Mom Spends Daughter’s College Fund On A House After Divorce, Wrongly Expecting Ex-MIL To Fund It All

Perhaps the biggest problem with education these days is that it’s so damn expensive. The internet is full of sad stories about the student loan debt trap, so if you have a wealthy relative willing to finance your education, they should be your best friend for the next few years, right?

But we’re talking about young people who have always had a hard time hiding their emotions and pretending – even if their future actually depends on it. And so, our story today from the user u/Sario001 is about exactly that. And about how a man was forced to de facto choose between his mother and his daughter.

More info: Reddit

The author of the post has two teen children – his elder son is in college and his 17YO daughter is getting ready to pick her college now

Young woman holding books, contemplating college tuition options outside a historic building.

Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Recently the man divorced his wife, who then spent most of their daughter’s college fund on her new home

Text describing a family situation about education and a grandmother's promise to pay for college tuition.

Text discussing granddaughter prioritizing mom's family over dad's post-divorce.

Text about family dynamics and withdrawn promise of college tuition from grandmother.

Image credits: Sario001

Elderly woman using smartphone outdoors, wearing scarf and jacket, reflecting on family and tuition promise.

Image credits: Kampus Production / Pexels (not the actual photo)

However, the author’s mom expressed her wish to fund her granddaughter’s education

Text about college challenges and financial struggles after family changes.

Text explaining a granddaughter's family priorities affecting her college tuition support decision.

Text discussing consequences of prioritizing mom’s family over other grandma’s college tuition promise.

Text discussing parental responsibility in choices and seeking advice on involvement in family situations.

Image credits: Sario001

A stressed student resting on open books, related to college tuition and family priorities.

Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)

But time went on, and the teen nearly cut all ties with dad’s family, and refused to visit her grandma

Text discussing consequences of granddaughter prioritizing mom's family over college tuition.

Text message discussing cultural differences in family dynamics and communication priorities.

Text discussing the importance of engaging with the outside world and not relying solely on online environments.

Text discussing perceptions of age and responsibility across cultures.

Image credits: Sario001

So the grandma took offense at this and changed her mind on funding Sam’s college from now on, actually pushing her to pick student loans

So, the Original Poster (OP) has 2 children, a 19YO son and a daughter, “Sam,” two years younger. The man says that he has always prioritized his children’s education, so his son is now off at school and is doing very well. Now it’s time for the daughter to choose her own educational path – and that’s where the problem arose.

The thing is that the author and his wife got divorced, and his now-ex spent literally all of their daughter’s college fund on her new home. Sam didn’t mind – after all, her grandmother, our hero’s mom, sincerely promised to finance her granddaughter’s education. But time went on and the girl spent less and less time with her grandma, preferring to communicate more with relatives on her mother’s side.

As a result, the elderly lady got offended – and after another one of Sam’s refusals to come over, she said that this felt like blatant disrespect, and changed her mind over funding her tuition. As a result, the teen faced the unpleasant prospect of choosing a college that is not the most suitable for her… And now guess who Sam turned to with a request to influence her grandma’s decision!

As for our hero, he is now torn between the two people closest to him. On the one hand, he would like to help his daughter – and in any case, he will try to help her with money. On the other hand, he understands his mother’s resentment and, in his own words, has always taught his kids to be responsible for their own words and actions. So the OP decided to ask people online for advice – what’s the best thing to do here?

Man smiling at child over coffee, reflecting on granddaughter prioritizing family.

Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Well, today, the issue of paying for education is more relevant than ever. For example, a 2024 College Ave survey claims that only 44% of parents with a child in college felt ready to pay the first tuition bill.

In addition, US News notes that in the current school year, tuition price in ranked colleges ranged from $11,011 for in-state students at public colleges, to $24,513 for out-of-state students, and to $43,505 at private colleges. In other words, Sam acted, to put it mildly, not so wisely.

“Seventeen is a mature enough age to fully understand the interrelations in human society and the possible consequences of one’s own actions,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. “Also, if the girl ignored her grandmother for a long time, then the lady’s resentment is also quite justified.”

“If I were this teen, I would be offended rather by my own mom, who spent her education fund – even if she contributed money there herself. Unfortunately, many people often take good treatment for themselves for granted, even if they treat relatives and friends rather dismissively. I hope that the dad will help this teen in any case, but this story should become a valuable life lesson for her,” Irina sums up.

People in the comments also reasonably noted that in such cases, it is best to deposit funds for a child’s upcoming education in a 579 fund, so that the future student is insured against such situations. Also, most responders agreed that Sam should’ve approached her maternal relatives with requests for support, since she has such a good relationship with them. And what do you, our dear readers, think about this story?

People in the comments mostly sided with the author, claiming that his daughter should actually take responsibility for own words and deeds

Discussion about financial support conditions related to college tuition.

Comments discussing granddaughter prioritizing mom’s family over college fund issue.

Reddit conversation about family dynamics during a divorce.

Reddit comment on college tuition involving family and misappropriation of funds.

Reddit comment discussing family prioritization and college tuition withdrawal issues.

Reddit comment discussing a granddaughter prioritizing mom’s family over college tuition funding.

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