Childless Woman Refuses To Give 6 Of Her Paid Vacation Days To A Coworker With Three Kids, Office Drama Ensues
The United States is the only country in the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, a group made of 36 of the world’s wealthiest nations, that doesn’t require employers to give workers annual paid leave, according to the Center for Economic and Policy Research.
That leaves 23 percent of Americans with no paid vacation and 22 percent without paid holidays. So as you can imagine, if an employee is given paid time off, they take it pretty seriously. No wonder that when the 25-year-old childless worker and the author of this post on r/AITA was asked by her 41-year-old colleague with kids to share her accumulated vacation days, the answer was negative.
“She wants me to give her 6 of my days. Her justification is that I’m childless and don’t need that many days,” the author explained. But after telling her she cannot give away her hard-earned days, the office drama ignited, so let’s read on below for how it ended.
If you have some thoughts on this incident you want to share with others, let us know in the comment section!
The 25 Y.O. childfree woman has shared a story of how her co-worker with kids demanded that she give away her vacation days so she could spend time off with her kids
Image credits: SDI Productions (not the actual photo)
It’s no secret that American births are declining, and it has partly to do with the fact that most millennials now believe that there’s more to life in the post-2008 economy than bearing kids. The stats from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) prove the statement. Their report revealed the US birth rate had fallen by 4%, the sharpest single-year decline in nearly 50 years and the lowest number of births since 1979.
So it’s only likely that the differences between people from different generations who have and don’t have kids are becoming more and more apparent. It’s especially true with people spending a lot of time together, like friends, family members and co-workers. Employees with kids may feel like they’re entitled to more acknowledgment, empathy and even rewards, but this is just not fair to their voluntarily childfree counterparts who consciously made this kind of choice.
Today, the conversation about voluntary childlessness is becoming more relevant and empowering to younger generations, and women in particular, as ever. “No one is obligated to do it if they don’t want to or aren’t ready,” the three women who created “Childfree Girls Podcast” told Bored Panda. They added that we would be genuinely surprised how many people have no idea that “they can choose not to become parents.”
The common disagreements between childfree people and parents may also have to do with the fact that previous generations, boomers in particular, saw having offspring as something courageous, mature and thoroughly encouraged. The Childfree Girls explained: “people say ‘have a child’ cavalierly, as if it isn’t the monumental job parents will often tell you it is, but it is the most personally impactful decision an individual can make, permanently affecting not only the parents’ lives, but the life or lives those parents create.”
In the midst of the pandemic, companies were more eager to reward employees with children
Meanwhile, it seems like our society is still pretty much hostile to childfree workers. At various big tech companies, during the covid-19 outbreak in the autumn of 2020, parents dealing with child care were given more time off and bonuses that were once tied to performance. The Times reported that some employees without children complained that the new benefits based on caregiving status were unfair, and that the childless were expected to pick up the slack from parents who were no longer pulling their own weight at work.
In response to the situation, people dubbed the childfree people “selfish,” a tag many of them are tired of hearing. Laszlo Bock, Google’s former head of human resources said that “for people to get upset enough to say that ‘I feel this is unfair’ demonstrates a lack of patience, a lack of empathy and a sense of entitlement.”
And this is what people had to say about this whole situation
It turns out that both parts, employees with kids and without, are unhappy
In the times of the pandemic, when everyone’s working from home, people without children are picking up a much heavier paid workload, showed a Bloomberg report. Meanwhile, parents and mothers especially are able to work less, showed the same report.
It’s only fair to see childfree people who are burdened with an immense workload feel resentment and even anger towards their counterparts with kids. At the same time, parents with kids feel completely drained after the year spent homeschooling, working from home, and little leisure time if any.
It seems like both parts are equally unhappy, so what can be done about it? Share some thoughts in the comments!
The main issue isn’t with either of the employees. A company that makes you use your holiday allowance when your brother dies is the problem. By allowing people to give their leave to other colleagues is essentially moving the issue to their employees rather than offering fair access to time off to their employees. The a hole is the company
I sort of agree with you, but surely " paid time off" is just that. Not necessarily for holidays , just time off work for whatever reason you choose. I think it was fine for the woman with kids to ask, but she definitely became TA when she started to guilt trip op for saying no.
Load More Replies...She shouldn't have even planned the vacation if she didn't have any time.
The real AH is the American system that doesn't give enough mandatory PTO and no days for a sick child or a relative's death. The secondary AH is the co-worker who thinks she is entitled to anything from her colleagues because she has children.
in Belgium we have 21 payed vacationdays a year (minimum) by law that you have to take. And lots of extra public holidays. totals around 27days
Load More Replies...NTA What is this about some people with children who think they have more rights than those without? That mother chose to have kids so it's her responsibility and not someone else's. Why do the childless have to give her stuff (day's) and ffs the mother then said "dreams are crushed" to guilt people in giving her their hard earned days. No friggin way. NTA
I have four kids. It would never even cross my mind to obligate others for my children. They're my kids and my responsibility, end of story. I'm so appalled by people who use their kids as a means to get what they want from other people. It's not healthy for the kids to use them as pawns like that.
Load More Replies...UK here. I never knew the scale of the USA's problem with workplace rights until I had to temporarily line-manage someone in our New York office. BOTH her parents went in to hospital with serious Covid and she rang me to say she would like to take her entire year's paid leave (which was only 26 days) to care for them. I said, nonsense, take as long as you need as compassionate leave and if it looks like it's going to be long term, I'll juggle the budget to get some temporary cover for you. She didn't believe me. She asked whether she would get paid during that time! She asked whether she would have to find her own cover and PAY them herself!! She asked whether she would be allowed to come back to the same job!! I couldn't believe how little protection workers in the US get. And this wasn't some poorly paid service job- this was a middle level administrator for a multi-national publishing company! Dystopian nightmare.
There is what is called Family and Medical Leave Act but it's not through your workplace; it's through the U.S. Department of Labor in the U.S. but it does not allow for a full year. It's 12 weeks. Currently, CALIFORNIA has a COVID 19 Supplemental Paid Sick leave but again, it's not for a full year. I do agree that the U.S. could do so much better especially toward it's elders.
Load More Replies...If going on a vacation with her kids was that important, she should just take unpaid days then. No one is obligated to give her theirs,
The only asshole here is the American system of time off. There is such a thing as compassionate leave in other countries, so the coworker needn't have used up her time off. I'd also have been tempted to tell the coworker that I needed the days off for several week long wild sex parties. :D
At my work, if you lose a parent or sibling I think it's one week, if it is your kid I think you get two, if anyone else dies and the funeral is out of town I think you get one. As if that's all the time you need to get over a loss.
Load More Replies...I love how some people with children feel they have a monopoly on being tired or that they deserve more vacation.
NTA, sounds like the problem was solved when she and other co-workers gave her a day each. Her suggestion that, "she's not that terrible," is generous at best. For her to accuse the OP that she crushed her children's dreams is terrible. I'm sick of people with kids thinking their time is the only time that matters.
Far too often people without kids are told they don't deserve as much in life as people who do have kids. I remember years ago a place that I worked gave holidays off to people with children as the first priority. Just because I don't have kids doesn't mean I don't have a family. Having kids isn't what MAKES a family. Me and a few others actually took it to management and got the habit squashed. That being said, it was very nice of her and some of her coworkers were each able to help a little. Help is so nice to give when you can, whether its to a mom or anyone else. I'm sure that mom appreciated it very much.
As a mom I'm sorry if you've ever felt pressured to oblige someone just because they had kids. People that makes you feel less important because you don't have kids should have some sense slapped into them. Having kids doesn't entitle anyone to special treatment. It's very compassionate for others to help parents juggle schedules, we should thank you not guilt you.
Load More Replies...I genuinely don't understand why people in the USA aren't marching in the streets for change to workplace rights. It sounds like some dystopian nightmare to the rest of the civilised world.
One thing people should understand about the US is that a lot of the employment laws are by state. The US is a federalist system of government, which means that anything not covered by the constitution is delegated to the states. Hence, the name the "United States". For example, some states require paid sick leave while others just fall under FMLA, which is federal and doesn't require pay just the time off. Some states require tipped employees to be given minimum wage plus tips, like Washington, while others don't. Honestly, some states are better to live in than others. In Oregon, for example, the time off the op's colleague took for her dead brother would've been considered bereavement leave separate from PTO. PTO is bundled leave (sick, vacation, mental health days, etc.) and also depends on state laws. Any leave given would have to be the same as or more generous than state laws, which also have to be the same or as generous as federal laws. It’s complicated.
Load More Replies...This kind of reminds me of a company where they expected the gay employee to work bank holidays/Christmas and New years day because THEY didn't have a family, they had a partner but that wasn't considered enough of a family....they no longer work for that company
If this happened, it's not the childless woman stirring up drama, it's her coworker. I've never heard of a company where you can transfer PTO days, though. Anyone?
Some companies allow it. Usually it's done for more pressing medical emergencies or someone getting time off for a death in the family after using up PTO but I guess it could be done for other situations as long as it's approved.
Load More Replies...I've actually been told that I should be willing to work Xmas and New Years because I don't have a family. What? Just because I don't have kids doesn't mean I don't have one. I had a mom and dad, sisters and brothers, their spouses and kids. That what's known as a family. Nurses who's kids may be sick get to call in all the time because they need to stay home to look after them. It's never a problem. One day, when my mom had been in the hospital and had been very sick and still weak. She was elderly. She was being discharged and I was working evening shift. I called to say I couldn't come in and why. Nope. You have to come in. She can take a cab and get settled herself. What???! I reminded the boss how it is ok for moms to call in about a child and be off. Well, today my mother is my child. Never had a problem again.
Since she succeeded in her quest to guilt trip her coworkers into giving her a benefit SHE DID NOT EARN, be prepared for her to return to the well repeatedly until she has stripped everyone of all their time off. I'm appalled at the spineless coworkers who caved to her successful extortion attempt. Motherhood is a choice and has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the number of vacation days that this person feels entitled to simply because she pushed out some kids.
If you would not give this person the equivalent number of dollars six days pay is, do not give her your days. Its the same thing. She's asking, not for days, but for money.
I was wondering this. Could op sell the days to the mom for what work would be paying op if she took them herself? (Only if op had no intention of using them.)
Load More Replies...NTA, She is for asking. It's not just time off. It's PAID time off. She is asking you for 6 days of your pay!!! Who the heck dares to feel so entitled as to ask a coworker to give them a week+ of their pay? No one is entitled to anything that belongs to someone else, ever. She sounds like the worst kind of coworker #Karen.
My husband gladly donated a day or two of his vacation time to a coworker who needed surgery and had used their sick time. This is very different. This is someone feeling they're entitled to what's the OP's.
More "Entitled" B.S...Not having a child is not a crime....I have 4. .
No. Absolutely NTA. Childless people owe nothing to parents. I'm a mum and yes it's exhausting and I feel sorry for the loss of the colleague's brother, but still... How horribly selfish do you have to be to guilt someone this way?! This is not a parent trait but a personality trait and I bet that lady behaved that way before becoming a parent.
Our system already subsidizes heterofornicators who have chosen to have children, at the expense of those of us who either don't or can't. It's unfair to demand more out of the rest of us, more than what the government already demands of us, because of your lifestyle choice. You bellow that it is necessary to procreate without boundaries, for the benefit of society and the economy. Bullshit!!! The Earth can only sustain a certain population comfortably, after which the quality of life progressively decreases for the inhabitants, and this is not equitably shared. So, as you selfishly pork out child after child, demanding the rest of us to subsidize your selfish obsession/perversion, your very actions are contributing to a world of diminishing returns for the children, but then that doesn't bother you, does it. Your religions foster this impending catastrophe as they seek power and control...those with the most followers wins, especially if there is a "holy war."
NTA and I hate when parents do this. They are doing it to themselves and their kids. That's not right. Not every parent is like this, either. Sounds like this company has sweet vacation and sick day allowances a lot of people could only wish for.
Could she not have taken the vacation time unpaid....then the other people wouldn't have missed out on their own earned PTO.
Yes, and some companies let you go into negative accrual of vacation time. So you basically borrowing from next years budget.
Load More Replies...NTA, there's no reason in this or any universe to punish people who choose not to have children (or just haven't gotten there yet). She chose children, she gets to live with the consequences.
Yups. Also included are people who want children, but cannot/aren't able to have. It is extra-painful for them, as they really want kids, but now some jerk is rubbing it on their face that they can't have PTO as they don't have kids!
Load More Replies...Totally NTA. My brother died at the end of 2020. I was in a car wreck and out for 3 days and then, 3 weeks later, my mother died. My son had a hard time with the deaths and car accident (he was a passenger) and I had to take a few more days off to help him. So now it's the end of the year..I have about one day of PTO and no ability to take time off. Am I whining to my Co-Workers...no. I've been given the same amount they have...I have been able to take care of my family. If I don't get a vacation for several months...that's fine. It's called life and I have to deal with it. There's nobody else responsible for me. Now if it were a situation where the co-worker was going to have to take a lot of time off for cancer treatments or something...yeah...pony up a few days. But she can make it through one year without a vacation with her kids.
Anyone who pulls that "but my kids dreams are crushed" stuff because they can't plan is an entitled, gaslighting tool. Change my mind.
As a child-free person with ASD - I don't get the " parents are more tired" talk. HellNO they're not. Each human can get tired, parents do not own rights to be the only one tired. And also most people do not know others ilness story or neurodivergence profile, so kindly please fckoff of my free time, my childfree live and me overal, thank you. I can def be more tired than any neurotypical person ever will be.
No one should ever lord the fact that they have kids and you don't over you. I'd never give someone else my PTO unless they were a friend, and I definitely wouldn't tolerate someone guilting me into doing it. I might have considered it before the guilt trip "but I have kids and need it more than you" BS. I am glad it sounds like the whole situation worked out.
The most absurd, outrageous and entitled request/demand I've ever heard. Why not directly asking more money next? Anyway, a vacation day is equal is worth your salary per day.
I'm in the UK and, to be honest, this is beyond weird! The strange option to give other employees your holidays doesn't make any business sense, as it might lead to the most valuable member of staff effectively buying days from other workers and not being present when they need to be. Equally, if someone accumulates holidays it might seem good in the short term for the business, but then they could disappear for months??? Crazy!
Typically, I've only seen this don't if someone has an emergency. It's not really intended to be used for vacations or something not serious
Load More Replies...She doesn't owe that woman anything. To be honest, woman with children in this story does not sound as such great person as she tried to manipulate and guilt trip someone into giving up her own vacation days instead of just politely asking and accepting "no" as an answer. As I said she does not in any way owe that woman anything based on the fact she has children.
NTA, If a person has a child, it becomes their responsibility, NOT YOURS!
Sell her your days. Every day you give her you are working for free that day (as you could have got the same pay for no work).
The easiest thing is make it a simple transaction and get her to pay you for the day off. You shouldn’t be asked to work for free and she shouldn’t get paid to take the day off so it’s simple.
NTA. SHE chose to have kids, why is that your problem? You work just as hard as her, you deserve your time off. Childless people get just as exhausted as people with children, it's not an excuse to claim freebies off of childless people around you. She has a car, if she can't afford next months payment, is she going to expect her co-workers to pay for it? Your personal choices are your own, and are no one else's responsibility. You were unduly kind in giving your co-worker one of your vacation days, but it was absolutely unnecessary. This is her problem, not yours.
Giving paid holidays away to colleagues?? Never heard of. Your employer has to give you your holiday! Land of the free eh? And they say wearing a mask takes their freedom away (facepalm)
NTA. Putting aside companies not providing bereavement leave. Wanting kids is a choice. It comes with a commitment that basically takes over your life. Her kids, her problem.
Sooooo. Let me get this straight. If you are childless, you dont get tired or need paid time off? Wow!!! This co-worker needs a real swift kick in the ass to reset her brain. The OP was far more generous than I would have been after trying to guilt me into helping her. Using children as leverage to get what you want is sickening.
I'd like to add that people without children might care for others as well: a sick relative, an elderly parent...You don't know people's lives. Vacation days are necessary for your mental and physical health, not just for "extra things to do".
Whaaaat??? Childless people shouldn't pay for the mistakes or choices people with kids make. What kind of question or decision is this??? If it were me I would have just laughed in her face.... pssss.... I can't believe it..
Nope, nope and once again nope. Raising children is a choice, not an achievement. Childless women are not worth less than mothers. They even deserve more days off in my oppinion, because every time a coworker doesn't show up because of a sick child etc., the ones without children have to pick up the slack. And the thanks they get is no days off over the holidays (because christmas is for families with kids!), no days off during school summer break (because parents need that time!) et cetera.
You want to have kids, that's your choice. "My body, my choice." Right? The other lady has every right not to share her vacation allowance. Leave a box of condoms on the Karen's desk and call it a day.
Anyone who thinks because they have kids it makes them more special than anyone else, especially someone without, is an asshole. Full stop. Anyone that demands something from someone and their excuse is that because you wouldn't give it to them you ruined something, is an asshole. Full stop. It reminds me of all those choosing beggars posts about people getting something cheaply or for free only to demand delivery and/or an even lower prices and then blaming the seller/gifter for ruining something for their kids. Nobody owes you the world, assholes. Everyone's time is equally valuable. Just because you s**t out a bunch of kids doesn't mean everyone has to cater to you. It's entitlement and selfishness.
"after the pandemic".... I hope she's really REALLY patient, because the pandemic isn't ending anytime soon.
This reminds me of true story. A man was called to supervisors office because he would not buy a gift or participate in a coworkers baby shower. The man said "s**t I did not get her pregnant ". The nerve of supervisor and others expecting him to give of his own.
Let's look at this. She wants you to give her 6 days of pay. It doesn't matter the reason she used her time that's on her. Now she wants to party on your dime. "NO" . Don't feel guilty I would give her nothing for attitude and expectations.
Providing OP was willing she could offer her coworker to trade one vacation day for one day's pay. Vacation days are part of her salary and not freebies.
Well, let's turn this around. She has 3 kids, you have none. So if she feels entitled to your days, you may feel entitled to one of her kids. Right? So next time you plan a vacation, you demand one of her kids to join you. *tea*frog*
Oh hell no! You are not entitled to my vacation days just because your kids want a vacation. The kids were your choise to have.
Sure, take my days, the total, at $X.XX per day, is $XXX.XX. You are welcome.
NTA. Not having kids doesn't imply not having problems. I've(18M) already committed to myself that I'm not having kids because of my August 2013 childhood brain cancer diagnosis, my May 2020 epilepsy diagnosis, and all their side effects. I've bee through 15 months of chemotherapy in my past, and I had to visit the ER twice during just that period. And in case you're wondering, I live in the US.
The entitlement that some people feel when they have children is crazy to me. She doesn't know OP's situation, nor should she. Just because YOU decided to have children and someone else decides not to does not make them any more or less important. Yes the company is shitty with their vacation policy but beyond that the fact that this person feels entitled to YOUR time off is disgusting and it's unfortunate that she is going to raise her kids with that same sense of entitlement.
People f*****g suck. NTA. Her lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on your part.
I don't think people realize this is the equivalent of her demanding a full week of your salary. Because that's what it is. She can take extra time off, businesses will allow it and do it all the time, but it won't be *paid*. That's the audacity: she wants YOU to pay for her vacation out of your salary and benefits. If you wouldn't have a person a check for a day or week's pay, don't give them your extra PTO, because that's what you're actually doing.
Your days, not hers. Is she willing to pay you the cash value at your rate in return? If not, she is the world's greatest AH. Don't EVER give a coworker your paid time off. You are literally giving them your money to do with as they please. Unacceptable.
Expecting someone else to donate vacation days to you just because the company allows it is expecting an awful lot. I only get 15 paid days off each year after being at my job 21 years. I can either use my days for vacation or for sick days. If I take more than 15 days off they are unpaid, but I would still never expect a co-worker to donate their days off so I can take more.
NTA, that full-blown mom-Karen is for even daring to ask! It's not just time you are giving her as it is PTO. She is asking you to not just give 6 PTO fays of yours. She is asking you to give her 6 days of your pay!!! Did she at least offer to give you the money you are losing for those days? If not, she is a maximum self-entitles AH.
I find it very rude to even ask someone for a favor like that unless its a matter of life or death.She decides to have 3 kids on her living standards and the other person decides to not have any kids on the same living standard. Why should the childless one sacrifice her time off?
I had an assoc. that was going to be out for a pregnancy and wanted a donation of our time ,later a week or so she was overheard saying she was going to buy her husband a new motorcycle ,needless to say she got no donations.
You shouldn’t have given her a single day. She already pays less in income taxes than you do. She already gets welfare that you pay for (“child tax credits” ARE welfare). If you own property - your property taxes go to pay for her children’s schooling. Now she demands your hard-earned PTO too? What utter nonsense!!! Why don’t you give her your house too and go live in your garage?!
wow, and a nice move from the whole team even though the mother was TA
I notice a lot of people commented that she had to use vacation when her mom died. I think she should have had bereavement days to use for that and she should also have had family sick leave when her daughter was ill. I live in the US and I know employers have different leave models but really, it seems out of line. She could also have taken some of her vacation unpaid. Just a thought.
The main issue is the USA's concept of society. Life is long and hard. She has no kids but probably will have some. I hope when she is going through hell for her kids (others, yes kids are not your possessions they are new people you happen to be in charge, to a point, of) someone will help her. Sad just so sad how selfish and short sighted you all come across.
If you give her your days who does her job? Does everyone have the same job at the company? Why can't she take some un-paid leave or Ask about bereavement leave?
That's total BS...the company I work for allows us to do the same thing but it's handled by HR & anonymous so that there's no issues and they wouldn't let employees make the request unless it's for a legitimate illness or emergency. As far her kids go, she made that choice to have 3 kids...I didn't contribute to making them so why should I have to sacrifice what I earned for their vacation. She was a better person than me to donate a day cause I wouldn't even have donated a second.
Just say no, imagine the children of a mother who acts like this. Entitled to others labor, slave masters in waiting.
The company should have a system where - if PTO days can be given away , it is done anonymously and the amount of PTO an employee has - is not public, for anyone else to see anyone else’s accumulation. I also do not see how this current system where every employee can see each other’s cowerkers amount of accumulated PTO , is at all productive for the company’s culture.
Any country that allows giving vacation days to other people can’t be that great, especially regarding work ethic and safety. Where I live you can’t do that. But you can take days off unpaid, which would solve an issue like this, as long as you have enough money, or like in that post, people who give you their money...
It's not rocket science, if the time off is valuable, then the vacation days transferred have monetary or similar value. We're not commies, no one owns our labor. 1.5 days a month earned for vacation, perhaps about 100 bucks a day fair trade for most jobs. This is dumb
This employee feeling entitled to someone else's vacation time is bothersome to me. People like this is why you keep certain things private like your pay and vacation days. She feels so entitled that she was wanting 6 of her co-worker's days. Then blames her co-worker for crushing her children's dreams for saying no. This kind of manipulation would make me not want to ever give her anything. Eventually she'll feel entitled to something else.
Come To Australia and work for tafe !!! Six weeks of during the year and six weeks of at Christmas time !!!! So loving life
It's not her fault she has to use so many days, but it isn't yours either. Are you two that close? The thing that makes them the jerk, is that they're pressuring someone to give up something that they rightfully earned, JUST because yOu DOnt hAvE kIdS. You don't know this person's life. Maybe they have other things going on that they too, need the extra time off that they earned. And even if they don't, I HATE HATE HATE when parents try to leverage the fact that they opened their legs and spit out a crotch goblin, as an excuse why their life is harder, their problems matter more, and their wants should come before anyone else's. Screw that. Use all your vacation days and send them a picture from the beach.
The problem isn't either of these women. It's that once again, the USA pits human beings against each other in the fight to get appropriate leave, or medical care, or education, or anything else, instead of putting in place appropriate measures to ensure the rights of all its citizens.
This is what I love about Bored Panda people. That the company made it toxic and how many Pandas noticed that! What the heck is wrong with management to "put it on" employees to sort out vacation time? Logic tells us this is playing with fire. The actual policy should be after so much time is carried over it becomes a lump sum payout. Also if you think that life only comes along once, then maybe just take an unpaid few days and just go with your kids while they are young. Gee whiz...
I have 10 personal days and 5 sick days to use annually, and they don't accumulate, so not really sure what all the complaining is about?
I work in health care and we used to be able to donate our PTO to a colleague; they discontinued the policy a couple of years ago because of the potential for this kind of pressure by individuals on coworkers. It's really awful that anyone would even think about doing this, and it's too bad the hospital administration has to make a policy against it. I guy I know in IT who really just loves to work (not much else in his life, and he's FINE with that) really wanted to donate several weeks of PTO to a coworker who was having a difficult pregnancy; HR said no deal. Such a shame. Again the few spoil it for the many.
Whaaaat the f**k. How entitled can you be when you demand someone else's days off, that THEY have earned, just because you had unprotected sex and now dealing with the consequences. I would've told that lady to shove it. Now she's just going to come begging everytime she feels entitled to someone else's privileges. Do not enable this sick behaviour.
I would never, ever ask anyone for their vacation. Everyone deserves their vacation time and no one is entitled to someone else's.
some can be transfered to next year or they pay you those days but tax is like 50%
Is the unlimited sick time not able to be used for when she needs to care for a sick child? Also, do they not offer bereavement leave? Total b/s this employer leaves it up to the employees to give & take Vacation time. My old job they allowed employees to donate their time. But it wasn't for vacations. It was when the one employees time was exhausted due to being on leave for health issues (and yes maternity leave) and the employer would send an all company email out requesting donated leave for that person in need.
When you have kids, you must know that many of your vacation days will be spend because your kid is sick, hurt on the playground etc. No one is forced to give you anything. I'm a single mother and I have worked literally my a** off, even on my vacation days just to bring extra income (plus that I've spent many times a day off because I had to be present on court due to divorce issues). Never thought to ask for something like that or similar.
18 days paid leave? Is that standard? here (UK) the minimum is 28 days paid leave that includes 8 public holidays, so 4 weeks is the bare minimum. as an NHS worker with over 10 years service, I get 33 days plus 8 public holidays. The company is definitely the AH. Give people proper breaks and they will get sick less and be more productive.
again, faulty labour law... here minimum by law is 20 days (25 where I work) and you have to take them, can't give them to anyone because everyone deserves the same amount of free time... having kids was your choice, deal with it
oh and of course if your closest relative dies you get free time for the funeral, also by law
Load More Replies...No its wrong for her to guilt you that is wrong you earned your days and deserve them just as much
Living in the US is such a s**t show. Unbelievable that people there still think, they would be a great country. Germany: often about 30 days vacation, up to 72 weeks paid sick time and perks regarding support and additional free time for mothers and even PAID maternal leave
I have never heard of anyone where I work who gave anyone days unless they are someone in their immediate family had an extended illness. We aren't even allowed.
If social welfare is called for, it ought to be spread out across society or at least paid for by the company. You don't steal it from the wages of another.
It's her vacation time, she can choose what to do with it. That lady has no right to force her to giver her vacation days.
The notion that fellow employees should give up their earned time off when co-workers confront terrible life events is all wrong. The onus should be upon the employer who should have some compassion and give the employee compassionate leave (as we have in the UK and elsewhere in Europe) for such occasions. US employers are pretty inhuman from a European perspective.
So many things...the company offers vacation time but doesn't offer bereavement time for a brother? They offer unlimited sick time to the employee but it doesn't extend to immediate family? My biggest issue, however, is that people evidently have access to the amount of vacation their co-workers have? Either the company makes the information available, which is ridiculous, or employees keep track of other people's time off, which is extremely invasive and would make me hold on to my vacation time even more. I have donated vacation time when a co-worker was very ill but I wouldn't under any other circumstances. I earned it and am just as deserving as anyone else.
NTA. This system of donating days is the big A. You have your days, she has hers and she shouldn't use her holidays for the death of a brother either.
I'd happily sell my PTO, or give to someone of my choosing, not to a rando that thinks they "deserve" it more
Why is this even a discussion? I don't think it's in any way legal or possible to give someone else your vacation days.
It's very common in county and state government jobs, at least in Ohio
Load More Replies...Not sure the USA gets society, Karma, what goes around comes around etc. When she has kids and looks for help I hope she gets some because I'm not vengeful or a malicious person. Such bitterness. Sad. :(
Ah, the classic ‘I let a man ejaculate in me so everyone owes me’ scenario
Are you annoyed with Bored Panda, or am I interpreting your comment wrong?
Load More Replies...And your engaging with the content encourages them to make more of it. Don't like it? Keep your mouth shut next time.
Load More Replies...So you think people without kids should give their vacation time to people who do?
Load More Replies...Need? It wasn't a need. It was a want. The kids didn't need the vacation, they wanted it. If time isn't available, guess what kids, life's reality is that sometimes you can't have what you want when you want it. Sometimes you have to wait. A need would have been for an illness, or death in the family, or some kind of other emergency. That's a need. This is about a want.
Load More Replies...The main issue isn’t with either of the employees. A company that makes you use your holiday allowance when your brother dies is the problem. By allowing people to give their leave to other colleagues is essentially moving the issue to their employees rather than offering fair access to time off to their employees. The a hole is the company
I sort of agree with you, but surely " paid time off" is just that. Not necessarily for holidays , just time off work for whatever reason you choose. I think it was fine for the woman with kids to ask, but she definitely became TA when she started to guilt trip op for saying no.
Load More Replies...She shouldn't have even planned the vacation if she didn't have any time.
The real AH is the American system that doesn't give enough mandatory PTO and no days for a sick child or a relative's death. The secondary AH is the co-worker who thinks she is entitled to anything from her colleagues because she has children.
in Belgium we have 21 payed vacationdays a year (minimum) by law that you have to take. And lots of extra public holidays. totals around 27days
Load More Replies...NTA What is this about some people with children who think they have more rights than those without? That mother chose to have kids so it's her responsibility and not someone else's. Why do the childless have to give her stuff (day's) and ffs the mother then said "dreams are crushed" to guilt people in giving her their hard earned days. No friggin way. NTA
I have four kids. It would never even cross my mind to obligate others for my children. They're my kids and my responsibility, end of story. I'm so appalled by people who use their kids as a means to get what they want from other people. It's not healthy for the kids to use them as pawns like that.
Load More Replies...UK here. I never knew the scale of the USA's problem with workplace rights until I had to temporarily line-manage someone in our New York office. BOTH her parents went in to hospital with serious Covid and she rang me to say she would like to take her entire year's paid leave (which was only 26 days) to care for them. I said, nonsense, take as long as you need as compassionate leave and if it looks like it's going to be long term, I'll juggle the budget to get some temporary cover for you. She didn't believe me. She asked whether she would get paid during that time! She asked whether she would have to find her own cover and PAY them herself!! She asked whether she would be allowed to come back to the same job!! I couldn't believe how little protection workers in the US get. And this wasn't some poorly paid service job- this was a middle level administrator for a multi-national publishing company! Dystopian nightmare.
There is what is called Family and Medical Leave Act but it's not through your workplace; it's through the U.S. Department of Labor in the U.S. but it does not allow for a full year. It's 12 weeks. Currently, CALIFORNIA has a COVID 19 Supplemental Paid Sick leave but again, it's not for a full year. I do agree that the U.S. could do so much better especially toward it's elders.
Load More Replies...If going on a vacation with her kids was that important, she should just take unpaid days then. No one is obligated to give her theirs,
The only asshole here is the American system of time off. There is such a thing as compassionate leave in other countries, so the coworker needn't have used up her time off. I'd also have been tempted to tell the coworker that I needed the days off for several week long wild sex parties. :D
At my work, if you lose a parent or sibling I think it's one week, if it is your kid I think you get two, if anyone else dies and the funeral is out of town I think you get one. As if that's all the time you need to get over a loss.
Load More Replies...I love how some people with children feel they have a monopoly on being tired or that they deserve more vacation.
NTA, sounds like the problem was solved when she and other co-workers gave her a day each. Her suggestion that, "she's not that terrible," is generous at best. For her to accuse the OP that she crushed her children's dreams is terrible. I'm sick of people with kids thinking their time is the only time that matters.
Far too often people without kids are told they don't deserve as much in life as people who do have kids. I remember years ago a place that I worked gave holidays off to people with children as the first priority. Just because I don't have kids doesn't mean I don't have a family. Having kids isn't what MAKES a family. Me and a few others actually took it to management and got the habit squashed. That being said, it was very nice of her and some of her coworkers were each able to help a little. Help is so nice to give when you can, whether its to a mom or anyone else. I'm sure that mom appreciated it very much.
As a mom I'm sorry if you've ever felt pressured to oblige someone just because they had kids. People that makes you feel less important because you don't have kids should have some sense slapped into them. Having kids doesn't entitle anyone to special treatment. It's very compassionate for others to help parents juggle schedules, we should thank you not guilt you.
Load More Replies...I genuinely don't understand why people in the USA aren't marching in the streets for change to workplace rights. It sounds like some dystopian nightmare to the rest of the civilised world.
One thing people should understand about the US is that a lot of the employment laws are by state. The US is a federalist system of government, which means that anything not covered by the constitution is delegated to the states. Hence, the name the "United States". For example, some states require paid sick leave while others just fall under FMLA, which is federal and doesn't require pay just the time off. Some states require tipped employees to be given minimum wage plus tips, like Washington, while others don't. Honestly, some states are better to live in than others. In Oregon, for example, the time off the op's colleague took for her dead brother would've been considered bereavement leave separate from PTO. PTO is bundled leave (sick, vacation, mental health days, etc.) and also depends on state laws. Any leave given would have to be the same as or more generous than state laws, which also have to be the same or as generous as federal laws. It’s complicated.
Load More Replies...This kind of reminds me of a company where they expected the gay employee to work bank holidays/Christmas and New years day because THEY didn't have a family, they had a partner but that wasn't considered enough of a family....they no longer work for that company
If this happened, it's not the childless woman stirring up drama, it's her coworker. I've never heard of a company where you can transfer PTO days, though. Anyone?
Some companies allow it. Usually it's done for more pressing medical emergencies or someone getting time off for a death in the family after using up PTO but I guess it could be done for other situations as long as it's approved.
Load More Replies...I've actually been told that I should be willing to work Xmas and New Years because I don't have a family. What? Just because I don't have kids doesn't mean I don't have one. I had a mom and dad, sisters and brothers, their spouses and kids. That what's known as a family. Nurses who's kids may be sick get to call in all the time because they need to stay home to look after them. It's never a problem. One day, when my mom had been in the hospital and had been very sick and still weak. She was elderly. She was being discharged and I was working evening shift. I called to say I couldn't come in and why. Nope. You have to come in. She can take a cab and get settled herself. What???! I reminded the boss how it is ok for moms to call in about a child and be off. Well, today my mother is my child. Never had a problem again.
Since she succeeded in her quest to guilt trip her coworkers into giving her a benefit SHE DID NOT EARN, be prepared for her to return to the well repeatedly until she has stripped everyone of all their time off. I'm appalled at the spineless coworkers who caved to her successful extortion attempt. Motherhood is a choice and has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the number of vacation days that this person feels entitled to simply because she pushed out some kids.
If you would not give this person the equivalent number of dollars six days pay is, do not give her your days. Its the same thing. She's asking, not for days, but for money.
I was wondering this. Could op sell the days to the mom for what work would be paying op if she took them herself? (Only if op had no intention of using them.)
Load More Replies...NTA, She is for asking. It's not just time off. It's PAID time off. She is asking you for 6 days of your pay!!! Who the heck dares to feel so entitled as to ask a coworker to give them a week+ of their pay? No one is entitled to anything that belongs to someone else, ever. She sounds like the worst kind of coworker #Karen.
My husband gladly donated a day or two of his vacation time to a coworker who needed surgery and had used their sick time. This is very different. This is someone feeling they're entitled to what's the OP's.
More "Entitled" B.S...Not having a child is not a crime....I have 4. .
No. Absolutely NTA. Childless people owe nothing to parents. I'm a mum and yes it's exhausting and I feel sorry for the loss of the colleague's brother, but still... How horribly selfish do you have to be to guilt someone this way?! This is not a parent trait but a personality trait and I bet that lady behaved that way before becoming a parent.
Our system already subsidizes heterofornicators who have chosen to have children, at the expense of those of us who either don't or can't. It's unfair to demand more out of the rest of us, more than what the government already demands of us, because of your lifestyle choice. You bellow that it is necessary to procreate without boundaries, for the benefit of society and the economy. Bullshit!!! The Earth can only sustain a certain population comfortably, after which the quality of life progressively decreases for the inhabitants, and this is not equitably shared. So, as you selfishly pork out child after child, demanding the rest of us to subsidize your selfish obsession/perversion, your very actions are contributing to a world of diminishing returns for the children, but then that doesn't bother you, does it. Your religions foster this impending catastrophe as they seek power and control...those with the most followers wins, especially if there is a "holy war."
NTA and I hate when parents do this. They are doing it to themselves and their kids. That's not right. Not every parent is like this, either. Sounds like this company has sweet vacation and sick day allowances a lot of people could only wish for.
Could she not have taken the vacation time unpaid....then the other people wouldn't have missed out on their own earned PTO.
Yes, and some companies let you go into negative accrual of vacation time. So you basically borrowing from next years budget.
Load More Replies...NTA, there's no reason in this or any universe to punish people who choose not to have children (or just haven't gotten there yet). She chose children, she gets to live with the consequences.
Yups. Also included are people who want children, but cannot/aren't able to have. It is extra-painful for them, as they really want kids, but now some jerk is rubbing it on their face that they can't have PTO as they don't have kids!
Load More Replies...Totally NTA. My brother died at the end of 2020. I was in a car wreck and out for 3 days and then, 3 weeks later, my mother died. My son had a hard time with the deaths and car accident (he was a passenger) and I had to take a few more days off to help him. So now it's the end of the year..I have about one day of PTO and no ability to take time off. Am I whining to my Co-Workers...no. I've been given the same amount they have...I have been able to take care of my family. If I don't get a vacation for several months...that's fine. It's called life and I have to deal with it. There's nobody else responsible for me. Now if it were a situation where the co-worker was going to have to take a lot of time off for cancer treatments or something...yeah...pony up a few days. But she can make it through one year without a vacation with her kids.
Anyone who pulls that "but my kids dreams are crushed" stuff because they can't plan is an entitled, gaslighting tool. Change my mind.
As a child-free person with ASD - I don't get the " parents are more tired" talk. HellNO they're not. Each human can get tired, parents do not own rights to be the only one tired. And also most people do not know others ilness story or neurodivergence profile, so kindly please fckoff of my free time, my childfree live and me overal, thank you. I can def be more tired than any neurotypical person ever will be.
No one should ever lord the fact that they have kids and you don't over you. I'd never give someone else my PTO unless they were a friend, and I definitely wouldn't tolerate someone guilting me into doing it. I might have considered it before the guilt trip "but I have kids and need it more than you" BS. I am glad it sounds like the whole situation worked out.
The most absurd, outrageous and entitled request/demand I've ever heard. Why not directly asking more money next? Anyway, a vacation day is equal is worth your salary per day.
I'm in the UK and, to be honest, this is beyond weird! The strange option to give other employees your holidays doesn't make any business sense, as it might lead to the most valuable member of staff effectively buying days from other workers and not being present when they need to be. Equally, if someone accumulates holidays it might seem good in the short term for the business, but then they could disappear for months??? Crazy!
Typically, I've only seen this don't if someone has an emergency. It's not really intended to be used for vacations or something not serious
Load More Replies...She doesn't owe that woman anything. To be honest, woman with children in this story does not sound as such great person as she tried to manipulate and guilt trip someone into giving up her own vacation days instead of just politely asking and accepting "no" as an answer. As I said she does not in any way owe that woman anything based on the fact she has children.
NTA, If a person has a child, it becomes their responsibility, NOT YOURS!
Sell her your days. Every day you give her you are working for free that day (as you could have got the same pay for no work).
The easiest thing is make it a simple transaction and get her to pay you for the day off. You shouldn’t be asked to work for free and she shouldn’t get paid to take the day off so it’s simple.
NTA. SHE chose to have kids, why is that your problem? You work just as hard as her, you deserve your time off. Childless people get just as exhausted as people with children, it's not an excuse to claim freebies off of childless people around you. She has a car, if she can't afford next months payment, is she going to expect her co-workers to pay for it? Your personal choices are your own, and are no one else's responsibility. You were unduly kind in giving your co-worker one of your vacation days, but it was absolutely unnecessary. This is her problem, not yours.
Giving paid holidays away to colleagues?? Never heard of. Your employer has to give you your holiday! Land of the free eh? And they say wearing a mask takes their freedom away (facepalm)
NTA. Putting aside companies not providing bereavement leave. Wanting kids is a choice. It comes with a commitment that basically takes over your life. Her kids, her problem.
Sooooo. Let me get this straight. If you are childless, you dont get tired or need paid time off? Wow!!! This co-worker needs a real swift kick in the ass to reset her brain. The OP was far more generous than I would have been after trying to guilt me into helping her. Using children as leverage to get what you want is sickening.
I'd like to add that people without children might care for others as well: a sick relative, an elderly parent...You don't know people's lives. Vacation days are necessary for your mental and physical health, not just for "extra things to do".
Whaaaat??? Childless people shouldn't pay for the mistakes or choices people with kids make. What kind of question or decision is this??? If it were me I would have just laughed in her face.... pssss.... I can't believe it..
Nope, nope and once again nope. Raising children is a choice, not an achievement. Childless women are not worth less than mothers. They even deserve more days off in my oppinion, because every time a coworker doesn't show up because of a sick child etc., the ones without children have to pick up the slack. And the thanks they get is no days off over the holidays (because christmas is for families with kids!), no days off during school summer break (because parents need that time!) et cetera.
You want to have kids, that's your choice. "My body, my choice." Right? The other lady has every right not to share her vacation allowance. Leave a box of condoms on the Karen's desk and call it a day.
Anyone who thinks because they have kids it makes them more special than anyone else, especially someone without, is an asshole. Full stop. Anyone that demands something from someone and their excuse is that because you wouldn't give it to them you ruined something, is an asshole. Full stop. It reminds me of all those choosing beggars posts about people getting something cheaply or for free only to demand delivery and/or an even lower prices and then blaming the seller/gifter for ruining something for their kids. Nobody owes you the world, assholes. Everyone's time is equally valuable. Just because you s**t out a bunch of kids doesn't mean everyone has to cater to you. It's entitlement and selfishness.
"after the pandemic".... I hope she's really REALLY patient, because the pandemic isn't ending anytime soon.
This reminds me of true story. A man was called to supervisors office because he would not buy a gift or participate in a coworkers baby shower. The man said "s**t I did not get her pregnant ". The nerve of supervisor and others expecting him to give of his own.
Let's look at this. She wants you to give her 6 days of pay. It doesn't matter the reason she used her time that's on her. Now she wants to party on your dime. "NO" . Don't feel guilty I would give her nothing for attitude and expectations.
Providing OP was willing she could offer her coworker to trade one vacation day for one day's pay. Vacation days are part of her salary and not freebies.
Well, let's turn this around. She has 3 kids, you have none. So if she feels entitled to your days, you may feel entitled to one of her kids. Right? So next time you plan a vacation, you demand one of her kids to join you. *tea*frog*
Oh hell no! You are not entitled to my vacation days just because your kids want a vacation. The kids were your choise to have.
Sure, take my days, the total, at $X.XX per day, is $XXX.XX. You are welcome.
NTA. Not having kids doesn't imply not having problems. I've(18M) already committed to myself that I'm not having kids because of my August 2013 childhood brain cancer diagnosis, my May 2020 epilepsy diagnosis, and all their side effects. I've bee through 15 months of chemotherapy in my past, and I had to visit the ER twice during just that period. And in case you're wondering, I live in the US.
The entitlement that some people feel when they have children is crazy to me. She doesn't know OP's situation, nor should she. Just because YOU decided to have children and someone else decides not to does not make them any more or less important. Yes the company is shitty with their vacation policy but beyond that the fact that this person feels entitled to YOUR time off is disgusting and it's unfortunate that she is going to raise her kids with that same sense of entitlement.
People f*****g suck. NTA. Her lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on your part.
I don't think people realize this is the equivalent of her demanding a full week of your salary. Because that's what it is. She can take extra time off, businesses will allow it and do it all the time, but it won't be *paid*. That's the audacity: she wants YOU to pay for her vacation out of your salary and benefits. If you wouldn't have a person a check for a day or week's pay, don't give them your extra PTO, because that's what you're actually doing.
Your days, not hers. Is she willing to pay you the cash value at your rate in return? If not, she is the world's greatest AH. Don't EVER give a coworker your paid time off. You are literally giving them your money to do with as they please. Unacceptable.
Expecting someone else to donate vacation days to you just because the company allows it is expecting an awful lot. I only get 15 paid days off each year after being at my job 21 years. I can either use my days for vacation or for sick days. If I take more than 15 days off they are unpaid, but I would still never expect a co-worker to donate their days off so I can take more.
NTA, that full-blown mom-Karen is for even daring to ask! It's not just time you are giving her as it is PTO. She is asking you to not just give 6 PTO fays of yours. She is asking you to give her 6 days of your pay!!! Did she at least offer to give you the money you are losing for those days? If not, she is a maximum self-entitles AH.
I find it very rude to even ask someone for a favor like that unless its a matter of life or death.She decides to have 3 kids on her living standards and the other person decides to not have any kids on the same living standard. Why should the childless one sacrifice her time off?
I had an assoc. that was going to be out for a pregnancy and wanted a donation of our time ,later a week or so she was overheard saying she was going to buy her husband a new motorcycle ,needless to say she got no donations.
You shouldn’t have given her a single day. She already pays less in income taxes than you do. She already gets welfare that you pay for (“child tax credits” ARE welfare). If you own property - your property taxes go to pay for her children’s schooling. Now she demands your hard-earned PTO too? What utter nonsense!!! Why don’t you give her your house too and go live in your garage?!
wow, and a nice move from the whole team even though the mother was TA
I notice a lot of people commented that she had to use vacation when her mom died. I think she should have had bereavement days to use for that and she should also have had family sick leave when her daughter was ill. I live in the US and I know employers have different leave models but really, it seems out of line. She could also have taken some of her vacation unpaid. Just a thought.
The main issue is the USA's concept of society. Life is long and hard. She has no kids but probably will have some. I hope when she is going through hell for her kids (others, yes kids are not your possessions they are new people you happen to be in charge, to a point, of) someone will help her. Sad just so sad how selfish and short sighted you all come across.
If you give her your days who does her job? Does everyone have the same job at the company? Why can't she take some un-paid leave or Ask about bereavement leave?
That's total BS...the company I work for allows us to do the same thing but it's handled by HR & anonymous so that there's no issues and they wouldn't let employees make the request unless it's for a legitimate illness or emergency. As far her kids go, she made that choice to have 3 kids...I didn't contribute to making them so why should I have to sacrifice what I earned for their vacation. She was a better person than me to donate a day cause I wouldn't even have donated a second.
Just say no, imagine the children of a mother who acts like this. Entitled to others labor, slave masters in waiting.
The company should have a system where - if PTO days can be given away , it is done anonymously and the amount of PTO an employee has - is not public, for anyone else to see anyone else’s accumulation. I also do not see how this current system where every employee can see each other’s cowerkers amount of accumulated PTO , is at all productive for the company’s culture.
Any country that allows giving vacation days to other people can’t be that great, especially regarding work ethic and safety. Where I live you can’t do that. But you can take days off unpaid, which would solve an issue like this, as long as you have enough money, or like in that post, people who give you their money...
It's not rocket science, if the time off is valuable, then the vacation days transferred have monetary or similar value. We're not commies, no one owns our labor. 1.5 days a month earned for vacation, perhaps about 100 bucks a day fair trade for most jobs. This is dumb
This employee feeling entitled to someone else's vacation time is bothersome to me. People like this is why you keep certain things private like your pay and vacation days. She feels so entitled that she was wanting 6 of her co-worker's days. Then blames her co-worker for crushing her children's dreams for saying no. This kind of manipulation would make me not want to ever give her anything. Eventually she'll feel entitled to something else.
Come To Australia and work for tafe !!! Six weeks of during the year and six weeks of at Christmas time !!!! So loving life
It's not her fault she has to use so many days, but it isn't yours either. Are you two that close? The thing that makes them the jerk, is that they're pressuring someone to give up something that they rightfully earned, JUST because yOu DOnt hAvE kIdS. You don't know this person's life. Maybe they have other things going on that they too, need the extra time off that they earned. And even if they don't, I HATE HATE HATE when parents try to leverage the fact that they opened their legs and spit out a crotch goblin, as an excuse why their life is harder, their problems matter more, and their wants should come before anyone else's. Screw that. Use all your vacation days and send them a picture from the beach.
The problem isn't either of these women. It's that once again, the USA pits human beings against each other in the fight to get appropriate leave, or medical care, or education, or anything else, instead of putting in place appropriate measures to ensure the rights of all its citizens.
This is what I love about Bored Panda people. That the company made it toxic and how many Pandas noticed that! What the heck is wrong with management to "put it on" employees to sort out vacation time? Logic tells us this is playing with fire. The actual policy should be after so much time is carried over it becomes a lump sum payout. Also if you think that life only comes along once, then maybe just take an unpaid few days and just go with your kids while they are young. Gee whiz...
I have 10 personal days and 5 sick days to use annually, and they don't accumulate, so not really sure what all the complaining is about?
I work in health care and we used to be able to donate our PTO to a colleague; they discontinued the policy a couple of years ago because of the potential for this kind of pressure by individuals on coworkers. It's really awful that anyone would even think about doing this, and it's too bad the hospital administration has to make a policy against it. I guy I know in IT who really just loves to work (not much else in his life, and he's FINE with that) really wanted to donate several weeks of PTO to a coworker who was having a difficult pregnancy; HR said no deal. Such a shame. Again the few spoil it for the many.
Whaaaat the f**k. How entitled can you be when you demand someone else's days off, that THEY have earned, just because you had unprotected sex and now dealing with the consequences. I would've told that lady to shove it. Now she's just going to come begging everytime she feels entitled to someone else's privileges. Do not enable this sick behaviour.
I would never, ever ask anyone for their vacation. Everyone deserves their vacation time and no one is entitled to someone else's.
some can be transfered to next year or they pay you those days but tax is like 50%
Is the unlimited sick time not able to be used for when she needs to care for a sick child? Also, do they not offer bereavement leave? Total b/s this employer leaves it up to the employees to give & take Vacation time. My old job they allowed employees to donate their time. But it wasn't for vacations. It was when the one employees time was exhausted due to being on leave for health issues (and yes maternity leave) and the employer would send an all company email out requesting donated leave for that person in need.
When you have kids, you must know that many of your vacation days will be spend because your kid is sick, hurt on the playground etc. No one is forced to give you anything. I'm a single mother and I have worked literally my a** off, even on my vacation days just to bring extra income (plus that I've spent many times a day off because I had to be present on court due to divorce issues). Never thought to ask for something like that or similar.
18 days paid leave? Is that standard? here (UK) the minimum is 28 days paid leave that includes 8 public holidays, so 4 weeks is the bare minimum. as an NHS worker with over 10 years service, I get 33 days plus 8 public holidays. The company is definitely the AH. Give people proper breaks and they will get sick less and be more productive.
again, faulty labour law... here minimum by law is 20 days (25 where I work) and you have to take them, can't give them to anyone because everyone deserves the same amount of free time... having kids was your choice, deal with it
oh and of course if your closest relative dies you get free time for the funeral, also by law
Load More Replies...No its wrong for her to guilt you that is wrong you earned your days and deserve them just as much
Living in the US is such a s**t show. Unbelievable that people there still think, they would be a great country. Germany: often about 30 days vacation, up to 72 weeks paid sick time and perks regarding support and additional free time for mothers and even PAID maternal leave
I have never heard of anyone where I work who gave anyone days unless they are someone in their immediate family had an extended illness. We aren't even allowed.
If social welfare is called for, it ought to be spread out across society or at least paid for by the company. You don't steal it from the wages of another.
It's her vacation time, she can choose what to do with it. That lady has no right to force her to giver her vacation days.
The notion that fellow employees should give up their earned time off when co-workers confront terrible life events is all wrong. The onus should be upon the employer who should have some compassion and give the employee compassionate leave (as we have in the UK and elsewhere in Europe) for such occasions. US employers are pretty inhuman from a European perspective.
So many things...the company offers vacation time but doesn't offer bereavement time for a brother? They offer unlimited sick time to the employee but it doesn't extend to immediate family? My biggest issue, however, is that people evidently have access to the amount of vacation their co-workers have? Either the company makes the information available, which is ridiculous, or employees keep track of other people's time off, which is extremely invasive and would make me hold on to my vacation time even more. I have donated vacation time when a co-worker was very ill but I wouldn't under any other circumstances. I earned it and am just as deserving as anyone else.
NTA. This system of donating days is the big A. You have your days, she has hers and she shouldn't use her holidays for the death of a brother either.
I'd happily sell my PTO, or give to someone of my choosing, not to a rando that thinks they "deserve" it more
Why is this even a discussion? I don't think it's in any way legal or possible to give someone else your vacation days.
It's very common in county and state government jobs, at least in Ohio
Load More Replies...Not sure the USA gets society, Karma, what goes around comes around etc. When she has kids and looks for help I hope she gets some because I'm not vengeful or a malicious person. Such bitterness. Sad. :(
Ah, the classic ‘I let a man ejaculate in me so everyone owes me’ scenario
Are you annoyed with Bored Panda, or am I interpreting your comment wrong?
Load More Replies...And your engaging with the content encourages them to make more of it. Don't like it? Keep your mouth shut next time.
Load More Replies...So you think people without kids should give their vacation time to people who do?
Load More Replies...Need? It wasn't a need. It was a want. The kids didn't need the vacation, they wanted it. If time isn't available, guess what kids, life's reality is that sometimes you can't have what you want when you want it. Sometimes you have to wait. A need would have been for an illness, or death in the family, or some kind of other emergency. That's a need. This is about a want.
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