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983
Daughter’s Vacation Trauma Comes Back To Haunt Her As Holiday Looms, Parent Turns A Blind Eye
If you’re one of the older kids in the family, you are likely well familiar with babysitting, as it’s not uncommon for parents to ask or expect help with looking after the little ones.
But not all siblings are equally eager to spend their time making sure that their beloved annoying brother or sister is safe and sound; especially while on vacation. This redditor’s adult children seemingly weren’t. When the parent bought a family vacation, they expected that the older siblings would look after the little ones at least a couple of nights during the getaway, but the kids weren’t too happy with such an arrangement.
RELATED:
It’s not uncommon for parents to expect help with childcare from their older kids
Image credits: Prostock-studio / Envato (not the actual photo)
This parent thought their older children could watch the little ones during their family vacation
Image credits: varyapigu / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: LiteratureFew8501
Children assuming parental roles might have detrimental effects
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
You don’t have to be a firstborn to know what it’s like to have to watch over the little ones in the family; middle children are not exempt from it, either, nor are only children with younger cousins, for instance. Since many people are familiar with such child care arrangements, they might not think twice about it – helping parents out is rather commonplace, if not expected, in many families. But some people doubt that that should be the case, bearing in mind that the children don’t choose to bring kids into this world, nor do they ask for the responsibility of looking after their siblings.
In some cases, such arrangements entail not much more than lending a helping hand every once in a while, which might not have significant negative outcomes. However, under certain circumstances—growing up with an abusive parent, for instance—children assuming the role of a caregiver can be seriously detrimental to their own well-being.
Known as parentification, the phenomenon of children undertaking developmentally inappropriate parent-like roles and responsibilities (usually parenting their own parent, or in some cases, their siblings) can lead to them having to bear a load way too heavy for their age. A study from 2023 found that parentification might lead to children perceiving “their obligatory adult roles negatively, as unfair and ‘robbing’ them of their childhood, and experiencing stress, role overload, and resentment”.
The study suggested that parentified youth might have limited opportunities to learn, observe, and utilize positive coping strategies, which usually derive from parental influence. However, under some—less severe and detrimental—circumstances, parentification or dimensions of parentification were reportedly linked with beneficial outcomes such as social competence.
The majority of people reportedly have a good relationship with their sibling
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages / Envato (not the actual photo)
When kids are not involved to the extent of parentification, helping moms and dads with looking after their siblings is not necessarily a bad thing. Some would even argue that spending time with one’s brothers and sisters—even if they wouldn’t necessarily choose to do that themselves at that time—might lead to a better relationship between the siblings in the long run.
For quite a few people, that tends to be the case. You might second the idea if you were an older sibling who couldn’t go outside unless you took your little brother with you, for instance; or if you were the said little brother, blissfully unaware of the price your sibling had to pay in order to go outside, and simply happy to be there. Though at that time, it likely was annoying, chances are, you now have a close relationship with your sibling.
According to Gitnux, brothers and sisters tend to spend more time together than they do with their parents or friends; and whether consequently or not, as many as four-in-five people say they have a positive relationship with said person they spend so much of their lives with.
It’s unclear how good of a relationship the redditor’s kids have; however, their daughter said that she doesn’t mind babysitting her younger siblings. In her case, the problem was not spending time with the little ones but the fact that her parent didn’t ask for help or discuss the arrangement with the older children first before making plans for the vacation. Quite a few redditors sided with the daughter, saying that the OP didn’t handle the situation quite well.
Many people thought the parent was in the wrong for expecting their older kids to babysit
Some, however, saw nothing wrong with such expectations
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What do you think ?
Helena 1 year ago
If you are giving a gift with strings, you should state the strings up front.
arthbach 1 year ago
Stupid man. If he wants family to look after the younger children, then just ask! Don't put that expectation upon them. Be upfront about it.
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Orysha 1 year ago
Of course he's an as.shole and he knows it : that's why he didn't mention babysitting before. Like one of the comments says I hope his kids would surprise him by cancelling last minute.
Melissa anderson 1 year ago
If I were his kid, I would say no to this “vacation”. The one and only reason he invited them is to be his babysitters.
Kaelyn 1 year ago
Babysitting two days isn’t bad at all. Saying a vacation is free and then dumping your kids on other people last minute is. Imagine if it was the other way around and his kids paid for vacation but expected him to babysit two days. Or even if this was done to friends instead of children. For a free vacation, I’d have no problem babysitting but the last minute “oh by the way” isn’t cool at all. Also why dictate when family time is to grown adults after everything is settled? Really seems like this guy should start stating the conditions up front.
Skogsrået 1 year ago
I have a feeling that once again OP:s daughter is gonna get stuck babysitting cause "it comes naturally for women" or some other sexist bs.
Alexandra 1 year ago
This is exactly why I always pay for my own things! OP should have mentioned the babysitting as a condition for going on the trip. The fact that he didn't clearly indicates that he knows no one would be going with him if they knew about the babysitting beforehand.
Natalia 1 year ago
Why did the daughter do so much babysitting on previous holiday(s)? Why not the son, he's the eldest after all?
Boo 1 year ago
If I was put into this situation, I would cancel and tell him to shove the trip up his jacksy, sideyways. This is just pure manipulation...."I've paid for your trip, now you are my servant".
Royal Stray 1 year ago
I don't think I'd mind hanging out with the kids for 2 days as long as they're reasonably well behaved. But if I'm doing that then I'm not going to be bound to his "family" time nights where he'll no doubt dictate what they're going to do. That'd mean 2/10 days of free time. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be the main caretaker of the kids on the family days either, that'd naturally fall on the one who gets the most worried when they run around unsupervised, my guess is that that's his daughter. So it'd be 6-8 days of babysitting for her, and it sounds like this has happened before.
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Margaret Shannon 1 year ago
The problem lies in the expectation. Expectations are disappointments in advance. The OP should have requested the boon at the same time he presented the invitation.
FluffButt Central 1 year ago
"Especially as I am bankrolling their vacation." This line is why OP is TA. This isn't a gift, which have no strings.
Amy 1 year ago
Of course he's the arsehole: a 10 day holiday and his oldest kids are only allowed 2 nights to do what they want. So 80% of their holiday is either helping with the kids or being completely responsible for them. And it seems like he only gave them that much because else he couldn't justify taking that much time for himself.
BrownEyedPanda 1 year ago
I never thought I would disagree with NTA comments, but there's a first time for everything..... If that happened to me, if I could afford it, I would go back home immediately and go extremely low-contact with Daddy Dearest. The nerve! A free vacation is supposed to be exactly that--FREE. He apparently expected the older kids to "earn" their vacation by surprising them with childcare duties. He "didn't think to mention it" because he knew damned well how it would go over--like a family of skunks during a picnic. If he keeps this up, eventually his older children will start avoiding him more often. Think Christmas, Easter, the 4th of July, Thanksgiving, birthdays; you know, the usual.
Alicia Bobcheck 1 year ago
It's really interesting how the people who are saying that he isn't the a*****e are so zealous and d**k-ish. Apparently, if you think it's wrong to expect labor of people without asking them then you're stupid and childless and c***s and ridiculous and spiteful and selfish and are children ourselves and have Daddy issues and are emotionally stunted and nuts and nepo-babies and apparently use child slave labor and so on... What an insane overreaction to a story that literally has nothing to do with you and a supremely s****y way to treat people you've never met. Honestly, why would anyone take your advice for how to be a good person when you sound like nothing but massive a******s? For f***s sake-- save your outrage for something that actually matters, people.
Alicia Bobcheck 1 year ago
The last few commenters seem to be missing the fact that he didn't ask or tell anyone until everything was already paid for. That's why he's an a*****e.
H. B. Nielsen 1 year ago (edited)
The NTAs are the ones huffing glue for once this time wow. The issue was never babysitting, as they've misconstrued it purposefully to be. As the YTAs said it was a lack of communication coupled with past actions. No c**p they could have paid for their own vacation or stayed at home if they didn't like it, but oh wait they were never informed in a reasonable amount of time. To paint the older kids as entitled is so out of line here. Sheesh.
Rosabella Alvarez-Calderon 1 year ago
To the person who said NTA: how does it feel to be so desperate for a "free" vacation that you are willing to be taken advantage of? Do you want people to babysit some nights in exchange for paying for everything else? You state it openly before anything is purchased, and do not be surprised if you are told "no thanks" What you call "sense of entitlement" is what I would call "treat adults like adults"
Hope Tirendi 1 year ago
Let's be real here the daughter is going to get stuck doing all the babysitting. The brother and his girlfriend will just leave and she can't stop that. Dad is the a*****e plain and simple. He wants 2 nights and one whole day. Hire a babysitter. Daughter do yourself a favor and STAY HOME!!!!
Anna Drever 1 year ago
He went about this the wrong way. The correct way would be to say, girlfriend and I are taking the kids on a holiday so how would you feel about babysitting them for a night or two? If you’re ok with that I’d like to thank you by paying for the holiday for everyone. Upfront and gives folks a choice without coming across as an ar$ehole.
gilliansl aka Gillian Silverlight 1 year ago
As the oldest of 7 kids, I spent most of my teen and even younger years taking care of siblings. Two of them are 17 and 19 years YOUNGER than me, and even got to the point of calling ME mama on their own. These days we can't stand each other and do not speak. I live with the sister just younger than me, and on good terms with the one born in '65, occasionally speak to my lone brother ( born in '63), and have a rather contentious relationship with the '60 one. I'd have done almost anything to get out of that house, away from my mother (as my dad did!) and away from all those whining, obnoxious kids. It took YEARS to get over that. I'd NEVER go on a vacation with all of them regardless of who was paying.
Beth Spellman 1 year ago
People who are on the NTA side are saying it's "all expenses paid" when it's not. He's TA.
Rachele Stoops 1 year ago
Most cruises have children’s programs with cruise staff. Why don’t they just take advantage of that?
heather kinsell 1 year ago
Am I the only one who thought the OP was a woman? Idk why but it came off to me that a woman was writing and not a man.
Sarah X Murphy 1 year ago
There have been articles here where a kid is expected to babysit throughout a vacation. That's deeply unfair. A day or two is fine.Yes. He should have said it up front. But there's no problem with the expectation. He should just leave the older kids behind. Hire a nanny for a day or two kid free while away with his girlfriend. Toddlerizing our kids is as bad as parentifying them.
Rachele Stoops 1 year ago
They’re adults, which means he should have asked.
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Extinct Animal 7 months ago
You eldest kids are not kids...They are adults and their own people. Went to Vietnam with the family when I was about 17, spent the first night with them and then went off the following day to do my own thing for a week because they expected me to sit in the hotel and babysit my younger brother because he was being a wimp about the heat and they wanted to go off and do their own thing. Nope.
PopeyeProcta 7 months ago
Actually wondering how many people would say theyre the AH if it was a woman 🤔 Need to communicate better with older kids. But 10days. If I was op kid I’d expect to be sitting at least one the nights. I’d even offer. Some people on here just sound like they’ve had past trauma looking after siblings in a bad way. Unless we know full history of this family we can’t say it’s the same as you had growing up
Gerard Egan 7 months ago
YTA!!! Why do some parents think getting their older kids to bay sit their younger kids is okay. If you can't baby sit DON"]'T HAVE KIDS. If this happened to me.. I'd go no contact.
Meagan Glaser 1 year ago
It's not about babysitting. It's about being treated like people. OP not only assumed the babysitting would happen, he ASSIGNED DAYS and made plans without breathing a word to anyone. He's acting like his adult children are still little kids he can assign chores to, not treating them like reasonable autonomous adults. Nobody likes to be ordered around, or treated as if they are so far beneath the mighty lord's notice taht he doesn't even need to discuss things with him.
Invisible Potato 1 year ago
he should tell them before the vacation in the "lets plan things" phase, not after. Its a reasonable request, to babysit two nights each, if he is paying for it, but he should have told them before that.
Rachna Chowdhary 1 year ago
Yes totally. He is not asking his adult kids to babysit everyday. A family needs to ensure that everyone is having fun. As he ensured that the adult kids can do stuff with their partners independently
Lindsay A 1 year ago (edited)
Am I the only one that thinks he's only an a*****e for not discussing it first? It seems like he's planned for everyone to have time to them selves. Isn't it only 2 nights out of 10? It doesn't seem unreasonable... Edit: if it would honestly be 2 nights only and it is a family holiday so why would they not spend most of their time together? I would love the opportunity to take my MIL (grhs) away on a family holiday and spend all the time as a family
Udaya Vantongelen 1 year ago
Is everything a trauma today? I get it, it's no fun being stuck to babysit your younger siblings, but to call that "trauma" is a bit overboard. I had to watch my younger sister every festival and concert we both went to, and I even had to attend concerts of bands I didn't even like to babysit her for free (even having to pay for the tickets myself). It's sucks, but isn't traumatizing.
Alicia Bobcheck 1 year ago (edited)
A trauma is any experience that leaves a long term negative emotional impact. And, you don't get to decide what should or shouldn't be traumatic for other people. You don't know what her experience was, and it's wrong to assume that yours is just like hers.
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Tori Skidori 1 year ago
Two nights and one day out of a ten day Caribbean vacation. The kids are 14, 13, 10 and 5. It would have been better to have mentioned it as the plans were made, but I can't imagine being so entitled and ungrateful that I'd have a fit about such a small part of the vacation helping out the person who provided it. Plus, other than the five year old, it's their siblings, so is it really so bad to spend some time together? Too many people act like they can demand everything but god forbid they are asked anything in return, it's so unfair! What's unfair is raising kids who think all they should ever do is take, take, take without ever giving.
Aelin Wildfire 1 year ago (edited)
Did none of you read the article where he specifically mentioned that his adult kids are ALSO going to get time to themselves? 10 nights on the vacation: 2 for him, 2 for his adult kids, and 5 family nights where everyone is all together. And the son is also being included in that babysitting (notice how he said older KIDS, not older daughter), but he apparently has no objection to it... The daughter isn't being mistreated or cheated here. She got invited along on a FAMILY vacation, same as her brother, and she's getting time alone with her partner as well. IN THE CARRIBBEAN! I'm sorry, I get that she's upset about what had happened before, but that doesn't mean it's going to be the same this time.
Alicia Bobcheck 1 year ago
I read that part. I still think he's an a*****e because he told his family, not asked them. If you read the comments, that's the major issue that most people have.
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Alicia Bobcheck 1 year ago
Hahaha, yes, anyone who disagrees with your hostile and hysterical takes on Bored Panda needs to see a therapist. My goodness! You really put a lot of stock in internet opinions.
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Alicia Bobcheck 1 year ago
Just because you're happy to do unpaid labor without being asked doesn't mean we all are. I mean, it truly is lovely that not a single person in your family shirks their duty to the youngest members, that every single person contributes totally equal, and that no family members are singled out again and again for labor. If true, then you've experienced a family dynamic that the vast majority of people don't experience. Which is why some people get very pissed off and, yes, traumatized, by being expected to take on unpaid labor. Most people wouldn't care if they were actually asked to do it and the parameters of such a thing were clear but these forums are filthy with stories of family members who expect their kids to be cared for by everyone else in the family but them or family members who end up taking care of everyone's kids without pay and without ever being asked or people who literally end up slaves to their family. You don't know their family dynamic.
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Alicia Bobcheck 1 year ago
Isn't being pissed off at people on the internet that you've never met also a first world problem that you have the nerve to b***h about? Wouldn't that also make you pathetic?
Load More Replies... H. B. Nielsen 1 year ago
If the daughter had refused I might understand some of where you're coming from, that's not what occurred at all though. Merely expecting communication and a heads up upon presenting the offer makes her suck? That's highly unreasonable.
Load More Replies... Alicia Bobcheck 1 year ago
That's not what happened and that's also not the problem. Fundamentally, the problem is that they weren't asked. They were told.
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Helena 1 year ago
If you are giving a gift with strings, you should state the strings up front.
arthbach 1 year ago
Stupid man. If he wants family to look after the younger children, then just ask! Don't put that expectation upon them. Be upfront about it.
Load More Replies... Orysha 1 year ago
Of course he's an as.shole and he knows it : that's why he didn't mention babysitting before. Like one of the comments says I hope his kids would surprise him by cancelling last minute.
Melissa anderson 1 year ago
If I were his kid, I would say no to this “vacation”. The one and only reason he invited them is to be his babysitters.
Kaelyn 1 year ago
Babysitting two days isn’t bad at all. Saying a vacation is free and then dumping your kids on other people last minute is. Imagine if it was the other way around and his kids paid for vacation but expected him to babysit two days. Or even if this was done to friends instead of children. For a free vacation, I’d have no problem babysitting but the last minute “oh by the way” isn’t cool at all. Also why dictate when family time is to grown adults after everything is settled? Really seems like this guy should start stating the conditions up front.
Skogsrået 1 year ago
I have a feeling that once again OP:s daughter is gonna get stuck babysitting cause "it comes naturally for women" or some other sexist bs.
Alexandra 1 year ago
This is exactly why I always pay for my own things! OP should have mentioned the babysitting as a condition for going on the trip. The fact that he didn't clearly indicates that he knows no one would be going with him if they knew about the babysitting beforehand.
Natalia 1 year ago
Why did the daughter do so much babysitting on previous holiday(s)? Why not the son, he's the eldest after all?
Boo 1 year ago
If I was put into this situation, I would cancel and tell him to shove the trip up his jacksy, sideyways. This is just pure manipulation...."I've paid for your trip, now you are my servant".
Royal Stray 1 year ago
I don't think I'd mind hanging out with the kids for 2 days as long as they're reasonably well behaved. But if I'm doing that then I'm not going to be bound to his "family" time nights where he'll no doubt dictate what they're going to do. That'd mean 2/10 days of free time. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be the main caretaker of the kids on the family days either, that'd naturally fall on the one who gets the most worried when they run around unsupervised, my guess is that that's his daughter. So it'd be 6-8 days of babysitting for her, and it sounds like this has happened before.
Load More Replies... Margaret Shannon 1 year ago
The problem lies in the expectation. Expectations are disappointments in advance. The OP should have requested the boon at the same time he presented the invitation.
FluffButt Central 1 year ago
"Especially as I am bankrolling their vacation." This line is why OP is TA. This isn't a gift, which have no strings.
Amy 1 year ago
Of course he's the arsehole: a 10 day holiday and his oldest kids are only allowed 2 nights to do what they want. So 80% of their holiday is either helping with the kids or being completely responsible for them. And it seems like he only gave them that much because else he couldn't justify taking that much time for himself.
BrownEyedPanda 1 year ago
I never thought I would disagree with NTA comments, but there's a first time for everything..... If that happened to me, if I could afford it, I would go back home immediately and go extremely low-contact with Daddy Dearest. The nerve! A free vacation is supposed to be exactly that--FREE. He apparently expected the older kids to "earn" their vacation by surprising them with childcare duties. He "didn't think to mention it" because he knew damned well how it would go over--like a family of skunks during a picnic. If he keeps this up, eventually his older children will start avoiding him more often. Think Christmas, Easter, the 4th of July, Thanksgiving, birthdays; you know, the usual.
Alicia Bobcheck 1 year ago
It's really interesting how the people who are saying that he isn't the a*****e are so zealous and d**k-ish. Apparently, if you think it's wrong to expect labor of people without asking them then you're stupid and childless and c***s and ridiculous and spiteful and selfish and are children ourselves and have Daddy issues and are emotionally stunted and nuts and nepo-babies and apparently use child slave labor and so on... What an insane overreaction to a story that literally has nothing to do with you and a supremely s****y way to treat people you've never met. Honestly, why would anyone take your advice for how to be a good person when you sound like nothing but massive a******s? For f***s sake-- save your outrage for something that actually matters, people.
Alicia Bobcheck 1 year ago
The last few commenters seem to be missing the fact that he didn't ask or tell anyone until everything was already paid for. That's why he's an a*****e.
H. B. Nielsen 1 year ago (edited)
The NTAs are the ones huffing glue for once this time wow. The issue was never babysitting, as they've misconstrued it purposefully to be. As the YTAs said it was a lack of communication coupled with past actions. No c**p they could have paid for their own vacation or stayed at home if they didn't like it, but oh wait they were never informed in a reasonable amount of time. To paint the older kids as entitled is so out of line here. Sheesh.
Rosabella Alvarez-Calderon 1 year ago
To the person who said NTA: how does it feel to be so desperate for a "free" vacation that you are willing to be taken advantage of? Do you want people to babysit some nights in exchange for paying for everything else? You state it openly before anything is purchased, and do not be surprised if you are told "no thanks" What you call "sense of entitlement" is what I would call "treat adults like adults"
Hope Tirendi 1 year ago
Let's be real here the daughter is going to get stuck doing all the babysitting. The brother and his girlfriend will just leave and she can't stop that. Dad is the a*****e plain and simple. He wants 2 nights and one whole day. Hire a babysitter. Daughter do yourself a favor and STAY HOME!!!!
Anna Drever 1 year ago
He went about this the wrong way. The correct way would be to say, girlfriend and I are taking the kids on a holiday so how would you feel about babysitting them for a night or two? If you’re ok with that I’d like to thank you by paying for the holiday for everyone. Upfront and gives folks a choice without coming across as an ar$ehole.
gilliansl aka Gillian Silverlight 1 year ago
As the oldest of 7 kids, I spent most of my teen and even younger years taking care of siblings. Two of them are 17 and 19 years YOUNGER than me, and even got to the point of calling ME mama on their own. These days we can't stand each other and do not speak. I live with the sister just younger than me, and on good terms with the one born in '65, occasionally speak to my lone brother ( born in '63), and have a rather contentious relationship with the '60 one. I'd have done almost anything to get out of that house, away from my mother (as my dad did!) and away from all those whining, obnoxious kids. It took YEARS to get over that. I'd NEVER go on a vacation with all of them regardless of who was paying.
Beth Spellman 1 year ago
People who are on the NTA side are saying it's "all expenses paid" when it's not. He's TA.
Rachele Stoops 1 year ago
Most cruises have children’s programs with cruise staff. Why don’t they just take advantage of that?
heather kinsell 1 year ago
Am I the only one who thought the OP was a woman? Idk why but it came off to me that a woman was writing and not a man.
Sarah X Murphy 1 year ago
There have been articles here where a kid is expected to babysit throughout a vacation. That's deeply unfair. A day or two is fine.Yes. He should have said it up front. But there's no problem with the expectation. He should just leave the older kids behind. Hire a nanny for a day or two kid free while away with his girlfriend. Toddlerizing our kids is as bad as parentifying them.
Rachele Stoops 1 year ago
They’re adults, which means he should have asked.
Load More Replies... Extinct Animal 7 months ago
You eldest kids are not kids...They are adults and their own people. Went to Vietnam with the family when I was about 17, spent the first night with them and then went off the following day to do my own thing for a week because they expected me to sit in the hotel and babysit my younger brother because he was being a wimp about the heat and they wanted to go off and do their own thing. Nope.
PopeyeProcta 7 months ago
Actually wondering how many people would say theyre the AH if it was a woman 🤔 Need to communicate better with older kids. But 10days. If I was op kid I’d expect to be sitting at least one the nights. I’d even offer. Some people on here just sound like they’ve had past trauma looking after siblings in a bad way. Unless we know full history of this family we can’t say it’s the same as you had growing up
Gerard Egan 7 months ago
YTA!!! Why do some parents think getting their older kids to bay sit their younger kids is okay. If you can't baby sit DON"]'T HAVE KIDS. If this happened to me.. I'd go no contact.
Meagan Glaser 1 year ago
It's not about babysitting. It's about being treated like people. OP not only assumed the babysitting would happen, he ASSIGNED DAYS and made plans without breathing a word to anyone. He's acting like his adult children are still little kids he can assign chores to, not treating them like reasonable autonomous adults. Nobody likes to be ordered around, or treated as if they are so far beneath the mighty lord's notice taht he doesn't even need to discuss things with him.
Invisible Potato 1 year ago
he should tell them before the vacation in the "lets plan things" phase, not after. Its a reasonable request, to babysit two nights each, if he is paying for it, but he should have told them before that.
Rachna Chowdhary 1 year ago
Yes totally. He is not asking his adult kids to babysit everyday. A family needs to ensure that everyone is having fun. As he ensured that the adult kids can do stuff with their partners independently
Lindsay A 1 year ago (edited)
Am I the only one that thinks he's only an a*****e for not discussing it first? It seems like he's planned for everyone to have time to them selves. Isn't it only 2 nights out of 10? It doesn't seem unreasonable... Edit: if it would honestly be 2 nights only and it is a family holiday so why would they not spend most of their time together? I would love the opportunity to take my MIL (grhs) away on a family holiday and spend all the time as a family
Udaya Vantongelen 1 year ago
Is everything a trauma today? I get it, it's no fun being stuck to babysit your younger siblings, but to call that "trauma" is a bit overboard. I had to watch my younger sister every festival and concert we both went to, and I even had to attend concerts of bands I didn't even like to babysit her for free (even having to pay for the tickets myself). It's sucks, but isn't traumatizing.
Alicia Bobcheck 1 year ago (edited)
A trauma is any experience that leaves a long term negative emotional impact. And, you don't get to decide what should or shouldn't be traumatic for other people. You don't know what her experience was, and it's wrong to assume that yours is just like hers.
Load More Replies... Tori Skidori 1 year ago
Two nights and one day out of a ten day Caribbean vacation. The kids are 14, 13, 10 and 5. It would have been better to have mentioned it as the plans were made, but I can't imagine being so entitled and ungrateful that I'd have a fit about such a small part of the vacation helping out the person who provided it. Plus, other than the five year old, it's their siblings, so is it really so bad to spend some time together? Too many people act like they can demand everything but god forbid they are asked anything in return, it's so unfair! What's unfair is raising kids who think all they should ever do is take, take, take without ever giving.
Aelin Wildfire 1 year ago (edited)
Did none of you read the article where he specifically mentioned that his adult kids are ALSO going to get time to themselves? 10 nights on the vacation: 2 for him, 2 for his adult kids, and 5 family nights where everyone is all together. And the son is also being included in that babysitting (notice how he said older KIDS, not older daughter), but he apparently has no objection to it... The daughter isn't being mistreated or cheated here. She got invited along on a FAMILY vacation, same as her brother, and she's getting time alone with her partner as well. IN THE CARRIBBEAN! I'm sorry, I get that she's upset about what had happened before, but that doesn't mean it's going to be the same this time.
Alicia Bobcheck 1 year ago
I read that part. I still think he's an a*****e because he told his family, not asked them. If you read the comments, that's the major issue that most people have.
Load More Replies... Alicia Bobcheck 1 year ago
Hahaha, yes, anyone who disagrees with your hostile and hysterical takes on Bored Panda needs to see a therapist. My goodness! You really put a lot of stock in internet opinions.
Load More Replies... Alicia Bobcheck 1 year ago
Just because you're happy to do unpaid labor without being asked doesn't mean we all are. I mean, it truly is lovely that not a single person in your family shirks their duty to the youngest members, that every single person contributes totally equal, and that no family members are singled out again and again for labor. If true, then you've experienced a family dynamic that the vast majority of people don't experience. Which is why some people get very pissed off and, yes, traumatized, by being expected to take on unpaid labor. Most people wouldn't care if they were actually asked to do it and the parameters of such a thing were clear but these forums are filthy with stories of family members who expect their kids to be cared for by everyone else in the family but them or family members who end up taking care of everyone's kids without pay and without ever being asked or people who literally end up slaves to their family. You don't know their family dynamic.
Load More Replies... Alicia Bobcheck 1 year ago
Isn't being pissed off at people on the internet that you've never met also a first world problem that you have the nerve to b***h about? Wouldn't that also make you pathetic?
Load More Replies... H. B. Nielsen 1 year ago
If the daughter had refused I might understand some of where you're coming from, that's not what occurred at all though. Merely expecting communication and a heads up upon presenting the offer makes her suck? That's highly unreasonable.
Load More Replies... Alicia Bobcheck 1 year ago
That's not what happened and that's also not the problem. Fundamentally, the problem is that they weren't asked. They were told.
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