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23YO Instantly Regrets Moving In With 32YO BF, Realizes He Only Wanted A Full-Time Maid And Nanny
Woman cooking with children in kitchen, highlighting nanny with benefits concept and relationship challenges.

23YO Instantly Regrets Moving In With 32YO BF, Realizes He Only Wanted A Full-Time Maid And Nanny

Interview With Expert

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Sometimes, the dating world can actually be quite scary because you never know who you’ll end up with. If luck is on your side, you find the perfect partner; if not, you may end up with someone who seems amazing but slowly reveals their true colors.

Just look at this woman who thought she had met an awesome guy, only to be surprised when he asked her to move in after just two months of dating. Once they started living together, she quickly realized his ulterior motive behind it all. Read on to find out what it was!

More info: Reddit

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    The dating world is like hunting rare gems; sometimes you find a precious one, other times, it’s just a fake

    Image credits: cookie_studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The 23-year-old poster had only been dating her 32-year-old boyfriend for 2 months when he asked her to move in with him

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    Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    He promised that they would do more hikes and cycling as they would have more time if they lived together, but that never happened

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    Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    In fact, he turned her into a maid who cooked and cleaned for him, while also babysitting his two kids, and all he did was play video games

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    Image credits: angel_nt / Freepik  (not the actual photo)

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    He also asked her to pay her own bills, along with $500 rent, and she was frustrated by how he ignored his and his kids’ physical health

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    Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    She finally had enough and left him, even though he begged her not to, but her life was much better after ditching him

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    He even blamed her for him sleeping with one of his exes, but she didn’t care as she was living her best life, going on trips and hikes like she always wanted

    In today’s story, the 23-year-old original poster (OP) tells us about her troubled relationship. She met her 32-year-old boyfriend through a mutual friend, and the two hit it off immediately. He was a father of two kids, and both of them had common interests like hiking and physical activities. Much to her surprise, though, he asked her to move in with him after just 2 months of dating.

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    He somehow convinced her that they would be able to spend more time and do a lot of activities together, so she finally relented. However, things took a turn for the worse after she moved in. He literally turned her into a maid by dumping all the domestic chores on her, like cleaning and cooking. She was also an unpaid nanny for his kids, as she constantly babysat them.

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    All this time, the man was just a couch potato, playing video games for almost 6 to 8 hours straight. Meanwhile, he also had the audacity to ask her to pay $500 rent, which was too much for her, considering that she was a part-time student. Moreover, despite all the physical activities that he had promised, they didn’t do a single thing for four months, so she finally reached her breaking point.

    After she vented online, Redditors gave her a reality check about the toxic moocher who was just using her. Well, to everyone’s delight, she updated that she had finally left him, even when he begged her not to. In fact, he even blamed her for his mistake, but she was just done with him. Not only was she super happy with her life, but she also had trips and hikes planned out!

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    Image credits: ArtPhoto_studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    “When a younger person dates someone older with kids, they can accidentally slide into the ‘step-parent’ or ‘live-in helper’ role without even realizing it. Things move fast, the older partner already has a whole routine, and the younger partner just wants to be supportive and helpful,” explained Eden Lobo, a counselor and psychology professor that Bored Panda interviewed.

    She also narrated that most people don’t notice it’s happening until they’re exhausted or feeling like they’ve lost themselves. It’s super common, and psychologists see this dynamic all the time, she added. We also conversed with our expert about the impact that the man’s behavior can have on the poster, and she said that it can be quite concerning.

    “His gendered jokes, unequal labor, and built-in expectations may often lead to her carrying the emotional load. This can leave her feeling overwhelmed, undervalued, and unsure of what a healthy relationship looks like. Even her self-esteem can take a hit, as she may feel appreciated only for chores or caretaking rather than for who she is as a person,” Prof. Lobo noted.

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    She further emphasized that it can also affect her sense of identity and personal growth. Instead of having time for hobbies, goals, or her own life, she’s focused on managing his responsibilities. Prof. Lobo believes that this can lead to burnout, exhaustion, and learning harmful patterns like over-giving or ignoring red flags.

    Well, just like netizens, I am definitely glad that OP took such a bold stance and ditched him for good. What are your thoughts about it? Let us know in the comments!

    Folks online were truly glad to see that she left the toxic man who only wanted a free nanny and maid

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    Rutuja Dumbre

    Rutuja Dumbre

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hey, am Rutuja! A storyteller at heart and a writer at Bored Panda. I have a strange love for words, and I mostly survive on coffee which is the driving force behind my writing. I enjoy working on articles that purely entertain our readers. When am not writing or trekking, you can find me staying up late and watching all the matches of Football Club Barcelona!

    Read less »
    Rutuja Dumbre

    Rutuja Dumbre

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hey, am Rutuja! A storyteller at heart and a writer at Bored Panda. I have a strange love for words, and I mostly survive on coffee which is the driving force behind my writing. I enjoy working on articles that purely entertain our readers. When am not writing or trekking, you can find me staying up late and watching all the matches of Football Club Barcelona!

    What do you think ?
    Vinnie
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Look what you made me do - I had to sleep with an ex-fling!" And sadly, he had to sleep with one who doesn't do nannying, housekeeping, and hand over half her salary.

    LongFang
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good thing she left him. She was Nanny + Housemaid + Roomate + benefits.

    🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love the fact that he wanted her to pay him on top of everything else!

    Load More Replies...
    Suzie
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She thought moving in with someone after only two months was a great idea? They should teach a class on common sense in school. smh.

    Vinnie
    Community Member
    3 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Moving in after two months isn't great, but on the other hand, he wasted far less of her time than waiting six months to drop the mask and treat her like a full-time maid.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    Vinnie
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Look what you made me do - I had to sleep with an ex-fling!" And sadly, he had to sleep with one who doesn't do nannying, housekeeping, and hand over half her salary.

    LongFang
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good thing she left him. She was Nanny + Housemaid + Roomate + benefits.

    🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love the fact that he wanted her to pay him on top of everything else!

    Load More Replies...
    Suzie
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She thought moving in with someone after only two months was a great idea? They should teach a class on common sense in school. smh.

    Vinnie
    Community Member
    3 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Moving in after two months isn't great, but on the other hand, he wasted far less of her time than waiting six months to drop the mask and treat her like a full-time maid.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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