Mom Has To Deal With CPS After Losing Her Husband Thanks To BIL, Can’t Forgive Him

In-law relationships don’t always have to be complicated. However, it only takes one overbearing relative who lacks respect for boundaries to ruin everything and create a rift within the family. 

A woman dealt with this headache with her brother-in-law, who demanded more time with her children. When she refused, he called Child Protective Services out of spite. The worst part is that it all happened while she grieved the loss of her husband. 

All her in-laws have since piled on her, pushing her to ask the internet for answers. 

A woman was at odds with her brother-in-law, who disrespected her boundaries

A smiling woman with two daughters, representing a spiteful accusation context.

Image credits: Alena Darmel / Pexels (not the actual photo)

It began when he demanded to spend more time with her children

A woman discusses her brother-in-law calling CPS on her without cause, amid family difficulties and loss.

In-laws visiting, brother-in-law often seeing girls, unable to have kids due to wife's medical issues.

Text discussing a woman's experience with her BIL criticizing her parenting and wanting guardianship.

A woman looking distressed while a man argues in the background, highlighting a conflict involving CPS accusations.

Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo) 

After she refused, the BIL called Child Protective Services out of spite

Text about someone demanding childcare arrangements, questioning the woman's parenting.

Text describing a woman's conflict with BIL, who unjustly called CPS on her.

Text discussing a surprise CPS visit and family issues, related to a woman accused of being spiteful.

A stressed woman in a floral dress holds her head in frustration at a desk.

Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Eventually, all of her in-laws began piling on her

Text conversation about brother-in-law and in-laws discussing children and family issues.

Text message about refusing access to children after BIL's actions, with in-laws claiming it's out of spite.

Text discussing a woman's struggle with work-life balance and issues with her brother-in-law acting spitefully.

Text describing family conflict and emotions after CPS involvement by brother-in-law.

Image credits: Aita6096

Image credits: Edmond Dantès / Pexels (not the actual photo)

People act out of spite to gratify their egos when they feel wronged

The brother-in-law was willing to put the woman and her children in a potentially traumatic situation just because she said no to his request. He was seemingly letting his spiteful feelings get the best of him. 

Author and former clinical psychologist Dr. Leon F. Seltzer says spiteful acts are comparable to addictive syndromes and carry an addictive sensation. In an article for Psychology Today, he explains that spiteful behavior can “soothe a dysphoric state of mind” because it can be both “mood-changing” and “consciousness-altering.” 

Dr. Seltzer adds that people are willing to go to great lengths to satisfy their spiteful urges, even if it means blowing things out of proportion and causing immense damage. It’s likely why the brother-in-law went as far as calling Child Protective Services to put the woman in a difficult situation. 

“It’s to gain a mental or emotional advantage over the other, and, given what’s driving the behavior, considerations of how it might negatively affect your own welfare simply fade from view,” Dr. Seltzer wrote. 

The brother-in-law’s behavior, unfortunately, caused more pain to the woman, who was still grieving her husband’s passing. It forced her to set boundaries, which sent a message that she wasn’t tolerating his actions. 

Experts like licensed marriage and family therapist Michelle Landeros advise adjusting interactions, such as limiting visits. As she tells The Knot, it “respects family bonds while maintaining comfortable boundaries.” 

The woman was within her rights to forbid her brother-in-law to visit her children, given how traumatic the CPS episode must’ve been for her. Unfortunately, it created family drama that added to her heartbreak and grief. 

The woman provided more information in the comments

Text exchange discussing CPS recommendations on balancing work and childcare, shared on a public forum.

Comment thread discussing childcare routine when the woman is at work; involves assistance from grandparents.

Reddit conversation about a woman being accused of spite by brother-in-law who reports her to CPS.

Text exchange discussing accusations against a woman by her BIL related to CPS involvement.

Many readers condemned the BIL for his actions

Reddit comment about a BIL falsely accusing a woman of being spiteful and calling CPS without a reason.

Text advising a woman wrongly accused and facing spiteful allegations by BIL who calls CPS without reason.

Comment discussing in-laws and parental protection amid spiteful accusations.

Reddit comment defending woman accused by brother-in-law of spitefulness after false CPS call.

Comment discussing BIL's predatory behavior and suggesting a restraining order.

Comment criticizing BIL for calling CPS unjustly, supporting woman's stance and depicting BIL as problematic.

Comment text discussing spite and CPS accusations on social media.

Text exchange about a woman's brother-in-law calling CPS without reason, causing family stress.

Text discusses brother-in-law using CPS against a woman, impacting family harmony.

Reddit comment discussing a spiteful accusation involving CPS and guardianship issues.

Reddit comment criticizing a man's actions involving CPS against a woman.

Comment reads: "NTA. He was acting out of spite because he wasn't given guardianship.

However, some faulted the author for refusing her in-laws to help despite being “overworked” 

Reddit comment discussing family neglect and CPS involvement with brother-in-law.

Text of a social media comment discussing a woman's situation with CPS and her brother-in-law's concerns.

Comment discussing a woman accused of being spiteful, mentioning CPS involvement by her brother-in-law.

Reddit comment criticizing a woman, discussing children and CPS involvement, expressing concern over family relationships.

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