Woman Puts Brakes On Moving In With Wealthy BF, Fears She’ll Be His Butler, Not His Partner
When you are in a relationship, it’s obvious to expect a few things from your partner, especially the most basic ones. I mean, nobody wants to be stuck with people who can’t even look after themselves and always rely on others to do things for them.
This woman is also caught in a similar dilemma, as her super-wealthy boyfriend needs a maid to survive. While their relationship is great, she’s really hesitating moving in with him as she’s afraid of turning into his personal cleaner. Scroll down to find out what really happened!
More info: Reddit
People who are barely able to look after themselves can be really unattractive to others
Image credits: Wavebreak Media / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster’s boyfriend comes from a very wealthy family, and he has never lived alone, so he doesn’t know how to look after himself
Image credits: HoneyBunchesOcunts
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Since their relationship got serious, he wants them to live together, but the poster is skeptical, as she fears turning into his maid
Image credits: HoneyBunchesOcunts
Image credits: user21155762 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When she expressed her concerns to him, he suggested that they could hire a cleaner, but the poster finds his laziness very unattractive
Image credits: HoneyBunchesOcunts
She just expects him to be self-sufficient, and feels that it’s not asking for much since cleaning up after oneself is not that difficult
In today’s story, the original poster (OP) shares with us the issue that has popped up like a thorn in her relationship. While the couple has been on and off many times, things have been pretty stable for the past year, and they’ve even gotten serious. The problem is that he is asking her to move in with him, but OP is super skeptical about it, considering his background.
The man has previously lived with other guys in a completely unhygienic manner, or lived with his extremely wealthy family, who have a maid to even pick up clothes from the floor. Since he has never lived on his own, OP fears that she will turn into his personal cleaner if they live together. She really dreads this, as she prefers a clean place, while he is absolutely lazy.
Well, the poster knows that he won’t lift a finger to help her out, so she confessed the reason why she’s so hesitant. However, this just angered him a lot, and he suggested hiring a cleaner so she won’t have to do all the work. The guy is missing the whole point of it because she wants her boyfriend to be self-sufficient, rather than just depending on his money to hire someone else.
In fact, the poster also explained that his lack of effort to look after himself is actually very unattractive to her. After all, it’s not asking for much, as all he has to do is look up things on YouTube if he can’t do it himself. According to OP, he’s quite a mature and supportive partner, but this negative quality is frustrating her a lot, so she vented online, seeking advice.
Image credits: seventyfour / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Netizens didn’t waste any time in giving her a reality check that her boyfriend sounds like a spoiled manchild, and they flagged down his inability to look after himself. Even experts claim that self-sufficiency is an essential aspect of a person’s well-being, which helps gain a deep-rooted sense of inner completeness and stability.
As this is missing, the guy will just rely on the poster for all the little things, in case the cleaner doesn’t show up. Obviously, if all the burden of the chores falls on OP, it’s bound to annoy her at one point. Research suggests that unequal distribution of housework can increase the stress levels of the partner who is doing more. In fact, it can also worsen their mental health and may lead to depression.
I guess it’s always better to be cautious than regret things later, right? Many folks pointed out that if she finds these qualities unattractive, then it’s better not to take such a big step. In fact, studies have revealed that 14% of couples break up within a year of moving in together. Looks like Redditors are right about how it would spark more trouble for the poster.
Many also argued that his anger when she tried to tell him the reason sounds toxic. Instead of admitting his negative qualities and working on them, his go-to solution was splurging money on a cleaner. That does say a lot about him, doesn’t it? No wonder OP is so doubtful about living with him. Wouldn’t you be as well? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section!
Netizens advised that if she really finds the manchild unattractive, then moving in with him will only make things worse between them
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
I'm sorry, what does he actually bring to the table? He sounds lazy, entitled and very immature. Not an adult ready for an actually serious relationship. I'd move on. Not partner material.
What does he bring to the table? $$$$ Sometimes money isn't worth it.
Load More Replies...You can't rebuild someone at this age, you gotta take 'em as they are. Period.
Don't move in together; you will end up carrying the mental load and the housekeeping load. Move on and find a fully grown adult. *Words of wisdom* - When the adult/adult relationship turns into a parent/child relationship, it kills all respect and sexual attraction.
Here's a good rule of life that so many people ignore: If you are afraid to have an honest discussion for fear of "hurting their feelings / because they are so sensitive" then neither one of you is mature enough for a serious relationship. And another good rule: you cannot and should not expect to change a person. If they do not meet your standards, move on to the next one.
One reality. If you are a couple who has a cleaning lady ONCE A WEEK you still have to do things daily. It is not possible to avoid laundry, dishes, paying bills, taking out garbage. The WEEKLY cleaning lady vacuums, maybe changes the bed, cleans the bathrooms, BIG JOBS like that. W
My issue ins't that he grew up privileged, didn't have to do anything himself, and is a stunted adult in that way. It's that OP seemingly can't have a conversation with him about this a very normal concern without him getting upset. It's obviously important to OP and, if nothing else he should want to be able to have a conversation about it with her if he supposedly cares about her. Let alone change his bad habits for someone who will live in the same place as those bad habits.
Living apart together is so valid, and is done worldwide. I am 50+, was married twice for 25 years, lived with partners, and have been widowed nearly 10 years now. The only way I would have a partner these days is if he had his own place. I realized that my peace, quiet, freedom, and independence come first, and I absolutely refuse to be a housekeeper for anyone else. Please give this time, so you see how he actually acts. Go on facts, not what he says.
Oh lordt she's gonna end up a bang nanny, he's just a spoiled lazy man baby.
There's nothing that'll turn me off faster than a man who's actually no more capable than a toddler. Dump his a*s.
I'm sorry, what does he actually bring to the table? He sounds lazy, entitled and very immature. Not an adult ready for an actually serious relationship. I'd move on. Not partner material.
What does he bring to the table? $$$$ Sometimes money isn't worth it.
Load More Replies...You can't rebuild someone at this age, you gotta take 'em as they are. Period.
Don't move in together; you will end up carrying the mental load and the housekeeping load. Move on and find a fully grown adult. *Words of wisdom* - When the adult/adult relationship turns into a parent/child relationship, it kills all respect and sexual attraction.
Here's a good rule of life that so many people ignore: If you are afraid to have an honest discussion for fear of "hurting their feelings / because they are so sensitive" then neither one of you is mature enough for a serious relationship. And another good rule: you cannot and should not expect to change a person. If they do not meet your standards, move on to the next one.
One reality. If you are a couple who has a cleaning lady ONCE A WEEK you still have to do things daily. It is not possible to avoid laundry, dishes, paying bills, taking out garbage. The WEEKLY cleaning lady vacuums, maybe changes the bed, cleans the bathrooms, BIG JOBS like that. W
My issue ins't that he grew up privileged, didn't have to do anything himself, and is a stunted adult in that way. It's that OP seemingly can't have a conversation with him about this a very normal concern without him getting upset. It's obviously important to OP and, if nothing else he should want to be able to have a conversation about it with her if he supposedly cares about her. Let alone change his bad habits for someone who will live in the same place as those bad habits.
Living apart together is so valid, and is done worldwide. I am 50+, was married twice for 25 years, lived with partners, and have been widowed nearly 10 years now. The only way I would have a partner these days is if he had his own place. I realized that my peace, quiet, freedom, and independence come first, and I absolutely refuse to be a housekeeper for anyone else. Please give this time, so you see how he actually acts. Go on facts, not what he says.
Oh lordt she's gonna end up a bang nanny, he's just a spoiled lazy man baby.
There's nothing that'll turn me off faster than a man who's actually no more capable than a toddler. Dump his a*s.



























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