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Boyfriend Erases Months Of Work From Girlfriend’s Whiteboard, She Struggles With What Comes Next
Interview With ExpertWriting a novel is a deeply personal journey. For some, it’s a hobby, but for others, it becomes a part of their identity. And so, when your creative process is suddenly disrupted—especially by someone you trust—it can feel like a personal betrayal.
Today’s Original Poster (OP) had been working on a novel for a while, but when her boyfriend wiped her notes completely off the board because she didn’t have enough time for him, she started to question their relationship.
More info: Reddit
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The worst form of betrayal always comes from the ones you would trust with your life
Image credits: prostooleh / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author had been working on a novel for a year and she made notes on whiteboards so she could always look at them
Image credits: u/10ptfont
Image credits: fahim711 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She returned home one day and saw that her boyfriend had wiped off all her notes
Image credits: u/10ptfont
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When she asked him about it, he admitted to doing it because she didn’t have enough time for him and this came as a surprise to her
Image credits: u/10ptfont
Image credits: olganosova / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She was very upset and so she asked her boyfriend to leave, but she was heartbroken when he made no effort to reach out at all
Image credits: senivpetro / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author ended up speaking with her friend and that was when she realized that she and her boyfriend had unresolved issues
Image credits: u/10ptfont
Image credits: hryshchyshen/ Freepik (not the actual photo)
In an update, she mentioned that she decided to go to her boyfriend’s place so they could talk things over but he was asleep
Image credits: u/10ptfont
Image credits: garetsvisual / Freepik (not the actual photo)
He got very angry with her for waking him up and that was the straw that broke the camel’s back so she ended up leaving
Image credits: u/10ptfont
The author added that she and her boyfriend broke up, but she wasn’t able to write much since the incident
The OP dedicated time to her novel every single day. While most of her manuscript was stored digitally, her whiteboards were an important part of her process, holding the character details and ideas she wanted to keep within sight. Her boyfriend seemed to be in support of her passion as a writer, writing with her and reviewing her notes sometimes.
However, one day, she arrived home to find that everything on her whiteboards had been wiped off completely. Surprisingly, her boyfriend had wiped it all off because, according to him, he felt she was too focused on writing and didn’t have time for him. This came as a surprise to her because he’d never mentioned it before.
For the OP, it wasn’t just about losing notes, but about the lack of communication and respect. It was also the fact that he would go as far as to destroy something that was very important to her just because he needed attention. The OP was deeply upset, so she asked him to leave, but after that, he didn’t call or text.
She felt heartbroken, because their relationship wasn’t a casual one. She and her boyfriend had spent nearly every night together, shared responsibilities, and even looked at engagement rings recently. His family had paid for her college semester, and her family had taken him on vacation. By all accounts, they were serious. But this incident had shaken everything up.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In order to gain more insight into the gravity of the situation, Bored Panda reached out to author Oyinkansola Edem, who expressed empathy towards the OP both as a writer who understands the pain of losing hard work and as someone who has successfully balanced marriage with her writing career.
When asked if it was ever acceptable for a person to destroy something important to their partner in an attempt to get their attention, she was firm: “No, it’s not acceptable in 99% of cases. I’d leave the 1% if it’s something criminal or if it’s something that can jeopardize the safety of the individuals in the relationship.”
She went further to explain that open communication is always the better approach. Instead of resorting to destruction, it’s important to express concerns, discuss feelings, and find a solution together. At this point, we asked if it was possible for personal passions and relationships to thrive together. To this, she responded, “What is most important is the kind of person you are with.”
She explained that both can absolutely thrive together, but setting boundaries is key. She agreed that partners don’t always have to share the same passions, but they should respect each other’s interests. However, if their disapproval becomes toxic or controlling, it may be a sign that the relationship isn’t sustainable.
We asked Edem if this situation is something worth breaking up over, and she explained that if a partner consistently disrespects or undermines your passion, it’s important to consider whether that’s something you can tolerate long-term.
In this case, she described the boyfriend’s as “vindictive and evil,” and highlighted that if he could destroy something so valuable to her now, he just might do worse in the future—such as sabotaging her career. From this perspective, breaking up seems justified.
“However, this is not to say that this isn’t something that can be resolved. It can be,” she added. She emphasized that it can be resolved, especially if it’s a long term relationship. However, this would require the boyfriend to take full responsibility for his actions, recognize the harm he caused, and commit to real change.
The sentiments from netizens largely reflected surprise over the boyfriend’s actions, with many seeing his behavior as a red flag for deeper, more controlling issues in their relationship.
If you could give the OP one piece of advice, what would it be? We would love to hear your thoughts!
Netizens expressed their empathy towards her and pointed out the cruelty of erasing something someone loves
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What do you think ?
Janelle Collard 9 months ago
Anyone who does s**t like that to their BF/GF/SO/wife/hubs. etc., is a controlling person and you should RUN! It will not get better, you can't reason with the person + your life will get more + more limited, like giving you *permission* to breathe.
bElLa sTairZz 9 months ago
the amount of immaturity expressed here is shocking, he is behaving like a toddler having a temper tantrum. going straight to damaging things important to OP rather than bringing up any grievances to her. it's disgusting, and hearing how ready she was to talk about it with him only makes it worse. so glad that she left and hope that she can find someone better, who knows how to have a conversation
Tabitha 9 months ago
Good example of how men sabotage women’s jobs, hobbies, interests, education because we’re focused on something else besides him. Guys, the center of your universe should be able to accommodate more than one person, place, or thing. If yours is too small for that, then you need attitude adjustment and mind expansion. Then again, the fact that you think that sabotaging and/or destroying something we love (or have to do to support ourselves) will only draw us closer to you and make you the only thing in the center of our universes merely illustrates how f****d up your thinking is. If a woman tried some s**t like that on you, I guarantee you’d get her out of your life too. Do better, men.
Surly Scot 9 months ago
Most guys think they're the star of their own Truman Show.
Load More Replies...
Beak Hookage 9 months ago (edited)
"And OP's writing doesn't inspire confidence in her novel ethe" (sic). This coming from someone who cannot even spell the word "either". Screw off, LiraelNix; this is nothing but petty jerkholery and entirely unwarranted. She's writing because she loves it and because it gives meaning to her life. Whether it's a "good book" is entirely irrelevant. Everyone's first novel is likely to be rubbish and I would know. Also, as an author, if anyone did this to my notes and manuscripts and such I wouldn't break up with them. I'd f*****g kill them.
Vinnie 9 months ago
In another post a 20-year-old decided to stay with her negative boyfriend because of her feelings for him. This OP went through the difficulty of a break-up, toughed it out, and came out better for it. It takes patience and fortitude to go through it.
Paula Glasscoe 9 months ago
Yep, through it, not round it is usually the right way.
Load More Replies...
Lee Gilliland 9 months ago
He should now be an ex, motive doesn't matter. He destroyed something of someone else's.
Ethan Boatner 9 months ago
It’s like stealing. The controlling would only get worse. Stay away.Write.
Gozer LeGozerian 9 months ago
Benefits of being older and somewhat wiser is DON'T TAKE S**T FROM NO ONE. Dump that trash and move on.
Janelle Collard 9 months ago
Anyone who does s**t like that to their BF/GF/SO/wife/hubs. etc., is a controlling person and you should RUN! It will not get better, you can't reason with the person + your life will get more + more limited, like giving you *permission* to breathe.
bElLa sTairZz 9 months ago
the amount of immaturity expressed here is shocking, he is behaving like a toddler having a temper tantrum. going straight to damaging things important to OP rather than bringing up any grievances to her. it's disgusting, and hearing how ready she was to talk about it with him only makes it worse. so glad that she left and hope that she can find someone better, who knows how to have a conversation
Tabitha 9 months ago
Good example of how men sabotage women’s jobs, hobbies, interests, education because we’re focused on something else besides him. Guys, the center of your universe should be able to accommodate more than one person, place, or thing. If yours is too small for that, then you need attitude adjustment and mind expansion. Then again, the fact that you think that sabotaging and/or destroying something we love (or have to do to support ourselves) will only draw us closer to you and make you the only thing in the center of our universes merely illustrates how f****d up your thinking is. If a woman tried some s**t like that on you, I guarantee you’d get her out of your life too. Do better, men.
Surly Scot 9 months ago
Most guys think they're the star of their own Truman Show.
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 9 months ago (edited)
"And OP's writing doesn't inspire confidence in her novel ethe" (sic). This coming from someone who cannot even spell the word "either". Screw off, LiraelNix; this is nothing but petty jerkholery and entirely unwarranted. She's writing because she loves it and because it gives meaning to her life. Whether it's a "good book" is entirely irrelevant. Everyone's first novel is likely to be rubbish and I would know. Also, as an author, if anyone did this to my notes and manuscripts and such I wouldn't break up with them. I'd f*****g kill them.
Vinnie 9 months ago
In another post a 20-year-old decided to stay with her negative boyfriend because of her feelings for him. This OP went through the difficulty of a break-up, toughed it out, and came out better for it. It takes patience and fortitude to go through it.
Paula Glasscoe 9 months ago
Yep, through it, not round it is usually the right way.
Load More Replies... Lee Gilliland 9 months ago
He should now be an ex, motive doesn't matter. He destroyed something of someone else's.
Ethan Boatner 9 months ago
It’s like stealing. The controlling would only get worse. Stay away.Write.
Gozer LeGozerian 9 months ago
Benefits of being older and somewhat wiser is DON'T TAKE S**T FROM NO ONE. Dump that trash and move on.
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