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Woman Puts Brakes On Moving In With Wealthy BF, Fears She’ll Be His Butler, Not His Partner
Woman in maid uniform dusting TV screen, reflecting unease related to feeling scared of moving in and changing roles.

Woman Puts Brakes On Moving In With Wealthy BF, Fears She’ll Be His Butler, Not His Partner

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When you are in a relationship, it’s obvious to expect a few things from your partner, especially the most basic ones. I mean, nobody wants to be stuck with people who can’t even look after themselves and always rely on others to do things for them.

This woman is also caught in a similar dilemma, as her super-wealthy boyfriend needs a maid to survive. While their relationship is great, she’s really hesitating moving in with him as she’s afraid of turning into his personal cleaner. Scroll down to find out what really happened!

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    People who are barely able to look after themselves can be really unattractive to others

    Couple sitting on the sand, smiling and embracing, illustrating GF feels uneasy every time BF mentions moving in concerns.

    Image credits: Wavebreak Media / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The poster’s boyfriend comes from a very wealthy family, and he has never lived alone, so he doesn’t know how to look after himself

    Alt text: Person hesitating about moving in with boyfriend, fearing turning into Mommy McBangmaid and relationship changes.

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    Text excerpt about feeling uneasy when boyfriend mentions moving in due to fear of turning into a mommy maid role.

    Text describing boyfriend's low cleanliness standards causing messes, relating to GF feels uneasy moving in and homemaking fears.

    Image credits:

    Man sitting on bed in messy room, feeling uneasy and worried about moving in and relationship concerns.

    Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    Since their relationship got serious, he wants them to live together, but the poster is skeptical, as she fears turning into his maid

    Text discussing GF feeling uneasy about BF mentioning moving in, fearing becoming like Mommy McBangmaid.

    Alt text: Text about GF feeling uneasy when BF mentions moving in and concerns about living together and independence.

    Alt text: Concerned girlfriend feels uneasy about moving in and fears turning into mommy McBangmaid in small apartment life.

    Image credits:

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    Young woman feeling uneasy sitting on sofa, worried about boyfriend mentioning moving in together at home.

    Image credits: user21155762 / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    When she expressed her concerns to him, he suggested that they could hire a cleaner, but the poster finds his laziness very unattractive

    Text showing frustration about partner hiring a cleaner, linking to feelings of responsibility and pride in home maintenance.

    Alt text: Text expressing frustration about feeling scared of turning into a maid when boyfriend mentions moving in.

    Image credits:

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    She just expects him to be self-sufficient, and feels that it’s not asking for much since cleaning up after oneself is not that difficult

    In today’s story, the original poster (OP) shares with us the issue that has popped up like a thorn in her relationship. While the couple has been on and off many times, things have been pretty stable for the past year, and they’ve even gotten serious. The problem is that he is asking her to move in with him, but OP is super skeptical about it, considering his background.

    The man has previously lived with other guys in a completely unhygienic manner, or lived with his extremely wealthy family, who have a maid to even pick up clothes from the floor. Since he has never lived on his own, OP fears that she will turn into his personal cleaner if they live together. She really dreads this, as she prefers a clean place, while he is absolutely lazy.

    Well, the poster knows that he won’t lift a finger to help her out, so she confessed the reason why she’s so hesitant. However, this just angered him a lot, and he suggested hiring a cleaner so she won’t have to do all the work. The guy is missing the whole point of it because she wants her boyfriend to be self-sufficient, rather than just depending on his money to hire someone else.

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    In fact, the poster also explained that his lack of effort to look after himself is actually very unattractive to her. After all, it’s not asking for much, as all he has to do is look up things on YouTube if he can’t do it himself. According to OP, he’s quite a mature and supportive partner, but this negative quality is frustrating her a lot, so she vented online, seeking advice.

    Woman feeling uneasy dusting TV in hotel room, reflecting GF feels uneasy every time BF mentions moving in.

    Image credits: seventyfour / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    Netizens didn’t waste any time in giving her a reality check that her boyfriend sounds like a spoiled manchild, and they flagged down his inability to look after himself. Even experts claim that self-sufficiency is an essential aspect of a person’s well-being, which helps gain a deep-rooted sense of inner completeness and stability.

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    As this is missing, the guy will just rely on the poster for all the little things, in case the cleaner doesn’t show up. Obviously, if all the burden of the chores falls on OP, it’s bound to annoy her at one point. Research suggests that unequal distribution of housework can increase the stress levels of the partner who is doing more. In fact, it can also worsen their mental health and may lead to depression. 

    I guess it’s always better to be cautious than regret things later, right? Many folks pointed out that if she finds these qualities unattractive, then it’s better not to take such a big step. In fact, studies have revealed that 14% of couples break up within a year of moving in together. Looks like Redditors are right about how it would spark more trouble for the poster.

    Many also argued that his anger when she tried to tell him the reason sounds toxic. Instead of admitting his negative qualities and working on them, his go-to solution was splurging money on a cleaner. That does say a lot about him, doesn’t it? No wonder OP is so doubtful about living with him. Wouldn’t you be as well? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section!

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    Netizens advised that if she really finds the manchild unattractive, then moving in with him will only make things worse between them

    Online discussion about feeling uneasy moving in with boyfriend, fearing loss of autonomy and turning into a caretaker.

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    ALT text: Excerpt from a forum where GF feels uneasy every time BF mentions moving in, fearing losing independence and becoming caretaker.

    Discussion about boyfriend lacking motivation and the girlfriend’s unease about moving in and feeling overwhelmed with chores.

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    Reddit discussion about feeling uneasy moving in with boyfriend over fears of becoming like Mommy McBangmaid.

    Text conversation about feeling uneasy with boyfriend mentioning moving in, fearing turning into a mommy figure, and adult skills.

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    Reddit conversation about uneasy feelings moving in together and concerns about turning into a mommy maid in the relationship.

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    Reddit conversation about GF feeling uneasy every time BF mentions moving in, fearing losing independence and role changes.

    Screenshot of an online comment expressing concern about boyfriend moving in due to fear of losing independence.

    Screenshot of an online comment advising to firmly set boundaries about moving in, reflecting GF feels uneasy keyword.

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    Text post discussing relationship issues due to boyfriend’s poor cleanliness, reflecting GF feels uneasy moving in.

    Comment expressing frustration about boyfriend not changing with text about GF feeling uneasy about moving in fears.

    Comment discussing relationship compatibility and concerns about self-sufficiency related to moving in and partnership roles.

    Text post showing a Reddit comment about fixing a toilet, related to GF feeling uneasy when BF mentions moving in.

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    Screenshot of a discussion about uneasy feelings and red flags when considering moving in with a boyfriend in a relationship.

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    Rutuja Dumbre

    Rutuja Dumbre

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hey, am Rutuja! A storyteller at heart and a writer at Bored Panda. I have a strange love for words, and I mostly survive on coffee which is the driving force behind my writing. I enjoy working on articles that purely entertain our readers. When am not writing or trekking, you can find me staying up late and watching all the matches of Football Club Barcelona!

    Read less »
    Rutuja Dumbre

    Rutuja Dumbre

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hey, am Rutuja! A storyteller at heart and a writer at Bored Panda. I have a strange love for words, and I mostly survive on coffee which is the driving force behind my writing. I enjoy working on articles that purely entertain our readers. When am not writing or trekking, you can find me staying up late and watching all the matches of Football Club Barcelona!

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

    Read less »

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

    What do you think ?
    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sorry, what does he actually bring to the table? He sounds lazy, entitled and very immature. Not an adult ready for an actually serious relationship. I'd move on. Not partner material.

    Day Andie
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What does he bring to the table? $$$$ Sometimes money isn't worth it.

    Load More Replies...
    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can't rebuild someone at this age, you gotta take 'em as they are. Period.

    tw 72
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't move in together; you will end up carrying the mental load and the housekeeping load. Move on and find a fully grown adult. *Words of wisdom* - When the adult/adult relationship turns into a parent/child relationship, it kills all respect and sexual attraction.

    sweet emotion
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Here's a good rule of life that so many people ignore: If you are afraid to have an honest discussion for fear of "hurting their feelings / because they are so sensitive" then neither one of you is mature enough for a serious relationship. And another good rule: you cannot and should not expect to change a person. If they do not meet your standards, move on to the next one.

    Bertha Madott
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One reality. If you are a couple who has a cleaning lady ONCE A WEEK you still have to do things daily. It is not possible to avoid laundry, dishes, paying bills, taking out garbage. The WEEKLY cleaning lady vacuums, maybe changes the bed, cleans the bathrooms, BIG JOBS like that. W

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Offend him into maturity. That is all.

    JayWantsACat
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My issue ins't that he grew up privileged, didn't have to do anything himself, and is a stunted adult in that way. It's that OP seemingly can't have a conversation with him about this a very normal concern without him getting upset. It's obviously important to OP and, if nothing else he should want to be able to have a conversation about it with her if he supposedly cares about her. Let alone change his bad habits for someone who will live in the same place as those bad habits.

    LongFang
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Mommy McBangmaid"..... loool

    katiekat0214
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Living apart together is so valid, and is done worldwide. I am 50+, was married twice for 25 years, lived with partners, and have been widowed nearly 10 years now. The only way I would have a partner these days is if he had his own place. I realized that my peace, quiet, freedom, and independence come first, and I absolutely refuse to be a housekeeper for anyone else. Please give this time, so you see how he actually acts. Go on facts, not what he says.

    Gen X Feral
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh lordt she's gonna end up a bang nanny, he's just a spoiled lazy man baby.

    The_Nicest_Misanthrope
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's nothing that'll turn me off faster than a man who's actually no more capable than a toddler. Dump his a*s.

    JL
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If he's wealthy, let him hire an actual butler.

    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sorry, what does he actually bring to the table? He sounds lazy, entitled and very immature. Not an adult ready for an actually serious relationship. I'd move on. Not partner material.

    Day Andie
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What does he bring to the table? $$$$ Sometimes money isn't worth it.

    Load More Replies...
    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can't rebuild someone at this age, you gotta take 'em as they are. Period.

    tw 72
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't move in together; you will end up carrying the mental load and the housekeeping load. Move on and find a fully grown adult. *Words of wisdom* - When the adult/adult relationship turns into a parent/child relationship, it kills all respect and sexual attraction.

    sweet emotion
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Here's a good rule of life that so many people ignore: If you are afraid to have an honest discussion for fear of "hurting their feelings / because they are so sensitive" then neither one of you is mature enough for a serious relationship. And another good rule: you cannot and should not expect to change a person. If they do not meet your standards, move on to the next one.

    Bertha Madott
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One reality. If you are a couple who has a cleaning lady ONCE A WEEK you still have to do things daily. It is not possible to avoid laundry, dishes, paying bills, taking out garbage. The WEEKLY cleaning lady vacuums, maybe changes the bed, cleans the bathrooms, BIG JOBS like that. W

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Offend him into maturity. That is all.

    JayWantsACat
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My issue ins't that he grew up privileged, didn't have to do anything himself, and is a stunted adult in that way. It's that OP seemingly can't have a conversation with him about this a very normal concern without him getting upset. It's obviously important to OP and, if nothing else he should want to be able to have a conversation about it with her if he supposedly cares about her. Let alone change his bad habits for someone who will live in the same place as those bad habits.

    LongFang
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Mommy McBangmaid"..... loool

    katiekat0214
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Living apart together is so valid, and is done worldwide. I am 50+, was married twice for 25 years, lived with partners, and have been widowed nearly 10 years now. The only way I would have a partner these days is if he had his own place. I realized that my peace, quiet, freedom, and independence come first, and I absolutely refuse to be a housekeeper for anyone else. Please give this time, so you see how he actually acts. Go on facts, not what he says.

    Gen X Feral
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh lordt she's gonna end up a bang nanny, he's just a spoiled lazy man baby.

    The_Nicest_Misanthrope
    Community Member
    4 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's nothing that'll turn me off faster than a man who's actually no more capable than a toddler. Dump his a*s.

    JL
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If he's wealthy, let him hire an actual butler.

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