Sis Exposes Woman’s Secret Abortion To Her Pro-Life Husband After Constant Shaming, Takes Heat
Abortion is a very sensitive topic. In fact, in some families it is a taboo – they don’t risk talking about it just in case their opinions don’t match.
In a way, the family from today’s story was one of these. Well, to be more specific, some were trying to ignore the topic, while others were actively bringing it up and making everyone uncomfortable. Until one day it all got too personal and the inevitable explosion of relationships happened.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes, not bringing up certain topics in a family setting can save some relationships from being ruined
Image credits: Nataliya Vaitkevich (not the actual photo)
A family had two sisters who held very different opinions related to abortion – one of them was pro-life, while the other was pro-choice
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
While the pro-life one constantly was talking about her views, the rest of the family used to try not to get involved and cause a big fight
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
But one day, the pro-life woman brought up her sister’s similar-to-abortion procedure she had done many years earlier for her health and told her to repent for her sin
Image credits: AcanthisittaThrowRA
This angered the pro-choice woman, and she revealed to everyone that her sister had actually had an abortion, despite calling it murder now
The OP describes herself as a pro-choice person. At the same time, her older sister Jane refers to herself as pro-life.
Some say that these labels can be viewed asloaded language. After all, implying someone is anti-life or anti-choice sounds pretty harsh. They are also viewed as outdated terms. While they remain widely used by the public, some organizations, like Planned Parenthood, don’t use them anymore. Since the original poster used the terms mentioned, for the sake of clarity we will too.
So, to no surprise, the author’s pro-life sister is quite a religious Christian. This religion and the topic of abortion have a fairly complicatedrelationship, to put it mildly.
So, as we already know, she and her husband are in the47% of those Christians who think that abortion should be illegal in most cases. They also do not shy away from referring to it as murder. And this drastic view causes quite some tension between her and her family.
The unfortunate family brunch described in the post became the peak of this tension. During it, the topic of abortion came up. So, Jane once again started her speech about how it is murder and anyone who supports it goes against Christian values. And just like any other time, both the OP and her parents tried to stay out of Jane’s monologue, since they didn’t agree with it.
But then the older sister decided to bring up the author. She called her a disgrace to the family and God because of her pro-choice views. If that wasn’t enough, she also brought up her medical history.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
To be more specific, the fact that back in the day the OP had a uterine fistula removed via the dilatation and curettage method. With this operation, the woman’s uterus lining is scraped. While it can be used as amethodof abortion, it also has many other functions, such as investigation of uterine infection, female infertility, and many others.
These functions applied to the OP. For some reason, her sister still viewed this as an abortion and said that she should repent for her sin. This was the last straw. The woman got tired of her sister’s holier-than-thou attitude and her entitlement to reveal her medical history, so she snapped.
She said, “At least I’m not a murderer by your standard, but you are.” She was referring to the fact that the pro-life sister had actually had an abortion a few years earlier. What a plot twist!
No surprise, it shocked both Jane and her husband, who didn’t have a clue about it. And we probably don’t even have to say that this painted the OP in rather a bad light in her family’s eyes. In the spur of the moment she not only revealed a sensitive secret her sister had trusted her with but also caused a rift in her marriage.
On the other hand, Jane did a similar thing to her and she did it first. That’s what many people in the comments thought too. They said that going with the “eye for eye”ideawas fair in this scenario.
Well, it’s probably a good guess that this interaction only further ruined the sisters’ already tense relationship. But when one of them constantly was trying to imply her moral superiority over such a sensitive question, it was bound to happen, wasn’t it?
This caused a rift in family relationships, so the woman asked online if she was wrong for it, but people there told her that going with the “eye for eye” idea was okay in this situation
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Some abortions are done via D&C, but all D&C procedures are not abortions. Abortion by definition is the removal of the uterine contents due to termination of a pregnancy. OP was not pregnant at 17. She had a medical condition repaired. This is no more an abortion than having a hemorrhoid removed.
That’s what I was thinking. I don’t know why she’s even calling it an abortion procedure. She didn’t abort anything.
Load More Replies...Ah, yes, abortion...the perfect topic for a Sunday brunch with the family./s
I don't agree with abortion, but I also don't have the means or the mental and physical ability to care for an unwanted baby. I do NOT agree that "pro-life" ends at birth. I know some quite nice people who've had abortions. After all, who am I to judge? But if you're going to condemn someone for having an abortion, I want to see your plan for taking care of the baby. Where are all the pro-lifers when a gay man is beaten to death for being who he is? Where are all the pro-lifers when there's a school shooting? Where are all the pro-lifers when a d**g-addicted hooker wants to change her life? Where are all the pro-lifers to go visit shut-ins and nursing home residents who otherwise see nobody? Where are all the pro-lifers when a man files for divorce because his wife is abusive? Where are all the pro-lifers when a man abandons his wife because she has cancer? Saying you're pro-life is just an empty word. If you're so pro-life, get off your soapbox and do something besides throwing dolls at clinics!
John Oliver did a show about pro lifers setting up clinics where they string along pregnant women who want an abortion until it is too late legally to get one. Once the woman has no choice but to give birth, the pro lifers walk away and let the women deal with a child they don't want or can't afford. Personally, I think anyone who publicly impose their opinions should take in, or be financially responsible for all aspects of their care, including day care so the women can work. The children are innocent and the pro lifers don't give a damn about them.
Load More Replies...Step sister withheld the fact she had one, leading husband to assume she's ever had one? She kept a "dark" secret from everyone and presented herself as holier than thou. She judged others constantly. Why are evangelicals always the most atrociously hypocritical nightmares. And before you say "not all of them" sorry but i've lived in the bible belt for almost 40 years, went to an evangelical high school amd a baptist college. I can say what i say with certainty.
Evangelicals are nightmare people because of the very book, the bible, that they follow. They know "the one true god", blah blah blah, and they're job is to spread his message...this leads to a false sense of superiority because they've been told they have knowledge (and very "important" knowledge, at that) that others don't have. They're told they have better morals, better this, better that, all because of some stupid book a bunch of old, controlling men wrote. Their egos and sense of self importance are inflated to an, obviously, dangerous degree.
Load More Replies...Next time abortion comes up, change the subject to something less divisive, like politics, or the death penalty 😁
Doesn't the Bible actually contain instructions on how to perform an abortion? Either way this self-righteous bullying hypocrite got what she deserved. I'd have stopped talking to her years ago.
Yes, it does. OT, Numbers I think. EDIT: to those who want to find out more https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/p/everything-the-bible-says-about-abortion
Load More Replies...Religious freaks who judge people, which according to their “god” is a sin, are nothing but lowlife hypocrites who are hellbent on controlling other peoples lives. Religious freaks don’t deserve any respect or kindness. Her sister is a hypocrite and got what she deserved.
This story hits home. I know a pro lifer who has had 3 abortion and thinks it murder. But she is born again, so she is saved.
That's fair enough. She's emulating good company. Constantine, the emperor pope, forced his subjects to convert, and murdered his wife and son, but deliberately delayed his own baptism until his deathbed as it would cleanse him of all his sins. Well, that's alright then. Never mind all that past nastiness.
Load More Replies...I'm having a problem with how the parents are all about keeping "opinions to yourself" when it came to the OP, but didn't seem to care when it was the sister not keeping her opinion to herself ...
Let's see how "forgiving her so-called Christian husband is.
Load More Replies...Don't poke the bear. That's the single stupidest thing that sister could have done. Attempting to call out OP all while reciting "pay no attention to the (wo)man behind the curtains". To quote Charlie Brown, good grief.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, that’s for sure.
Load More Replies...Hypochristians deserve to be outed. Today, as I write, an anti-LGBTQIA "freedumb caucasians" republiclown in South Carolina was arrested for possessing Child Sex Abuse Material. [ https://www.thearenasc.com/p/report-sc-state-representative-under ]
A D&C in NOT an abortion. This women needs to learn what she's talking about - because she's wrong. I had a D&C to help stop heavy bleeding. There was absolutely nothing in my uterus that was "aborted".
After reading the reddit posts; I don't know what to think. She mentions an uterine fistula in the story. Later in the comments she mentions an uterine fistula being connected to the urethra. A D&C would not be the proper way to fix this problem. D&C's can cause fistulas. I wonder if the author meant to say she had a fibroid removed and not a fistula.
Yes, that would make more sense, as a fibroid needs removing, and a D&C is a procedure of removal. Whereas a fistula requires a "fixing" or "adding"(of patch?) procedure. Please forgive the basic descriptions, am not a medical person.
Load More Replies...I feel like even if the pro-life sister hadn‘t been such an absolute monster, her husband would have deserved to know. If someone has SUCH a strong opinion about something you did once, then you owe it to them and to yourself to tell them . This has nothing to do with the matter itself, just with honesty. Either you mean more to them than their beliefs, or the relationship is over. You don’t want to spend your life fearing your partner would find out, and you don’t want a part er who lies into your face every day, telling you that they agree with you while keeping such a secret from you. (To be clear, I‘m pro-choice and I don’t think someone needs to tell their partner about abortions that happened before their relationship. But I think in this specific case, it’s a matter of deceiving someone.)
To be clear about one minor point - saying you’re ok with abortion when it comes to the life of the mother means that all you care about is whether the mom is alive or dead. What if the mom’s health is severely affected but she’s not in mortal danger? I just hate the “life of the mother” argument.
A couple of cliches come to mind...what goes around comes around, and nothing is more sanitizing than the clear light of day. Personally, I handle people like the OPs sister, i.e. my mom, by going all gray rock on them. Mom knows we don't agree on a lot of things, but she seems to unable to stop herself from bringing something up every time we see each other. I used to jump on every baited hook she tossed out, but now I'm like, oh look, she just tossed a hook at me, should I have a piece of cake?, this game on my phone is so fascinating. Visits are much more pleasant.
Well, at the very least, perhaps people in the family will stop bringing up highly controversial topics over meals. It was an inappropriate topic to have over a meal and having that discussion won't change anyone's mind so why are they having it? Sister got what was coming for her. These views are putting women in danger and putting women through a ton of trauma over religion which should not be happening in a secular society. How many pro-life people judge other women for their private health matters but still go get abortions themselves? Nonsense.
Pro-lifers will find any justification for their own abortion. If others do it it's murder, but if they do it it's fine. She couldn't handle the heat.
NTA. If she doesn't want people to point fingers at her, then she should also not point fingers at others. If she points, then she better have the courage to accept being pointed at or keep her mouth shut. Remind her Newton's third law.
Sister needs to go to therapy. When you can't shut up about the subject it's because you haven't come to terms with it. And if she's surrounded by such a judgmental, fundamentalist lot that this topic is brought up in church, she definitely didn't have the time and space to heal. Abortion, even when it needs to be done due to medical reasons, weighs on the mind. And if you are pro-life, or come from a fundamentalist environment, then it's probably even harder. I am 100% on OP's side because I'm also pretty hot-headed and abhor hypocrisy, so I probably would have done the same. But the sister needs to be shown a bit of grace and needs to be offered the help she so clearly needs.
As a Christian (a pro-life one, for that matter), hearing of Christians unrepeantedly having such holier-than-thou attitudes make me sad... Matthew 23, anyone?
People in glasshouses. Personally might have reminded the sister in private about her own history and then if she came at me again publicly, I'd do exactly what she did.
A D&C isn't solely an abortive procedure, as mentioned by op's fistula removal. Her stepsister was the real a*****e. FAFO.
I dunno, reminding a fervent churchgoer that they are an absolute hypocrite on Sunday sounds like appropriate conversation to me... The relevant reading for today's lesson is John 8:1-11.
NTA. Consider no contact. Religious nutcases need to hit - no, be thrown at - Rock Bottom, and if that doesn't cure them, just repeat it. Learn from them - what do they do after some camp to de-homo homosexual minors who can't defend them against such, fail to make them hetero? A worse camp! Pray the Gay Away! So ... shatter their world. Shatter their surrounding, and expose her EVERYWHERE - because she deserves it. NTA isn't close enough to how much of TA Sister and Broter-in-Law are - being Antichoice is wrong as, in and of itself, judging the "murder" of a few cells is just short of calling ejaculating aimlessly as genoicide, and that so-called standard, so-called ethic, needs to be shattered into the tiny fragments of which it isn't worth one as long as it's whole. Taste a spoonful of their own, precisely aimed at antichoicer who choiced, which they spill in the gallons at everyone who doesn't care for their Blabla, is not even anywhere near enough, but it's a nice start.
It's really quite simple: if you don't want people to talk about your secret abortion, stfu about abortion. Problem solved. NTA
Your sister cannot seem to take what she dishes out. Also, remind her of what Jesus said in Matthew 7:1, Judge not, that you be not judged. (Oops)
A D&C is not an abortion unless the person was pregnant and a D&C is not the way to repair a fistula so I don't know what OP had. Signed an OB - GYN
NTA, and **** her sister. Even if there is such thing as a god/God, how could a lowly mortal person ever hope to be able to speak for what that god/God was thinking about someone else? That's hubris of the highest order.
Jane and John's pastor needs to make John 8:9-11 the subject of next week's sermon.
Some abortions are done via D&C, but all D&C procedures are not abortions. Abortion by definition is the removal of the uterine contents due to termination of a pregnancy. OP was not pregnant at 17. She had a medical condition repaired. This is no more an abortion than having a hemorrhoid removed.
That’s what I was thinking. I don’t know why she’s even calling it an abortion procedure. She didn’t abort anything.
Load More Replies...Ah, yes, abortion...the perfect topic for a Sunday brunch with the family./s
I don't agree with abortion, but I also don't have the means or the mental and physical ability to care for an unwanted baby. I do NOT agree that "pro-life" ends at birth. I know some quite nice people who've had abortions. After all, who am I to judge? But if you're going to condemn someone for having an abortion, I want to see your plan for taking care of the baby. Where are all the pro-lifers when a gay man is beaten to death for being who he is? Where are all the pro-lifers when there's a school shooting? Where are all the pro-lifers when a d**g-addicted hooker wants to change her life? Where are all the pro-lifers to go visit shut-ins and nursing home residents who otherwise see nobody? Where are all the pro-lifers when a man files for divorce because his wife is abusive? Where are all the pro-lifers when a man abandons his wife because she has cancer? Saying you're pro-life is just an empty word. If you're so pro-life, get off your soapbox and do something besides throwing dolls at clinics!
John Oliver did a show about pro lifers setting up clinics where they string along pregnant women who want an abortion until it is too late legally to get one. Once the woman has no choice but to give birth, the pro lifers walk away and let the women deal with a child they don't want or can't afford. Personally, I think anyone who publicly impose their opinions should take in, or be financially responsible for all aspects of their care, including day care so the women can work. The children are innocent and the pro lifers don't give a damn about them.
Load More Replies...Step sister withheld the fact she had one, leading husband to assume she's ever had one? She kept a "dark" secret from everyone and presented herself as holier than thou. She judged others constantly. Why are evangelicals always the most atrociously hypocritical nightmares. And before you say "not all of them" sorry but i've lived in the bible belt for almost 40 years, went to an evangelical high school amd a baptist college. I can say what i say with certainty.
Evangelicals are nightmare people because of the very book, the bible, that they follow. They know "the one true god", blah blah blah, and they're job is to spread his message...this leads to a false sense of superiority because they've been told they have knowledge (and very "important" knowledge, at that) that others don't have. They're told they have better morals, better this, better that, all because of some stupid book a bunch of old, controlling men wrote. Their egos and sense of self importance are inflated to an, obviously, dangerous degree.
Load More Replies...Next time abortion comes up, change the subject to something less divisive, like politics, or the death penalty 😁
Doesn't the Bible actually contain instructions on how to perform an abortion? Either way this self-righteous bullying hypocrite got what she deserved. I'd have stopped talking to her years ago.
Yes, it does. OT, Numbers I think. EDIT: to those who want to find out more https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/p/everything-the-bible-says-about-abortion
Load More Replies...Religious freaks who judge people, which according to their “god” is a sin, are nothing but lowlife hypocrites who are hellbent on controlling other peoples lives. Religious freaks don’t deserve any respect or kindness. Her sister is a hypocrite and got what she deserved.
This story hits home. I know a pro lifer who has had 3 abortion and thinks it murder. But she is born again, so she is saved.
That's fair enough. She's emulating good company. Constantine, the emperor pope, forced his subjects to convert, and murdered his wife and son, but deliberately delayed his own baptism until his deathbed as it would cleanse him of all his sins. Well, that's alright then. Never mind all that past nastiness.
Load More Replies...I'm having a problem with how the parents are all about keeping "opinions to yourself" when it came to the OP, but didn't seem to care when it was the sister not keeping her opinion to herself ...
Let's see how "forgiving her so-called Christian husband is.
Load More Replies...Don't poke the bear. That's the single stupidest thing that sister could have done. Attempting to call out OP all while reciting "pay no attention to the (wo)man behind the curtains". To quote Charlie Brown, good grief.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, that’s for sure.
Load More Replies...Hypochristians deserve to be outed. Today, as I write, an anti-LGBTQIA "freedumb caucasians" republiclown in South Carolina was arrested for possessing Child Sex Abuse Material. [ https://www.thearenasc.com/p/report-sc-state-representative-under ]
A D&C in NOT an abortion. This women needs to learn what she's talking about - because she's wrong. I had a D&C to help stop heavy bleeding. There was absolutely nothing in my uterus that was "aborted".
After reading the reddit posts; I don't know what to think. She mentions an uterine fistula in the story. Later in the comments she mentions an uterine fistula being connected to the urethra. A D&C would not be the proper way to fix this problem. D&C's can cause fistulas. I wonder if the author meant to say she had a fibroid removed and not a fistula.
Yes, that would make more sense, as a fibroid needs removing, and a D&C is a procedure of removal. Whereas a fistula requires a "fixing" or "adding"(of patch?) procedure. Please forgive the basic descriptions, am not a medical person.
Load More Replies...I feel like even if the pro-life sister hadn‘t been such an absolute monster, her husband would have deserved to know. If someone has SUCH a strong opinion about something you did once, then you owe it to them and to yourself to tell them . This has nothing to do with the matter itself, just with honesty. Either you mean more to them than their beliefs, or the relationship is over. You don’t want to spend your life fearing your partner would find out, and you don’t want a part er who lies into your face every day, telling you that they agree with you while keeping such a secret from you. (To be clear, I‘m pro-choice and I don’t think someone needs to tell their partner about abortions that happened before their relationship. But I think in this specific case, it’s a matter of deceiving someone.)
To be clear about one minor point - saying you’re ok with abortion when it comes to the life of the mother means that all you care about is whether the mom is alive or dead. What if the mom’s health is severely affected but she’s not in mortal danger? I just hate the “life of the mother” argument.
A couple of cliches come to mind...what goes around comes around, and nothing is more sanitizing than the clear light of day. Personally, I handle people like the OPs sister, i.e. my mom, by going all gray rock on them. Mom knows we don't agree on a lot of things, but she seems to unable to stop herself from bringing something up every time we see each other. I used to jump on every baited hook she tossed out, but now I'm like, oh look, she just tossed a hook at me, should I have a piece of cake?, this game on my phone is so fascinating. Visits are much more pleasant.
Well, at the very least, perhaps people in the family will stop bringing up highly controversial topics over meals. It was an inappropriate topic to have over a meal and having that discussion won't change anyone's mind so why are they having it? Sister got what was coming for her. These views are putting women in danger and putting women through a ton of trauma over religion which should not be happening in a secular society. How many pro-life people judge other women for their private health matters but still go get abortions themselves? Nonsense.
Pro-lifers will find any justification for their own abortion. If others do it it's murder, but if they do it it's fine. She couldn't handle the heat.
NTA. If she doesn't want people to point fingers at her, then she should also not point fingers at others. If she points, then she better have the courage to accept being pointed at or keep her mouth shut. Remind her Newton's third law.
Sister needs to go to therapy. When you can't shut up about the subject it's because you haven't come to terms with it. And if she's surrounded by such a judgmental, fundamentalist lot that this topic is brought up in church, she definitely didn't have the time and space to heal. Abortion, even when it needs to be done due to medical reasons, weighs on the mind. And if you are pro-life, or come from a fundamentalist environment, then it's probably even harder. I am 100% on OP's side because I'm also pretty hot-headed and abhor hypocrisy, so I probably would have done the same. But the sister needs to be shown a bit of grace and needs to be offered the help she so clearly needs.
As a Christian (a pro-life one, for that matter), hearing of Christians unrepeantedly having such holier-than-thou attitudes make me sad... Matthew 23, anyone?
People in glasshouses. Personally might have reminded the sister in private about her own history and then if she came at me again publicly, I'd do exactly what she did.
A D&C isn't solely an abortive procedure, as mentioned by op's fistula removal. Her stepsister was the real a*****e. FAFO.
I dunno, reminding a fervent churchgoer that they are an absolute hypocrite on Sunday sounds like appropriate conversation to me... The relevant reading for today's lesson is John 8:1-11.
NTA. Consider no contact. Religious nutcases need to hit - no, be thrown at - Rock Bottom, and if that doesn't cure them, just repeat it. Learn from them - what do they do after some camp to de-homo homosexual minors who can't defend them against such, fail to make them hetero? A worse camp! Pray the Gay Away! So ... shatter their world. Shatter their surrounding, and expose her EVERYWHERE - because she deserves it. NTA isn't close enough to how much of TA Sister and Broter-in-Law are - being Antichoice is wrong as, in and of itself, judging the "murder" of a few cells is just short of calling ejaculating aimlessly as genoicide, and that so-called standard, so-called ethic, needs to be shattered into the tiny fragments of which it isn't worth one as long as it's whole. Taste a spoonful of their own, precisely aimed at antichoicer who choiced, which they spill in the gallons at everyone who doesn't care for their Blabla, is not even anywhere near enough, but it's a nice start.
It's really quite simple: if you don't want people to talk about your secret abortion, stfu about abortion. Problem solved. NTA
Your sister cannot seem to take what she dishes out. Also, remind her of what Jesus said in Matthew 7:1, Judge not, that you be not judged. (Oops)
A D&C is not an abortion unless the person was pregnant and a D&C is not the way to repair a fistula so I don't know what OP had. Signed an OB - GYN
NTA, and **** her sister. Even if there is such thing as a god/God, how could a lowly mortal person ever hope to be able to speak for what that god/God was thinking about someone else? That's hubris of the highest order.
Jane and John's pastor needs to make John 8:9-11 the subject of next week's sermon.






















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