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Employment Attorney Reminds Folks To Not Consider Their Coworkers Or Company A “Family”, Goes Viral With 2.8M Views
Employment Attorney Reminds Folks To Not Consider Their Coworkers Or Company A “Family”, Goes Viral With 2.8M Views
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Employment Attorney Reminds Folks To Not Consider Their Coworkers Or Company A “Family”, Goes Viral With 2.8M Views

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While there are a lot of variables in the machine we call work, there are certain conditions that might lead us to feel like a workplace and everyone involved in it is a family of sorts; if anything, they can be friends.

But, again, there are a lot of variables, and the same work we’re talking about can become very toxic very quickly, and at the end of the day, we need to remember that a workplace is ‘just business’—it’s not inherently a friend, nor a family, and not there for us.

And there is actually a reminder about this hovering about the internet in video form, which has recently been going viral.

More Info: TikTok

RELATED:

    While, at face value, calling your team family sounds great, it does have personally devastating implications in the long run

    Image credits: delyannethemoneycoach

    Meet Delyanne Barros, a money coach and a CNN podcast host who has recently gone to her TikTok with a friendly neighborhood reminder about what work, in its essence, really is—it’s a business relationship between the business and you, the employee. Nothing more.

    In her now viral video, she explains that coworkers are not anyone’s family at the workplace. The boss as a company figure is not anyone’s friend. And the company is not a community or a tribe.

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    The concepts of family, friend, community and tribe are all based on mutual understanding, love, care, and everything in between that pertains to humans maintaining healthy social ties with each other.

    A money coach has recently come out with a short, but spot-on video pointing out that coworkers are not family

    Image credits: delyannethemoneycoach

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    A business, on the other hand, is an entity focused on generating wealth. And while a community or a tribe can be focused on that too, a business is void of the emotional and social connections that develop within social constructs like communities.

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    Delyanne elaborated that she has worked as an employment attorney for 14 years and she witnessed how very loyal employees are treated like trash at the workplace when push comes to shove. So, where’s the community, the love, and the caring now?

    Her immediate recommendation is to start investing your money so that you have what she calls an FU (or ef you) fund ready as an exit strategy for “when this happens”. Not if, but when.

    You can check out the full video below

    @delyannethemoneycoach Build that FU fund! #corporatetiktok#corporatelife#jobtips#fintok#corporateamerica#jobsearch♬ original sound – Delyanne

    Delyanne also followed up with a response to a commenter, who’s an HR, agreeing with the idea that colleagues are not friends

    Image credits: @delyannethemoneycoach

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    Image credits: @delyannethemoneycoach

    Several days later, she came out with another video, which was in response to one of the commenters on the ‘coworkers are not your family’ video, focusing a little bit more on what the HR’s function is in a given company.

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    In short, the HR is a company representative whose main task is to limit the liability of the business. They are not obligated, nor will they really fight for you like a union would, so it’s best to assume the “have everything in writing” approach whenever agreeing to something with HR.

    But back to the main video. Folks in the comment section had a lot to say about it, with one side cheering the idea on, saying that work “is literally a business transaction” and that it’s a healthy thing to have one’s work life and personal life run parallel, never intersecting.

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    But there were also those who disagreed, saying that not all jobs are the same (remember the variables we started off with?) and there exist workplaces that are oriented towards fostering social relations.

    Needless to say, this sparked a bit of a debate among commenters, with most agreeing, but some arguing that companies can be family

    Image credits: Blondinrikard Fröberg

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    Whatever the case may be, the video was soon off the ground and in the ether of virality, having racked up over 2.8 million views and 281,300 likes in under a few days.

    And while Delyanne’s words can be discussed and debated, a Harvard Business Review article took a deep dive into the toxic side of calling a company or a team a family, supporting Delyanne’s claim.

    What seems like a concept that ought to bring comfort and a sense of bonding among people in a team more often than not leads to blurred lines between the personal and the professional, and instills an overly exaggerated sense of loyalty that harms the individual first.

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    Moreover, it provides the employer a certain power dynamic where they can start to abuse their workers, taking advantage of the emotional bond they have seemingly developed with the business. And this is all to improve efficiency and morale, when the right thing to do is to stay truthful, have verbatim goals, set clear boundaries, and keep things professional, without losing touch with the fact that you’re working with real live human beings.

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    You can check out Delyanne’s video here, or if you want more information, feel free to peruse her entire TikTok channel as well as her website. But before you scurry off to read another one of our articles, why not share your thoughts on the matter—are you all for what Delyanne says, or would you argue against it? Let us know what you think in the comment section below!

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    Robertas Lisickis

    Robertas Lisickis

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    Some time ago, Robertas used to spend his days watching how deep the imprint in his chair will become as he wrote for Bored Panda. Wrote about pretty much everything under and beyond the sun. Not anymore, though. He's now probably playing Gwent or hosting Dungeons and Dragons adventures for those with an inclination for chaos.

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    Robertas Lisickis

    Robertas Lisickis

    Author, Community member

    Some time ago, Robertas used to spend his days watching how deep the imprint in his chair will become as he wrote for Bored Panda. Wrote about pretty much everything under and beyond the sun. Not anymore, though. He's now probably playing Gwent or hosting Dungeons and Dragons adventures for those with an inclination for chaos.

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

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    Monika Pašukonytė

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

    What do you think ?
    Joel Hopkins
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "We work hard and play hard here" is a serious red flag. It means they expect you to work 12 hours days and then go party with them after hours. Oh, and if anything untoward happens on those off hours, expect the HR goon squad to be talking with you soon. Same goes with "we're a family here". What that means is the owners expect you to work long hours for cheap like their kids did when building the business, and that they promote family values, but not nearly as often as they promote actual family members.

    Menacia Jones
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have always lived by the separation of work and home policy. I don't share anything personal but am still friendly and talk to people. My coworker right next to me can't keep any kind of gossip or information to themselves so am very careful around them though I like her as well. Whenever I hear someone refer to my company as a family I cringe. Some have developed friendships and there have been relationships and even marriages. Will make things much easier when it's time to leave.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    Tom Hanlin
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But... but... my last boss felt strongly that he was paying us to be his friends. It's not as if anyone would do that voluntarily.

    GirlFriday
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Work to live, don't live to work. I have been with my company for nine years and I work with great people, but they are not my friends. I would do anything for these people that is job related while on the clock, but off the clock, I wouldn't go out of my way for any of them.

    Memere
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Agreed. I've actually seen co-workers after hours & on weekends while out running errands & hid from them or turned back the other way!

    Load More Replies...
    Winter
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    🎶... will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64...🎶

    Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    what about people who live paycheck to paycheck, habe debt and nothing to invest ?

    Gwen Johnson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did my job and went home for over 45 years...avoid gossip and gossipers and getting to friendly with coworkers. Worked for corporation and small business...keep your personal business to yourself...found that even the best intentioned folks will turn on you if it benefits them

    Jenelle620
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think there is a big difference between making friends with a coworker(s) than it is to say the company as a whole is your community or the entire team/dept etc you work for are your family. I met my best friend 14 years ago at a job, neither of us have worked at for years now and we are still best friends. Our friendship has zero to do with the job. To me this is completely different than acting like your direct manager or anyone in a position higher than you is your friend or family. Or that HR is there to protect you. Anyone with a job should know HR is there to protect company interests. I go to work do my job and go home. But that does not mean there aren't people there that are friends whom I speak to and see outside of work.

    Peter Korsten
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's nothing wrong with making friends with your colleagues. But always bear in mind that there is a business agreement, and that this can be terminated. Learned that the hard way, when a colleague/friend became my boss. It's something I had to explain years later to a much younger boss, that I like him, but he's not my friend, and I'm not interested in doing team building activities, especially outside of work.

    Janet Graham
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had one job where I felt valued. This was a brand new plant and we were the first crew. We helped establish rules for the job, basic standards and wrote the 'how to ' books. We ranged in age from 22 to 55 and I felt like I 'owned' my position. It was a great place to work and many of us felt like good friends and maybe family. Over time, people came and left. The worst was when our boss was promoted and the new guy was a polar opposite. He only lasted 2 years, but that was long enough to re-set the atmosphere. We still all got along, but we were not so tight. I worked there for 12 years and it is still the best job I ever had.

    Load More Comments
    Joel Hopkins
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "We work hard and play hard here" is a serious red flag. It means they expect you to work 12 hours days and then go party with them after hours. Oh, and if anything untoward happens on those off hours, expect the HR goon squad to be talking with you soon. Same goes with "we're a family here". What that means is the owners expect you to work long hours for cheap like their kids did when building the business, and that they promote family values, but not nearly as often as they promote actual family members.

    Menacia Jones
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have always lived by the separation of work and home policy. I don't share anything personal but am still friendly and talk to people. My coworker right next to me can't keep any kind of gossip or information to themselves so am very careful around them though I like her as well. Whenever I hear someone refer to my company as a family I cringe. Some have developed friendships and there have been relationships and even marriages. Will make things much easier when it's time to leave.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    Tom Hanlin
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But... but... my last boss felt strongly that he was paying us to be his friends. It's not as if anyone would do that voluntarily.

    GirlFriday
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Work to live, don't live to work. I have been with my company for nine years and I work with great people, but they are not my friends. I would do anything for these people that is job related while on the clock, but off the clock, I wouldn't go out of my way for any of them.

    Memere
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Agreed. I've actually seen co-workers after hours & on weekends while out running errands & hid from them or turned back the other way!

    Load More Replies...
    Winter
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    🎶... will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64...🎶

    Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    what about people who live paycheck to paycheck, habe debt and nothing to invest ?

    Gwen Johnson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did my job and went home for over 45 years...avoid gossip and gossipers and getting to friendly with coworkers. Worked for corporation and small business...keep your personal business to yourself...found that even the best intentioned folks will turn on you if it benefits them

    Jenelle620
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think there is a big difference between making friends with a coworker(s) than it is to say the company as a whole is your community or the entire team/dept etc you work for are your family. I met my best friend 14 years ago at a job, neither of us have worked at for years now and we are still best friends. Our friendship has zero to do with the job. To me this is completely different than acting like your direct manager or anyone in a position higher than you is your friend or family. Or that HR is there to protect you. Anyone with a job should know HR is there to protect company interests. I go to work do my job and go home. But that does not mean there aren't people there that are friends whom I speak to and see outside of work.

    Peter Korsten
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's nothing wrong with making friends with your colleagues. But always bear in mind that there is a business agreement, and that this can be terminated. Learned that the hard way, when a colleague/friend became my boss. It's something I had to explain years later to a much younger boss, that I like him, but he's not my friend, and I'm not interested in doing team building activities, especially outside of work.

    Janet Graham
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had one job where I felt valued. This was a brand new plant and we were the first crew. We helped establish rules for the job, basic standards and wrote the 'how to ' books. We ranged in age from 22 to 55 and I felt like I 'owned' my position. It was a great place to work and many of us felt like good friends and maybe family. Over time, people came and left. The worst was when our boss was promoted and the new guy was a polar opposite. He only lasted 2 years, but that was long enough to re-set the atmosphere. We still all got along, but we were not so tight. I worked there for 12 years and it is still the best job I ever had.

    Load More Comments
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