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The day of your proposal is one you’ll remember for the rest of your life, usually filled with love, romance, and joy. But for some people, it becomes unforgettable for all the wrong reasons.
Redditor u/Cautious-Rabbit recently opened up to the ‘True Off My Chest’ community about the traumatizing events that were seemingly part of a proposal plan. She was fake-kidnapped and brought to her boyfriend, but instead of a romantic look on her face, the woman was flushed with fear after the mortifying experience. Scroll down to find the story in her own words.
RELATED:
Hardly any fear-inducing scenario feels less stressful when it’s considered “a joke”
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
This woman was fake-kidnapped for a proposal that left her shaking with fear
Image credits: Kipras Zabeliauskas (not the actual photo)
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Cautious-Rabbit-
Image credits: Anastasia Shuraeva (not the actual photo)
Any proposal requires thorough planning, as every detail has to be carefully considered
Most of the people who want to get married have likely dreamt about the perfect proposal. Whether it’s you getting down on one knee or being on the receiving end, you might have created all kinds of possible scenarios in your head. In such plots, you have to think through hundreds of details, as so many things depend not only on you but on what you believe your partner would like as well.
Some people choose something romantic and intimate, often involving flowers and candles. Others go for a more adventurous option, and propose on a hike or right after they’re done with white water rafting. There are also people who enjoy the excitement of a large crowd and pop the question during a basketball game, for instance. The possibilities are endless, which is why a few might choose to do it in a more unconventional way.
The OP’s boyfriend had planned a proposal that involved fake kidnapping, which ended up being far from the most well-thought-out plan. Likely arranged for the element of surprise before the romantic moment, the kidnapping was not only shocking but completely terrifying as well. By the time she was taken to her boyfriend, the woman was understandably stressed and scared out of her mind.
Image credits: Leah Kelley (not the actual photo)
Stressful events can have a strong negative impact, even if they’re staged or carried out as “a joke”
Experiences like this can seriously traumatize a person. During the year 2021 alone, roughly 195,000 of females under 21 and nearly 63,000 of those over the age of 21 were reported missing in the US. Such numbers make the thought of being kidnapped alone absolutely terrifying, not to mention actually being taken into a stranger’s car.
Such stressful events can have long-term negative effects. Even if they’re fake or deemed “a joke”, a person in the OP’s situation doesn’t know that the threat is not actual, which makes their experience and emotions very much real.
Studies show that the psychological consequences of physical assault often involve strong feelings of anxiety, fear, and anger, as well as depression or hypervigilance. Moreover, research on stressful life events and disease risk pointed out that such events are likely to have a negative impact on one’s physical health as well.
The redditors in the comments provided the OP with much-needed support. Luckily, she also had her sister by her side after the terrifying experience. According to the American Psychological Association, seeking social support from those who empathize with you is one of the best ways to cope with a disaster or other traumatic event.
Bored Panda has reached out to the u/Cautious-Rabbit via Reddit, and we’ll update the article once we hear back from her.
The OP answered some of the redditors’ comments
Members of the online community were very supportive of the woman
What do you think ?
Oskar Hauser 2 years ago
The driver can cooperate and apologize all he wants. He was present. He could have pulled over the car at any time, he could have called the police if he thought he couldn't stop this on his own. This is just despicable.
Joelle Jansen 2 years ago
Exactly, instead of trying to calm them down, he could've literally STOPPED the car get in the back, and explain what's happening. Instead he let his friends assault this woman and scare her half to death.
Load More Replies...
Margaret Shannon 2 years ago
I hope all those involved are prosecuted to the fullest extent. Intentions don’t matter here. She was kidnapped, she was terrorized, she was sexually assaulted, she was abused. Now she is traumatized and forever scarred. It's misogynist, sexist that the “men” thought it would be okay to visit a woman's worst nightmare upon her as a “joke.” This is the behavior that leads women to mistrust all men. She sure as hell can’t trust her fiancé anymore—these people with such poor judgment are his friends? The trauma is compounded by the knowledge that the man who “loved” her and is supposed to take care of her, protect her, orchestrated this assault, this violation. That relationship is ruined. How will she ever be able to trust any man ever again? This woman will suffer lifelong consequences for what they’ve done. I hope they suffer similarly.
SkyBlueandBlack 2 years ago
"This is the behavior that leads women to mistrust all men." Repeated for emphasis.
Load More Replies...
EarthGrowl 2 years ago
I worked at a convience store when I was younger. The store was rather busy, right off interstate. Police and state troopers drove by constantly. Law enforcement and regular customers kept an eye on me because I worked nightshift alone. There was a busy truck stop on the opposite side of interstate so it was never really dark and quiet. I was bored one night and went out to sweep litter from the parking lot. The dumpster was around the side of the building. As I emptied the dust pan in the dumpster, someone grabbed me and slammed me forward into the side of the dumpster. The next seconds are a blur, years of wrestling with my sisters and the neighbor boys taught me to drop towards the ground and I slid down out of his arms. He grabbed the back of my coat and a fist full of hair. I threw myself forward out of my coat and my hair ripped out of the back of my head. I ran. I mangaged to get into the store and lock the door and hit the panic button. (cont)
EarthGrowl 2 years ago
The police arrived in a matter of minutes they flooded the parking lot. When they played back the store video's you could see someone peaking in the window watching me before I went outside. I saw his face in the video, he had disappeared into the woods behind the store and police didn't catch him. A few years later I saw his face on T.V. it was Samuel Little one of the most prolific serial killers in America. You never know what might happen and escape isn't always guaranteed. A self defense course is always in a woman's best interest.
Load More Replies...
Casey McAlister 2 years ago
I think her bf bullshitting her. Maybe he didn't know they would threaten her and sexually assault her, but they definitely were planning to stage a kidnapping. It doesn't make sense to dress like kidnappers if they were supposed only to hand her a letter and give her a ride. So, he's a jerk anyway, we just don't know the extent of his jerkiness
Margaret Shannon 2 years ago
He's certainly a man with poor judgment. These misogynistic sexist nulls think traumatizing a woman is fun? A “joke”? Definitely a poor marriage risk.
Load More Replies...
kath morgan 2 years ago
“I was never in any danger”, it was beyond dangerous… you were harmed.
Scott Rackley 2 years ago
Danger implies something that may happen, this was something that was happening.
Load More Replies...
Best Behave 2 years ago (edited)
I wonder if the toe rags trying to pick holes in this story are the same that automatically disbelieve r@pe victims. I’m as cynical as the next panda, but consider that if you’re wrong this is more high stakes than calling bs on someone getting one over on his boss
hoelti 2 years ago
What people nowadays consider being funny. Holy moly. Unbelievable. I hope those blokes get the punishment they deserve! Actually, this makes me very angry and sad at the same tim, as this traumatic experience probably will lay like a dark shadow over her entire life now. Imagine, every time she goes for a run now (if she will do) and a fkn SUV passes her. FFS.
Kim Johnson 2 years ago
If it was a "joke "and you were in no harm, why didn't the friends, especially the one you know, stop the madness, and let you know what was going on. F**k the surprise. That was already ruined.
Rachel Ann 2 years ago
I fought off a rapist when I was a security supervisor. It's terrifying and changes you. I used to be fearless, not anymore. What an awful thing to put this poor woman through. This wasn't a prank or a joke, it was a crime that victimized somebody, probably for life, that neeeds to be held accountable for, both criminally and civilly. My assault happened 10 years ago, I still struggle with the ptsd. I don't know if I'll ever be the same.
Oskar Hauser 2 years ago
The driver can cooperate and apologize all he wants. He was present. He could have pulled over the car at any time, he could have called the police if he thought he couldn't stop this on his own. This is just despicable.
Joelle Jansen 2 years ago
Exactly, instead of trying to calm them down, he could've literally STOPPED the car get in the back, and explain what's happening. Instead he let his friends assault this woman and scare her half to death.
Load More Replies... Margaret Shannon 2 years ago
I hope all those involved are prosecuted to the fullest extent. Intentions don’t matter here. She was kidnapped, she was terrorized, she was sexually assaulted, she was abused. Now she is traumatized and forever scarred. It's misogynist, sexist that the “men” thought it would be okay to visit a woman's worst nightmare upon her as a “joke.” This is the behavior that leads women to mistrust all men. She sure as hell can’t trust her fiancé anymore—these people with such poor judgment are his friends? The trauma is compounded by the knowledge that the man who “loved” her and is supposed to take care of her, protect her, orchestrated this assault, this violation. That relationship is ruined. How will she ever be able to trust any man ever again? This woman will suffer lifelong consequences for what they’ve done. I hope they suffer similarly.
SkyBlueandBlack 2 years ago
"This is the behavior that leads women to mistrust all men." Repeated for emphasis.
Load More Replies... EarthGrowl 2 years ago
I worked at a convience store when I was younger. The store was rather busy, right off interstate. Police and state troopers drove by constantly. Law enforcement and regular customers kept an eye on me because I worked nightshift alone. There was a busy truck stop on the opposite side of interstate so it was never really dark and quiet. I was bored one night and went out to sweep litter from the parking lot. The dumpster was around the side of the building. As I emptied the dust pan in the dumpster, someone grabbed me and slammed me forward into the side of the dumpster. The next seconds are a blur, years of wrestling with my sisters and the neighbor boys taught me to drop towards the ground and I slid down out of his arms. He grabbed the back of my coat and a fist full of hair. I threw myself forward out of my coat and my hair ripped out of the back of my head. I ran. I mangaged to get into the store and lock the door and hit the panic button. (cont)
EarthGrowl 2 years ago
The police arrived in a matter of minutes they flooded the parking lot. When they played back the store video's you could see someone peaking in the window watching me before I went outside. I saw his face in the video, he had disappeared into the woods behind the store and police didn't catch him. A few years later I saw his face on T.V. it was Samuel Little one of the most prolific serial killers in America. You never know what might happen and escape isn't always guaranteed. A self defense course is always in a woman's best interest.
Load More Replies... Casey McAlister 2 years ago
I think her bf bullshitting her. Maybe he didn't know they would threaten her and sexually assault her, but they definitely were planning to stage a kidnapping. It doesn't make sense to dress like kidnappers if they were supposed only to hand her a letter and give her a ride. So, he's a jerk anyway, we just don't know the extent of his jerkiness
Margaret Shannon 2 years ago
He's certainly a man with poor judgment. These misogynistic sexist nulls think traumatizing a woman is fun? A “joke”? Definitely a poor marriage risk.
Load More Replies... kath morgan 2 years ago
“I was never in any danger”, it was beyond dangerous… you were harmed.
Scott Rackley 2 years ago
Danger implies something that may happen, this was something that was happening.
Load More Replies... Best Behave 2 years ago (edited)
I wonder if the toe rags trying to pick holes in this story are the same that automatically disbelieve r@pe victims. I’m as cynical as the next panda, but consider that if you’re wrong this is more high stakes than calling bs on someone getting one over on his boss
hoelti 2 years ago
What people nowadays consider being funny. Holy moly. Unbelievable. I hope those blokes get the punishment they deserve! Actually, this makes me very angry and sad at the same tim, as this traumatic experience probably will lay like a dark shadow over her entire life now. Imagine, every time she goes for a run now (if she will do) and a fkn SUV passes her. FFS.
Kim Johnson 2 years ago
If it was a "joke "and you were in no harm, why didn't the friends, especially the one you know, stop the madness, and let you know what was going on. F**k the surprise. That was already ruined.
Rachel Ann 2 years ago
I fought off a rapist when I was a security supervisor. It's terrifying and changes you. I used to be fearless, not anymore. What an awful thing to put this poor woman through. This wasn't a prank or a joke, it was a crime that victimized somebody, probably for life, that neeeds to be held accountable for, both criminally and civilly. My assault happened 10 years ago, I still struggle with the ptsd. I don't know if I'll ever be the same.
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