GF Keeps Sending $1K/Month To BF For Rent, Horrified After Learning His Parents Own The House

What might start as a small lie about money can quickly escalate into manipulation, leaving one partner vulnerable and financially disadvantaged, and is often referred to as financial deception.

Today’s Original Poster (OP) a year of paying what she thought was rent turned into a shocking revelation that her boyfriend had misled her. Naturally, she was livid and had to make the tough decision to leave him.

More info: Reddit

When one partner is dishonest about money, whether by hiding debts or misleading their partner about shared expenses, it can shake the foundation of a relationship

Young couple smiling in cozy kitchen, highlighting relationship trust and issues around rent and deception.

Image credits: Wright Brand Bacon / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

The author and her boyfriend moved in together, and he asked her to pay $1,000 monthly to what she thought was rent

Text excerpt about boyfriend lying and extorting rent money while claiming it was for her good, relationship conflict context.

Text excerpt describing a boyfriend lying and extorting rent money from girlfriend under false pretenses.

Text about boyfriend lying to girlfriend for a year, extorting $13k as rent while parents own the house.

Text from a boyfriend explaining $13k was sent as a gift, pretending it was for her good under the guise of rent.

Text excerpt showing frustration over financial deceit, highlighting boyfriend lies and $13k extortion under the guise of rent.

Image credits: bf_throwaway137

Young couple arguing on couch, tense relationship showing boyfriend lying and extorting money under false pretenses.

Image credits: Camandona / Freepik (not the actual photo)

After a year, she discovered from his mother that the house actually belonged to his parents and they weren’t charging rent

Text excerpt about boyfriend helping with expenses, highlighting boyfriend lies and extorts money under guise of rent.

Text excerpt revealing boyfriend lied and extorted $13k from girlfriend under the guise of rent over a year.

Text message expressing confusion and upset as boyfriend lies and extorts money under the guise of rent for her good.

Text about boyfriend lying and extorting $13k rent from girlfriend while claiming it was for her good.

Text on white background discussing parents' misunderstanding about rent payments in a relationship context involving lies and extortion.

Image credits: bf_throwaway137

Young woman sitting on a couch with arms crossed, looking upset and contemplative in a bright living room.

Image credits: user21155762 / Freepik (not the actual picture)

When confronted, the boyfriend claimed the payments were a “gift” meant to teach her about saving and insisted she was misunderstanding him

Update text from ex girlfriend about boyfriend lying and extorting money under the guise of rent for her own good.

Text on a white background describing a conversation where one person tells a mother about leaving and explains the whole story.

Text excerpt discussing a boyfriend lying to girlfriend for a year and extorting money under the guise of rent.

Text excerpt from a message explaining a situation involving an apology and taking pictures of rooms.

Text excerpt about receiving a $15k check after a year of boyfriend's rent extortion and lies.

Image credits: bf_throwaway137

She eventually decided to leave, contacted his mother for support, and later received a $15,000 check as partial restitution

When the OP and her boyfriend moved in together, he handled all the “boring” landlord details. He told her to send $1,000 a month to a landlord account supposedly the rent for their cozy new house. For a full year, she dutifully transferred the money, struggling to stay afloat on a grad student income.

However, when speaking with his mom, she accidentally spilled the beans that the house was actually owned by her and her husband, and that they weren’t charging rent at all. In that moment, the OP realized that every cent she’d sent which was over $13,000, had been quietly pocketed by her boyfriend.

When she confronted her boyfriend, he claimed he was saving the money for her as a gift, to show her how much she’d saved over the year. Instead of feeling touched, the OP was rightfully furious as she’d been missing out on basic necessities, thinking she was broke, while he enjoyed a rent-free life.

The OP then decided enough was enough and told him she was leaving him with or without the “gift money” to which he responded that if she left, he’d keep the money for himself. Following this, she called his mom who after confirming the story, scolded the boyfriend and told the OP to take photos of everything before she left. A few days later, she received a $15,000 check and a heartfelt apology from the boyfriend’s mom.

Hands placing cash into an envelope symbolizing rent extortion and deceit in a relationship context.

Image credits: Kateryna Hliznitsova / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

According to The Hotline, maltreatment in relationships can take multiple forms, each designed to control, manipulate, or harm a partner. They highlight the various forms including verbal maltreatment, physical maltreatment, emotional maltreatment and financial maltreatment. They also note that recognizing these forms of maltreatment is crucial for understanding unhealthy dynamics.

Building on financial maltreatment, Psych Central explains that it involves controlling or manipulating a partner through money, and can include restricting access to bank accounts, sabotaging employment opportunities, or demanding excessive control over spending.

They also note that other tactics include hiding financial accounts or income and being dishonest about money in ways that affect shared financial decisions, but that it is key to identifying financial maltreatment and protecting oneself as it often restricts independence and creates strain.

In fact, wealth protection educator John Stevenson, financial maltreatment or infidelity is more common than many realize and can harm relationships as deeply as emotional cheating. He explains that its is a breach of trust that can cause significant emotional pain, resentment, and erosion of confidence in the relationship, often leading to the end of the relationship.

Netizens were shocked and outraged by the ex-boyfriend’s behavior, calling him controlling and dishonest. They emphasized that he likely never intended to return the money, and praised the OP for recognizing the red flags and leaving the relationship despite the financial manipulation.

What would you do if you were in the OP’s shoes? What would you do if you found out your partner had been secretly taking your money for a “surprise gift”? We would love to know your thoughts!

Netizens applauded the ex-boyfriend’s mother’s foresight and concern, and contrasted it sharply with the ex’s manipulative and exploitative behavior

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a boyfriend lying and extorting $13k from his girlfriend under the guise of rent.

Screenshot of online comment explaining boyfriend lied and extorted money under the guise of rent for a year.

Comment from Reddit user discussing a dishonest boyfriend who extorted $13k under the guise of rent from his girlfriend.

Screenshot of a social media comment discussing a boyfriend lying and extorting $13k under the guise of rent.

Text message screenshot showing a user describing a boyfriend lying for a year and extorting $13k under the guise of rent.

Comment discussing how Mom asked OP to photograph rooms to prevent false claims from Ex, related to boyfriend's lies and extortion.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment saying Mom is a saint and Son is the opposite, discussing relationship deception and extortion.

Online comment discussing a boyfriend lying and extorting $13k under the guise of rent, revealing relationship red flags.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment calling out a boyfriend for lying and extorting $13k under the guise of rent.

Screenshot of a social media comment discussing a boyfriend lying and extorting $13k from his girlfriend under false pretenses.

Reddit comment about stepkid’s mom insisting on charging rent and saving it in an account under the guise of gifting later.

Text conversation screenshot showing a user accusing their boyfriend of financially extorting rent money under false pretenses.

Screenshot of an online comment about a boyfriend lying and extorting $13k from his girlfriend under the guise of rent.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a boyfriend lying and extorting $13k under the guise of rent.

Red and white text conversation about a boyfriend lying and extorting $13k from his girlfriend under the guise of rent.

Screenshot of an online comment exposing a toxic boyfriend lying and extorting $13k in fake rent from his girlfriend.

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