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Successful Woman Refuses To Fund Sister’s Large Family, Then Faces A Cruel Insult From Bro
I have one older brother, and luckily, we have always had a great relationship. Whenever I have needed emotional or financial support, he has been there for me. But that doesn’t mean I expect him to keep supporting me whenever I make choices that I can’t afford.
The teen behind this story was very close to one of his sisters, so he felt strongly about her financial struggles and believed their wealthier sister should help more. After a conversation about family support ended with him making a deeply personal remark, he was left with a bitter feeling and turned to Reddit to find out if he had crossed a line. Readers were quick to confirm his suspicion.
RELATED:
Family finances can become complicated when relatives disagree over who should provide support
A teenager watched his sister struggle financially while their wealthy older sister offered little support
The teenager believed his successful sister should financially support their struggling sibling, but she disagreed
He challenged his sister’s choices, but their argument quickly turned personal and ended their relationship
The young man regretted his words and wondered if he had crossed a line by attacking his sister so personally
Financially successful people often struggle with their families, as a sense of entitlement begins to show among relatives. But economic prosperity does not automatically make you responsible for other adults’ bills.
City National Bank’s wealth planner Joe Goldman recommends always setting clear financial boundaries with family members. He notes that siblings may expect someone with more money to pay for shared expenses. However, the wealthier relative should decide how much they can comfortably give and, most importantly, stick to that limit.
Goldman also points out that generosity without a clear plan can quickly strain family relationships. He advises against leaving the door open to ongoing financial requests, especially when one relative treats another person’s income as family money.
At the same time, large families can also face substantial financial pressure, particularly in the U.S. Giving birth alone can cost thousands of dollars. There is an average cost of $20,416 for pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum services, while a C-section averages nearly $29,000.
The everyday costs continue long after delivery. An American household with children spends an average of $8,809 to $9,780 per month, depending on the children’s ages. Housing, transportation, and food account for much of that spending, making a larger family way more expensive to maintain.
Not every country puts the same financial pressure on parents, though. Oman, Slovenia, Japan, and several European countries are among the more affordable places to raise a family. The factors to consider those countries include living costs, rent, salaries, education, healthcare, and safety.
The opposite extreme can look very different. South Korea ranks as the world’s most expensive country for raising a child to age 18, with costs reaching 7.79 times the country’s GDP per capita. Private education accounted for a particularly large share of household spending.
Indeed, financial pressure can heavily influence people on deciding not to have children, as Catherine Aponte, Psy.D. explains. On the same line, she stresses that choosing a childfree life remains a valid personal decision.
We do not know where the family in this story lives, and we cannot know for sure why the older sister never had children. What we do know is that financial independence gives her the freedom to decide how she uses her money. Earning more than her relatives shouldn’t automatically make her the family’s financial backstop.
Do you think the teen went too far by bringing up his sister’s divorce and her potential as a mother? What would you have done in his place? Share your thoughts in the comments!
The community sided with the older sister and accused the teenager and the entire family of being entitled
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Pollywog 1 month ago
Update: So, it’s been a while, and I know I haven’t answered any comments because I was too ashamed, and I still am. When my parents and sister found out what I said to Miranda, they were absolutely furious. Alice shouted at me so long my ears were ringing. She looked like she was about to rip my head off. You were right. My sisters had a whole life before I came along and I was too immature to understand the dynamics between them. When I look at my post, I am disgusted about my tone and what I assumed was the truth. Because not only was I an absolute a*****e, I was also terribly wrong about a lot of things. Alice never asked for money nor childcare. My parents did that willingly and as I was raised alongside them, they felt more like siblings to me, so I didn’t mind. My family also never painted Miranda as the big villain, that was all just me. Because she was already grown and out of the house most of the time when I was little, I just didn’t have a deeper connection with her. Maybe I was resentful that she was never there, I can’t tell. My parents also didn’t really pester Miranda that she should give money to Alice. They only asked her to chip in for bigger presents, which she always did. I was blinded by my love and concern for Alice that I vilified Miranda. I apologized a hundred times to Miranda. I wrote her letters, tried calling, went to her apartment, but she wouldn’t see me or answer my letters and she is in her right to do so. I hurt her deeply and she doesn’t owe me forgiveness. But the reason I made this update in the first place is some, hopefully, good news for you: Miranda has since moved away with her ex. I don’t have the whole picture, but they are still very much in love. When his family found out Miranda was infertile, they pestered them to no end, and their marriage didn’t withstand that. It was really horrible, which I never knew. My parents said Miranda didn’t want me to know the truth, but now that they are in another country, I hope they can be happy again. Also, please don’t hate on Alice. She is a wonderful person and a very good mother to all of her kids. Her third pregnancy were twins which they didn’t expect and her boyfriend had a vasectomy but they ended up pregnant regardless with baby number five, which has been born in the meantime. Her boyfriend has also got a promotion at work and they can now live more comfortably. I know I am in the wrong and that I have a lot of growing to do. I deserve everything you said in the comments. Maybe one day I can have a relationship with Miranda again, but on her terms. If you want to know anything else, let me know. I promise to answer to as many comments as I can.
JB 1 month ago (edited)
Thanks for sharing this. I was very much hoping that OP had seen the light after the torrent of YTA. Knowing his family, including Alice, also set him straight is a pleasant bonus. It serves as a reminder that people (especially teens) will often see “unfairness” without knowing or understanding the context, complexities or nuances. Lack of knowledge isn’t their fault when information has been withheld because they are too young &/or it’s not their business. Empathy is both an integral trait and the result of life experience, of which he has none as an adult. He had plenty of empathy for Alice, who he could see struggling. None for Miranda, as all he saw was her success from the outside and her mask of doing ok. He couldn’t see her pain at being infertile, the despair of losing her marriage to outside pressure. It also serves as a reminder to take everything an OP says with a “grain of salt”. The things he said about his parents saying Miranda should contribute money monthly were a misinterpretation of them asking her to chip in for larger gifts. So nice to read he learned some, grew up some, and his family were not as bad as he portrayed.
Load More Replies...
TonjaLasagne 1 month ago
I do believe that this is the very first time that I have sided with ALL of the YTAs!!!
Crystalwitch60 1 month ago
I’m with all the YTAS ! why should the older sister pay for Alice’s kids ffs maybe Alice should use birth control ,and quit having kids she can’t afford ,,it’s nothing to do with op what so ever, and what he said was downright cruel !
Pollywog 1 month ago
Update: So, it’s been a while, and I know I haven’t answered any comments because I was too ashamed, and I still am. When my parents and sister found out what I said to Miranda, they were absolutely furious. Alice shouted at me so long my ears were ringing. She looked like she was about to rip my head off. You were right. My sisters had a whole life before I came along and I was too immature to understand the dynamics between them. When I look at my post, I am disgusted about my tone and what I assumed was the truth. Because not only was I an absolute a*****e, I was also terribly wrong about a lot of things. Alice never asked for money nor childcare. My parents did that willingly and as I was raised alongside them, they felt more like siblings to me, so I didn’t mind. My family also never painted Miranda as the big villain, that was all just me. Because she was already grown and out of the house most of the time when I was little, I just didn’t have a deeper connection with her. Maybe I was resentful that she was never there, I can’t tell. My parents also didn’t really pester Miranda that she should give money to Alice. They only asked her to chip in for bigger presents, which she always did. I was blinded by my love and concern for Alice that I vilified Miranda. I apologized a hundred times to Miranda. I wrote her letters, tried calling, went to her apartment, but she wouldn’t see me or answer my letters and she is in her right to do so. I hurt her deeply and she doesn’t owe me forgiveness. But the reason I made this update in the first place is some, hopefully, good news for you: Miranda has since moved away with her ex. I don’t have the whole picture, but they are still very much in love. When his family found out Miranda was infertile, they pestered them to no end, and their marriage didn’t withstand that. It was really horrible, which I never knew. My parents said Miranda didn’t want me to know the truth, but now that they are in another country, I hope they can be happy again. Also, please don’t hate on Alice. She is a wonderful person and a very good mother to all of her kids. Her third pregnancy were twins which they didn’t expect and her boyfriend had a vasectomy but they ended up pregnant regardless with baby number five, which has been born in the meantime. Her boyfriend has also got a promotion at work and they can now live more comfortably. I know I am in the wrong and that I have a lot of growing to do. I deserve everything you said in the comments. Maybe one day I can have a relationship with Miranda again, but on her terms. If you want to know anything else, let me know. I promise to answer to as many comments as I can.
JB 1 month ago (edited)
Thanks for sharing this. I was very much hoping that OP had seen the light after the torrent of YTA. Knowing his family, including Alice, also set him straight is a pleasant bonus. It serves as a reminder that people (especially teens) will often see “unfairness” without knowing or understanding the context, complexities or nuances. Lack of knowledge isn’t their fault when information has been withheld because they are too young &/or it’s not their business. Empathy is both an integral trait and the result of life experience, of which he has none as an adult. He had plenty of empathy for Alice, who he could see struggling. None for Miranda, as all he saw was her success from the outside and her mask of doing ok. He couldn’t see her pain at being infertile, the despair of losing her marriage to outside pressure. It also serves as a reminder to take everything an OP says with a “grain of salt”. The things he said about his parents saying Miranda should contribute money monthly were a misinterpretation of them asking her to chip in for larger gifts. So nice to read he learned some, grew up some, and his family were not as bad as he portrayed.
Load More Replies... TonjaLasagne 1 month ago
I do believe that this is the very first time that I have sided with ALL of the YTAs!!!
Crystalwitch60 1 month ago
I’m with all the YTAS ! why should the older sister pay for Alice’s kids ffs maybe Alice should use birth control ,and quit having kids she can’t afford ,,it’s nothing to do with op what so ever, and what he said was downright cruel !
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