Parent Asks If They’re The Jerk For Sending Son Home From Boy’s Trip After He Brought His BF
Parents make many rules for their kids to follow, but that doesn’t mean they’ll actually listen. Rebellious teens are a dime a dozen, and it’s safe to say that they’ll find clever ways to work around their parents’ orders. But, if they get caught, then it’s punishment time.
You can decide whether this dad gave his son the right punishment after he caught the boy canoodling with his secret boyfriend on their family boys’ trip.
More info: Reddit
A dad had set a strict rule that no girlfriends were allowed on their family boys’ trip, but he didn’t account for boyfriends, so he was put in a fix after his son found the loophole in his rule
Image credits: SLAYTINA (not the actual photo)
Guy has 3 sons whom he takes on boys’ trips, he set the rule that no girlfriends could tag along, they could only bring friends, so each boy brought a friend along on their latest trip
Image credits: Kindel Media (not the actual photo)
Later the dad found his 16YO kissing and cuddling with his “friend,” the teen confessed it was his boyfriend and that they had been together for a year
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)
The dad said that even though his rule was established for girlfriends, it technically meant no partners, so he told his wife to come and pick their son up in the middle of the trip
Image credits: u/ReferenceOk3419
His wife and 16YO did not side with him, but his other sons backed him up
The Original Poster (OP) shared that he has 3 sons who are 15, 16, and 18, respectively. He would occasionally hold a boys’ trip for them and had set the rule that no girlfriends were allowed to come along. He made the exception that they could bring their friends. This year, all his sons had brought a friend on the trip. But, 2 days into the getaway, he found his 16-year-old kissing and cuddling with his “friend.”
When he confronted the boy, he found out that the teen had been dating his boyfriend for a year. Although he had no problem with his son being gay, he mentioned that his rule about no girlfriends meant no partners in general. So he felt that his son disrespected his rule by hiding the information from him.
He got annoyed and called his wife to come and take the teen and his boyfriend home. Although it might seem harsh, studies have found that concrete parental rule setting is related to lower levels of risk-taking behavior among adolescents. This means that when parents make strong and specific rules, it can help children curb negative behavior, and often, that’s more helpful than parental support.
In this case, the father was setting a rule that applied to all his sons. As he mentioned in the post, he did not mind that his son was gay and still loved him just as much. This is important to note because, as the Washington Post puts it, “the disdain and discrimination that many gay or gender non-conforming youth receive from their parents has the potential to do far more damage than hostility they experience from others.”
There’s also a deeper truth to this that children who come out as gay and lack parental support are at greater risk for mental health problems. It’s also horrifying to note that kids who feel rejected by their family members are 8 times more likely to try and take their own life. That’s exactly why netizens told the father to let his son know that he wasn’t angry about him being gay and that it was all because he broke a rule.
Image credits: Anna Shvets (not the actual photo)
Research shows that acceptance is very important for LGBTQ kids and that adolescents who are supported by their families become healthier and happier adults. It can also reduce the need for mental health care and build a healthy and loving environment for youth and their families.
Commenters hilariously chimed in and said that the man’s wife was probably angry because she had to give up her alone time to pick up the teen. They also mentioned that the dad was right for taking a stand about his rule, because it was good to hold his teen up to the same standard as the other kids. Research shows that parental differential treatment can negatively impact the bond between siblings, so it’s important for parents to treat all their kids the same.
Others from the LGBTQ community stated that the dad was being fair. They advised him to reach out to his son and clarify that he doesn’t view him differently and that he supports him through his coming out journey.
Although this might be a difficult and sensitive situation to navigate, the father’s response about still loving the boy and not seeing him differently shows how much he cares. Hopefully, the teen understood his mistake and was able to share more about his relationship with his parents. Commenters were supportive and sided with the dad. Do you think the father was right to send his son home during the boys’ trip? How would you have handled the situation? Share your thoughts in the comments.
Netizens agreed that the dad’s rule should include his gay son, and many were amused by the way the teen skirted around the rule on a technicality
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I think it was the opposite of homophobic. Dad was treating his gay son like the other two. No partner means no partner. No matter the gender (even if the rule was girlfriend, but I think we gan agree that the gay son knew what he was doing there).
Totally agree. I see nothing wrong with this. The rule is being applied without prejudice.
Load More Replies... Nay on the homophobia, but why are specifically girlfriends (partners) excluded? If your son were to bring a friend who is a girl, would that then be allowed? Or is it really a 'no girls allowed' activity but with different words?
Because nobody goes on a trip with 2 people making out the whole tine. No one wants to be around that on a group trip.
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I think it was the opposite of homophobic. Dad was treating his gay son like the other two. No partner means no partner. No matter the gender (even if the rule was girlfriend, but I think we gan agree that the gay son knew what he was doing there).
Totally agree. I see nothing wrong with this. The rule is being applied without prejudice.
Load More Replies... Nay on the homophobia, but why are specifically girlfriends (partners) excluded? If your son were to bring a friend who is a girl, would that then be allowed? Or is it really a 'no girls allowed' activity but with different words?
Because nobody goes on a trip with 2 people making out the whole tine. No one wants to be around that on a group trip.
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