"See nothing bad happened?". By that reckoning , get drunk, do drugs and survive the experience = See nothing bad happened. Rob, lie, rape, murder and don't get caught "See nothing bad happened". It is a fundamental violation of the moral and spiritual integrity of another being to tempt or trick them from their path because well heck "nothing bad will happen to you for doing so". It goes against and violates a person's right to make and be respected for their choices. I could not be more disgusted by what this MIL did. I am a Gnostic with a proud Christian background, I respect the sacred where it does no harm in whatever religion or belief it presents in. This woman disrespected not only her guests but her own God by using trickery to make them break their own preferred vows before that same God.

That's a hate crime. I've never understood religion but I have even gone ahead and used freshly cleaned equipment when Muslims would order a pizza where I worked.

He also wrote later: "I have made the decision as a parent to not penalize my son for anything he said in response to being violated and assaulted by my PIL. I am very proud of him and for the way he stood up for the dignity of both himself and his sister. He is a true mensch." (Googled it: Person w great integrity and honour)

Thankfully the in laws weren't testing your nut allergy

PIL are the protagonists straight out of a horror movie. They are the ones who should apologize for the disgusting thing they have done, just to prove their point. Luring your daughter to ‘the other side’, feeding you things you’re not allowed to eat… sounds like pure evil to me. On the bright side, you never have to go over there again. I wouldn’t, because they obviously can’t be trusted. I also feel sorry for the wife though, finding out your parents are such vicious people … super sad.

NTA. Apologize? Absolutely not. If anything, MIL should be apologizing. Your wife siding with the parents is messed up. Do none of them get how disrespectful MIL's actions were?

I'm Jewish by heritage, and an atheist. I think religion is a useless anachronism. And even I think PIL are disrespectful asshøles. May Yahweh smight them with his wonders.

I recently did a lunch for work, checked with coworkers if there were dietary issues, one person out of 10 said no pork for religious reasons. So I made alternatives, that catered for everyone. It never fails to amaze me how nasty and petty religious zealots are. I'm agnostic and can't imagine being as hateful and hurtful as the ones I've encountered.

"We told you nothing bad would happen" What did the stupid woman think would happen if a Jewish person ate pork? That their head explodes? I agree with the posters saying messing with other peoples food choices without them knowing is assault-whether their choice is religious, medical, allergies or just plain taste preferences, a decent host honours those the best they can. You don't deliberately sabotage a dish to prove a point-the only point it proves is that you're disrespectful, untrustworthy, abusive and insulting. Is that the sort of person they think their god wants them to be?

As an atheist I find this hugely offensive and a breach of trust. As far as the food goes, this is akin to spitting (or worse) in someone's food. From a human respect POV, this is disgusting. The in-laws have now opened themselves up to attack. This guy needs to pick apart their beliefs. He should turn their crosses upside down, mock Jesus to them, and pick apart their beliefs until either they get what they did wrong (<5% chance) or his wife and her family blow up at him. He needs to mock their prayers, their moments of comfort, and their church. Unrelentingly. Ultimately it will come down to them using the argument that because their beliefs are the only right one, he shouldn't do that. When he and his wife inevitably split, it will have left a bad taste for her parent religion in her mouth. Everyone's beliefs, so long as they give comfort to the individual that holds them and not harm others, needs to be respected. When a person fails that, they open themselves up to attack.

I was raised Catholic. Went to a catholic school until 6th grade. Then transferred to public school. But I stopped believing in god after I my bad experience w/ a Sunday school teacher in 7th. anyway.... I've dated people of all religions... but I have NEVER met a person that is more in your face & disrespectful towards other religions than a person who follows the catholic or christian religion. Their entitlement & assumption that they're the only ppl whose beliefs matter... their complete disregard for others & their cultures is disgusting... the way that they do s**t like this but then if you're say... gay or had an abortion or divorce they act as if you personally slighted them... when it has nothing to do w/ then & they have no business having any opinions about who you are & what you do w/ your life/body... the hypocrisy is another reason why I left the church n never looked back. Obviously not everyone who follows this religion is like this. But INE it's most of them.

They would never apologize or make changes for their own religion... they should not ask that of others. Appalling behavior. The very god they believe in would likely look down on them for what they did.

I am not Jewish or Muslin and I won’t touch pork. These people are disgusting, hope your wife also goes non contact with parents.

I am a devout Catholic who has friends across the whole religious spectrum. This story is beyond repulsive. "Jesus wept".

I dont understand how someone can behave in such a manner. Irrespective of the religious beliefs, it is a matter of respecting someone's choice. Period. You expect respect? How about starting with giving respect?

The only AHs are your wife, MIL and FIL. Your wife should have stood up in unison with you and your kids and left. Your In-laws should have never, ever, ever, knowingly secretly fed you pork. They violated your trust and disrespected you and your religious beliefs. If your wife doesn't realize what a huge AH she was for siding with her parents, this would make me seriously reconsider my marriage to her. And your son owes no one an apology. Your MIL absolutely was a b**** and a humongus c***.

"Here, let me slap you straight in the face & you're at fault for having a bloody nose..." There's something VERY wrong w/ these in-laws & I don't blame OP for terminating contact w/ them. He's wise. As for the boy calling the MIL a B & C... Truth is, she is. Perhaps have him write a few paragraphs as to how he could've handled the situation better & have him review this w/ a rabbi, but making him apologize to them isn't appropriate IMO. He was right to be angry.

Luke 17:1-4 NIV. 17 Jesus said to his disciples: “Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come. 2 It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble.

This is an increadibly violating thing to do to someone. It's more than just disrespect. It's a betrayal, and it's outright anti-semitism. It's tricking someone into violating their most deeply held beliefs. I hope this family get some counselling from their rabbi, especially the son, because this is clearly traumatic for him especially.

Not messing with somebody's food is like the first rule of not being a total douchebag. It's not even about possible harm to their health, as dietary restrictions are not always of medical nature, it's about respecting a person's boundaries and choices. Even if they simply don't like the taste of a certain product - don't try to sneak it into their dish.

"Apologize now for being poisoned!" Whoa?

I attended a dinner party once, the host put elk meat in the lasagna and didn't tell anyone until dessert. I was offended because I simply choose to not eat wild animals. But in the host's defense he didn't know. I cant imagine being duped as the OP was. The PIL knew what they were doing was literally wrong based on the SIL's faith which is as important to him as theirs is to them and they did it anyway. Unbelievable.

Tell the parents spiritual guider. If he is any kind of a man of the cloth he will call them out on it. Might even get them removed from their church. They aren't Christians at all they are what is wrong with the Church. Hypocrisy knows no bounds.

There are different approaches in Christianity towards Judaism. Some are very respectful towards Jews, and believe that the Jews have their own covenant with God. Others believe that Jews need to be converted to Christianity to be fulfilled - is difficult to have relationships with people who feel this way. The vast majority of religious Christians, would never be so rude to another person's religious beliefs.

if the wife isnt on his side even after knowing what happened and knowing how important the dietary requirement is to him and his children then he should instantly file for divorce,

Slightly different view here from an older person. Parent-in-law where well and truly out of line. They have no right to abuse someone for their food choices... religion or otherwise. But saying that from your post of what your son said he was also out of line, you never use language like that to others.. ever. You've just given him permission to verbally abuse others. Instead teach him to take the higher ground, apologize for the language he used, but explain why he was so upset about it... in this case I would suggest a letter. Get him to explain why he was angry about it, use scripture, law and everything he can to support his argument. This will teach him a valuable lesson on being an adult, it will put your parent-in-laws in their place of being ignorant idiots. Anger doesn't solve anything, clear concise argument does. I would too be incredibly angry if it happened to me and I'd feel like swearing my head off too, just life has taught me to be the adult and explain

Don't come for me but, ESH. I have no words to describe how wrong and vile the PIL's actions were. They displayed an unimaginable level of disrespect! However, under no circumstances should a child be allowed or encouraged to match that disrespect. Be mad, maybe even yell and call some names, but to call your stepmother's mother a b**** or c*** is over the top.

This is deeply disturbing.

I used to know a guy that was Jewish but had converted to Catholicism. He was severely allergic to pork, it made him very sick, like severe food poisoning. This woman didn't believe him, thought it was just remnants of his Jewish childhood, and snuck pork in his dinner. He was up all night sick. Shocked the hell out of the food tamperer. Bet she never did that again.

have people forgotten that jesus was jewish???

That is so bad beyond words. To do that to someone is so abusive and malicious. Very sad that they chose to do such a disgusting thing to someone. Can't see how his relationship with his wife can be mended with them being always in the background. Maybe that's their plan though? To split them up.

Lawsuit. Lawsuit. Lawsuit.

I would consider legal action. Intentionally serving food that you know is against their religion AND misrepresenting the food is probably along the lines of poisoning (assault).