Man Turns His Back On Cheating Ex And Her Baby After DNA Test Results: “She’s On Her Own”
There is no justification for choosing to cheat; it is a decision that one makes. And no matter how many times you apologize, it’s difficult to trust someone again after they’ve been disloyal.
A man, for instance, shared online how he struggled to believe his ex-girlfriend when she told him she was pregnant with his child. The guy explained how they had a great relationship until he discovered she had been cheating on him. The author sought advice online after the girl and her family tried convincing him to cover her maternity expenses.
- Man discovers ex-girlfriend's cheating and questions paternity when she claims he's the father of her baby.
- He sets clear boundaries: agrees to cover maternity expenses only after a DNA test confirms he's the father.
- DNA test reveals he is not the father, leading him to refuse financial support for the child and turn his back on the ex.
Pregnancy can be costly, involving significant expenses for prenatal care, delivery, and postnatal support
Image credits: voronaman111 (not the actual photo)
A man shared how he agreed to pay his cheating ex’s maternity expenses but only after a DNA test
Image credits: shotprime (not the actual photo)
The author even decided to hire a lawyer as his ex kept pestering him
Image source: MansuMansa
He also mentioned how his ex was falsely claiming to others that he was the father of the child
The cost of giving birth varies significantly depending on where you live
Image credits: Oleskandra Biliak (not the actual photo)
Bringing life into the world is not only a joyous and fulfilling experience but also an expensive one. For instance, giving birth in the US costs $18,865 on average, according to the Peterson-Kaiser Family Foundation Health System Tracker. This includes the pregnancy, delivery and postpartum care.
Many couples try to achieve financial stability before starting a family. However, the true cost of giving birth can vastly vary depending on many factors, like where you live and what type of birth you have.
As per a 2022 report by Coyne College, having a baby in the UK can cost around $4,500. In many European countries, there is a universal healthcare system that often covers a significant portion of maternity costs, which reduces the expenses for families. The cost of giving birth in Germany and France was a little over $2,500 in 2022.
For a typical delivery in Australia, couples spend an average of $5,312. In South Africa, delivery costs around $1,200. Additionally, in the US, out-of-pocket expenses can also get quite costly. Now, if you decide to have a vaginal delivery, the spending can be around $2,655. However, if there are complications, this amount might be more. A cesarean birth is more expensive and the out-of-pocket cost can be around $3,214. If you choose to have a home birth, the average cost is around $4,650.
A home birth involves finding a skilled midwife
Image credits: By Rido81 (not the actual photo)
In this particular incident, the woman chose to give birth at home. She also found a midwife and a doula for herself. Usually, midwives charge anywhere between $3,000 to $9,000. Their fee typically covers all prenatal and postpartum care. They also look after the newborn.
Depending on the service, the midwife also assists with the home birth by providing continuous support during labor and delivery. Prior to the delivery, the midwife also gives a list of things to buy to ensure the environment is safe and equipped for the birthing process.
Some of the items included are basic cleaning supplies, clean bed sheets, old towels, washcloths and large plastic sheets or shower curtains. You also need to buy a birth kit, which includes sterile gloves, gauze pads, cord clamps and scissors.
Additionally, a midwife recommends hiring a birth doula, a skilled individual who supports you by offering emotional and physical support before, during, and following labor. And while a doula’s fee varies based on where you live, it can range from several hundred to several thousand dollars.
On top of that, you also need to pay for your ultrasounds and other medical expenses or birth supplies. Apart from all these, families also have to spend money on essentials like maternity clothes, baby products, and diapers, among other things. All these costs can add up quickly.
The expenses related to giving birth can really add up. Do you think it was fair for the woman to expect 40k from her ex, especially since the child wasn’t his? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Many online strongly believed that the author shouldn’t be responsible for any expenses
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40K to raise a child which isn't his??? OP should just Dean Ambrose NOPE them and move on with your life. She made her bed of thorns and now she and her illegitimate child have to sleep in it. Lawyer up and make sure she gets served enough libel/slander humble pie to leave the bitter aftertaste of cheating in her mouth. SMH!!!
Insisting on the 40k is a genius move. 1 - She gets money. 2 - It's not even the end of it, as you KNOW she will be back every month or so for "...but formula is so expensive, more money, just this once", etc. 3 (the genius move that's not immediately always obvious) - It potentially gives her a massive big stick to beat him legally as he could be seen to be admitting some responsibility for the child.
Load More Replies...None of this is his problem - cut contact, do not pay a single cent & of course NTA
Of course NTA. I am sorry for the heartache you went through. It looks like you dodged a real bullet who would have burnt your money for the rest of your lives. She's living as "wife #2" with affair partner and his girlfriend , yet hires a doula even though he's right there. You mention she's already messed up her finances before pregnancy. And the family who raised her with these excellent sense of financial responsibility and basic morals? Yes of course you should be guided by them as to what to do. As in guided exactly the OPPOSITE direction.
The father isn't the man she currently lives with (along with his gf), it was his friend
Load More Replies...He should rent a billboard: ATTENTION! DNA test says so+so's baby is NOT mine. Thank you. and OP's name :) Various women have used billboards to out their cheating husbands. :)
I really hope he's NOT in a state where they don't care about DNA & only care about who she put down as the father.
Okay, you obs nta - but I don't get the reference to his g'dad dying when he was young - why does his family struggle from this now and what has that got to do with this story?
I assume that he means that it's because he was rendered fatherless himself and knows the struggle it can entail , he was especially vulnerable to being blackmailed with the prospect of having his own child fatherless too.
Load More Replies...What lunatic would DO this? Try and pass off a kid as being someone’s it isn’t? Not not only can it be easily contested - because DNA - it’s an absolutely monstrous thing to do. The woman is a sociopath.
I have a friend who voluntarily took responsibility for a child he thought was his. When he found out at the age of 4 that his "son" was not biologically his, he tried to get his name off the birth certificate, and the state wouldn't let him. Their argument was that he was the only father the child knows. He ended up paying 18 years of child support for a kid that DNA proved wasn't his. Guys, if you have any doubts about the paternity, get a test. Don't be the victim.
That nothing. My roommate is still paying child support for a child he never met and can't have fathered because he lacks the ability to. However because the mother put his name on the birth certificate California says he's the father
Load More Replies...I had state insurance and for both births had trained doulas and midwives, too. Because a lot of L&D departments have nurses who also have training in both. She probably didn't even look into what her local hospitals provide before setting that up. What an immature and irresponsible thing to do. You can have a good non medicated hippie-dippie birth experience without paying extra and putting your baby and health at risk.
She didn't care, she was not going to be paying for it. The scale tipped when he told her he would cover the costs after the kid was determined to be his.
Load More Replies...NTA, but what is it with all those other people, including her family saying he should step up? That's delusional thinking. Op was smart to lawyer up before she tries anything shady.
Have her arrested for attempted fraud. This will put a permanent stop to any attempt by her to get money from you for the baby. You'll be on the record asserting you're not the father.
He has to lawyer up with a DNA test proving he's not the father ..yeah he's fine.
He also needs lawyer to threaten gf's family with slander lawsuit if they keep spreading rumors that his is the father / deadbeat dad.
Load More Replies...My son's gf had a baby and she says it's his but I am suspicious. I persuaded my son to get a saliva swab to test the DNA. I don't trust her and I am trying to protect my son.
This should have been in “truth off your chest” thread, obviously he didn’t need any judgement.
Absolutely NTA. However, I have to call out my old man here. My mother cheated on her husband with my Biodad. Knowing that my mother would abort me, (my biodad had already given her the money to go through with it) her husband, (the man that I call my father) told her that he and his family would raise me as their own. I owe literally everything to that man and my family. Without whom, I would have never existed.
HOW do these women think they'll get away with this s**t? DNA testing has been around for about 50 years!
I'm a woman, I can't fathom the kind of mentality that does that. It's horribly unfair to the child long-term, and that child has the right to know their real father. The guy is NTA, why should he pay for her when she broke the agreement to be exclusive with him? I feel bad for any man caught in these kinds of traps. She's responsible for her own actions. I hope he makes public to all his friends that he isn't the father. They will then understand what she is.
I don't know where you get the cost of delivering a child in the UK. It doesn't cost anything, it all comes out of taxes/National Insurance.
They never said nationality however if they did occur those expenses it's most likely US
Load More Replies...Don't blame him!, since when do you have to pay for a child that isn't yours, unless you choose too!
Should never have left the door open for her to pursue this. Pretty clear that she couldn't be trusted from the start. I applaud your desire to help if the kid turned out to be yours, but now that you officially know it's not, you are obligated to nothing.
If he had to lawyer up, I’d push that not only is she on the hook for her unnecessary birthing expenses, but also the lawyer he had to pay for because she is a sad psycho.
He's not the father, nor is he the AH. Does BP even try to proof these articles? Whew, the grammar and sentence structure are rough.
Does she not have insurance at all? Also, as a retired doula, I can tell you the midwife/doula combined shouldn't be more than 10k, and possibly even well below that, depending on where they are. I don't know how things are now, but the center I worked with would deduct part of both the midwife and doula fee if a homebirth had to be moved to the hospital--which was extremely rare.
Baby came early, she was rushed to hospital for an emergency c-section with hospital stay. I'm pretty sure that's that's where the cost increased from the original midwife/doula.
Load More Replies...No one should be required to pay for a child that isn't theirs
Load More Replies...Ask an obvious, rage-inducing question on Reddit's AITA, give half-ässed non-committal responses to a handful of comments, collect the karma and wind up on BoredPanda. Are ANY of these stories even verified?
40K to raise a child which isn't his??? OP should just Dean Ambrose NOPE them and move on with your life. She made her bed of thorns and now she and her illegitimate child have to sleep in it. Lawyer up and make sure she gets served enough libel/slander humble pie to leave the bitter aftertaste of cheating in her mouth. SMH!!!
Insisting on the 40k is a genius move. 1 - She gets money. 2 - It's not even the end of it, as you KNOW she will be back every month or so for "...but formula is so expensive, more money, just this once", etc. 3 (the genius move that's not immediately always obvious) - It potentially gives her a massive big stick to beat him legally as he could be seen to be admitting some responsibility for the child.
Load More Replies...None of this is his problem - cut contact, do not pay a single cent & of course NTA
Of course NTA. I am sorry for the heartache you went through. It looks like you dodged a real bullet who would have burnt your money for the rest of your lives. She's living as "wife #2" with affair partner and his girlfriend , yet hires a doula even though he's right there. You mention she's already messed up her finances before pregnancy. And the family who raised her with these excellent sense of financial responsibility and basic morals? Yes of course you should be guided by them as to what to do. As in guided exactly the OPPOSITE direction.
The father isn't the man she currently lives with (along with his gf), it was his friend
Load More Replies...He should rent a billboard: ATTENTION! DNA test says so+so's baby is NOT mine. Thank you. and OP's name :) Various women have used billboards to out their cheating husbands. :)
I really hope he's NOT in a state where they don't care about DNA & only care about who she put down as the father.
Okay, you obs nta - but I don't get the reference to his g'dad dying when he was young - why does his family struggle from this now and what has that got to do with this story?
I assume that he means that it's because he was rendered fatherless himself and knows the struggle it can entail , he was especially vulnerable to being blackmailed with the prospect of having his own child fatherless too.
Load More Replies...What lunatic would DO this? Try and pass off a kid as being someone’s it isn’t? Not not only can it be easily contested - because DNA - it’s an absolutely monstrous thing to do. The woman is a sociopath.
I have a friend who voluntarily took responsibility for a child he thought was his. When he found out at the age of 4 that his "son" was not biologically his, he tried to get his name off the birth certificate, and the state wouldn't let him. Their argument was that he was the only father the child knows. He ended up paying 18 years of child support for a kid that DNA proved wasn't his. Guys, if you have any doubts about the paternity, get a test. Don't be the victim.
That nothing. My roommate is still paying child support for a child he never met and can't have fathered because he lacks the ability to. However because the mother put his name on the birth certificate California says he's the father
Load More Replies...I had state insurance and for both births had trained doulas and midwives, too. Because a lot of L&D departments have nurses who also have training in both. She probably didn't even look into what her local hospitals provide before setting that up. What an immature and irresponsible thing to do. You can have a good non medicated hippie-dippie birth experience without paying extra and putting your baby and health at risk.
She didn't care, she was not going to be paying for it. The scale tipped when he told her he would cover the costs after the kid was determined to be his.
Load More Replies...NTA, but what is it with all those other people, including her family saying he should step up? That's delusional thinking. Op was smart to lawyer up before she tries anything shady.
Have her arrested for attempted fraud. This will put a permanent stop to any attempt by her to get money from you for the baby. You'll be on the record asserting you're not the father.
He has to lawyer up with a DNA test proving he's not the father ..yeah he's fine.
He also needs lawyer to threaten gf's family with slander lawsuit if they keep spreading rumors that his is the father / deadbeat dad.
Load More Replies...My son's gf had a baby and she says it's his but I am suspicious. I persuaded my son to get a saliva swab to test the DNA. I don't trust her and I am trying to protect my son.
This should have been in “truth off your chest” thread, obviously he didn’t need any judgement.
Absolutely NTA. However, I have to call out my old man here. My mother cheated on her husband with my Biodad. Knowing that my mother would abort me, (my biodad had already given her the money to go through with it) her husband, (the man that I call my father) told her that he and his family would raise me as their own. I owe literally everything to that man and my family. Without whom, I would have never existed.
HOW do these women think they'll get away with this s**t? DNA testing has been around for about 50 years!
I'm a woman, I can't fathom the kind of mentality that does that. It's horribly unfair to the child long-term, and that child has the right to know their real father. The guy is NTA, why should he pay for her when she broke the agreement to be exclusive with him? I feel bad for any man caught in these kinds of traps. She's responsible for her own actions. I hope he makes public to all his friends that he isn't the father. They will then understand what she is.
I don't know where you get the cost of delivering a child in the UK. It doesn't cost anything, it all comes out of taxes/National Insurance.
They never said nationality however if they did occur those expenses it's most likely US
Load More Replies...Don't blame him!, since when do you have to pay for a child that isn't yours, unless you choose too!
Should never have left the door open for her to pursue this. Pretty clear that she couldn't be trusted from the start. I applaud your desire to help if the kid turned out to be yours, but now that you officially know it's not, you are obligated to nothing.
If he had to lawyer up, I’d push that not only is she on the hook for her unnecessary birthing expenses, but also the lawyer he had to pay for because she is a sad psycho.
He's not the father, nor is he the AH. Does BP even try to proof these articles? Whew, the grammar and sentence structure are rough.
Does she not have insurance at all? Also, as a retired doula, I can tell you the midwife/doula combined shouldn't be more than 10k, and possibly even well below that, depending on where they are. I don't know how things are now, but the center I worked with would deduct part of both the midwife and doula fee if a homebirth had to be moved to the hospital--which was extremely rare.
Baby came early, she was rushed to hospital for an emergency c-section with hospital stay. I'm pretty sure that's that's where the cost increased from the original midwife/doula.
Load More Replies...No one should be required to pay for a child that isn't theirs
Load More Replies...Ask an obvious, rage-inducing question on Reddit's AITA, give half-ässed non-committal responses to a handful of comments, collect the karma and wind up on BoredPanda. Are ANY of these stories even verified?







































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