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57
BIL Goes On A Vacation In The Middle Of Renovations, Comes Back To See His Gift For Help Gone
Being a homeowner comes with the challenges of upkeep of your home. Recent data shows that 80% of homeowners in the UK are saving for some kind of home improvement project. One of the most popular rooms to renovate is the kitchen, as 27% of homeowners say they renovated their kitchens in 2022.
This couple finally saved up for a new kitchen and asked their brother-in-law and his company to do the job. Yet, they soon found out that family and renovations don’t go that well together, as the BIL ditched the renovations and went on a holiday.
Having to live in a house that was half destroyed, the husband chose to serve the BIL some petty revenge.
RELATED:
A couple asked their BIL’s company to carry out their kitchen renovation
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
They soon regretted it when he suddenly disappeared mid-renovation
Image credits: Stefan Lehner / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Samuel Cruz / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Faruk Tokluoğlu / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Lovethosebeanz
Many homeowners DIY their home improvement projects or ask family members for help to save money
Image credits: Pablo Merchán Montes / unsplash (not the actual photo)
It’s not unusual to ask family members for help with renovations. According to a survey by Frontdoor, 40% of DIYers call a family member when a project goes south. And many younger people choose to do their renovations themselves, as 64% of homeowners aged 18-34 say they do so to save on labor costs.
However, a huge portion of people also don’t shy away from hiring professionals. According to a 2024 poll by Statista, 40% of homeowners hired a contractor to carry out their renovations. Specialty service providers, such as electricians, were the most popular (49%), as most folks probably don’t want to risk messing that up.
But general contractors (29%) got hired often as well. 22% of the respondents also said they chose to hire a design-related specialist, such as an interior, landscape, kitchen/bath, or lighting designer.
Yet, it makes sense that people would want to save on home improvement as much as they can. Last year, 45% of homeowners spent more than $5,000 on renovations, and 36% spent $10,000 or even more. A whopping 63% said they had to take on debt to cover the costs of their home improvement projects.
Asking family members to do home renovations may result in hurt feelings, disrespect, and a poorly done job
Image credits: Annie Gray / unsplash (not the actual photo)
While getting family members involved in your home renovations can be easier on your wallet, it may cost you a lot of nerves. There are several things that may go south when a brother-in-law, dad, or other relative does your home improvements.
- It could seriously damage your relationship. Family members may feel more comfortable with giving you unwanted advice or forcing ideas on you. While professionals would carry out your vision without questioning it, family members might start suggesting things you’re not up for, resulting in a fight.
- They don’t see you as a boss. When you hire a contractor, they’re obligated to fulfill your vision. A family member that works as a contractor might not take this as a serious job and think of it as doing you a favor—even if they’re being paid.
- They may be (too) brutally honest. A professional avoids insulting their client and their taste. A family member doesn’t hold back, as it’s proven that we’re less likely to worry about insulting those who are close to us. A simple “Do you really want to go with that color?” might hurt your feelings more than anticipated.
- The quality of the renovations may suffer. Just like the BIL in this story did, some people may not take their family members’ renovations seriously. A paint job might end up with splashes and splotches on the floor, decorative brackets missing outside of the house, and more.
Although the wife initially pushed to hire her brother, she later regretted it, too
“[Don’t] use family for these sort of jobs,” people in the comments advised
Many had similar stories of being in “contractor hell” and shared them in the comments
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What do you think ?
Christos Arvanitis 5 months ago
Contractor here. What the BIL did in abandoning the project and going on holiday was inexcusable. Poor communication to say the least. I recently turned down a bathroom gut project because they didn't have a second bathroom and they had no place to stay for the 6 weeks that it would have taken me. BIL sounds like a bad contractor. That said, not talking to the guy and smashing up the butcher block island was childish not to mention contributing unnecessarily to the landfill. Why don't people just talk to people?
Blue Bunny of Happiness 5 months ago
Smashing the butchers block probably felt very cathartic
Load More Replies...
The Starsong Princess 5 months ago
Pretty standard with contractors - five weeks means ten weeks. Anyway, you should have moved in with your bil while the work was going on - I guarantee that would have motivated him to move faster.
sturmwesen 5 months ago (edited)
right now the contractors our landlord hired are in month 10..of 3. at least the indoor stuff is just optics (for example they managed to push a steel rod they should remove through 50cm wall into the bedroom...don't ask me how)landlord throws a hissy fit if you dare to ask about a timeframe.
Load More Replies...
Ripley 5 months ago
I dunno, I guess it depends on the family. My brother did my bathroom reno, and he did *such* a fantastic job, and it was done in the best time possible - considering it was during COVID lockdown . . .
Melissa Harris 5 months ago (edited)
There are two types in these situations. The one that does a great job because you are family and they want to do right by you. Then there's the other type that treat you worst than their regular customers because you're family; what are you going to do about it? You really lean the truth about a person when money is involved. Are they trustworthy or are they a selfish b*****d. Before hiring a family member make sure you either REALLY know them or are willing to see their warts.
Load More Replies...
Little Bit 5 months ago
I would never ask family to do any kind of work in my house. I did it once with my kitchen and bathroom and although they did a good job and I was grateful, it took months. They would turn up after 11am, do an hour's work, then go back home for lunch. They would get back at around 2pm and then down tools and finish for the day by 4pm.
Ghostpotato 5 months ago
I have a relative who is always trying to guilt trip anyone doing any kind of renovation into hiring her son. He's a criminal who has even stolen from his own grandmother, no one who knows his history would ever let him near their home.
Francois 5 months ago
Most builders are doing similar things. Often start a job, because other trades e.g. plasterers are working in their other project before they can go back and finish the other job. But going on a holiday and working on little project of their own on site, that's is not typical.
Michelle C 5 months ago
This is why I don't use family for major stuff, because it doesn't matter if you're paying them they will not make you a priority.
whineygingercat 5 months ago
Nepotism belongs in the arts, not in construction/plumbing/electrical work
AngelWingsYT 5 months ago
Think my fam hired your fam to redo our garage to a family room xD a 2-3 week job took 5+. Work for a few hrs a day 3 maybe 4 days a week. Weeks of them just not coming (2 different weeks everyone got the flu). They finally got it "done" in may (was supposed to be done feb) save the ac unit. Week after week it was put off. We finally told em forget it n got other ppl to install it. No word back from the first person/vroup but fam wants money back given they took longer than planned by a LOT didnt finish and the paint job was not great
david kichi 5 months ago
Need a contract even with family members so you'll have something to show for when you take them to court to get money for all time wasted and to pay a company to do it.smfh
Mike F 5 months ago
There's a reason the old expression "familiarity breeds contempt" was coined and this is a perfect example. When you hire someone, either friend or relative, they can (not always of course) assume some license in their dealings with the job/family. It might be something simple and stupid like making their lunch out of your pantry or drinking your coffee or expensive tea or more serious like putting your job on the back burner for another "quick" job to offset the price they gave you. Too often it becomes the source a family quarrel that ends up with hard feelings on both sides. My brother got involved in a similar situation when he hired a friend to expand his pantry to accommodate his laundry machines. They dealt with the cr@p for months until he finally put his foot down and the guy finished up. The new wall looked like a 7 year old put it up and there was drywall dust all over the house.
Natalia 5 months ago
I think the expression about not mixing business with pleasure is more applicable here
Load More Replies...
Claudia Stieble 2 months ago
That reminds me of a friend of mine. Her family had asked her to buy the old family home and it needed to be updated, like the wires and plumbing. Her step dad said he would do it. At that time she lived in Australia but was on her way back home. He said he would have it done by the time she would return (around 3 months). She believed him. She and her husband arrive and nothing is done, besides the old wires and plumbing ripped out. The stepdad said, he will finish it in the next two weeks, something had came up in his company and he couldn't finish it. Over the next 6 months he had only replaced the plumbing, they still only had cold water, but no central heating and no hot water. It took 5 years before they finally had everything done. I've asked her countless times why, she didn't hire a contractor to finish it, but she did not want to disappoint her step dad. Tbh, I would not have moved in and would have sent Stepdad the bill for the hotel room until it was done.
Šimon Špaček 5 months ago
I saw some projects that went sour, but not like this. Yes, I saw a "one afternoon project" to take nearly a week, but the original project was just replacing the top desk in kitchen and it ended with replacing most of the kitchen furniture (mostly for mold), fixing pipes and repainting part of the walls, so it was not that bad.
Jonathan Setter 5 months ago
back in the 80s my parents came into some money and wanted to renovate. Mum decided to go with her brothers friend. WHO EVERYONE KNEW WAS A CROOK. So as expected, he farmed most of the work off to a mate while constantly asking for more money. My Mum learnt a valuable lesson, just because a thief is a "friend" doesn't mean he wont steal off you too. This was AFTER the time he bought two fishtanks off her at "family and friends" rates and just sold them for a profit. Even as a child my BS meter was spot on and I had always hated his guts.
Damned_Cat 5 months ago
Having been through reno hell a couple of times, I read this story with a knot in my stomach. Reminded me of the time we hired a guy to do a new roof who just kept sending red flags all along the way. First, he was a week late in starting because the prior job had offered him more work and he decided to stick to that job. Then, he tells us that he will put his "second crew" on our roofing job. They show up and just stand around until their foreman shows up with a truck full of brand-new-in-the-box power tools which the workers leave outside in the rain on days that they can't work, and we end up having to put them away. Finally, the workers stop coming in the middle of the job. When the foreman shows up to collect the tools, he tells us they have never been paid. The original contractor tells us he has been on vacation with his wife. Apparently, he only accepted the job from us to get the $$ to take her Florida. Fired him and had to find another guy to finish the job.
Christos Arvanitis 5 months ago
Contractor here. What the BIL did in abandoning the project and going on holiday was inexcusable. Poor communication to say the least. I recently turned down a bathroom gut project because they didn't have a second bathroom and they had no place to stay for the 6 weeks that it would have taken me. BIL sounds like a bad contractor. That said, not talking to the guy and smashing up the butcher block island was childish not to mention contributing unnecessarily to the landfill. Why don't people just talk to people?
Blue Bunny of Happiness 5 months ago
Smashing the butchers block probably felt very cathartic
Load More Replies... The Starsong Princess 5 months ago
Pretty standard with contractors - five weeks means ten weeks. Anyway, you should have moved in with your bil while the work was going on - I guarantee that would have motivated him to move faster.
sturmwesen 5 months ago (edited)
right now the contractors our landlord hired are in month 10..of 3. at least the indoor stuff is just optics (for example they managed to push a steel rod they should remove through 50cm wall into the bedroom...don't ask me how)landlord throws a hissy fit if you dare to ask about a timeframe.
Load More Replies... Ripley 5 months ago
I dunno, I guess it depends on the family. My brother did my bathroom reno, and he did *such* a fantastic job, and it was done in the best time possible - considering it was during COVID lockdown . . .
Melissa Harris 5 months ago (edited)
There are two types in these situations. The one that does a great job because you are family and they want to do right by you. Then there's the other type that treat you worst than their regular customers because you're family; what are you going to do about it? You really lean the truth about a person when money is involved. Are they trustworthy or are they a selfish b*****d. Before hiring a family member make sure you either REALLY know them or are willing to see their warts.
Load More Replies... Little Bit 5 months ago
I would never ask family to do any kind of work in my house. I did it once with my kitchen and bathroom and although they did a good job and I was grateful, it took months. They would turn up after 11am, do an hour's work, then go back home for lunch. They would get back at around 2pm and then down tools and finish for the day by 4pm.
Ghostpotato 5 months ago
I have a relative who is always trying to guilt trip anyone doing any kind of renovation into hiring her son. He's a criminal who has even stolen from his own grandmother, no one who knows his history would ever let him near their home.
Francois 5 months ago
Most builders are doing similar things. Often start a job, because other trades e.g. plasterers are working in their other project before they can go back and finish the other job. But going on a holiday and working on little project of their own on site, that's is not typical.
Michelle C 5 months ago
This is why I don't use family for major stuff, because it doesn't matter if you're paying them they will not make you a priority.
whineygingercat 5 months ago
Nepotism belongs in the arts, not in construction/plumbing/electrical work
AngelWingsYT 5 months ago
Think my fam hired your fam to redo our garage to a family room xD a 2-3 week job took 5+. Work for a few hrs a day 3 maybe 4 days a week. Weeks of them just not coming (2 different weeks everyone got the flu). They finally got it "done" in may (was supposed to be done feb) save the ac unit. Week after week it was put off. We finally told em forget it n got other ppl to install it. No word back from the first person/vroup but fam wants money back given they took longer than planned by a LOT didnt finish and the paint job was not great
david kichi 5 months ago
Need a contract even with family members so you'll have something to show for when you take them to court to get money for all time wasted and to pay a company to do it.smfh
Mike F 5 months ago
There's a reason the old expression "familiarity breeds contempt" was coined and this is a perfect example. When you hire someone, either friend or relative, they can (not always of course) assume some license in their dealings with the job/family. It might be something simple and stupid like making their lunch out of your pantry or drinking your coffee or expensive tea or more serious like putting your job on the back burner for another "quick" job to offset the price they gave you. Too often it becomes the source a family quarrel that ends up with hard feelings on both sides. My brother got involved in a similar situation when he hired a friend to expand his pantry to accommodate his laundry machines. They dealt with the cr@p for months until he finally put his foot down and the guy finished up. The new wall looked like a 7 year old put it up and there was drywall dust all over the house.
Natalia 5 months ago
I think the expression about not mixing business with pleasure is more applicable here
Load More Replies... Claudia Stieble 2 months ago
That reminds me of a friend of mine. Her family had asked her to buy the old family home and it needed to be updated, like the wires and plumbing. Her step dad said he would do it. At that time she lived in Australia but was on her way back home. He said he would have it done by the time she would return (around 3 months). She believed him. She and her husband arrive and nothing is done, besides the old wires and plumbing ripped out. The stepdad said, he will finish it in the next two weeks, something had came up in his company and he couldn't finish it. Over the next 6 months he had only replaced the plumbing, they still only had cold water, but no central heating and no hot water. It took 5 years before they finally had everything done. I've asked her countless times why, she didn't hire a contractor to finish it, but she did not want to disappoint her step dad. Tbh, I would not have moved in and would have sent Stepdad the bill for the hotel room until it was done.
Šimon Špaček 5 months ago
I saw some projects that went sour, but not like this. Yes, I saw a "one afternoon project" to take nearly a week, but the original project was just replacing the top desk in kitchen and it ended with replacing most of the kitchen furniture (mostly for mold), fixing pipes and repainting part of the walls, so it was not that bad.
Jonathan Setter 5 months ago
back in the 80s my parents came into some money and wanted to renovate. Mum decided to go with her brothers friend. WHO EVERYONE KNEW WAS A CROOK. So as expected, he farmed most of the work off to a mate while constantly asking for more money. My Mum learnt a valuable lesson, just because a thief is a "friend" doesn't mean he wont steal off you too. This was AFTER the time he bought two fishtanks off her at "family and friends" rates and just sold them for a profit. Even as a child my BS meter was spot on and I had always hated his guts.
Damned_Cat 5 months ago
Having been through reno hell a couple of times, I read this story with a knot in my stomach. Reminded me of the time we hired a guy to do a new roof who just kept sending red flags all along the way. First, he was a week late in starting because the prior job had offered him more work and he decided to stick to that job. Then, he tells us that he will put his "second crew" on our roofing job. They show up and just stand around until their foreman shows up with a truck full of brand-new-in-the-box power tools which the workers leave outside in the rain on days that they can't work, and we end up having to put them away. Finally, the workers stop coming in the middle of the job. When the foreman shows up to collect the tools, he tells us they have never been paid. The original contractor tells us he has been on vacation with his wife. Apparently, he only accepted the job from us to get the $$ to take her Florida. Fired him and had to find another guy to finish the job.
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