Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
“[Am I The Jerk] If I Break Up With My Boyfriend For Ruining My Attorney Swearing In Moment?”
There are many important milestones in life for which we want our loved ones to be present. Birthdays, weddings, promotion events, or graduations are a few of the big ones that come to mind. Having someone to support us during such momentous occasions can make all the difference.
Unfortunately for the woman in this story, her boyfriend of over a year ruined her milestone swearing-in ceremony, instead of being there for her. His carelessness and disinterest really ruined her entire experience.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
When loved ones downplay your achievements or aren’t there for you during major events, it can feel extremely hurtful
Image credits: Ivan Samkov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that she missed out on taking the bar exam when she wanted to, and then had to take it several times later as she was dealing with cancer
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Even attending her swearing-in ceremony became difficult due to her mom and dad’s difficult health situations, which is why she wanted her boyfriend to be present
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster’s boyfriend planned to FaceTime her during her event, as he couldn’t be there physically, but while on the call, he ended up going to the store
Image credits: Anna Shvets / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The FaceTime call got disconnected because the guy went to a store, so he called the poster back six times, which distracted her a lot during the event
Image credits: callmecheetah
In an update, the poster mentioned that she decided to break up with her boyfriend partly due to the incident
The poster shared that she tried to take the bar exam in 2023, but got diagnosed with cancer a month before she had to take it. Even after postponing it, she wasn’t able to clear her other attempts as she was undergoing radiation treatment and dealing with the aftermath of all of that, which was obviously taxing.
Some people go through extremely difficult life situations, but still manage to move forward no matter what. This is because of something called resilience, which is a person’s ability to cope with loss, change, or adversity. Whenever someone goes through turbulent life events, if they can adapt, they’ll be able to keep growing.
The OP is clearly a strong and level-headed person because, apart from her cancer treatment, she has also had to cope with both of her parents getting immensely sick. Despite all of that, she wanted to attend her attorney swearing-in ceremony and bask in the fact that she had achieved so much.
The poster also wanted her boyfriend to be with her during the event as a source of support. A loved one’s presence is often extremely important during such milestones because it shows how much they care. It also shows that they want to celebrate you and care enough to make an effort to be by your side.
Image credits: mladenmitrinovic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The problem is that the OP’s boyfriend couldn’t be with her physically during her swearing-in ceremony. He said that he would FaceTime her and watch her give her oath. Unfortunately, right at the main part of the event, he went to buy bagels at a store, and his call got disconnected. He then tried calling the poster six times, which completely disturbed her and the other people on the call.
Even though the man offered to be on call with her during her ceremony, he didn’t show up for her in the way she wanted him to. A partner should show appreciation and support for their loved one in a way that actually makes them feel better. Doing the bare minimum might work a few times, but eventually it can lead to resentment in the relationship.
The woman did feel annoyed with her boyfriend because of how he kept calling her during such an important moment. In an update post, she also mentioned that he refused to go with her to visit her dad in the hospital as he wanted to be at a cookout. All of this showed her that he wasn’t right for her, and she decided to break up with him.
It might feel extreme to end a relationship over a loved one missing an important event or not showing up for you the way you want. The thing is that it’s probably many similar situations that have led to those feelings of dissatisfaction, which is exactly what the OP felt about her long-term boyfriend.
Do you think she made the right decision by breaking up with him? What would you have done? Let us know in the comments below.
Most people sided with the poster and said that her boyfriend’s actions showed a clear lack of interest and support
Poll Question
Total votes ·
Thanks! Check out the results:
Total votes ·
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
What do you think ?
Apatheist Account2 8 months ago (edited)
What a moron. Okay, if the house catches fire, maybe that's more important, but for goodness' sake, I can't believe people who are serious about a relationship will be that selfish and thoughtless. He really should know better at the age of 33.
Matt Blakeley 8 months ago
Some people never learn things, no matter how old they get.
Load More Replies...
Rick Murray 8 months ago
What an obnoxious entitled piece of [redacted]. Good on her for taking out the trash.
Binny Tutera 8 months ago
Here’s a point: if he lost the signal, he should’ve TEXTED- she would’ve called him back if she could. And if she couldn’t, her silence would be his answer. But to go out to a store and call over and over again is thoughtless and, honestly, petty. Because how did he NOT know?
Binky Melnik 8 months ago
I feel just sick for this girl that’s she’s gotta deal with cancer while trying to pass the bar. Then her dad has a heart attack and a series of strokes? I’m literally crying for her. And then her “boyfriend” who supposedly loves her can’t be *present* for her bust settles on using Zoom to be present? My crying has turned to sobbing! Then the repeated phone calls, ruining the actual swearing in? This is grounds for justifiable homicide, and I’m volunteering to do it for her because she has better things to do than to rot in jail. What an incredible pile of manure that man is. Nearly ANY man she finds now will be better than this thoughtless, self-absorbed, and STUPID fool! I hope to hell she’s met him by now and is being banged silly and well by him!
Mike F 8 months ago
I got that as well. This poor woman is perpetually at the bottom of an oncoming avalanche. But, YAY for her, she got through her bar and that is an admirable achievement. Hope she does well.
Load More Replies...
whiterabbit 8 months ago
All I have to say is my BF is absolutely amazing and I appreciate him more than words can describe. He would be there in person for any one of those circumstances (oath ceremony, a parent being sick, cancer treatments) without having to be asked. All three at once wouldn't even be a question, he would be my rock, he wouldn't question it. Don't settle for anything less in a partner.
Ginger ninja 7 months ago
I have no doubt in my mind he deliberately did it all on purpose to sabotage OP’s big day
BrownEyedPanda 8 months ago
Career sabotage if ever I saw it. If they were married and OP was in a Zoom call meeting, that jerk would be interrupting it every five minutes, despite the "DO NOT DISTURB--MEETING IN PROGRESS sign on the home office door. He can f--k off to infinity and beyond. 🤬
Melissa Harris 8 months ago (edited)
He enjoyed taking care of her while she was sick but became uninterested in the relationship once she began to get better. He's got some sort of hero complex and when she didn't need rescuing but a partner he needed a bagel more then paying attention to her swarning in. Be really careful of people you meet while sick or undergoing treatment. They don't know the not sick "normal" you and may actually be attracted to caring for another and being someone's emotional supporter.
Jenny 7 months ago
I'm glad they split up. This man seems very insecure to me.. 9f0fe04842...8b98e2.jpg 
The Starsong Princess 8 months ago
Why wasn’t he with you, organizing your celebration dinner?
BoredPangolin 8 months ago
I'm going to be the devil advocate: they are together for just above 1 year, and the man had to cope with three important people with severe cancer. She mentions he took her to lots of her medical appt, so he's not neglecting her. I don't like jumping on conclusions that he's a bad person. Maybe the last year has been grinding, as it as when you have to support family member with serious health issues. However, this couple had no time to really cement their relationship prior to that. I'm guessing, it's just been too much and the man is giving up on a woman he loved but has objectively too many issues compared to the very thin relationship and involvement they have. I'm not minimizing her disappointement. I'm just saying the whole situation seemed a lot to ask for such a fresh relationship. I've seen older couples break under the stress of less than that ..
Apatheist Account2 8 months ago (edited)
What a moron. Okay, if the house catches fire, maybe that's more important, but for goodness' sake, I can't believe people who are serious about a relationship will be that selfish and thoughtless. He really should know better at the age of 33.
Matt Blakeley 8 months ago
Some people never learn things, no matter how old they get.
Load More Replies... Rick Murray 8 months ago
What an obnoxious entitled piece of [redacted]. Good on her for taking out the trash.
Binny Tutera 8 months ago
Here’s a point: if he lost the signal, he should’ve TEXTED- she would’ve called him back if she could. And if she couldn’t, her silence would be his answer. But to go out to a store and call over and over again is thoughtless and, honestly, petty. Because how did he NOT know?
Binky Melnik 8 months ago
I feel just sick for this girl that’s she’s gotta deal with cancer while trying to pass the bar. Then her dad has a heart attack and a series of strokes? I’m literally crying for her. And then her “boyfriend” who supposedly loves her can’t be *present* for her bust settles on using Zoom to be present? My crying has turned to sobbing! Then the repeated phone calls, ruining the actual swearing in? This is grounds for justifiable homicide, and I’m volunteering to do it for her because she has better things to do than to rot in jail. What an incredible pile of manure that man is. Nearly ANY man she finds now will be better than this thoughtless, self-absorbed, and STUPID fool! I hope to hell she’s met him by now and is being banged silly and well by him!
Mike F 8 months ago
I got that as well. This poor woman is perpetually at the bottom of an oncoming avalanche. But, YAY for her, she got through her bar and that is an admirable achievement. Hope she does well.
Load More Replies... whiterabbit 8 months ago
All I have to say is my BF is absolutely amazing and I appreciate him more than words can describe. He would be there in person for any one of those circumstances (oath ceremony, a parent being sick, cancer treatments) without having to be asked. All three at once wouldn't even be a question, he would be my rock, he wouldn't question it. Don't settle for anything less in a partner.
Ginger ninja 7 months ago
I have no doubt in my mind he deliberately did it all on purpose to sabotage OP’s big day
BrownEyedPanda 8 months ago
Career sabotage if ever I saw it. If they were married and OP was in a Zoom call meeting, that jerk would be interrupting it every five minutes, despite the "DO NOT DISTURB--MEETING IN PROGRESS sign on the home office door. He can f--k off to infinity and beyond. 🤬
Melissa Harris 8 months ago (edited)
He enjoyed taking care of her while she was sick but became uninterested in the relationship once she began to get better. He's got some sort of hero complex and when she didn't need rescuing but a partner he needed a bagel more then paying attention to her swarning in. Be really careful of people you meet while sick or undergoing treatment. They don't know the not sick "normal" you and may actually be attracted to caring for another and being someone's emotional supporter.
Jenny 7 months ago
I'm glad they split up. This man seems very insecure to me.. 9f0fe04842...8b98e2.jpg
The Starsong Princess 8 months ago
Why wasn’t he with you, organizing your celebration dinner?
BoredPangolin 8 months ago
I'm going to be the devil advocate: they are together for just above 1 year, and the man had to cope with three important people with severe cancer. She mentions he took her to lots of her medical appt, so he's not neglecting her. I don't like jumping on conclusions that he's a bad person. Maybe the last year has been grinding, as it as when you have to support family member with serious health issues. However, this couple had no time to really cement their relationship prior to that. I'm guessing, it's just been too much and the man is giving up on a woman he loved but has objectively too many issues compared to the very thin relationship and involvement they have. I'm not minimizing her disappointement. I'm just saying the whole situation seemed a lot to ask for such a fresh relationship. I've seen older couples break under the stress of less than that ..
You May Like Woman Tells Drunk Boyfriend To Stop Acting Like A Jerk, He Refuses: "I Could Go Home With Any Woman Here" Mom Kicks Son’s Girlfriend Out After Seeing Her Birth Certificate: "She Got All Quiet" Guy Feels Emasculated After Seeing Period Products In His Girlfriend’s Bathroom
Indrė Lukošiūtė
Mantas Kačerauskas
Indrė Lukošiūtė
Related on Bored Panda
47
19