People Shame Mom For Asking Her Stepson To Be Photoshopped Out Of Family Pics, She Responds To Backlash
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Lots of people probably thought that stories about ‘evil’ stepmothers holding a grudge against their stepchildren were something meant only for fairytales and storytime before going to bed. Sadly, they occur in real life, too.
One stepmother faced major backlash both online and in the media for the way that she treated her stepchild. She asked a Facebook group to edit her stepson out of the pictures in a family photo shoot, while also adding that she loves him.
The internet was outraged by her demands. People quickly shared the story about the stepmom and the story went viral.
Bored Panda reached out to the child’s biological mother to talk about her first reaction to the story breaking online and in the news, as well as how much support she got from her friends, family, and the online community.
“My first reaction: I was pissed, because I had to find out from my youngest son’s grandma because she saw it on a stepmom’s Facebook page she follows. Her post was posted on Saturday from what she told me, and she and his father didn’t even inform me of how her original post was,” the biological mom told Bored Panda. Scroll down for the full interview.
A woman asked people to photoshop her stepson out of the family pictures taken during a professional photo shoot
This is what the child’s biological mother said
“I didn’t know until Monday. And she didn’t try to apologize until after I had called my son’s grandma asking if she knew. The internet’s reactions to me is honestly amazing. I would expect anyone to stick up for a 3-year-old. Honestly, I’m not sure what I plan to do next,” the child’s biological mother revealed.
She continued: “Emotionally, it started out very badly. I was pissed to an extreme, but now I’m really happy about this situation, because of all the support me and my son are getting through this situation.”
“My family and friends are very supportive to me and my children through any situation.”
Bored Panda also asked her what advice she would give to new stepparents who want to get closer to their stepchildren. Here’s what she had to say: “Honestly, my advice would be, get to know the children before you get married. Build a relationship with them. And if your not willing to do that—Do Not Marry Their Parent.”
“I do want to add that the support we are getting from everyone all over the world is amazing, and me and my whole family appreciates everything.”
And here’s what the kid’s stepmom said after the story went viral
We get it, it’s not always easy getting to know your stepchildren; but that’s life for you and there’s bound to be difficulties in any family, whether they’re biologically related to you or not. Fortunately, there are some things that stepparents can do to get closer to their stepchildren.
All Pro Dad explains that most stepparents find it hard to reach out to their stepkids at the start. However, you should never set unrealistic expectations about creating the perfect family: start off small by building respect with the child before expecting them to love you and you loving them back.
Openness is also very important. Even if your stepchildren probably won’t open up to you at the start, it’s important that they know that you’re always there if they need someone to talk to. Furthermore, you should be supportive and not try to replace the kids’ biological parents; your relationship will be unique, there’s no need to replicate one that already exists. And when it comes to disciplining your stepchildren, well, it’s best to let the parent do that until you earn the kids’ respect.
Here’s how internet users reacted to the situation
Bored Panda also reached out to Redditors Foilfun and Smokegenovese who posted the story online and helped make it go viral.
Foilfun said that they reacted with “sadness” when they first saw the story online. “Seeing the boy she wanted photoshopped out sitting by himself next to his step-siblings on the blanket just sort of broke me. But my reaction has changed after seeing it absolutely blow up. What really gets to me now is seeing people tell stories about being step-children who felt unloved (or at least not as loved as their step-siblings) growing up. That’s been my biggest takeaway from it.”
“I can’t help but feel like it’s a fundamental misunderstanding of what family means. She probably didn’t mean anything malicious by the request, but the fact that she made it—or wanted it in the first place—makes me sad,” Foilfun said. “The mother made the choice to step into this family; that means she made a choice to step into all of the family. Stepson most definitely included. He’s just a little boy. He doesn’t know what is going on and he didn’t have a say in the matter. She most certainly does. She was given the chance to raise him as her own (or some complicated version of “her own”) and her response was to photoshop him out.”
Foilfun explained that they don’t have a stepparent nor do they want to have children of their own, but they said that they do know loving households look like: “They certainly don’t have to be blood to be family. I think that if you’ve made the choice to be a parent—step or otherwise—the responsibility is the same. These kids are the future. They’ll take both the best and the worst of you with them. If I were a father, I can’t help but feel like this would constantly be on my mind. Want to be a better parent of any kind? Don’t treat your kids like “kids.” Treat them like the future. They didn’t ask to be here, but you get the chance to help them realize they can be everything.”
According to the Redditor, they didn’t expect the compassion that internet users showed when they read the story: “Both for this kid and for the mom.”
“I don’t want to see anybody hurt, but I also don’t want to see a world where kids continue to be pawns in their parents’ games and spats. Calling this mentality out whenever we get the chance is an important step if we’re going to see healthier generations going forward—ones that are better than we are.”
Meanwhile, Redditor Smokegenovese said that they believe that “no one should be in a family that treats them like utter [crap] and doesn’t love them even as a stepchild.” In the Redditor’s opinion, the stepmother “deserves to be on the news.”
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When she married her partner the step child became “her” child too. He IS family whether she likes it or not. It’s bad enough that she has him sitting away from her whilst the other children are on her. I feel so sad for him. If he is being put in the sidelines for family photos, I hate to think what else he misses out on etc.
I will play a devil's advocado a bit. It seems that the biological mom has full custody and the child sees the father just once in a while (first time in 6 months it says). It means he is not a full-time family member, sad but that is how divorces work. The stepmom didn't have anything against the stepson being on family photos, and it seems she is nice enough to him. We don't know why the kid stays on the side in the photos, maybe he doesn't feel like hugging a person who is almost a stranger to him? You can't make them all to love each other and be one big happy family if they see each other twice a year... I agree that the stepmom was not very sensitive to post her request online, but I can understand that she might want a couple of pictures only with what is her close family. Also, she admitted being insensitive and explained her reasons. Familly matters might be very complicated. The thing is, the kid would probably never even know, but now the whole thing got blown up...
No. She had six months to take pictures with her biological kids. Why did this have to be an issue right when the stepson was visiting?
Nevermind. I thought you said devils avocado and I loved it.
He is her close family. He is her husband's child, no matter how much he sees them. This was just disgusting. She doesn't know what to say because she knows how wrong she is.
I think he knows full well how step-mom feels about him, he's old enough to know exclusion when he sees it. Doesn't matter how often his father sees him, dad needs to make sure his son always feels welcome and loved, and if he doesn't see to that, the boy may be better off NOT seeing dad if he doesn't feel loved and supported. No excuses.
That's just too goddamned bad. She married a man with a child and it is her RESPONSIBILITY to include him. If she can't do that, maybe she should go back to being single. She's cruel and childish.
Well the father is a father every damn day. Divorce or not he sounds like a loser.
Having been there myself, the kid would know even if it wasn't out there in the public. And the thing that was insensitive was *not* posting the request online, but wanting to exclude him from the photo in the first place. She acknowledges that she can't explain it without sounding like a b*, but lacks the self awareness that that is because she is actually being a b*?!?! And where TF is the dad in all this?! And WTF with you saying he is not a full time family member? Like he only gets his fathers genetic material every other weekend and alternating holidays? Or will the younger kid only be part-time family members when they go to school and summer camp? And WTF with you saying "close" family? So he is less his father's son? Wow, you are cruel. I hope kids aren't subjected to you. And that kid is going to need major therapy down the road ...
She is undoubtedly a cow. Apparently, the kid doesn't live with them so she has plenty of opportunities to take pictures without making the kid feel an outsider. If she married a man who has a son, the son is part of the parcel, whether she likes it or not. The kid will always be his father's son, even if he and his mother are not together anymore. She's not only a cow, but a jealous cow. How can an adult be so mean to a child is something that escapes my understanding. Definitely, she's an immature, jealous, mean cow.
I disagree with your post. The tone of biomoms statement comes off as it's the dad's fault he only sees the kid every once in awhile. Like stepchild is the forgotten child and he rather be a parent to the kids with stepmom.
Exactly.
what is a devil's avocado like? that sounds awesome!
Are you kidding me? You can make a stranger feel welcomed, if you choose to.
Well said Eva!
I agree with you. the kid's family too but her full time family is her biological kids and her husband, there's nothing wrong with also wanting photos with Your family only. True, they could've chosen another day, but my guess is their get together was spontaneous and they had to include the stepson in the photoshoot even though initially it wasn't planned like that. Photoshoots are also booked so if the dad suddenly saw himself needing to take care of his kid for the day, that was a compromise. And yes, not seeing his child for 6 months is a lot, but we have no info about the reason and ALSO, that is not the stepmom's fault... People just like judging for the sake of it...
Eva. We know. Oh boy do we know that we are not wanted, not welcome, not valued, not loved, not worthy, never good enough for the step parent or the bio parent that are together
I can understand it too. It would be a different story if they had him every weekend, but this is the first time in 6 months that he's been with his father. We don't know what's happened previously either. Perhaps Dad wanted the boy in some photo's, not unreasonable, and mum wanted just her kids. Not unreasonable either.
I get why she wanted to have photos with her biological children only. But cuting kid out of the photo... It just seems wrong. We can only suspect how relations in family are going, but I think that her part is rather dad's new wife, than step-mother, it is a huge difference, and I think it is okay. I've never had an urge to see in my parents new life partners step-parents, and seeing them only as their partners is the most comfortable fir me. Putting at someone responsibility to be a mother of a child that she sees once for half a year is too much. And being honest, I think that biological mother was happy that new wife if her ex husband is getting roasted in internet, her comment was very focused at the aspect that she gets support and desiresld attention. My final thoughts: you don't know arrangements, family, situation, connections, backstory, so you are not at the position of judging their family relations
finally someone said what i was thinking
Thank's for playing devil's advocate; we need people who do this. In this case, though, that is not how divorces work. That is what some divorced people choose to do.
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No loving father ever went six months about seeing his kids
It really makes me mad she puts the kid far away on the pictures. she clearly does not care for him as she says she does.
We don't know if she put him that far away. He may not be a huggy kind of kid. He may have been shy. He may have been misbehaving / not following directions. I'll admit, that it does *look* like he's been put on the sidelines - but without actually being there, and having witnessed events on the day, it's impossible to know. Having worked in photographic studios, the images *rarely* are an true & accurate reflection the actual dynamic at the time. I've managed to create beautiful calm images, when the kids where screaming banshees for the entire shoot, and have also been unable to get all kids to be calm and smiling and looking at the camera simultaneously.... it's tough, and not always within the control of the adults.
She could have had the photo with her biological kids done on a different day or at a different time. Problem solved.
Jacob-Becca Gizmo the Squirrel: Devil's avocado is what I choose to take away from this entire post and thread. It's been a sucky day and avocados make everything better, devil be damned.
The only problem with avocados is that you can't coat them in chocolate. Well, you could, but please don't.
Reminds me of Seymour_the_squirrel and his avocado hat. Best thing on the internet.
No, he is not HER close family. He is her husband's child. It might work different if the kid lived with his dad and her - they would probably be closer then, which still doesn't mean she would love him like her own children. But if you agree to get into situation where you basically raise your stepson with your own children, then you commit to treat that kid like your own. She didn't, the kid lives with his bio mom. And from what I see it's the bio mom and all "righteous" people who made it into a big deal. Otherwise the kid would just come back to his mom after a weekend at dad's and didn't think twice about it.
What she did was indeed insensitive, but people seem to be glossing over or not even reading the "sees the kid every six months" part. That is a huge piece of the puzzle that makes it hard to have a meaningful relationship especially one as complex as step parent and child.
She has six months to do a family photo shoot without him. There was no need for her to wait for the rare occasion that he's around just to make him feel excluded. He's three. He is more than old enough to know he's being pushed aside.
"...which still doesn't mean she would love him like her own children..." That's just sad. In the scenario where the child lived with the stepmom and bio dad, I would certainly hope she would love him like her own children ... because he IS her own child in that scenario. And I would hope she could also love him like that even if he doesn't live with them. He is her husband's child, after all.
Not necessarily. A family friend of mine married a woman that basically told him she would have nothing to do with his twin daughters. She didn't want to be a mom. He goes on separate vacations with just his daughters, and rarely has them. I feel bad for them, but what can you do.
@Aunt Messy, I suspect you are just being nasty for the sake of it... Some people don't want to have children, but still fall in love with people who have children. For some people children are not the most important thing in the world, but it doesn't mean they are all "stupid bitches" or bastards...
Aunt Messy, were/are you a step child? Why so bitter and nasty?
You can not put a woman before your children? You can tell her if you can't love me for every part of my life then we shouldn't be together? Imagine being a child and your father says "Hey guys remember X amount of years that we've spent together? Well the woman Jm marrying doesn't feel like raising kids (idk their ages but they obviously aren't infants) sooo I guess you're out of luck" Now I wasn't there but anyone who would marry OUT of their children's lives probably doesn't deserve to have children, and any woman that expects a man to put his children aside (married or not) doesn't deserve to be in the dating pool IMO.
What an you do? Well, not you, but *he* could value his children more. I hope that story is not true, and merely the plot of Parent Trap.
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HE married the stupid bitch and he's punishing his kids for it.
Unless you are a step-parent yourself, I think this dynamic is difficult to understand & perhaps we shouldn't judge this woman so harshly. We are, literally, only seeing a snap shot of this wee family & this by no means give us the insight into the complexity of this situation.
Well said, point taken !!!
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When she married her partner the step child became “her” child too. .....no, no he didn't.
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Well. On the other hand. If my kid was in a picture with his fictional stepmom I would not appreciate it if those would be posted on social media. Something the stepmom might not have a problem with. So she might want pictures with just her biological kids for that purpose. The vile response from biomom raises flags for me.
That’s not why she did it though. If it was for social media reasons I would explain that. But the step mum admitted why and it had nothing to do with social media.
I have 3 boys - One has a different dad - credit to my Ex-husband as all my boys were treated the same by him and I will always love him for that. He still treats them the same. He even considers the grandchildren his!
That is awesome!
Yeah I have 2 siblings, both half-siblings and even though my mom and dad are divorced, my sister is still considered part of the family on my mom's side my baby brother gets cards and gifts from my grandparents on my dad's side everyone is still family even if it's complicated
I've encountered step-parents who are not only better parents than the biological ones, but seem to be in synch with their kids: an engineer who commiserates with his step-son who is solution-oriented with math but the teachers want to see a specific process; a man whose crafts style is very similar to his stepdaughter's; a lawyer whose stepdaughter is following in her footsteps.
As it should be! Children may not jave the choice to have this woman as a mom. Obviously, sh isn't one of those parents that loves a child regardless of their parentage! She should never adopt and id think she wouldn't, based on her comment that he is treated the same, yet he isn't. Because in my mind, you marry a dad, you marry the child or children. Whether they consider you a parent or not. You can still love them unconditionally, as every child should be. You cant give them back Except in extreme situations and only if the child's’ wellbeing is at risk.
"I don't want you to think he's being treated different because he really isn't". Asks for him (only him) to be edited out of a photo.
The kid is not living with them and this was his first visit. As usual the salty vinegary people of the internet like to get the knives out.
First visit in 6 months- that doesn't mean first visit ever. From the pictures it looks like the little one might be around that age, so the stepson may have spent time with them before that, just not while the baby was super tiny. Honestly I really think she should've just not put this out there and if she wanted it edited she should've just paid someone to do it instead of asking the internet at large to remove a child from a family photo.
I was just pointing out the contradiction between her words and her actions. The judgement has come from you.
When the kid grows up and realizes what happened, how hurt do you think he'll be? How much therapy do you think it'll take to realize they couldn't even extend basic decency to a child? I don't care if I'm even related to a kid, or that I've met them before, they are joyfully welcome.
ah, really David. That explains it all, he's just not part of the family because he doesn't live with them. What kind of logic is that?! People have all the right to feel salty vinegar whatever! He's still her step son, like it or not, he IS part of the family regardless. don't be an asshole as well. no kid should be treated this way. is her partner's child, at the end of the day is still a child still getting hurt. if she loves his partner she should be opened to his child as well, it comes to package deal.
"salty vinegary" xD
When she married her partner the step child became “her” child too. He IS family whether she likes it or not. It’s bad enough that she has him sitting away from her whilst the other children are on her. I feel so sad for him. If he is being put in the sidelines for family photos, I hate to think what else he misses out on etc.
I will play a devil's advocado a bit. It seems that the biological mom has full custody and the child sees the father just once in a while (first time in 6 months it says). It means he is not a full-time family member, sad but that is how divorces work. The stepmom didn't have anything against the stepson being on family photos, and it seems she is nice enough to him. We don't know why the kid stays on the side in the photos, maybe he doesn't feel like hugging a person who is almost a stranger to him? You can't make them all to love each other and be one big happy family if they see each other twice a year... I agree that the stepmom was not very sensitive to post her request online, but I can understand that she might want a couple of pictures only with what is her close family. Also, she admitted being insensitive and explained her reasons. Familly matters might be very complicated. The thing is, the kid would probably never even know, but now the whole thing got blown up...
No. She had six months to take pictures with her biological kids. Why did this have to be an issue right when the stepson was visiting?
Nevermind. I thought you said devils avocado and I loved it.
He is her close family. He is her husband's child, no matter how much he sees them. This was just disgusting. She doesn't know what to say because she knows how wrong she is.
I think he knows full well how step-mom feels about him, he's old enough to know exclusion when he sees it. Doesn't matter how often his father sees him, dad needs to make sure his son always feels welcome and loved, and if he doesn't see to that, the boy may be better off NOT seeing dad if he doesn't feel loved and supported. No excuses.
That's just too goddamned bad. She married a man with a child and it is her RESPONSIBILITY to include him. If she can't do that, maybe she should go back to being single. She's cruel and childish.
Well the father is a father every damn day. Divorce or not he sounds like a loser.
Having been there myself, the kid would know even if it wasn't out there in the public. And the thing that was insensitive was *not* posting the request online, but wanting to exclude him from the photo in the first place. She acknowledges that she can't explain it without sounding like a b*, but lacks the self awareness that that is because she is actually being a b*?!?! And where TF is the dad in all this?! And WTF with you saying he is not a full time family member? Like he only gets his fathers genetic material every other weekend and alternating holidays? Or will the younger kid only be part-time family members when they go to school and summer camp? And WTF with you saying "close" family? So he is less his father's son? Wow, you are cruel. I hope kids aren't subjected to you. And that kid is going to need major therapy down the road ...
She is undoubtedly a cow. Apparently, the kid doesn't live with them so she has plenty of opportunities to take pictures without making the kid feel an outsider. If she married a man who has a son, the son is part of the parcel, whether she likes it or not. The kid will always be his father's son, even if he and his mother are not together anymore. She's not only a cow, but a jealous cow. How can an adult be so mean to a child is something that escapes my understanding. Definitely, she's an immature, jealous, mean cow.
I disagree with your post. The tone of biomoms statement comes off as it's the dad's fault he only sees the kid every once in awhile. Like stepchild is the forgotten child and he rather be a parent to the kids with stepmom.
Exactly.
what is a devil's avocado like? that sounds awesome!
Are you kidding me? You can make a stranger feel welcomed, if you choose to.
Well said Eva!
I agree with you. the kid's family too but her full time family is her biological kids and her husband, there's nothing wrong with also wanting photos with Your family only. True, they could've chosen another day, but my guess is their get together was spontaneous and they had to include the stepson in the photoshoot even though initially it wasn't planned like that. Photoshoots are also booked so if the dad suddenly saw himself needing to take care of his kid for the day, that was a compromise. And yes, not seeing his child for 6 months is a lot, but we have no info about the reason and ALSO, that is not the stepmom's fault... People just like judging for the sake of it...
Eva. We know. Oh boy do we know that we are not wanted, not welcome, not valued, not loved, not worthy, never good enough for the step parent or the bio parent that are together
I can understand it too. It would be a different story if they had him every weekend, but this is the first time in 6 months that he's been with his father. We don't know what's happened previously either. Perhaps Dad wanted the boy in some photo's, not unreasonable, and mum wanted just her kids. Not unreasonable either.
I get why she wanted to have photos with her biological children only. But cuting kid out of the photo... It just seems wrong. We can only suspect how relations in family are going, but I think that her part is rather dad's new wife, than step-mother, it is a huge difference, and I think it is okay. I've never had an urge to see in my parents new life partners step-parents, and seeing them only as their partners is the most comfortable fir me. Putting at someone responsibility to be a mother of a child that she sees once for half a year is too much. And being honest, I think that biological mother was happy that new wife if her ex husband is getting roasted in internet, her comment was very focused at the aspect that she gets support and desiresld attention. My final thoughts: you don't know arrangements, family, situation, connections, backstory, so you are not at the position of judging their family relations
finally someone said what i was thinking
Thank's for playing devil's advocate; we need people who do this. In this case, though, that is not how divorces work. That is what some divorced people choose to do.
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No loving father ever went six months about seeing his kids
It really makes me mad she puts the kid far away on the pictures. she clearly does not care for him as she says she does.
We don't know if she put him that far away. He may not be a huggy kind of kid. He may have been shy. He may have been misbehaving / not following directions. I'll admit, that it does *look* like he's been put on the sidelines - but without actually being there, and having witnessed events on the day, it's impossible to know. Having worked in photographic studios, the images *rarely* are an true & accurate reflection the actual dynamic at the time. I've managed to create beautiful calm images, when the kids where screaming banshees for the entire shoot, and have also been unable to get all kids to be calm and smiling and looking at the camera simultaneously.... it's tough, and not always within the control of the adults.
She could have had the photo with her biological kids done on a different day or at a different time. Problem solved.
Jacob-Becca Gizmo the Squirrel: Devil's avocado is what I choose to take away from this entire post and thread. It's been a sucky day and avocados make everything better, devil be damned.
The only problem with avocados is that you can't coat them in chocolate. Well, you could, but please don't.
Reminds me of Seymour_the_squirrel and his avocado hat. Best thing on the internet.
No, he is not HER close family. He is her husband's child. It might work different if the kid lived with his dad and her - they would probably be closer then, which still doesn't mean she would love him like her own children. But if you agree to get into situation where you basically raise your stepson with your own children, then you commit to treat that kid like your own. She didn't, the kid lives with his bio mom. And from what I see it's the bio mom and all "righteous" people who made it into a big deal. Otherwise the kid would just come back to his mom after a weekend at dad's and didn't think twice about it.
What she did was indeed insensitive, but people seem to be glossing over or not even reading the "sees the kid every six months" part. That is a huge piece of the puzzle that makes it hard to have a meaningful relationship especially one as complex as step parent and child.
She has six months to do a family photo shoot without him. There was no need for her to wait for the rare occasion that he's around just to make him feel excluded. He's three. He is more than old enough to know he's being pushed aside.
"...which still doesn't mean she would love him like her own children..." That's just sad. In the scenario where the child lived with the stepmom and bio dad, I would certainly hope she would love him like her own children ... because he IS her own child in that scenario. And I would hope she could also love him like that even if he doesn't live with them. He is her husband's child, after all.
Not necessarily. A family friend of mine married a woman that basically told him she would have nothing to do with his twin daughters. She didn't want to be a mom. He goes on separate vacations with just his daughters, and rarely has them. I feel bad for them, but what can you do.
@Aunt Messy, I suspect you are just being nasty for the sake of it... Some people don't want to have children, but still fall in love with people who have children. For some people children are not the most important thing in the world, but it doesn't mean they are all "stupid bitches" or bastards...
Aunt Messy, were/are you a step child? Why so bitter and nasty?
You can not put a woman before your children? You can tell her if you can't love me for every part of my life then we shouldn't be together? Imagine being a child and your father says "Hey guys remember X amount of years that we've spent together? Well the woman Jm marrying doesn't feel like raising kids (idk their ages but they obviously aren't infants) sooo I guess you're out of luck" Now I wasn't there but anyone who would marry OUT of their children's lives probably doesn't deserve to have children, and any woman that expects a man to put his children aside (married or not) doesn't deserve to be in the dating pool IMO.
What an you do? Well, not you, but *he* could value his children more. I hope that story is not true, and merely the plot of Parent Trap.
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HE married the stupid bitch and he's punishing his kids for it.
Unless you are a step-parent yourself, I think this dynamic is difficult to understand & perhaps we shouldn't judge this woman so harshly. We are, literally, only seeing a snap shot of this wee family & this by no means give us the insight into the complexity of this situation.
Well said, point taken !!!
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When she married her partner the step child became “her” child too. .....no, no he didn't.
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Well. On the other hand. If my kid was in a picture with his fictional stepmom I would not appreciate it if those would be posted on social media. Something the stepmom might not have a problem with. So she might want pictures with just her biological kids for that purpose. The vile response from biomom raises flags for me.
That’s not why she did it though. If it was for social media reasons I would explain that. But the step mum admitted why and it had nothing to do with social media.
I have 3 boys - One has a different dad - credit to my Ex-husband as all my boys were treated the same by him and I will always love him for that. He still treats them the same. He even considers the grandchildren his!
That is awesome!
Yeah I have 2 siblings, both half-siblings and even though my mom and dad are divorced, my sister is still considered part of the family on my mom's side my baby brother gets cards and gifts from my grandparents on my dad's side everyone is still family even if it's complicated
I've encountered step-parents who are not only better parents than the biological ones, but seem to be in synch with their kids: an engineer who commiserates with his step-son who is solution-oriented with math but the teachers want to see a specific process; a man whose crafts style is very similar to his stepdaughter's; a lawyer whose stepdaughter is following in her footsteps.
As it should be! Children may not jave the choice to have this woman as a mom. Obviously, sh isn't one of those parents that loves a child regardless of their parentage! She should never adopt and id think she wouldn't, based on her comment that he is treated the same, yet he isn't. Because in my mind, you marry a dad, you marry the child or children. Whether they consider you a parent or not. You can still love them unconditionally, as every child should be. You cant give them back Except in extreme situations and only if the child's’ wellbeing is at risk.
"I don't want you to think he's being treated different because he really isn't". Asks for him (only him) to be edited out of a photo.
The kid is not living with them and this was his first visit. As usual the salty vinegary people of the internet like to get the knives out.
First visit in 6 months- that doesn't mean first visit ever. From the pictures it looks like the little one might be around that age, so the stepson may have spent time with them before that, just not while the baby was super tiny. Honestly I really think she should've just not put this out there and if she wanted it edited she should've just paid someone to do it instead of asking the internet at large to remove a child from a family photo.
I was just pointing out the contradiction between her words and her actions. The judgement has come from you.
When the kid grows up and realizes what happened, how hurt do you think he'll be? How much therapy do you think it'll take to realize they couldn't even extend basic decency to a child? I don't care if I'm even related to a kid, or that I've met them before, they are joyfully welcome.
ah, really David. That explains it all, he's just not part of the family because he doesn't live with them. What kind of logic is that?! People have all the right to feel salty vinegar whatever! He's still her step son, like it or not, he IS part of the family regardless. don't be an asshole as well. no kid should be treated this way. is her partner's child, at the end of the day is still a child still getting hurt. if she loves his partner she should be opened to his child as well, it comes to package deal.
"salty vinegary" xD