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The majority of conversations that people have are probably pretty mundane. We chat about the weather, what our plans for the weekend are, what albums we’ve been listening to recently, and what we plan on making for dinner. But every now and then, you’ll hear something so wild that it immediately stops you in your tracks. Those are the moments that this article is dedicated to.
We took a trip to the Brand New Sentence subreddit and gathered some of their most amusing posts below. From quotes that will make you burst into laughter to posts that might simply perplex you, we hope you enjoy scrolling through this strange list. And be sure to upvote the sentences that you can’t believe actually humans wrote!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Popea Johns
Michael Largey 1 day ago
No, Papa John is just doing another one of his cross burnings in the back parking lot.
RELATED:
#2
Farms Use More Water Than AI Data Centers
#3
Oil Doesn't Work When The Strait Of Hormuz Isn't Hormuz'ing
In this day and age, it’s easy to feel like you’ve seen it all. Thanks to the 24-hour news cycle and having access to unlimited information online, almost nothing can shock us anymore. But if someone is creative enough, they might still be able to get a reaction out of you. And when you finally get to experience that feeling of surprise, it will probably be extremely refreshing.
According to Greater Good Magazine, humans actually need some surprises in their lives. Experiencing them activates the dopamine system in our brains, allowing us to focus our attention and inspiring us to see the situation from a new perspective.
#4
You Gotta Log Into Your Other Kidney And Click The "Log Out On All Other Devices" Button
#5
Turned Around To Return The Child Safely, Cussed The Parents Out For Leaving The Baby Alone, Then Hopped Back In The Car
#6
"You Don't Know The Struggle Until You Run Out Of Toilet Paper And Everyone In Your House Is Deaf"
In their book Surprise: Embrace the Unpredictable and Engineer the Unexpected, Tania Luna and Leeann Renninger break down the four stages of our surprise response. These include freeze, find, shift, and share.
First, we stop in our tracks when we see a surprise; then, we try to understand what’s going on. Next, we begin to shift our perspective, and finally, we feel pulled to share the surprise with others.
#7
It Is Very Rare To Catch Wild Buses Drinking Water
#8
Rattle A Tampon Out Of A Nun
#9
Unsubscribe From Economy And Become A Decorative Gargoyle
If you’re wondering how to invite more surprise and wonder into your life, Luna and Renninger have some tips. First, you have to “reframe vulnerability as openness and take deliberate steps to be more vulnerable.”
While many people tend to stay closed off and avoid vulnerability, that makes it impossible to ever be caught off guard and surprised. But once you learn how to view that openness in a positive light, you’ll be able to experience all of the joy that can come along with wonderful surprises.
#10
Ur The Gay Factory
That’s all I yam 23 hours ago
From National Library: "The authors investigated the role of homosexual arousal in exclusively heterosexual men who admitted negative affect toward homosexual individuals." "Both groups exhibited increases in [arousal] to the heterosexual and female homosexual videos. Only the homophobic men showed an increase in [arousal] to male homosexual stimuli. The groups did not differ in aggression. Homophobia is apparently associated with homosexual arousal that the homophobic individual is either unaware of or denies." (Is homophobia associated with homosexual arousal? National Library of Medicine NIH)
#11
Friends Or Bra? What Will You Choose
Peter Bear 1 day ago
Why does the little mermaid wear seashells? Because B shells are too small and D shells are too big.
#12
I’m Tired Of Picking Up My 3year-Old Uncle From Daycare
Chrystina Sumpter 1 day ago
My Dad had an aunt that was @ 15 years younger than him. It was weird.
Another way to make sure you’re being surprised more often is by participating in activities where you have no idea what the outcome will be. Don’t be scared to take risks. Ask your boss for that raise, ask out the neighbor you’ve been crushing on for months, and don’t be scared to enter that competition. You really never know what could happen. And while surprises won’t always be good, it’s worth it to take those risks. It’s a lot better than being bored!
#13
Global-Scale Fully Weaponized Autistic Pedantry
Chrystina Sumpter 1 day ago
Yes, because Wikipedia actually requires “facts” be cited to sources.
#14
"For A Split Second I Thought Something Had Gone Terribly, Biblically Wrong With My Cat"
#15
Scotland's First Baby Capybara In 20 Years Somehow Looks Scottish
If you’re having a hard time finding the courage to start branching out and taking big risks, Luna and Renninger recommend making a “struggle sandwich.” This is when you sprinkle small risks that are more likely to have a positive outcome in between the bigger, scarier risks. This way, you’ll experience little confidence boosts more frequently, and the surprises that don’t pan out won’t feel as devastating. Over time, you’ll build resilience, and you’ll start to feel less afraid of taking huge risks.
#16
Beef Wellington Is Just A Corn Dog From A Different Socioeconomic Background
#17
"Delighted To Discover That Nature Has Evolved A Bat That Looks Exactly Like A Jam Doughnut"
#18
Romanian Court Rejects Man's Claim That He's Alive
Michael Largey 1 day ago
Well, Romania does have a bit of history of residents who were not alive - but not d**d either. I'm betting that this guy doesn't drink .. wine.
Most of us lost a lot of our childlike curiosity and wonder after we became adults, but we urge you to channel that part of you once again, pandas. Walk down that street near your home that you’ve never passed through before. Ask your colleagues questions about their hobbies that you know nothing about. Pick up a book that you would have never thought to read before. Surprises aren’t always going to find us; sometimes we have to seek them out.
#19
Used His Girlfriend As A Step And Tunnelled Into A Lion Enclosure
A honey badger named Stoffel piled rocks, used his girlfriend as a step, and tunneled into the lion enclosure-just to pick fights
#20
I Like When A Baby Animal Is Just A Shrunken Version Of The Adult Animal
That’s all I yam 1 day ago
Yep! When my guinea pig had her litter, two things amazed me: 1) they looked like smaller versions of adults; 2) within a couple of hours, they were exploring the cage.
#21
Slur For Theatre People
In a similar vein, another way to experience more surprise in your life is by mixing up your routine. Try a new restaurant, take a new route to work, and try a new hobby that you’ve never done before. Life becomes boring and starts passing extremely quickly when we know exactly what to expect and are exposed to the same people and places every day. But once you start to spice things up, you’ll begin craving that feeling of newness and surprise!
#22
Rat Software On Bird Hardware
That’s all I yam 22 hours ago
Symbol of the Royal New Zealand Air Force. If you want to see something incredible, search: Images: X-ray of kiwi with egg
#23
Chicken Bird For Lunch
#24
“Tiktokers Are Speedrunning Scientology Buildings In Los Angeles”
Are you enjoying this list of sentences that were more than likely brand new, pandas? Keep upvoting the ones that surprise you the most, and let us know in the comments below if you’ve said anything recently that you think deserves a spot in this article. Then, if you’d like to continue checking out posts from the Brand New Sentence subreddit, look no further than right here!
#25
Attempting To "Baptize" An Alligator In A Waffle House Using A Pitcher Of Iced Tea
#26
Are You Putting Milk In My Milk??!
Michael Largey 1 day ago
W.C. Fields often brough a thermos full of booze to film sets, claiming it was orange juice. One day the crew switched it for an identical one actually filled with orange juice. When Fields tasted it, he demanded "Who the hell put orange juice in my orange juice?"
#27
The Japanese Are Years Ahead Of Us In Ice Cream Sandwich Technology
#28
Never Seen Someone Get Excommunicated By A Community Note
Optimus Octopus 1 day ago
People want religion to conform to their beliefs, not the other way around.
#29
Not The Birth Controli
#30
“Great So Now We’re Optimising Llm Costs By Inventing Employees Again”
Optimus Octopus 1 day ago
This is hilarious because Pete Hegseth says we’re supposed to use AI for everything now.
#31
I Am Fam Of Steaks But I Haven't Tried Medium Alive
#32
Pope Leo Asks Priests To Stop Using Artificial Intelligence To Write Sermons
#33
Please Tell Your Father The Refrigerator Is Not A Casino
#34
Vibrating Like A Nokia 3220
#35
"Politician Who Said He Had Dwarfism, Resigns After Passport Leak Shows He's Actually A Child"
#36
She Gave Blue Blob Life And Is Being Punished
#37
My Dad Is A Man And My Mom Is A Woman So I Am Mixed
#38
I Present To You Indian And Japanese Jesus
Michael Largey 22 hours ago
God created us in His own image, and out of simple courtesy we return the favor.
#39
The Hacker Is Very Nice And I Like Talking To Him More
#40
"Antarctica Has A Blood Waterfall And An Underground Volcano, And Yet The Scariest Place On The Planet Continues To Be The Hr Department Of Some Companies"
#41
"I Flirt For Fun And Panic When It Works"
#42
“An Emergency Anti-Goblin Patch Was Recently Released”
David Paterson 1 day ago (edited)
I've been expecting this :-( When you have a GIGO system with positive feedback loops, something like this is guaranteed to happen.
#43
That's A Loopholemobile
Phantom Phoenix 22 hours ago
I'm guessing the loophole is, "how tf is that classified as a bike?"
#44
Chocolate Wellington
#45
Penguin Ragebating
#46
I Left The Church As A Teenager After A Lady Spoke In Tongues And Said She’s Received A Vision From God That I Wasn’t Allowed To Wear Simpsons Merchandise To Youth Group Anymore
#47
Korean Jesus Wont Stop Ascending
#48
Never Occurred To Me That Camels Could Be Wild I Thought They All Had Jobs
#49
“I Was, Like, A Karate-Kicking Cowardly Lion.
#50
22 Year Old Model Got A Nose Job So Her Future Children Would Inherit Her New Nose
#51
"I Hunt Poor People For Sport In My Personal Hedge Maze"
#52
Traveling Coconut Scientists
#53
Her Eyes Are So Far Apart To Avoid Attacks From The Proletariat
#54
Dry Ass Kid's CeraVe
#55
Laid Off From An Internship
#56
"In Venice The Pollution Has Reduced So Much That Even Louis Vuitton Bags Are Starting To Swim Again"
#57
It's A Fascinating Thing To Watch The Youth Reinvent Lolcats From Base Principles
#58
Assembled The Late-Night Shrimp That My Blood Relative Gave Me As A Birthday Gift
Dragon Ashes 10 hours ago
Lego is amazing. My husband went to Brickworld this year and brought back pics of amazingly realistic sculptures. The one of the mixer was my favorite.
#59
I Own Eleven Properties In The Metaverse
#60
“What’s The Closest Drink You Have To A Chicken Nugget”
Michael Largey 1 day ago
How about some Wild Turkey Bourbon? Or a little Old Crow whiskey? Grey Goose vodka? Whatever you drink, make sure afterwards that you really have a reason for crossing that road and look both ways.
#61
Boarding This Morning’s Flight With My Emotional Support Trout
#62
“The Forbes 30 Under 30 To Prison Pipeline Is My Roman Empire.”
#63
My Boyfriend (Urn) Is Finally Meeting My Mom (Box)
#64
One Trained Falcon Making 60 Attack Sorties A Day Can Protect 100,000 Solar Panels From Vengeful Crows
43Duckies 1 day ago
Wait, why are the crows attacking the solar panels with stones? If they were dropping nuts from high up to crack the shells I would understand that they're just following a feeding instinct (when my parents lived near the ocean their roof was constantly littered with broken shells dropped by seagulls and picked clean), but why do they want to destroy the solar panels?
#65
“Need To Lose Some Weight So I Can Be Plus Size”
#66
Baby Keeps Scare Maxxing Himself
#67
Gay For The Sandman
#68
They Legally Cannot Call It A Burger
#69
Feels Like We’re Gonna Have One Of Those Fun Days We Refer To Numerically Real Soon
#70
Straight Men Would Do Everything Gay Men Do If Straight Men Could But Straight Men Can't Because Women Won't
Teutonic Disaster 4 hours ago (edited)
It means that men are generally more, shall we say, séxually adventurous compared to women. Since gay men can live that out with each other, straight men envy them, since straight women aren't, overall, as DTF as gay men, for various reasons. ETA: Dan Savage is a well known séx advice columnist amd initiator of the "It gets better" campaign and that's one of his most famous quotes.
Load More Replies...
Roxy222uk 23 hours ago
Research has shown that women are as down for séx with a stranger as men are, but they have to feel that they will be safe first. So that’s all down to straight men.
Emma Novotny 6 hours ago
Funny he emphasizes straight men but he won't say straight women. Just women. 🙄
Teutonic Disaster 4 hours ago
Lesbian women aren't really relevant in the scenario that Dan Savage's quote is alluding to. Apart from that I wouldn't be surprised to learn that lesbian women are less often in open relationships compared to straight people or gay men.
Load More Replies... Norm Gilmore 18 hours ago
That she's her own person and doesn't need sanctimonious judgement from the internet?
Load More Replies...
#71
Bro Thinks They Can Just Mad Max A Couple Million Barrels Of Crude Through The Deserts Of Oman Every Day
#72
Girlfriend Caught Cheating With Her Cousin Thanks To Camera On Cat's Litterbox
#73
Not Gaga Getting Handed A Whole Box Of Antidepressants To Sign
#74
Incredible That Barcelona Has A Wario Next Door
#75
I Never Considered We Could Get Animals Addicted To Gambling This Is Huge
Phantom Phoenix 21 hours ago
The word "a******d" is not OK in the post, or in comments; but is OK when a BP author puts it in the heading?
#76
It's Lesbians That Look Like 12 Year Old Boys
#77
They Were Parading Elmo's Head Around On A Pike Last Night
#78
How Bad Is The Food In The UK To Where Golden Corral Is A Revelation?
#79
Low Socks Are A Sensory Nightmare From Hell Designed By Hitlerian Disciples
CallMeKat13 1 day ago
I will now scream at this image. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
#80
"Pope Leo XIV Denied My Facebook Friend Request"
#81
I Don’t Understand Why Every Time I Cook Steaks They End Up Taking A Shape Of A Bowl Please
#82
“I'm Charging The Solar Battery Of My Graphing Calculator Using My Smartphone”
CallMeKat13 1 day ago
🫣 this is what the world is coming to. You have a calculator on your phone, why, just why.
#83
« South Koreans Getting Pregnant Is Almost As Big A Deal As Pandas Breeding In Captivity »
LinkTheHylian 4 hours ago (edited)
51.6 million people in South Korea. Take away however many who weren't born there and that's still a hefty chunk of couples getting pregnant. Also, a panda won't mate because it only does three things: eats, shoots, and leaves.
#84
If You Are A Woman , But You're Becoming A Man, Do You Get Horny From Your Own Tits?
#85
And Yes I Don’t Clean The Pan Because It Helps Add Flavor To The Chicken
#86
"Evil Space Brazilians"
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Radek Suski 1 day ago
Whoever wrote the captions for each picture should be forced to read every single word of this article at least ten times.
Phantom Phoenix 21 hours ago
Whoever wrote the captions for each picture should be forced to read every single word of this article at least ten times.
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Radek Suski 1 day ago
Whoever wrote the captions for each picture should be forced to read every single word of this article at least ten times.
Phantom Phoenix 21 hours ago
Whoever wrote the captions for each picture should be forced to read every single word of this article at least ten times.
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