People Shame Mom For Asking Her Stepson To Be Photoshopped Out Of Family Pics, She Responds To Backlash

No. She had six months to take pictures with her biological kids. Why did this have to be an issue right when the stepson was visiting?

Nevermind. I thought you said devils avocado and I loved it.

He is her close family. He is her husband's child, no matter how much he sees them. This was just disgusting. She doesn't know what to say because she knows how wrong she is.

I think he knows full well how step-mom feels about him, he's old enough to know exclusion when he sees it. Doesn't matter how often his father sees him, dad needs to make sure his son always feels welcome and loved, and if he doesn't see to that, the boy may be better off NOT seeing dad if he doesn't feel loved and supported. No excuses.

Aunt Messy

Aunt Messy

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That's just too goddamned bad. She married a man with a child and it is her RESPONSIBILITY to include him. If she can't do that, maybe she should go back to being single. She's cruel and childish.

Well the father is a father every damn day. Divorce or not he sounds like a loser.

Having been there myself, the kid would know even if it wasn't out there in the public. And the thing that was insensitive was *not* posting the request online, but wanting to exclude him from the photo in the first place. She acknowledges that she can't explain it without sounding like a b*, but lacks the self awareness that that is because she is actually being a b*?!?! And where TF is the dad in all this?! And WTF with you saying he is not a full time family member? Like he only gets his fathers genetic material every other weekend and alternating holidays? Or will the younger kid only be part-time family members when they go to school and summer camp? And WTF with you saying "close" family? So he is less his father's son? Wow, you are cruel. I hope kids aren't subjected to you. And that kid is going to need major therapy down the road ...

She is undoubtedly a cow. Apparently, the kid doesn't live with them so she has plenty of opportunities to take pictures without making the kid feel an outsider. If she married a man who has a son, the son is part of the parcel, whether she likes it or not. The kid will always be his father's son, even if he and his mother are not together anymore. She's not only a cow, but a jealous cow. How can an adult be so mean to a child is something that escapes my understanding. Definitely, she's an immature, jealous, mean cow.

I disagree with your post. The tone of biomoms statement comes off as it's the dad's fault he only sees the kid every once in awhile. Like stepchild is the forgotten child and he rather be a parent to the kids with stepmom.

Exactly.

what is a devil's avocado like? that sounds awesome!

Are you kidding me? You can make a stranger feel welcomed, if you choose to.

Well said Eva!

I agree with you. the kid's family too but her full time family is her biological kids and her husband, there's nothing wrong with also wanting photos with Your family only. True, they could've chosen another day, but my guess is their get together was spontaneous and they had to include the stepson in the photoshoot even though initially it wasn't planned like that. Photoshoots are also booked so if the dad suddenly saw himself needing to take care of his kid for the day, that was a compromise. And yes, not seeing his child for 6 months is a lot, but we have no info about the reason and ALSO, that is not the stepmom's fault... People just like judging for the sake of it...

Eva. We know. Oh boy do we know that we are not wanted, not welcome, not valued, not loved, not worthy, never good enough for the step parent or the bio parent that are together

I can understand it too. It would be a different story if they had him every weekend, but this is the first time in 6 months that he's been with his father. We don't know what's happened previously either. Perhaps Dad wanted the boy in some photo's, not unreasonable, and mum wanted just her kids. Not unreasonable either.

I get why she wanted to have photos with her biological children only. But cuting kid out of the photo... It just seems wrong. We can only suspect how relations in family are going, but I think that her part is rather dad's new wife, than step-mother, it is a huge difference, and I think it is okay. I've never had an urge to see in my parents new life partners step-parents, and seeing them only as their partners is the most comfortable fir me. Putting at someone responsibility to be a mother of a child that she sees once for half a year is too much. And being honest, I think that biological mother was happy that new wife if her ex husband is getting roasted in internet, her comment was very focused at the aspect that she gets support and desiresld attention. My final thoughts: you don't know arrangements, family, situation, connections, backstory, so you are not at the position of judging their family relations

finally someone said what i was thinking

elfin

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Thank's for playing devil's advocate; we need people who do this. In this case, though, that is not how divorces work. That is what some divorced people choose to do.

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We don't know if she put him that far away. He may not be a huggy kind of kid. He may have been shy. He may have been misbehaving / not following directions. I'll admit, that it does *look* like he's been put on the sidelines - but without actually being there, and having witnessed events on the day, it's impossible to know. Having worked in photographic studios, the images *rarely* are an true & accurate reflection the actual dynamic at the time. I've managed to create beautiful calm images, when the kids where screaming banshees for the entire shoot, and have also been unable to get all kids to be calm and smiling and looking at the camera simultaneously.... it's tough, and not always within the control of the adults.

elfin

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The only problem with avocados is that you can't coat them in chocolate. Well, you could, but please don't.

Reminds me of Seymour_the_squirrel and his avocado hat. Best thing on the internet.

What she did was indeed insensitive, but people seem to be glossing over or not even reading the "sees the kid every six months" part. That is a huge piece of the puzzle that makes it hard to have a meaningful relationship especially one as complex as step parent and child.

She has six months to do a family photo shoot without him. There was no need for her to wait for the rare occasion that he's around just to make him feel excluded. He's three. He is more than old enough to know he's being pushed aside.

"...which still doesn't mean she would love him like her own children..." That's just sad. In the scenario where the child lived with the stepmom and bio dad, I would certainly hope she would love him like her own children ... because he IS her own child in that scenario. And I would hope she could also love him like that even if he doesn't live with them. He is her husband's child, after all.

@Aunt Messy, I suspect you are just being nasty for the sake of it... Some people don't want to have children, but still fall in love with people who have children. For some people children are not the most important thing in the world, but it doesn't mean they are all "stupid bitches" or bastards...

Aunt Messy, were/are you a step child? Why so bitter and nasty?

You can not put a woman before your children? You can tell her if you can't love me for every part of my life then we shouldn't be together? Imagine being a child and your father says "Hey guys remember X amount of years that we've spent together? Well the woman Jm marrying doesn't feel like raising kids (idk their ages but they obviously aren't infants) sooo I guess you're out of luck" Now I wasn't there but anyone who would marry OUT of their children's lives probably doesn't deserve to have children, and any woman that expects a man to put his children aside (married or not) doesn't deserve to be in the dating pool IMO.

What an you do? Well, not you, but *he* could value his children more. I hope that story is not true, and merely the plot of Parent Trap.

Aunt Messy

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HE married the stupid b***h and he's punishing his kids for it.

That’s not why she did it though. If it was for social media reasons I would explain that. But the step mum admitted why and it had nothing to do with social media.

First visit in 6 months- that doesn't mean first visit ever. From the pictures it looks like the little one might be around that age, so the stepson may have spent time with them before that, just not while the baby was super tiny. Honestly I really think she should've just not put this out there and if she wanted it edited she should've just paid someone to do it instead of asking the internet at large to remove a child from a family photo.

I was just pointing out the contradiction between her words and her actions. The judgement has come from you.

When the kid grows up and realizes what happened, how hurt do you think he'll be? How much therapy do you think it'll take to realize they couldn't even extend basic decency to a child? I don't care if I'm even related to a kid, or that I've met them before, they are joyfully welcome.

ah, really David. That explains it all, he's just not part of the family because he doesn't live with them. What kind of logic is that?! People have all the right to feel salty vinegar whatever! He's still her step son, like it or not, he IS part of the family regardless. don't be an asshole as well. no kid should be treated this way. is her partner's child, at the end of the day is still a child still getting hurt. if she loves his partner she should be opened to his child as well, it comes to package deal.

"salty vinegary" xD