There is a popular psychological exercise called "Writing to yourself at an earlier age". This actually helps a person to realize what mistakes they made in the past, accept them and, if possible, become more calm and balanced in the present - after all, in fact, these mistakes cannot actually be changed.
Well, we all make mistakes - especially in our teenage years, when life energy literally overflows, our own life experience is still very small, and someone else's advice seems so insignificant and, let's be honest, so stupid. Some of these mistakes just remain in the past, causing only a feeling of shame over the years. Some of them, on the contrary, affect our entire subsequent life.
A popular thread recently appeared in the AskReddit community with over 12.7K upvotes and nearly 8K comments. The topic starter suggested that redditors perform the same exercise, only in a simpler form, by just answering the question "What was your biggest teenage mistake?"
Bored Panda has collected for you the most popular answers from this thread, where there are both sad revelations and funny moments that are shameful to remember, but at least fun. And perhaps the most correct comment in this collection is from a teenager who thanks people for listing the mistakes that they will try to avoid in their life. We hope they succeed...
Anyway, now scroll to the very end, like your favorite submissions and, of course, share your own stories - after all, we know that nobody is perfect!
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Marrying my 18-year-old self to a 40-year-old who'd been grooming me for three years, just to spite my mother.
0/10, would not recommend.
Same. Only my ex was 50 and I was 18. We'd only known each other a year. Did get 2 really awesome kids out of that otherwise 18yr disaster, though!
Looking back at the way I treated this one girl. I was cruel and thoughtless. I’m 50 now and it still hurts me.
I am in my teenage years rn and i realised i can learn from your mistakes, thanks redditors
Worried too much about trying to "fit in" and being concerned about what others were thinking.
As a teenager I did the same thing and didn't enjoy my teens years like I should have. I keep telling my siblings (who are now teenagers) to lighten up and have fun, no one cares that much. They aren't listening.......
Coasting through school on being bright and never learning to study. University was a shock and just about managed my 2:2
This! Study habits are hard to learn later on and are very necessary for higher education and job success.
I did not rebel. My parents incessantly accused me of rebelling and general debauchery despite being in a huge club sport on scholarship, being involved in school councils, having extra curriculars like orchestra, and art (which I always won awards for), having a 3.6 GPA, being the first in my family on track to go to a huge university, etc etc etc.
I spent my high school life hopping in between crying, self-loathing, and suicidal ideation when I could have been having fun and enjoying my childhood. I spent too much time wondering why my parents didn’t love me instead of doing something about it and refusing to respect them.
i was in the exact same situation in high school, and i finally chose to do some of the things they were constantly accusing me of. might as well have fun if they're not going to believe you anyway. but... i do not recommend this lol
I took teenage stereotypes too seriously. Like I thought the kind of dynamics you saw in teen moves were real- jocks were all dumb a*sholes, nerdy kids were smart virgins, etc. It took me an embarrassing amount of time to realize that people are people and that I was severely limiting myself by assigning myself a "role."
Not getting the hint that my friend, the beautiful Patricia, wanted to be WAY more than friends.
Not pursuing my passion when i have the age,health and time with me
Definitely. So many regrets. I didn't train as a midwife because of some BOY and the relationship never even got off the ground.
Not realising that my parents weren’t doing the best job raising me/preparing me for adulthood and realising I should maybe take matters into my own hands.
High school football. My doctor advised me against it but I was 14 and knew everything. Putting my body through four years of abuse was not worth what I got out of it.
Today I’m 33 and wake up with a stiff neck every day, my right shoulder has a ton of scar tissue, my elbow has a bone chip, my jaw clicks/pops if I open it too wide, and both of my knees ache when it gets too cold.
Also our team sucked.
What kind of backwards awful school allows kids to injure themselves this badly in school sports???
Not seeing women the same as men.
Turns out, we're all people.
Forcing myself to fall in love with a girl. I didn't love her, I was in love with the idea of a girlfriend. Now to be fair, she made the same mistake. She didn't love me. It was a bad relationship.
Most people are in love with the idea of being in love. We learn and grow, there's no shame in this.
Not being more sociable. I’m 25 now and I have no f*****g idea how to make friends
As a suggestion, you could go on the internet and look up social clubs, meetups, and so on in your area. Maybe there's a program (art, archery, whatevs) that interests you that you could get involved in..its a step to meeting new people which would help you to become more social at your own pace.
I was a rather negative person as a teenager, but tried to play it off as sarcasm instead. I somehow had grown into this weird bubble where I made fun of almost every little thing, but didn't really realize that I was also hurting my friends by doing that.
I did lots of growing up after high school, and I'm a bit sad about not keeping in touch with my old friends. They might have liked me more today than they did back then.
Well it's also annoying when people don't understand sarcasm at all and just become angry with you
Not losing kilos from the beginning, i know it may be sound stupid but being an overweight teenager made me become an outcast everywhere, kids and adults can be cruel and even self esteem was bad. I only lost those kilos near the end wish i did it much sooner
Started having sex too young which lead to mistakes and pregnancies too young, and losing a baby as a child was too much. I’m still not sure I’ve recovered.
Guys, whoever sees this, look at the comments below this one, find the replies made by Gay Bear and DOWNVOTE THE HELL OUTTA THEM
My biggest teenage mistake was not being kind to myself. My teenage years were some of the hardest in my life( hopefully).
Trauma after trauma, disappointment after disappointment. And i always blamed myself for them all.
It wasn't until recently i could start looking back and realized that it really wasn't my fault. I did a lot more than most would have in my situation. And that even though i had terrible teenage years, its not a reflection on who i am, but more a reflection on what i was going through.
It makes comming to terms with losing out on that part of your life much easier. And i wish i had this mindset much earlier.
I’m in the middle of this. I have severe depression and social anxiety. Childhood trauma. Only a few close friends, and I have screwed up all of my relationships so far. Too introverted to make more friends, terrified of letting anyone be close to me again. I gave my heart to a manipulative guy. I’m literally only halfway through my teens, and it’s been awful. Not sure how to continue. Therapy is helping, but things are just getting worse. I realize that life is not supposed to be happy all the time, but this year has sucked. And last year. And the year before. The other day, I finally told someone the truth when they asked how I was doing. Then they told me that these should be the best years of my life. I don’t know. It just seems pointless. I’m taking meds, finding hobbies, being interactive (to a point). I’m trying it all. I’m trying to make it better. It’s not working. And there seems to be no end. Impossible. Tomorrow I’m hosting a game night. I have to put on a game face…
When I had the opportunity, I did not go to study, but decided to go to work right away
I don't want to be inconsiderate to the lack of context here (did you know what your dream job was from age 7 or hadn't a clue what to do at 16/18?) but...honestly...regret nothing. I left school at 17. Worked my way through a career I hated. Made a decent amount of money, not rich but comfortable. Then my mother died when I was in my 40's. Absolutely devastated. Sold up. Travelled for a while. Spent most of my savings. Then COVID hit. I'm now in my 50's, I work as a postman and I "get by" but love the job. I regret none of it. If it's the money you miss (or feel you missed), that's not the issue. Honestly, trust me... Live your life as best you can and enjoy it as much as possible (I just hope you are being afforded at least a *decent* living wage at what you are doing now...if you're struggling, that's a different issue and I would not wish this on anyone at all. Everyone, bar none, deserves a decent standard of living. Shouldn't even have to say it...)
I'm actually more worried about the mistakes I didn't make. Making mistakes means you're experiencing life. I was way too far in my shell to have fun.
I wonder why people associate 'fun' with 'making mistakes'. You WILL make mistakes throughout your entire life, but they're often far from fun and not per se the result from having fun in the first place. Having fun means you do what you love and want to do and you can do that at any moment in time.
Trying to be someone who I wasn't
Being a phony and hoping to pass it off? Definitely. An honest search for your true identity, trying various interests and relationships? That’s just being a mensch.
Spending a large inheritance I got when I was 18 in 2009. Could of owned a property outright by now
Must've been a very large inheritance with the current housing market
Never having had the courage to pursue girls or ask for help in figuring out how
I'm honestly having this problem with really wanting to talk to my crush, but when I get close I completely shut down, even though I do want to I just can't. Does anyone have advice that might help, because I don't want to also have this regret when I'm older
Shared bank account with girl at 19.
Having an online relationship with a girl throughout high school who broke up with me after I flew out to visit her. Those were years I could’ve spent dating the girl I’d had a crush on since fifth grade.
I took my uncle's beautiful restored classic car for a drive when I didn't have a license and got it impounded.
Being afraid of girls. Didn't realize that they were normal humans too, who just wanted to have fun and be liked. They were mysterious and scary, and I lost a lot of years being self conscious and shy.
Treating highschool as a obligation and not a opportunity. Not just social but economical gains and your own development are way greater effected by how you view your highschool years.
I was teased a lot when I was younger...I was chubby, and socially awkward. When I became a teen, I grew a lot, and lost a lot of weight. But, the damage to my self-esteem had been done.
One time, when I was in grade 11, I was sitting in the cafeteria. There were a group of girls sitting further down the table from me, looking at me, and giggling to each other. One of them passed me a note that said, "I like you, [my name]"...but they spelled my name wrong (a common mistake for my name). I tossed it back and coldly said, "You spelled my name wrong," got up and walked away.
God, I felt like a d**k afterwards. I thought they were teasing me, leading me into a trap, where I'd hit on one of them, and they'd all laugh at me at my expense. But...one of them (maybe all of them) really did like me, and they were all super cute. I crushed some girl hard.
I feel this one. I was the heavy,socially awkward guy for most of my time in school. The teasing and "jokes" that I happened really can slap down your self esteem. It made me defensive to everyone, even if they were being sincerely nice to me. It took a long time for me to really trust anyone, usually longer than they were willing to spend. And I'm still have that defensiveness to this day,decades later. Not as bad,but its definitely there.
Sold $200 worth of Bitcoins to a friend for tickets to a music festival back in 2011.
Back when I was just a young hoodlum I was out for a very late evening drive.
Nice cool air and my car was making good power. Which for a turbo 5.0 Mustang is quite a bit of power. I was cruising at 100 mph+ with occasional jaunts to much higher speed.
Came up to a town and saw a police road block. About the same time I saw lights about a mile behind me. I was pretty sure they couldn't have id'd me by that point so I took off. Did a little fancy driving and gave them the slip.....for awhile. Long story short it came down to wrecking my car or giving up an I decided to give up.
Felony fleeing the police in a motor vehicle, reckless endangerment and a couple other charges is what I ended up with.
I was 19 at the time.
Now I'm 33, I'm an engineer, married to a wonderful man who unfortunately I am not able to have children with. We looked into adoption, but with one of us being a former felon it's a bit of a nonstarter.
Man, I really do feel bad for you now You've grown and changed and want to change a child's life to be a happy one, but can't because of a mistake
Trying to be more mature.
Since childhood, I prided myself on being an extremely smart person who was above things like "cartoons" and "playing". Of course, I still liked those things, but I desperately tried to hide it even though literally nobody actually cared. While everyone my age was dashing to tab away from porn, I was tabbing away from Minecraft let's plays.
Even though I'm older now and know that people don't care, I still find myself tabbing away from cartoons and pausing games when people try to see what I'm doing. That instinct is still there. I usually just force myself to resume what I was doing, but I feel like I'd be better off if I didn't have the desire to prove myself to others as a kid.
Hey dont be ashamed of it! I do all those things on the list(and im afraid i have watched...that before, although i think ive grown now)
Doing an unsuccessful backflip on a trampoline
I second that. Broke my ankle on a trampoline. It's never been the same
Getting old
I don't know about you, but this happens waaaay too fast. One minute you're in love, getting married, having babies, working hard... and before you know it, it's time to retire. Your hips give way, your skin dries out, your back hurts all the time. Your GRANDSONS are over 6' tall! Friends and family dying all around you. It's downright scary as f*ck. Mortality sucks.
I didn't let myself have much fun. I always thought about things like I was already an adult and always had to be responsible and mature. There are a lot of things I passed up that could have been really fun had I just let myself enjoy life a little.
My best friend is like this! He would often sit on the sidelines while the rest of us had fun. I love his grumpy butt but I kind of hope he doesn’t come to regret it.
I robbed a gas station.
I didn't really do much of anything as a teenager. So it's hard to point to anything in particular as that big of a mistake. I would probably say downloading reddit is my biggest mistake.
Driving under the influence when I got my first car. I used to drive when going out with friends under the guise of not drinking, but inevitably I would end up having a couple drinks and would drive home anyway. Never got drunk to the point of being a severe danger behind the wheel, but it was still stupid as hell.
My 33yr old self shudders now at my own idiocy.
I thought the approval of that mob of fellow teenagers was everything. The teachers were just there to be my straight-men. Guess who really had the power to punch my ticket?
I regret not getting treatment for my depression, because parents told me I wasn't "depressed enough" to need medication, or to "play the suicide card". Instead I self-medicated with St John's Wort until my late 20s. SSRIs are a heck of a lot more effective. Just because you're functioning, and still getting up, and going to class, or to work, and pushing through to meet other people's expectations, it doesn't mean you're okay. You are not supposed to be living with constant dread, self-hatred, and mental anguish. You are not supposed to be pretending to be okay, while wishing each day that you could just die, and not have to do it any more. You're not supposed to be planning out ways to kill yourself without being "selfish" and inconveniencing others. Life's not supposed to be that hard. If this is familiar, please go to your doctor, and ask for help.
I reget not taking a chance on myself earlier in life by moving out of my parents home. Instead, I've stayed in a toxic environment where I'm disregarded, disrespected and treated unfairly. My daughter deserves better than to see me treated like this from "family"
I got used to rejection and also missing opportunities in general because I just "knew" that the opportunity was never for me to begin with. Rejection is part of life, but I have gotten so used to being rejected that I just allow myself to miss out on every opportunity just to avoid rejection in the first place.
I regret not getting treatment for my depression, because parents told me I wasn't "depressed enough" to need medication, or to "play the suicide card". Instead I self-medicated with St John's Wort until my late 20s. SSRIs are a heck of a lot more effective. Just because you're functioning, and still getting up, and going to class, or to work, and pushing through to meet other people's expectations, it doesn't mean you're okay. You are not supposed to be living with constant dread, self-hatred, and mental anguish. You are not supposed to be pretending to be okay, while wishing each day that you could just die, and not have to do it any more. You're not supposed to be planning out ways to kill yourself without being "selfish" and inconveniencing others. Life's not supposed to be that hard. If this is familiar, please go to your doctor, and ask for help.
I reget not taking a chance on myself earlier in life by moving out of my parents home. Instead, I've stayed in a toxic environment where I'm disregarded, disrespected and treated unfairly. My daughter deserves better than to see me treated like this from "family"
I got used to rejection and also missing opportunities in general because I just "knew" that the opportunity was never for me to begin with. Rejection is part of life, but I have gotten so used to being rejected that I just allow myself to miss out on every opportunity just to avoid rejection in the first place.
