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Woman Appalled At Family’s Attitude Towards Her Wealth, Cancels Xmas For Taking Advantage Of Her
Many people, unfortunately, grow up in abusive households. In most cases, their family seems to fail to realize the impact of their actions and how they affect the person in the long term.
A woman endured lifelong unfair treatment from her immediate relatives, having to support them fully and not have it reciprocated. The last straw for her came when she prepared well-thought-out Christmas gifts for everyone and received nothing of substance in return.
Tired and fed up, she contemplates canceling holiday celebrations and possibly cutting ties with her family. Scroll down to read the entire story.
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Some family members can be emotionally abusive and neglectful
Image credits: voronaman111 / envato (not the actual photo)
This woman had endured lifelong unfair treatment from her family, and she has had enough
Image credits: Julia Volk / pexels (not the actual photo)
Fed up from how she’s been treated, she plans to cancel Christmas celebrations and distance herself completely
Image credits: Grinch123
Some people may be prone to abuse because of their personalities
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / unsplash (not the actual photo)
The author painted a picture of her personality, and she seems like a responsible person, to a fault.
She hosts grand parties for everyone to make them feel loved and welcome, even if she doesn’t receive the same treatment. She exerted a large chunk of her time and effort to maintain a warm and harmonious relationship, which was often thankless.
According to author and psychotherapist Dr. Avery Neal, such a trait makes someone prone to abuse. In an article for the American Counseling Association, Dr. Neal explained that people who take on more than their fair share of responsibility tend to be exploited by loved ones. It applies to familial and romantic relationships.
Empathy is an excellent trait, but having too much of it has downsides. As Dr. Neal explains, highly empathetic people will most likely give in after standing up for themselves when their abusers begin the guilt trip.
“A person’s greatest strength can also be their greatest weakness, and this is certainly the case with empathy,” she wrote.
The author seemed too understanding towards her family without thinking about herself, which is likely why they didn’t take her concerns seriously when she confronted them.
When your pleas fall on deaf ears, it may be time to cut ties with abusive family members
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Despite the long-term abuse she endured from her family, the author remains uncertain about whether or not she should maintain a relationship with them. She’s already stated her case, yet she remains to be ignored.
According to licensed therapist Dr. Claire Jack, these are clear signs that she should cut contact with her abusive relatives.
“These people are never going to see your point of view or admit any of their shortfalls,” Dr. Jack wrote in an article for Psychology Today.
Based on her story, the author doesn’t seem to be gaining anything positive from her relationship with her family. In such cases, Dr. Jack advises weighing the pros and cons; if the latter bears more weight, it may be time to go without contact.
“You have a right to lead a happy life and to distance yourself from people—no matter who they are—who act in an abusive manner towards you,” she says.
At this point, it may be healthier for the woman to keep her distance from everyone. She has done more than enough to show them her love and care. It won’t be easy because it still involves family, but it may be for the best.
Readers didn’t hold back with their comments, as the author responded to some questions
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What do you think ?
Susie Elle 1 year ago
I need an update with how OP told their family to stick it where the sun don't shine and the family's reaction.
SpiderWoman13 1 year ago
Me too. You cannot buy love or appreciation. OP needs to save her money for her kid and herself (emergency fund./trust fund) and begin CREATING a new Christmas story with her child by planning a marvelous trip every year. The truth is staring her in the face.
Load More Replies...
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
WA message: Thanks for showing me what you really think of me, Xmas is cancelled and your gifts have been rehome to charity.
Traveling Lady Railfan 1 year ago
Love should not be tied to material gain. Your family is your family by birth. You can't change that. You can change how you interact with them, you can change the nature of your relationship with them, you can change how they affect your thoughts and emotions. You worked hard to become a financial success and then your generous nature made you happy to give give. (Perhaps overcompensated.) Now they only see you as the source of expensive gifts, they don't care about your feelings, they don't care about the work you put into it, they don't care about the mental load. They see you as a source of food, entertainment, and presents. Choose to spread your joy in other directions. These people have gotten enough from you. Your generosity did not make them better people, it made them selfish. Donate their gifts to trusted charities. In the future, take the money you would have given for birthdays/anniversaries etc donate to animal shelter. Donate to women's shelter. Donate to Senior center.
Dizzie D 1 year ago
Op is overcompensating for the childhood they didn't have. It's kind of a 'look everyone this is what it should have been for me, so I'm making it right'. They need to cut ties. They are creating a bad situation for themselves. You can demand presents all you want from bad people or people that didn't care but if they don't have the money nor the inclination to be pro-active, there is no point.
TribbleThinking 1 year ago (edited)
I would consider nurturing an independent relationship with the random uncle. Sometimes, there are gems within each family tree who aren't immediately related, but are *the* person with whom you can resonate. I'm widowed, so I've accidentally done it with two different families. Even my best friend, unprompted, at my late husband's wake, picked the gem (a cousin) out of a cast of 40 relatives interspersed with 30 friends, laughing "She's the sister-in-law you wanted".
sweet emotion 1 year ago
Drop all the gifts you already bought (and wrapped) off at a responsible charity on your way to the airport for a trip to somewhere warm. After checking in at your luxury hotel, inform family of these actions by email including a photo of your toes digging in the sand.
Susie Elle 1 year ago
I need an update with how OP told their family to stick it where the sun don't shine and the family's reaction.
SpiderWoman13 1 year ago
Me too. You cannot buy love or appreciation. OP needs to save her money for her kid and herself (emergency fund./trust fund) and begin CREATING a new Christmas story with her child by planning a marvelous trip every year. The truth is staring her in the face.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
WA message: Thanks for showing me what you really think of me, Xmas is cancelled and your gifts have been rehome to charity.
Traveling Lady Railfan 1 year ago
Love should not be tied to material gain. Your family is your family by birth. You can't change that. You can change how you interact with them, you can change the nature of your relationship with them, you can change how they affect your thoughts and emotions. You worked hard to become a financial success and then your generous nature made you happy to give give. (Perhaps overcompensated.) Now they only see you as the source of expensive gifts, they don't care about your feelings, they don't care about the work you put into it, they don't care about the mental load. They see you as a source of food, entertainment, and presents. Choose to spread your joy in other directions. These people have gotten enough from you. Your generosity did not make them better people, it made them selfish. Donate their gifts to trusted charities. In the future, take the money you would have given for birthdays/anniversaries etc donate to animal shelter. Donate to women's shelter. Donate to Senior center.
Dizzie D 1 year ago
Op is overcompensating for the childhood they didn't have. It's kind of a 'look everyone this is what it should have been for me, so I'm making it right'. They need to cut ties. They are creating a bad situation for themselves. You can demand presents all you want from bad people or people that didn't care but if they don't have the money nor the inclination to be pro-active, there is no point.
TribbleThinking 1 year ago (edited)
I would consider nurturing an independent relationship with the random uncle. Sometimes, there are gems within each family tree who aren't immediately related, but are *the* person with whom you can resonate. I'm widowed, so I've accidentally done it with two different families. Even my best friend, unprompted, at my late husband's wake, picked the gem (a cousin) out of a cast of 40 relatives interspersed with 30 friends, laughing "She's the sister-in-law you wanted".
sweet emotion 1 year ago
Drop all the gifts you already bought (and wrapped) off at a responsible charity on your way to the airport for a trip to somewhere warm. After checking in at your luxury hotel, inform family of these actions by email including a photo of your toes digging in the sand.
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