succeed in moving out. Not like forcing them out of the house, but like increasing their share of responsibility or bills.
Even if it takes longer for kids to move out, parents should support them either way and refrain from piling guilt and shame on them. “Supporting the transition, even if it takes ‘longer,’ especially in the crazy world we live in today, can be a normal process for many,” Tara Unverzagt, a certified financial therapist, noted.
That said, parents shouldn’t make it too easy for their kids to live in their home, according to certified financial planner Jim Kinney.
“Avoid the temptation to help with financial strains” he said. “What adults do when they face financial shortfalls is they take a second job, start a side gig, learn a new skill, etc. If you help them by picking up their auto insurance, or car payment, you take away the only motivation they have to improve their own earning potential and skills.”
The woman shared some additional information in the comments
Most commenters agree there’s nothing wrong with taking things that she paid for
While some thought it was a jerk move
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What do you think ?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 months ago
YTAs are unhinged as usual. "How dare you take away the items YOU YOURSELF purchased and legally own?" And if "any changes you make to the house belong to the house" - wtf? no. If you purchased a TV while living in an apartment or rental house, does that TV suddenly "belong" to the apartment or rental house? Hell no. It belongs to the person who PURCHASED it.
BlackestDawn 3 months ago
Yeah, even if we exclude items that don't need to be anchored/affixed to the house itself the phrase "any changes" would include things like curtains, ceiling lamps, and wall mountings for TVs. Pretty sure almost no one would argue those belong to the house.
Load More Replies...
Power puff scientist 3 months ago
YTA people are always so wild. If she just takes her own stuff what's the problem. She can help her parents get their own smart stuff set up now.
Emilu 3 months ago
Or not. The parents sound like they need a 'stupid' set up. 😆
Load More Replies... Emilu 3 months ago
Fucking YTAs that live in another universe. She didn't ask to be born, so the parents looking after her is the bare minimum. And as @Lakota and @Power puff scientist say; she paid for those items herself. Why should she leave those to the parents, especially with their attitude? Parents can pay for what they miss on their own damn dime.
Alexandra 3 months ago
The YTA's seem to think that just because your parents had you, you should be grateful for the food, shelter and clothing they give you. As soon as someone starts with 'ungrateful' I always point out that a) children did not ask to be born and b) that the parents made a choice to have a c hild and therefore have the duty and responsibility to take care of the child: it's not a favour. Too many parents think their children 'owe' them in some way and the funny thing is, the less parents have done for their kids, the more they think they are 'owed' by them....
SheamusFanFrom1987 3 months ago
These YTA dum-doos should never be allowed to have good things. What part of "OP's owns and purchased all the improvements" did their miniscule minds miss...? OP's parents were charging her rent so she was basically renting a room, not having a home. Now that she's leaving, she is well within her rights to leave her room with as is before all the improvements. Plus, leaving behind a 65' TV??? How dumb--f**k delusional can you get??? Hopefully OP's minimizes contact with this bozo bunch to the point of none...!!! -_-"
Trillian 3 months ago (edited)
If I were the parent (and I totally get wanting your adult kids out of the house at some point even if they pay rent) I would have asked her to leave the stuff and paid for it to stay. But never to expect her to leave them for free. My son recently moved from an apartment he shared with a friend to a smaller one and asked could we use his big nice dining table. He would have left it for free but I insisted on paying what he paid for it. He is my kid and needs money for his new place.
Ge Po 3 months ago
This is what I would have done, yes. Offering for them to buy it so we also can skip the extra work of refitting and plugging holes. If they would not have been able to pay for it (at ones), I could have suggested not to pay rent the last few months instead.
Load More Replies... marcelo D. 3 months ago
YTA are idiots, and definetly insane. "The upgrades you made to the house"? What upgrades? She didn't build walls. She took appliances she bought originally and put back what was there before. An alexa is not an improvement to the house,. A plug socket is not an improvement to the house
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 months ago
YTAs are unhinged as usual. "How dare you take away the items YOU YOURSELF purchased and legally own?" And if "any changes you make to the house belong to the house" - wtf? no. If you purchased a TV while living in an apartment or rental house, does that TV suddenly "belong" to the apartment or rental house? Hell no. It belongs to the person who PURCHASED it.
BlackestDawn 3 months ago
Yeah, even if we exclude items that don't need to be anchored/affixed to the house itself the phrase "any changes" would include things like curtains, ceiling lamps, and wall mountings for TVs. Pretty sure almost no one would argue those belong to the house.
Load More Replies... Power puff scientist 3 months ago
YTA people are always so wild. If she just takes her own stuff what's the problem. She can help her parents get their own smart stuff set up now.
Emilu 3 months ago
Or not. The parents sound like they need a 'stupid' set up. 😆
Load More Replies... Emilu 3 months ago
Fucking YTAs that live in another universe. She didn't ask to be born, so the parents looking after her is the bare minimum. And as @Lakota and @Power puff scientist say; she paid for those items herself. Why should she leave those to the parents, especially with their attitude? Parents can pay for what they miss on their own damn dime.
Alexandra 3 months ago
The YTA's seem to think that just because your parents had you, you should be grateful for the food, shelter and clothing they give you. As soon as someone starts with 'ungrateful' I always point out that a) children did not ask to be born and b) that the parents made a choice to have a c hild and therefore have the duty and responsibility to take care of the child: it's not a favour. Too many parents think their children 'owe' them in some way and the funny thing is, the less parents have done for their kids, the more they think they are 'owed' by them....
SheamusFanFrom1987 3 months ago
These YTA dum-doos should never be allowed to have good things. What part of "OP's owns and purchased all the improvements" did their miniscule minds miss...? OP's parents were charging her rent so she was basically renting a room, not having a home. Now that she's leaving, she is well within her rights to leave her room with as is before all the improvements. Plus, leaving behind a 65' TV??? How dumb--f**k delusional can you get??? Hopefully OP's minimizes contact with this bozo bunch to the point of none...!!! -_-"
Trillian 3 months ago (edited)
If I were the parent (and I totally get wanting your adult kids out of the house at some point even if they pay rent) I would have asked her to leave the stuff and paid for it to stay. But never to expect her to leave them for free. My son recently moved from an apartment he shared with a friend to a smaller one and asked could we use his big nice dining table. He would have left it for free but I insisted on paying what he paid for it. He is my kid and needs money for his new place.
Ge Po 3 months ago
This is what I would have done, yes. Offering for them to buy it so we also can skip the extra work of refitting and plugging holes. If they would not have been able to pay for it (at ones), I could have suggested not to pay rent the last few months instead.
Load More Replies... marcelo D. 3 months ago
YTA are idiots, and definetly insane. "The upgrades you made to the house"? What upgrades? She didn't build walls. She took appliances she bought originally and put back what was there before. An alexa is not an improvement to the house,. A plug socket is not an improvement to the house
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