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“Am I A Jerk For Canceling The Entire Vacation When I Found Out That My Stepdaughters Deliberately Hid My Daughter’s Passport To Get Her To Stay Home?”
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“Am I A Jerk For Canceling The Entire Vacation When I Found Out That My Stepdaughters Deliberately Hid My Daughter’s Passport To Get Her To Stay Home?”

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Step Siblings can be pretty weird, like a person that now lives in your house but you often don’t know them nearly as long as you would a brother or sister. So naturally, there could be some conflict, but one would think that an adult would be able to set aside such pettiness in the name of family.

A dad wanted to know if he was in the wrong for canceling a big family vacation after his adult stepdaughters hid his biological kid’s passport. In a cosmically selfish move, they wanted to make sure OP’s daughter would stay behind and babysit their kids. Fortunately, Dad put his foot down and called the whole thing off.

Family drama can be hard to deal with, but sometimes it’s pretty clear who are the bad guys in a situation

Image credits: Vinta Supply Co. | NYC (not the actual photo)

A Dad wanted to know if he was a jerk for calling off a big family trip after his daughter’s passport was hidden by her stepdaughters

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The Dad knew the story didn’t make much sense, but his daughter couldn’t travel without a passport

Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Positive-Elk-8110

Stepfamilies come with their own sets of unique challenges

It’s generally never easy to learn one is going to have stepsiblings. Firstly, this is often the result of an already broken relationship, a divorce, or even a death. Now a child has to deal with their remaining parent potentially having to split attention and resources in a new direction, all for some unknown entity. This nervousness naturally can cause some tension and friction, as both households try to come to terms with a new arrangement. During cohabitation, the main difficulty that often arises is the precise one in OP’s story, that one parent might favor a child over another. A parent favoring their own child might elicit a similar reaction from the other parent, who will become overprotective of their offspring to protect them from favoritism. This inevitably leads to infighting and can be a pretty strong test of a relationship.

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Of course, in OP’s story, basically, all the players are adults. His daughter, as the youngest, is also the most vulnerable. Generally, adults should be able to move past these initial difficulties, as they are all independent and no longer need a parent to take care of them. However, the stepdaughters seem deeply spoiled, to such an extent that they will play some very childish games to get their way. It is important that an adult faces responsibility for their actions, but some of the blame must be placed at the feet of their mother, who clearly never set proper boundaries and did not step up to protect her partner’s child. Her adult children hiding someone’s passport is a clear sign of downright warped moral boundaries. Similarly, they have now put their kids at risk, as they do not have a concrete babysitter for them.

Image credits: Anete Lusina (not the actual photo)

Psychologists believe that stepchildren are often at higher risk of abuse

Some commenters believed that this story had tell-tale signs of the “Cinderella Effect,” so it’s worth exploring what that is and what it means. Despite the allusions to the story, both men and women can be abusers in a stepchild situation. Research, unfortunately, shows that stepchildren across the board are at higher risk of physical and mental abuse and even more likely to be murdered by a step-parent. This isn’t to say that a step-parent is automatically more abusive, rather, when presented with a child that isn’t their biological offspring, step-parents feel less inhibitions in perpetuating abuse. We do not know if OP’s daughter or even stepdaughters were ever abused, but it’s clear that the mother’s biological children always got preferential treatment.

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Most readers absolutely sided with OP and commended him for protecting his daughter

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Some did think he should have gotten out of such a toxic household earlier

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Justin Sandberg

Justin Sandberg

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

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Justin Sandberg

Justin Sandberg

Writer, BoredPanda staff

I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

Read less »

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

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Gene Perry
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude ... bounce the stepdaughters ... and the wife. B***h that she is. You'd be better off w/o her. See a lawyer, get a hotel room. And, take the daughter on a fab vacation. Just she & you.

Jennifer Clayton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These were really good responses. Also, stealing a passport is a massive crime for a reason. That lack of boundaries and entitlement is very dangerous to be around. Clearly they are used to stealing from him and his daughter, and who knows who else. They also attempted to steal time with a father and daughter. What heartless Koontz. My first and second step mothers would be proud.

Sarah E Cofer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those are horrible people and you should get rid of your steldaughters and wife. Your daughter isnt the maid or the nanny and if they thought they could get away with treating your daughter like the hired help then they dont deserve any vacations or holidays. You should take your daughter to a special place for like a month and exclude the horrible people who excluded her. Your wife is straight garbage for helping to hide your daughters passport.

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Gene Perry
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude ... bounce the stepdaughters ... and the wife. B***h that she is. You'd be better off w/o her. See a lawyer, get a hotel room. And, take the daughter on a fab vacation. Just she & you.

Jennifer Clayton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These were really good responses. Also, stealing a passport is a massive crime for a reason. That lack of boundaries and entitlement is very dangerous to be around. Clearly they are used to stealing from him and his daughter, and who knows who else. They also attempted to steal time with a father and daughter. What heartless Koontz. My first and second step mothers would be proud.

Sarah E Cofer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those are horrible people and you should get rid of your steldaughters and wife. Your daughter isnt the maid or the nanny and if they thought they could get away with treating your daughter like the hired help then they dont deserve any vacations or holidays. You should take your daughter to a special place for like a month and exclude the horrible people who excluded her. Your wife is straight garbage for helping to hide your daughters passport.

Load More Comments
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