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Dad Is Overwhelmed Before Christmas, Wants To Cancel It But Gets A Wakeup Call Online
Interview With Expert
Christmas is meant to be a time of festive cheer… but for many, that’s not the case. Some people are lonely, others are grieving. Then there are those who find themselves in a financial position that makes it near-impossible to celebrate or be happy.
A man has left people in tears after revealing that he’s considering canceling Christmas because he’s officially broke and drowning in debt. He says he feels like a failure to his wife and little girl but doesn’t see the point of putting up a tree when there’ll be nothing underneath it. There’s been a collective outpouring of kindness and support, as people try to convince the father to rethink things for the sake of his family.
Bored Panda reached out to WalletHub‘s financial writer and analyst, Chip Lupo to see what advice he has for anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation this year.
RELATED:
How do you celebrate Christmas when you find yourself with a negative bank balance and have lost all hope?
Image credits: drazenphoto (not the actual photo)
This husband and father feels it’s better to pretend the holiday doesn’t exist, but many disagree
He later revealed how he’d found out he was officially broke
People assured the father that he’s not a failure and shared their advice
Dozens of strangers showered the man with support, while still reminding him that his family deserves to celebrate
Some suggested free ways to still have a merry Christmas
After an outpouring of offers and messages from strangers, the man said he’d taken time to rethink things
Image credits: TrendsetterImages (not the actual photo)
Image credits: donut3771 (not the actual photo)
Image credits: drazenphoto (not the actual photo)
He also said that he’s sought professional help
Image credits: CapnDonkey
Image credits: CapnDonkey
The dad gave another update 2 weeks later, and a lot had changed thanks to the collective kindness he received
Image credits: CapnDonkey
Image credits: CapnDonkey
“He’s not failing”: a financial analyst gives their 2 cents
“When someone feels this overwhelmed, the pressure of the holidays can make everything feel heavier,” says Chip Lupo, financial writer and analyst for WalletHub. “But the good news is that enjoying the season doesn’t require a lot any spending at all.”
Bored Panda reached out to Lupo on behalf of the dad to see what advice he has when it comes to navigating the holiday season while drowning in debt. The expert told us that a WalletHub survey revealed that 81% of people feel better when they set a simple plan upfront.
“That doesn’t mean a long list or expensive gifts; just choosing one or two small items that feel doable,” he explains. “A budget or a low-cost plan can return a sense of control, which is often what feels missing when money is tight.”
Lupo adds that may also help to know that a huge share of people are simplifying the holidays this year. 42% of those polled say their budgets are “stretched thin,” and many families are shifting toward smaller traditions, handmade gifts, or skipping gifts entirely.
That means he’s not ‘falling short,’ he’s adapting,” says Lupo. “The same way millions of others are.”
The experts suggests that the man shouldn’t force cheer, or put up decorations, if it adds stress. “What matters most to a 2-year-old is the connection, not the size of a tree or the number of gifts,” he told us. “Even something small, such as a walk to look at lights, reading a holiday story, or making a simple craft, can become a meaningful moment without costing anything.”
“He’s not failing. He’s simply navigating a tough financial stretch,” Lupo said. “And there’s a lot of room to create a peaceful, low-pressure holiday that doesn’t add new debt or emotional strain.”
Image credits: Towfiqu barbhuiya (not the actual photo)
What to do if you find yourself deep in debt this Christmas, according to an expert
If things look bleak this year and you’re drowning in debt this festive season, Lupo says the most important step is to stop the bleeding and reset your plans.
“More than 1 in 4 Americans are still paying off debt from last holiday season, and 43% say they won’t pay their holiday purchases in full this year, so you’re not alone,” he adds. “Start by making a strict budget, which 81% of people say helps during the holidays. Avoid taking on new debt unless absolutely necessary, especially since 85% of Americans are already planning to spend the same amount of money, or less than last year.”
Lupo says you should also consider focusing on handmade or low-cost alternatives that can help you stay within your means. “If you must use credit, stick to tools that give you breathing room like 0% APR cards, rather than high-interest store financing. Most importantly, map out a realistic payoff plan so this year’s expenses don’t turn into next year’s stress,” he advises.
The expert believes there are plenty of meaningful ways to celebrate Christmas without spending a lot of money. According to WalletbHub’s survey, 61% of Americans say they’d actually enjoy the holidays more without exchanging gifts. This shows that many people are open to simpler traditions.
“Free options like hosting a potluck meal, planning game or movie nights at home, and enjoying local holiday light displays can make the season feel special without adding financial stress,” Lupo suggests.
Image credits: Nicola Barts (not the actual photo)
“Best update ever!”: people were thrilled and some even shed a tear
Christmas tree despite financial struggles.” />
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What do you think ?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 days ago (edited)
FML, this made me tear up for reals. I'm in massive debt myself (mostly from really, really poor life choices made while trying to mentally "escape" from a bad relationship - yes, I mean addíctíon/drúg use - instead of GTFOing said relationship; most of you Pandas will know whom I mean) and I have a lot of pets. The money I do make goes to making sure they have food and litter (for the cats) and medical care. I eat 99-cent ramen and whatever meals my mom gets for free from her (many) tribal casinos XD I have a group of online friends on Discord who know my situation and have offered to send me food/money for food, and I cried when they did - I appreciated it SO much. I was okay in terms of food - my family are not nice people, but they do give me free food. And I save where I can - if my pets rip a toy, I fix it if I can. Same for my clothes. I don't have human kids to celebrate with, but I decorate for holidays with my decorations I've had for years (they are quite old/faded now, lol) because it's about keeping up my spirits too. Otherwise I'm just alive, not living.
Rebecca O’Donnell 6 days ago
LakotaWolf, you give so much to us Bored Pandas. You have a very generous heart for us and your beautiful pets. Here’s a hug from a Bored Panda who always looks for your comments because they’re knowledgeable, insightful and, sometimes, funny.
Load More Replies...
Emilu 6 days ago
OP was never an AH; the people that said he was are the AHs. He was likely just feeling overwhelmed. I hope life has got financially better for OP and his family, but I'm also glad that OP's learnt that money isn't the be-all end-all and you can still make the day special without spending a fortune.
Janelle Collard 6 days ago (edited)
Aw, good for OP! Glad the reddit(?) people gave him encouragement, helpful tips and advice and didn't let him get too down. Hope that Christmas + the subsequent ones have been merry, esp. with a new baby!
Julia H 6 days ago
While the post is over 5 years old, the message is still timely. Hope OP is doing better.
Sue User 5 days ago
Just worried what happenned because the second child was due just as everything went into lockdown.
Load More Replies...
Oskar vanZandt 6 days ago
There are SOOOOOO many people overspending and going into debt over Christmas... Can't feel good to be so stressed and anxious about it. My family always celebrated in a modest way and that's how I "live" Christmas. If I were parent to a toddler and had little money to spend, I would focus on decorating the house to create a special atmosphere and sort little treats for the child. Everyone else that I might have given presents to in the past, I would explain my situation to and opt out. It's not worth destroying your mental health to celebrate every holiday...
Sue User 5 days ago
Years ago, when we were young adults and all moving away from home, we didnt see each other much. Had a sister with a good job. She woukd guess what we wanted ( no telling her , thats tacky ). One year she bought me a fushia sweater, that cost more than a months grocieries. I hace reddish hair. So next year ny brother hosted and said " no gifts, bring expensive food" . We kept that tradition. It is so non stressful to not have to buy gifts, just find some yummy treat to share.
Load More Replies...
StrangeOne 6 days ago (edited)
I'm not going to judge with a verdict. This situation doesn't call for it and I would hate to kick a poor man when he's already down. He's feeling financially insecure, anxious about the upcoming month, and worried about his family's survival. To him, there's no joy, no time for joy, no time for anything that doesn't involve obsessing over finances and how to fix it. Been there, around this time and other special occasions. I don't think his daughter is going to notice if there's a Christmas tree or presents. However, I don't think his wife is any less chill, either. She's upset about the situation and wants to feel hopeful. The best thing to do, if possible, is to see if it's possible for this wife and kid to stay at a close relative's home for the holiday, at least closer to, and on, Christmas day, so he can have his time to sort things and his family can have enjoy Christmas. I do agree with others saying that Christmas isn't about how much you buy and giving presents. It is nice, but not essential. The best way to spend the holidays is home with family, baking, making holiday crafts, watching Christmas movies you may own, or on a free streaming service (like Tubi), reading Christmas books to your kids, playing Christmas music and playing some games. If it's not too cold out, going for walks, sledding, skating, skiing (if you own the equipment), ogling the decked out houses, or just chilling at someone's home drinking hot chocolate and eating shortbread. I think OP also needs to have some time to enjoy his downtime. Debts can be paid off soon enough. I had a reduction of hours this week. I think the equivlent of 1 day may be missing off my next payday. I may have to pay some bills late. I've told everyone I'm not doing Christmas gifts this year, or they will be some time after Christmas. Deepening debt over the holidays is unwise and will ensure you're miserable for the New Year.
OneHappyPuppy 5 days ago
My father passed away the previous week. My grandmother passed away last Christmas. My son asked to decorate. Know what I did? I decorated. Just because all the future Christmas joy is ruined for me, I won't let it ruin my son's future Christmases.
Apatheist Account2 6 days ago
One doesn't *have* to celebrate any holiday. When one is growing up, it's an opportunity to get new toys; as an adult, maybe have a few drinks or a party, but it's entirely voluntary. As with anything else, if you can't afford it, don't do it, and try to live within your income. We haven't celebrated it for years, it means nothing to us, and it's really not the same as when the shops were all shut and there were only 3 channels to watch on TV.
Ge Po 4 days ago
So, write letters from the heart and put those under the tree. Write poems, or rip them off the internet, write offerings of feet-rubs, turns to cook/clean, romantic picknicks etc (low-budget, but high imput) and put those under the tree. I know families who make all their presents themselves throughout the year. I know families who hand out chores (home-fixing, baby-sitting, lawn-mowing, birthday/wedding-decorating) and it keeps them together throughout the year. I know families who exchange possessions they no longer need and make it into fun gifts that also have good memories attached. I like those kind of gift-exchanges, because it is about love and care and spending time together and making the effort.
Sonder Toffee 5 days ago
Oh man just got to the part where he was helped budget for 2020 and really feel bad for knowing now what he couldn’t have known then. Oof
Beef Brisket 6 days ago
“It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!” “Maybe Christmas… perhaps… means a little bit more.” Decorate. Go to church on Christmas Eve. And then read your daughter the story of Christmas--the real story, about the birth of Jesus. I think you need to hear it too. Christmas is not about presents. And things will get better. You'll look back on this time someday. Don't let the memories be bad ones.
Apatheist Account2 6 days ago
The "real" story? You mean the one that happened in June, or possibly October, in about 6BC, or maybe 4BC, or maybe not at all? When some people followed a comet to the birth of a baby that was the result of an adulterous one-night stand with a Roman soldier and was amended and embellished so that it would fit with an ancient prophecy? That story?
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 days ago (edited)
FML, this made me tear up for reals. I'm in massive debt myself (mostly from really, really poor life choices made while trying to mentally "escape" from a bad relationship - yes, I mean addíctíon/drúg use - instead of GTFOing said relationship; most of you Pandas will know whom I mean) and I have a lot of pets. The money I do make goes to making sure they have food and litter (for the cats) and medical care. I eat 99-cent ramen and whatever meals my mom gets for free from her (many) tribal casinos XD I have a group of online friends on Discord who know my situation and have offered to send me food/money for food, and I cried when they did - I appreciated it SO much. I was okay in terms of food - my family are not nice people, but they do give me free food. And I save where I can - if my pets rip a toy, I fix it if I can. Same for my clothes. I don't have human kids to celebrate with, but I decorate for holidays with my decorations I've had for years (they are quite old/faded now, lol) because it's about keeping up my spirits too. Otherwise I'm just alive, not living.
Rebecca O’Donnell 6 days ago
LakotaWolf, you give so much to us Bored Pandas. You have a very generous heart for us and your beautiful pets. Here’s a hug from a Bored Panda who always looks for your comments because they’re knowledgeable, insightful and, sometimes, funny.
Load More Replies... Emilu 6 days ago
OP was never an AH; the people that said he was are the AHs. He was likely just feeling overwhelmed. I hope life has got financially better for OP and his family, but I'm also glad that OP's learnt that money isn't the be-all end-all and you can still make the day special without spending a fortune.
Janelle Collard 6 days ago (edited)
Aw, good for OP! Glad the reddit(?) people gave him encouragement, helpful tips and advice and didn't let him get too down. Hope that Christmas + the subsequent ones have been merry, esp. with a new baby!
Julia H 6 days ago
While the post is over 5 years old, the message is still timely. Hope OP is doing better.
Sue User 5 days ago
Just worried what happenned because the second child was due just as everything went into lockdown.
Load More Replies... Oskar vanZandt 6 days ago
There are SOOOOOO many people overspending and going into debt over Christmas... Can't feel good to be so stressed and anxious about it. My family always celebrated in a modest way and that's how I "live" Christmas. If I were parent to a toddler and had little money to spend, I would focus on decorating the house to create a special atmosphere and sort little treats for the child. Everyone else that I might have given presents to in the past, I would explain my situation to and opt out. It's not worth destroying your mental health to celebrate every holiday...
Sue User 5 days ago
Years ago, when we were young adults and all moving away from home, we didnt see each other much. Had a sister with a good job. She woukd guess what we wanted ( no telling her , thats tacky ). One year she bought me a fushia sweater, that cost more than a months grocieries. I hace reddish hair. So next year ny brother hosted and said " no gifts, bring expensive food" . We kept that tradition. It is so non stressful to not have to buy gifts, just find some yummy treat to share.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 6 days ago (edited)
I'm not going to judge with a verdict. This situation doesn't call for it and I would hate to kick a poor man when he's already down. He's feeling financially insecure, anxious about the upcoming month, and worried about his family's survival. To him, there's no joy, no time for joy, no time for anything that doesn't involve obsessing over finances and how to fix it. Been there, around this time and other special occasions. I don't think his daughter is going to notice if there's a Christmas tree or presents. However, I don't think his wife is any less chill, either. She's upset about the situation and wants to feel hopeful. The best thing to do, if possible, is to see if it's possible for this wife and kid to stay at a close relative's home for the holiday, at least closer to, and on, Christmas day, so he can have his time to sort things and his family can have enjoy Christmas. I do agree with others saying that Christmas isn't about how much you buy and giving presents. It is nice, but not essential. The best way to spend the holidays is home with family, baking, making holiday crafts, watching Christmas movies you may own, or on a free streaming service (like Tubi), reading Christmas books to your kids, playing Christmas music and playing some games. If it's not too cold out, going for walks, sledding, skating, skiing (if you own the equipment), ogling the decked out houses, or just chilling at someone's home drinking hot chocolate and eating shortbread. I think OP also needs to have some time to enjoy his downtime. Debts can be paid off soon enough. I had a reduction of hours this week. I think the equivlent of 1 day may be missing off my next payday. I may have to pay some bills late. I've told everyone I'm not doing Christmas gifts this year, or they will be some time after Christmas. Deepening debt over the holidays is unwise and will ensure you're miserable for the New Year.
OneHappyPuppy 5 days ago
My father passed away the previous week. My grandmother passed away last Christmas. My son asked to decorate. Know what I did? I decorated. Just because all the future Christmas joy is ruined for me, I won't let it ruin my son's future Christmases.
Apatheist Account2 6 days ago
One doesn't *have* to celebrate any holiday. When one is growing up, it's an opportunity to get new toys; as an adult, maybe have a few drinks or a party, but it's entirely voluntary. As with anything else, if you can't afford it, don't do it, and try to live within your income. We haven't celebrated it for years, it means nothing to us, and it's really not the same as when the shops were all shut and there were only 3 channels to watch on TV.
Ge Po 4 days ago
So, write letters from the heart and put those under the tree. Write poems, or rip them off the internet, write offerings of feet-rubs, turns to cook/clean, romantic picknicks etc (low-budget, but high imput) and put those under the tree. I know families who make all their presents themselves throughout the year. I know families who hand out chores (home-fixing, baby-sitting, lawn-mowing, birthday/wedding-decorating) and it keeps them together throughout the year. I know families who exchange possessions they no longer need and make it into fun gifts that also have good memories attached. I like those kind of gift-exchanges, because it is about love and care and spending time together and making the effort.
Sonder Toffee 5 days ago
Oh man just got to the part where he was helped budget for 2020 and really feel bad for knowing now what he couldn’t have known then. Oof
Beef Brisket 6 days ago
“It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!” “Maybe Christmas… perhaps… means a little bit more.” Decorate. Go to church on Christmas Eve. And then read your daughter the story of Christmas--the real story, about the birth of Jesus. I think you need to hear it too. Christmas is not about presents. And things will get better. You'll look back on this time someday. Don't let the memories be bad ones.
Apatheist Account2 6 days ago
The "real" story? You mean the one that happened in June, or possibly October, in about 6BC, or maybe 4BC, or maybe not at all? When some people followed a comet to the birth of a baby that was the result of an adulterous one-night stand with a Roman soldier and was amended and embellished so that it would fit with an ancient prophecy? That story?
Load More Replies... You May Like To Pass The Time, Here Are 80 Best Christmas Episodes You Can Watch 81 Traditional Christmas Foods To Feast On 135 Christmas Trivia Questions To Make The Wait A Bit More Festive
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