Lady Doesn’t Want Daughter’s Partner Of 6 Years On Family Trip, Folks Slam Her With Reality Check

Going on a trip with your parents and siblings is honestly the best if you are on good terms with them. However, isn’t it obvious that if you are in a serious relationship, your partner also becomes part of the family?

Well, some parents have difficulty digesting this, as they still cling to the “us and our kids” idea forever, just like the original poster (OP). She’s upset her daughter wants to bring her long-term partner on their vacation, as she wants it to be an exclusive “family-only” holiday. Let’s see how things turned sour after her daughter disapproved!

More info: Mumsnet

Vacationing with parents and siblings is fun, but you also want your partner along if you consider them “family”

Hands marking a world map during family trip planning, with travel tickets, camera, and passport nearby.

Image credits: Vlada Karpovich / Pexels (not the actual photo)

A woman vented online that she has planned a family vacation with her adult children, but the younger daughter wants to bring along her partner

Text excerpt discussing a family trip plan and tension after mom excludes boyfriends as family, causing daughter to refuse to go.

Text discussing a family trip conflict where a mom says boyfriends don’t count as family, causing a 25-year-old daughter to refuse.

Text showing a mother explaining to her daughter why boyfriends don’t count as family during a family trip disagreement.

Text excerpt about a long-distance relationship causing a family trip conflict over boyfriends not counted as family.

Image credits: OneLilacPanda

Older woman in sunglasses and leather jacket looking at her phone, reflecting family trip conflict about boyfriends not counting.

Image credits: Anna Shvets / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The poster got annoyed by this as she wanted it to be a “family-only” holiday, and she told her daughter so

Text message about a family trip dispute where daughter refuses to join because boyfriends don't count as family.

Text update about family trip conflict where mom says boyfriends don’t count as family, causing daughter to refuse participation.

Text on a plain white background stating a family conflict about boyfriends not counting as family, causing a 25-year-old daughter to refuse a trip.

Text on a white background reading it’s been helpful to think about these comments I’ll think about how to talk to her about the holiday and apologise

Image credits: OneLilacPanda

Young woman in gray sweater upset during family trip video call about boyfriends not counting as family conflict.

Image credits: Alex Green / Pexels (not the actual photo)

However, this upset the daughter as she now refuses to even come on the trip as her mom doesn’t consider her long-term partner family

Text discussing a mother-daughter trip and family dynamics including siblings, husband, and bonding time plans.

Text saying a mom assumed daughter would go on family trip without her boyfriend but daughter refuses, causing family tension.

Text quote about realizing being unreasonable, related to family trip conflict over boyfriends not counting as family.

Text discussing regret and hope for mending family relationships after a divide over boyfriends not counting as family.

Image credits: OneLilacPanda

After taking netizens’ advice, the poster realized that she is being very unreasonable and plans to apologize to her daughter

Today, we dive into a conflict that arose between this mother-daughter duo over a vacation. The poster is the mom who tells us that their family has not gone on a trip for quite some time, so she has planned one, along with her husband, son, and 2 daughters. The problem started when the younger daughter, who is 25 years old, said that she is going to bring her partner along.

This really upset the poster, and she even told her daughter that it’s a “family-only” holiday. The thing is, the daughter is living with her partner and they have been together since she was 19, so 6 years. She didn’t like that her mom doesn’t consider him family, considering their long-term relationship, so she is refusing to even come for the trip.

OP says that the daughter and her partner already live 7 hours away, so they don’t really see much of the couple. She also feels that the 25-year-old should not need to do everything with him, and should come with them on the trip, so she vented online. However, people reminded her that she’s being unreasonable and going overboard with her demands.

According to Psychology Today, boundaries are the foundation for mutual respect, and they permit each of us to maintain our own space and autonomy while sustaining a close emotional connection. Psychotherapist and relationship expert Terri Cole also says that when parents violate boundaries, it’s a clear sign of disordered family systems.

Woman feeling stressed and upset at home during a family trip conflict about boyfriends not counting as family

Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Just like netizens pointed out, the mom is overstepping by asking her daughter not to bring her partner along when her own husband is also coming. They explained that she needs to back off a little and think things from the 25-year-old’s perspective. Further, people also commented that even they would say no if their parents had such unreasonable expectations from them.

Gail Roeshman, a specialist in family dynamics, suggests that it’s important to identify the unrealistic expectations that people can have from their family in order to have a healthy relationship. Now, if all the research is clearly pointing out that parents have to keep their expectations real and not violate boundaries set by adult children, it must be true.

Upon looking at all the suggestions that the woman received from netizens, she thankfully realized her mistake. OP tried to justify her actions owing to the fact that her other children don’t mind going on the trip without their partners. However, she informed folks that she is glad for the slap of reality and plans to repair the damage that she has caused. 

The poster even liked the idea suggested by the netizens about a mother-daughter trip and is looking forward to trying that out, too. Well, we hope that she is able to reconcile with her daughter and consider her partner “family”. That’s it from our end, folks. Do you agree with the verdict given by people online? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section!

People claimed that she is asking too much from her daughter, and they might even get upset if their parents asked this of them

Comment discussing challenges of planning a family trip when boyfriends are not considered family members.

Comment on a family trip dispute where mom says boyfriends don’t count as family, causing daughter to refuse to join.

Comment expressing frustration over exclusion of boyfriends from family trip plans causing conflict with adult daughter

Text post about family trip disagreement where a mom says boyfriends don’t count as family and daughter refuses to go.

User comment discussing a 25-year-old woman refusing a family trip due to her boyfriend not being counted as family.

User comment about feeling upset when a long-term partner is not considered family during a family trip dispute.

Screenshot of an online comment about a family trip dispute involving a 25-year-old daughter and her mother.

Comment by user RechargeableGnu suggesting partner's company during a family trip conflict about boyfriends and family.

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