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11
Man Warns American BIL A Trip Might Be Too Active, He Doesn’t Listen, Gets Mad When It Really Is
If you are the sort of person who needs to drive to any location further than half a mile away, chances are you were born in North America. So if you’ve never been to any other continent, you might be forgiven for thinking that people also just drive everywhere.
A man asked if he was actually wrong to not make his family trip to China, intended for his half-Chinese son, more inclusive for his American brother in law who didn’t like walking places. We reached out to the man who made the post via private message and will update the article when he gets back to us.
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Visiting China will probably mean some walking, particularly in older parts of Cities
Image credits: varyapigu / envato (not the actual photo)
So one man ended up being called “inconsiderate” by his sister for not making a less cardio intensive itinerary
Image credits: thichas / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Dry-Rule7533
Folks from a car-centric country might find it hard to adapt to anywhere else
Image credits: Yunus Tuğ / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Many Americans arrive in China expecting to be able to take taxis or ride-hailing apps for most trips, only to find that walking is at the center of everyday navigation. Chinese cities, particularly older districts and dense urban centers, are often structured around the movement of pedestrians and public transportation hubs. Historic hutongs in Beijing, winding alleys in old towns like Lijiang, or crowded market streets in Shanghai can be inaccessible by private car, and the fastest way to move between nearby points is often on foot. This can surprise visitors accustomed to driving short distances back home.
Public transportation in China is extensive but usually involves walking before and after train or subway rides. Subway stations are plentiful in large cities, but accessing platforms typically means descending multiple flights of stairs or traversing long corridors. Exits open out into large plazas or busy streets, with additional walking distance required to reach the specific bus stop or zone you want. Not allowing for these transfers on foot, tourists underestimate the amount of time and energy needed to move around, and arrive fatigued or late.
As opposed to most European cities in which compact centers favor walking among attractions, Chinese cities combine similar pedestrian-friendly districts with vast suburban expanses. Tourists might imagine a quick taxi ride will take them directly to an attraction, but cars often drop tourists off at designated curbside locations, and then visitors walk through pedestrian-only blocks or parks to reach their destination. For example, going to city walls or temple complexes in cities like Xi’an or Chengdu involves much walking once arrived at the perimeter. Knowing that walking is involved in the experience of reaching these cultural sites creates more realistic schedules.
If you are planning to walk around Chinese cities, there are a few things to consider
Image credits: Sabel Blanco / pexels (not the actual photo)
Chinese cultural attitudes frame walking as both experiential and functional. Walking through street food markets, window shopping at shops in pedestrian malls, or walking among tea houses is friendly to spontaneous discovery. As opposed to the American inclination to view walking as a hassle, in China such walks are a component of interacting with local existence. Tourists who adopt this attitude value slowing down, viewing everyday rhythms, and taking note of details they would not notice from the window of a car, whether its street vendors preparing food or residential courtyards hidden behind narrow doorways.
There are also practical considerations. Pack light and wear the correct footwear are musts in China, where uneven pavement, crowded sidewalks, and steep slopes (like when visiting ancient towns in mountainous regions) are the rule. Those bulky bags might be fine in a car culture, but trudging them through train stations or on foot over bridges can be exhausting. Likewise, clothing choices suitable for a drive home by automobile will not always hold up to hours of pedestrian travel in close city or rural settings.
There are always some rules of thumb to traveling
Technology can help and also mislead. GPS applications will default to driving instructions or provide a location close to a destination without showing that the final stretch is pedestrian-only. In European environments, visitors are more likely to question walking directions, but in China they may not realize that a street labeled “nearby” entails walking through alleys or pedestrian zones. One can learn to use local mapping applications or switch to walking-mode directions to display more accurate routes and anticipated walking times, without any surprise on arrival at a location.
An understanding of local customs for walking and transit can improve the travel experience. In Europe, Americans can learn in a hurry that city centers are walkable. In China, the same lessons are available but on a larger and more varied scale. Preparing by researching the walkability around one’s accommodation, reading traveler tips on how to manage subway exits, and attitudinally embracing a pedestrian worldview can generate opportunity out of frustration. Embracing walking in China allows for interaction with residents, sampling street foods, absorbing urban textures, and appreciating the rhythm and scale of each neighborhood.
Ultimately, Americans who embrace expectations of walking during travel to China have a more satisfying experience. Rather than viewing travel on foot as a chore, embracing it as part of discovery is in line with the manner in which many Chinese navigate their cities. Whether walking along ancient streets, walking from station halls, or promenading along riverfronts, walking expands into a larger engagement with culture, history, and everyday rhythms that cars and taxis can’t. This knowledge and planning helps visitors to not be exhausted, to make realistic itineraries, and to discover the hidden joys of walking exploration.
He also gave some more info in the comments
Many readers thought he was not to blame for “Doug’s” issues
But some thought he could have planned better
Some readers thought everyone was a bit of a jerk
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What do you think ?
Shark Lady 5 months ago
If you have limited mobility it is up to you to research where you are going and whether it is something that you can manage. My mobility is extremely limited so when I'm invited to things I can't do, I don't go. I don't expect anyone to adjust their plans for me because after a while it breeds resentment. It sucks that there is so much I can't do but that isn't anyone's fault.
Fire Singer 5 months ago
100% the same. My husbands family is all very fit and active and like to go on long hikes and things like that. My family, not so much. However, whenever I travel with the In-Laws I never expect them to change plans for me. I can do most things they do, usually just slower, but there are some things I cannot do, like lots of stairs will destroy my legs. So I research what we're doing and if I know I can't do it then I don't go to that attraction. My self imposed limitations should not stop someone else from going on the vacation they want to have.
Load More Replies...
Littlemiss 5 months ago
This was my mother who thinks being a couch potato is a sport. She invited herself on our extremely fit aunt and uncles vacation. We met up with them and went on multiple walks, warned her repeatedly that there was going to be a lot of walking involved as there was little point in taking a car (no car parks, small destination). I got the eye roll of doom and the sarcastic responses from her about how she knew best. 10 minutes into walking to the hotel our aunt and uncle were staying at, mother starts panting and walking at a snails pace. 15 minutes she's red faced and started to moan about how hard it is asking are we there yet? We offered to get the car, but oh no she didn't need it and then when we arrived she started complaining about how we made her exhausted and how she's a poor old lady who has health problems and continues with the guilt trip. Aunt and Uncle are older than her, work out at the gym regularly.
DC 5 months ago
Doug sucks, but being straight-forward, more often than not, causes immediate fallout, but yet, the smaller, more plannable, preferable one. Things allowing to expect to cause conflict, can be sorted, or at least a serious attempt can be made. That said ... I'd not really plan around Doug on my own, but involve him in the planning as much as it concerns him. Free to opt out of everything he can't ... there's a tourist industry full of cheapo made up trash in China, too, aiming, likely, at the very likes of Doug. Like, dunno, Whack-A-Mao games or so, ...
Deborah B 5 months ago
Why didn't Doug just take a taxi and meet them at the market? He's an adult, and not infirm, just unfit. ESH here - OP should have been more direct upfront - "We will be walking for miles every day" and also suggested alternatives in the moment "You are not going to be able to keep up with everyone - why don't you take a taxi and meet us at the market, and we'll go through the park with the kids." Doug also needed to be more self aware, and find ways to enjoy himself without holding the fitter people back. I'm disabled - when you have mobility limitations, you have to accept being excluded from some activities, and work out compromises with other members of the group, and come up with your own plans when everyone else wants to do something physical you can't manage.
Squirrelly Panda 5 months ago
This is a tough, but when you ate the comparatively unfit one, it is up to you to consider the alternatives. When I went on a hike with family and friends that I suspected would be beyond me, I took a book with me, warned everyone that I might decide to stop part way, but they were to continue (same route up and back) on if I did. They were surprised when we reached a steep section and I announce that I would see them when they returned and pointed at the spot I would be waiting at, but after some protests about leaving me alone being unfair, they recognized the truth that it was reasonably safe there and very unfair to stop them from enjoying the full hike simply because I wasn't up to it. I enjoyed what I could, also enjoyed my book and quiet time in nature, and they enjoyed their full hike. Doug could have gotten a taxi and met up with them at the market, and that evening Doug could have had the kids tell him all about the park and its history.
Apatheist Account2 5 months ago
Also worth noting that cultures vary considerably on how to handle issues. I saw a triangle many years ago at work which was how likely people are to interrupt during a presentation: some cultures (eg Far East) are ultra-polite and wait until the end to ask questions, some (Caucasian, but not Canada) will stop you as you're going along, and others (eg Latinos) might stop and ask about something entirely different from what you've just said - it's just how people process information. As such, dealing with someone from a different culture can be awkward if you aren't sufficiently direct about key information. NB This is being racially and culturally aware, not racist; be aware of how you need to talk to people in the way that THEY need to hear the information to get the full picture.
sturmwesen 5 months ago
I am no sporty spice. if we go on vacation or day trips it's on me to check how much walking we will do. if I overestimate my will or my ability or my d**n ancle hurts I let others go ahead or find alternative routes. I am not a toddler FFS
Shark Lady 5 months ago
If you have limited mobility it is up to you to research where you are going and whether it is something that you can manage. My mobility is extremely limited so when I'm invited to things I can't do, I don't go. I don't expect anyone to adjust their plans for me because after a while it breeds resentment. It sucks that there is so much I can't do but that isn't anyone's fault.
Fire Singer 5 months ago
100% the same. My husbands family is all very fit and active and like to go on long hikes and things like that. My family, not so much. However, whenever I travel with the In-Laws I never expect them to change plans for me. I can do most things they do, usually just slower, but there are some things I cannot do, like lots of stairs will destroy my legs. So I research what we're doing and if I know I can't do it then I don't go to that attraction. My self imposed limitations should not stop someone else from going on the vacation they want to have.
Load More Replies... Littlemiss 5 months ago
This was my mother who thinks being a couch potato is a sport. She invited herself on our extremely fit aunt and uncles vacation. We met up with them and went on multiple walks, warned her repeatedly that there was going to be a lot of walking involved as there was little point in taking a car (no car parks, small destination). I got the eye roll of doom and the sarcastic responses from her about how she knew best. 10 minutes into walking to the hotel our aunt and uncle were staying at, mother starts panting and walking at a snails pace. 15 minutes she's red faced and started to moan about how hard it is asking are we there yet? We offered to get the car, but oh no she didn't need it and then when we arrived she started complaining about how we made her exhausted and how she's a poor old lady who has health problems and continues with the guilt trip. Aunt and Uncle are older than her, work out at the gym regularly.
DC 5 months ago
Doug sucks, but being straight-forward, more often than not, causes immediate fallout, but yet, the smaller, more plannable, preferable one. Things allowing to expect to cause conflict, can be sorted, or at least a serious attempt can be made. That said ... I'd not really plan around Doug on my own, but involve him in the planning as much as it concerns him. Free to opt out of everything he can't ... there's a tourist industry full of cheapo made up trash in China, too, aiming, likely, at the very likes of Doug. Like, dunno, Whack-A-Mao games or so, ...
Deborah B 5 months ago
Why didn't Doug just take a taxi and meet them at the market? He's an adult, and not infirm, just unfit. ESH here - OP should have been more direct upfront - "We will be walking for miles every day" and also suggested alternatives in the moment "You are not going to be able to keep up with everyone - why don't you take a taxi and meet us at the market, and we'll go through the park with the kids." Doug also needed to be more self aware, and find ways to enjoy himself without holding the fitter people back. I'm disabled - when you have mobility limitations, you have to accept being excluded from some activities, and work out compromises with other members of the group, and come up with your own plans when everyone else wants to do something physical you can't manage.
Squirrelly Panda 5 months ago
This is a tough, but when you ate the comparatively unfit one, it is up to you to consider the alternatives. When I went on a hike with family and friends that I suspected would be beyond me, I took a book with me, warned everyone that I might decide to stop part way, but they were to continue (same route up and back) on if I did. They were surprised when we reached a steep section and I announce that I would see them when they returned and pointed at the spot I would be waiting at, but after some protests about leaving me alone being unfair, they recognized the truth that it was reasonably safe there and very unfair to stop them from enjoying the full hike simply because I wasn't up to it. I enjoyed what I could, also enjoyed my book and quiet time in nature, and they enjoyed their full hike. Doug could have gotten a taxi and met up with them at the market, and that evening Doug could have had the kids tell him all about the park and its history.
Apatheist Account2 5 months ago
Also worth noting that cultures vary considerably on how to handle issues. I saw a triangle many years ago at work which was how likely people are to interrupt during a presentation: some cultures (eg Far East) are ultra-polite and wait until the end to ask questions, some (Caucasian, but not Canada) will stop you as you're going along, and others (eg Latinos) might stop and ask about something entirely different from what you've just said - it's just how people process information. As such, dealing with someone from a different culture can be awkward if you aren't sufficiently direct about key information. NB This is being racially and culturally aware, not racist; be aware of how you need to talk to people in the way that THEY need to hear the information to get the full picture.
sturmwesen 5 months ago
I am no sporty spice. if we go on vacation or day trips it's on me to check how much walking we will do. if I overestimate my will or my ability or my d**n ancle hurts I let others go ahead or find alternative routes. I am not a toddler FFS
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