Lady Is Sick Of Coworker Being Passive Aggressive With Her Name, Makes Sure She No Longer Does It
It’s impossible for us to get along with every single person that we encounter in our lives. Sometimes people just don’t vibe, and that’s it. Still, it doesn’t mean they shouldn’t respect each other, especially when it comes to professional settings.
Well, a coworker from today’s story probably didn’t get this memo, as time and time again she showed a big, but at the same time subtle, disrespect to the author. And so, it was a matter of time before she got called out on it.
More info: Reddit
While we don’t have to be best friends with every person we encounter in our lives, we still need to respect them
Image credits: karlyukav / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Apparently, this woman’s coworker never realized this, as her blatant disrespect kept showing up
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
While she seemed nice on the outside, from time to time, she would say something that was kind of insulting
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Or she would deliberately forget the woman’s name during important meetings just to undermine her importance
Image credits: TrinitySignal
So, after 20 times or so, the woman got sick of this microaggression and decided to call out the coworker in an embarrassing way
The OP works in a relatively small office, where most of the people are aware of each other, at least on a name basis. So, while you would expect everyone to treat you nicely in such conditions, there’s always at least one person who ruins the vibe.
You see, on the outside, this coworker “Kara” seems reasonably nice, but if you pay even a little attention, you notice how her niceness is just passive aggression, like when she pretends to forget the original poster’s name as some kind of power play.
And she does that during important moments, like meetings or essential emails, just to undermine her, to make herself seem like the only important woman in the room, the only one with an identity.
It’s needless to say that this “quirk” of hers was getting on the OP’s nerves. So, she decided to do something about it. That something was calling the passive-aggressive coworker out. And she didn’t do it privately – no, she decided to turn the tables on her and do it during the important meeting.
Of course, technically forgetting someone’s name isn’t a crime – in fact, it’s kind of natural. Basically, people’s brains are wired to select the information they want to retain and what to delete.
Image credits: pressfoto / Freepik (not the actual photo)
As researcher Oliver Hardt said, “Without forgetting, we would have no memory at all”. What this means is that the brain cannot keep everything we learn; it has to make space for new information, which means sometimes removing stuff it deems unnecessary.
The thing with this is that it’s normal when it happens once with a person, but not 20 times, as it did in this story. If you cannot contain someone’s name after being told that many times, it’s definitely time to get your brain checked out – something’s not right.
Or more likely, it’s a simple sign of microaggression. It basically implies that you view this person as less worthy than you, to the point where their name is “needless” information for you. Basically, it invalidates a person’s identity as a worthy team member, which can be rather soul-crushing for them. After all, when you work with a team, you would like to feel like you belong to it, wouldn’t you?
That’s why netizens were more than happy that the OP managed to stand up to her bully by calling her out on the spot, where she couldn’t come up with a proper excuse and was forced to show her true intentions with such a simple act. While it didn’t impact her career in any major way, it made her confront her microaggression, so there’s hope she’ll do better in the future.
How would you have handled this coworker? Please, share your ideas in the comments!
Netizens praised her for coming up with a way to show her coworker her flaw, but not to ruin her career too much
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Names are incredibly important to our sense of self. For over 42 years I taught in a university preschool with children from all over the world. It was a wonderful experience though there were times I struggled with a child's name from another culture. I learned their names as quickly as I could and used them daily. It is so important for everyone of all ages that we feel "seen" and remembered.
When I was a child, a girl in a nearby house never ever said "me" or "I". It was a bit of a shock the first time when she said "Becky wants some crisps" and got up, went inside, got some, came out, then told me "Becky likes these ones" (prawn cocktail!). Once I asked her what she was planning to do over the weekend, and she just shrugged and said "whatever Becky feels like doing". Not seen or heard of her in something like 35 years, but I do wonder what was going on in the background that she didn't seem to understand a sense of self, or personal pronouns, or....?
Load More Replies...Names are incredibly important to our sense of self. For over 42 years I taught in a university preschool with children from all over the world. It was a wonderful experience though there were times I struggled with a child's name from another culture. I learned their names as quickly as I could and used them daily. It is so important for everyone of all ages that we feel "seen" and remembered.
When I was a child, a girl in a nearby house never ever said "me" or "I". It was a bit of a shock the first time when she said "Becky wants some crisps" and got up, went inside, got some, came out, then told me "Becky likes these ones" (prawn cocktail!). Once I asked her what she was planning to do over the weekend, and she just shrugged and said "whatever Becky feels like doing". Not seen or heard of her in something like 35 years, but I do wonder what was going on in the background that she didn't seem to understand a sense of self, or personal pronouns, or....?
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