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923
Man Keeps Misgendering His Coworker Thinking He’s Untouchable, To His Surprise Gets Fired
We all should respect other people’s self-expressions, even if we wouldn’t choose the same ourselves. Well, sadly, that’s not the idea that all of the people on this planet follow. For some, disrespecting others due to the way they look is a way to go.
Today’s original poster had one of these people as their coworker. He constantly mocked their cisgender coworker by calling her “sir.” And that was just because she didn’t comply with what’s considered typically feminine. Funnily enough, these unfunny jokes efficiently ended his long-lasting career at that company.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Unfortunately, not everyone in this world understands how important it is to respect others, which leads to many hurtful interactions
Image credits: Gökhan Baykal / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The author once had a coworker who constantly maliciously misgendered their cisgender colleague just because she didn’t comply with typical feminine norms
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/wyattkelly
So, one time a group of employees reported this man to the management, who sat him down to talk and some time later, when they realized the conversation didn’t work, fired him
A few years ago, the OP had two coworkers who couldn’t peacefully coexist. And it was because one of them was an awful person.
The first coworker was a non-feminine woman, dubbed “Kate” in the story. She was tall, muscular, and had a mohawk. At the same time, she was one of the sweetest people one could meet. In fact, the author said they’re proud to call her a friend. So, clearly, she wasn’t the problem.
Sadly, due to her appearance, from time to time, she would get misgendered, even though she is not trans. Whilemisgenderingmost commonly is experienced by non-binary or trans individuals, just like in the case of this story, it can happen to cis people too.
Rare incidents of this might not fazepeople as much, but frequent ones can take a toll. Especially if the intent is malicious. It makes people feel invalidated, which can impact their mental health and even their ability to properly function in society.
People in the comments under the post who shared their stories of misgendering are proof of how hurtful it can be. They opened up about how upset they were that some others simply had no regard for their self-expression since it didn’t fall into what is considered “normal.”
Speaking of inconsiderate people, the other coworker was the one we dubbed “awful.” And from what was written in the post, his colleagues would have called him that too. In fact, at one point the OP did that, just with different words.
This dude worked as a greeter at their company. He decided that it would be funny to call Kate “sir” anytime he saw her. For him, it was a clever and funny joke. He was the only one who thought that. Maliciously misgendering someone wasn’t viewed as something laughable in that workplace.
Image credits: Kindel Media / Pexels (not the actual photo)
And so, after getting tired of this poor joke, the group of employees complained about it to management. They sat him down and tried explaining why this joke was so harmful. This was a right step from the company’s side. Promoting respectful communication iscrucialfor a successful company.
Besidesall the harmful consequences we mentioned earlier, the additional layer of it happening at a workplace can be added here too. So, it would not only negatively impact a person’s mental health, but their professional relationships and productivity as well. It might make an employee feel unwelcome in their team, which can lead tosocial isolation, which can impact their emotional health. Basically, it is a never-ending circle of negative impacts.
But all of that flew over this man’s head. He thought he was untouchable as a long-time employee. So, the jokes continued.
But his employment didn’t. His not improving his behavior resulted in him getting fired, no matter his seniority. As the OP put it, “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”
Those commenters who didn’t share their stories cheered that the situation unfolded the way it did. They praised the employees for standing up to this man. Having someone to be by your side while dealing with aworkplace bully can be important for a victim.
They also expressed their hope that Kate is doing well right now, to which the OP answered that she is. They also added that she remains a very cool person. So, the only thing we can add is that we hope she’ll continue doing well and being cool. Because everyone deserves that, no matter their identity, right?
Folks on the internet cheered about how this whole nasty situation was resolved and wished the best for the woman who suffered such bullying
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What do you think ?
arthbach 1 year ago
In the comments above, Nada said, "Imagine how painful it is for someone who is actually trans.." Yes! 100 times, yes! By dealing with the misgendering of Kate in this story, it sets a precedence that other people who are misgendered will be treated fairly. It demonstrates this behaviour will not be tolerated.
TheForrestGreene (he/they/it) 1 year ago
yeah, i felt the pain when i read this. i was in such a good mood because i had a sub who thought i was a cis guy, and then i see this and i got sad :(
Load More Replies...
Sky Render 1 year ago (edited)
I still don't get why some people are so adamant about their idea of gender being immutable. It goes well beyond "biological essentialism" (which anyone who actually understands biology will tell you is not what trying to hard-lock gender and sex even IS), it's this twisted desire to hard-lock non-sexual aspects to gender that have no relevance whatsoever to gender as well. Being tall doesn't make a woman a man any more than being short makes a man a woman. And judging gender by haircuts, really? Not to mention all sorts of even more ridiculous c**p like thinking women aren't "real women" if they don't wear makeup. How the hell does this even happen to someone? And why do they never think "wow that's a really messed up way of thinking"?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
I seem to recall a period of history when men wore long-haired wigs and frilly shirts/collars XD Yet no one seems to ever question THEIR genders when we read the history books. (It's a ridiculous straw-man argument, I'm using it just to point out how silly it is to gender someone over a HAIRCUT or their clothing.) I completely agree. My own mother is of the generation/stereotype where ALL women need to wear makeup EVERY DAY even if they're not leaving the home. To say that I am a lifelong disappointment to her is an understatement XD I also do not dress femininely at all (in fact, I wear men's cargo shorts and a wallet chain) so would "Díck" in this story mis-gender me?
Load More Replies...
Lena Flising 1 year ago
If no-one laughs, it's a very poor "joke". How can you be a "greeter" and be a horrible person at the same time? (Why have “greeters” at all, seems superfluous…) I know at least one woman who is tall and muscular, and has short hair, who has been told not to use the Women's toilets. I was shocked when I heard that, that someone here had the audacity to protest. Where I live, in Europe, most public toilets in stores and restaurants, are unis*x, so who cares if the person before them in this particular toilet was man or woman, as that's the norm in most places? With today being the International S*icide Prevention Day, it’s important to note that constant bullying like this can be the last drop that pushes someone to make the decision to unalive themselves. Cis women who don’t conform, and LBGTQIA people are subjected to lots of harassing and bullying. If it’s the hundredth “joke" that week, or even that day, it does harm the person it's said to.
Joanne Mendonza-Earle 1 year ago
My cousin was boyish when we were kids and was constantly misgendered. To the point a woman told her off for being in the wrong bathroom at the movie theatre. Those were some rough years for her but she always took it in stride.
Insomniac 1 year ago
If I never get b*tched at for being in a women's washroom again it'll be too soon. It's only happened a few times, but it sucks. I'm cis, all factory parts. But I have broad shoulders and not much waist-to-hip ratio, and my voice is husky. And I'm tall and heavy, not dainty. I think some people misgender even when they know just to be able to bully. If this story is true, I hope the guy left this world painfully.
Ben Aziza 1 year ago (edited)
In a few centuries i wholeheartedly believe that technology will be so advanced that the human body will be like clay easily moldable. How will future humans look at these kinds of people? I would say a combination of amusement at how asinine they were coupled with utter disdain , disgust and utter contempt. Basically what i feel now towards people like d**k here. Complete and utter contempt. Imagine being such a loser and you want to make other people feel bad to "lift" yourself...
arthbach 1 year ago
In the comments above, Nada said, "Imagine how painful it is for someone who is actually trans.." Yes! 100 times, yes! By dealing with the misgendering of Kate in this story, it sets a precedence that other people who are misgendered will be treated fairly. It demonstrates this behaviour will not be tolerated.
TheForrestGreene (he/they/it) 1 year ago
yeah, i felt the pain when i read this. i was in such a good mood because i had a sub who thought i was a cis guy, and then i see this and i got sad :(
Load More Replies... Sky Render 1 year ago (edited)
I still don't get why some people are so adamant about their idea of gender being immutable. It goes well beyond "biological essentialism" (which anyone who actually understands biology will tell you is not what trying to hard-lock gender and sex even IS), it's this twisted desire to hard-lock non-sexual aspects to gender that have no relevance whatsoever to gender as well. Being tall doesn't make a woman a man any more than being short makes a man a woman. And judging gender by haircuts, really? Not to mention all sorts of even more ridiculous c**p like thinking women aren't "real women" if they don't wear makeup. How the hell does this even happen to someone? And why do they never think "wow that's a really messed up way of thinking"?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
I seem to recall a period of history when men wore long-haired wigs and frilly shirts/collars XD Yet no one seems to ever question THEIR genders when we read the history books. (It's a ridiculous straw-man argument, I'm using it just to point out how silly it is to gender someone over a HAIRCUT or their clothing.) I completely agree. My own mother is of the generation/stereotype where ALL women need to wear makeup EVERY DAY even if they're not leaving the home. To say that I am a lifelong disappointment to her is an understatement XD I also do not dress femininely at all (in fact, I wear men's cargo shorts and a wallet chain) so would "Díck" in this story mis-gender me?
Load More Replies... Lena Flising 1 year ago
If no-one laughs, it's a very poor "joke". How can you be a "greeter" and be a horrible person at the same time? (Why have “greeters” at all, seems superfluous…) I know at least one woman who is tall and muscular, and has short hair, who has been told not to use the Women's toilets. I was shocked when I heard that, that someone here had the audacity to protest. Where I live, in Europe, most public toilets in stores and restaurants, are unis*x, so who cares if the person before them in this particular toilet was man or woman, as that's the norm in most places? With today being the International S*icide Prevention Day, it’s important to note that constant bullying like this can be the last drop that pushes someone to make the decision to unalive themselves. Cis women who don’t conform, and LBGTQIA people are subjected to lots of harassing and bullying. If it’s the hundredth “joke" that week, or even that day, it does harm the person it's said to.
Joanne Mendonza-Earle 1 year ago
My cousin was boyish when we were kids and was constantly misgendered. To the point a woman told her off for being in the wrong bathroom at the movie theatre. Those were some rough years for her but she always took it in stride.
Insomniac 1 year ago
If I never get b*tched at for being in a women's washroom again it'll be too soon. It's only happened a few times, but it sucks. I'm cis, all factory parts. But I have broad shoulders and not much waist-to-hip ratio, and my voice is husky. And I'm tall and heavy, not dainty. I think some people misgender even when they know just to be able to bully. If this story is true, I hope the guy left this world painfully.
Ben Aziza 1 year ago (edited)
In a few centuries i wholeheartedly believe that technology will be so advanced that the human body will be like clay easily moldable. How will future humans look at these kinds of people? I would say a combination of amusement at how asinine they were coupled with utter disdain , disgust and utter contempt. Basically what i feel now towards people like d**k here. Complete and utter contempt. Imagine being such a loser and you want to make other people feel bad to "lift" yourself...
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