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150 Dark Humor Jokes For All The Dark Comedy Enthusiasts Out There

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Have you ever laughed so hard at a joke that you knew was inappropriate but couldn’t help yourself? That’s the power of dark humor jokes, an art form that literary critics have associated with authors as early as the ancient Greeks! It feels like black humor is designed to make you giggle at the most inappropriate times. But the point is, sometimes we need to laugh at the bad things life throws at us with a well-delivered dark joke, even though those around us may find it offensive.

So this is a call to all the dark comedy junkies out there! Are you tired of those lame vanilla jokes that could be good for a kid but not for your twisted sense of humor? Are you craving your daily fix of messed-up jokes? What a happy coincidence! You are in luck because today is the day we gather all the best dark humor jokes we fell in love with and share them with you. So let’s get started, shall we?

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#1

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

157points

Dmitri Johnson 2 years ago

this one has a point

67points

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#2

Do you know the phrase “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”?
Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.

142points

Mason Williams 1 year ago

That's some damage there.

3points

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#3

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend."
Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."

140points

Down With Agent Hedgehog! 2 years ago

Well duh

19points

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#4

I'd like to have kids one day.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

132points

Down With Agent Hedgehog! 2 years ago

You absolute genius

45points

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#5

Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face.
My parents are the worst.

128points

Masha Aguer 2 years ago

Lol happened to me

27points

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#6

"Just say NO to drugs!"
Well, If I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes.

120points

Misty Z 2 years ago

The only problem with drugs is when you run out 🤣

33points

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#7

The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun.
The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.

120points

Piccolo 2 years ago

Simple

26points

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#8

Wife: "I’m pregnant."
Husband: "Hi pregnant, I’m dad."
Wife: "No, you’re not."

120points

Subrata Pradhan 2 years ago

oops, are u from Lodon BTW

15points

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#9

My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87

119points

Down With Agent Hedgehog! 2 years ago

Ha!

34points

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#10

I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.

116points

Shlok Patel 2 years ago

Indeed

21points

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#11

I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins.
I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

116points

Down With Agent Hedgehog! 2 years ago

Dark.

28points

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#12

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies.
She is not “fun to be around”.

114points

Simone Saur 2 years ago

Funny cuz... some couples really be feeling this way about each other... Oof

22points

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#13

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

113points

Joe Bloe 2 years ago

Papa John rigged the vote! It was a domino effect.

62points

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#14

“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.

102points

What even is this 2 years ago

I have no words

17points

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#15

My son, who's into astronomy, asked me how stars die.
"Usually an overdose, son", I told him.

99points

Pb Jelly 2 years ago

Lmf@$

12points

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#16

Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”

97points

Ossandra White 2 years ago

Welp.

21points

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#17

Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife.”

93points

Masha Aguer 2 years ago

Damn... Ouch

21points

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#18

Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
They kill people.

93points

Ossandra White 2 years ago

Problem? They also kill the environment.

30points

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#19

Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.

92points

Masha Aguer 2 years ago

Ohh no... Why am I laughing.. 💀

34points

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#20

Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one.”

92points

Stuki 2 years ago

Delete the baby.

30points

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#21

When my uncle Frank died, he wanted his remains to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.

91points

Masha Aguer 2 years ago

Omg it's 2 am and im I trying to laugh as quietly as I can so not to wake up my gf..

27points

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#22

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It's true. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

88points

Pb Jelly 2 years ago

Wow really

7points

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#23

"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.
"Give me the good news first," the patient said.
"Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."
"That's the good news?", the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"I've been trying to reach you for two days."

88points

Masha Aguer 2 years ago

(O_o)

22points

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#24

Today, I asked my phone, “Siri, why am I still single?”.
And it activated the front camera.

86points

Masha Aguer 2 years ago

Sad music plays in the backround

26points

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#25

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

85points

Ron H. 2 years ago

😂🤣😂

8points

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#26

"What's your name, son?" The principal asked his student.
The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir."
"Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked.
The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."

84points

Rita Rose 2 years ago

Anyone remember the Starbucks employee that did this?! He wrote the guys name exactly how the customer said it (with stutter) something like 'R R R Roger'. Think he got fired or something. And I'm glad he did!

44points

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#27

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

82points

Pb Jelly 2 years ago

Hahahaha. They will return them eventually lol

15points

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#28

Never break someone's heart, they only have one.
Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

79points

Shlok Patel 2 years ago

Fax

17points

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#29

I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

79points

Pb Jelly 2 years ago

Good one

12points

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#30

My favorite novel is "The Hunchback of Notre Dame".
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.

78points

Dmitri Johnson 2 years ago (edited)

no this one is so messed up

20points

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#31

You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.

78points

Down With Agent Hedgehog! 2 years ago

Me

20points

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#32

I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.

76points

Junior Farrell 2 years ago

😳

9points

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#33

Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”
Man: “Am I dying?”
Doctor: “No, your wife is.”

76points

Suhaan's virtual world 2 years ago (edited)

Man : ohh thank god

24points

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#34

When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.

74points

Pb Jelly 2 years ago

Ouch

11points

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#35

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

73points

Kate 2 years ago

That's one hell of a match...

22points

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#36

If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you're a total hero.
But donate five and suddenly everyone is yelling. Sheesh!

73points

Pb Jelly 2 years ago

Hahahaha

10points

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#37

Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.

72points

Masha Aguer 2 years ago

Sad but true

15points

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#38

What do my dad and Nemo have in common?
They both can't be found.

71points

Kailey Findley 2 years ago

But...but Nemo was found...🥺

23points

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#39

What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.

71points

Julianne Robichaud 2 years ago

Unless it's the Magic School Bus, which can do anything

24points

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#40

A kid decided to burn his house down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes.
He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

70points

2 years ago

Bruhhhh (It look me a minute XD)

18points

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#41

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."

67points

Trania Pratt 2 years ago

And I oop....

9points

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#42

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working."
I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

66points

Pb Jelly 2 years ago

Smart woman

10points

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#43

A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad", the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."

65points

Trania Pratt 2 years ago

O.M.G. .... humiliating isn't the word....like your daddy dissed you....to your imagination.....o.0

17points

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#44

A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Do you have any last requests?”
“Yes,” replies the murderer. “Can you please hold my hand?”

65points

What even is this 2 years ago

Now THAT is commitment

17points

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#45

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.

65points

Masha Aguer 2 years ago

Oh no... Why am I laughing

19points

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#46

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back?

65points

What even is this 2 years ago

Covering up bad xomments

16points

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#47

"I work with animals," the guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.

64points

Masha Aguer 2 years ago

Oh... Leaves awkwardly

21points

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#48

My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

63points

Trania Pratt 2 years ago

Then most of us are there with you then, I laughed so hard at every single one of these so far

9points

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#49

What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.

62points

Down With Agent Hedgehog! 2 years ago

Lmao.

10points

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#50

Where did Joe go after getting lost on a minefield?
Everywhere.

62points

Down With Agent Hedgehog! 2 years ago

O_o

15points

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#51

My wife says making love is even better on holiday.
I wish she didn’t tell me via email.

62points

Aethel Fairy 1 year ago

IT TOOK ME A WHILE

1point

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#52

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus. And I lost my job as a bus driver!

59points

Jesse Alvarez 2 years ago

10 points

13points

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#53

A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."

58points

Ossandra White 2 years ago

Badump TINK! 🥁

14points

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#54

What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.

58points

Down With Agent Hedgehog! 2 years ago

Kinda sad…

12points

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#55

Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. His hunting buddy immediately calls 911.
"My friend isn't breathing," he shouts into the phone. "What should I do?"
"Relax," the operator tells him. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There's silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"

57points

What even is this 2 years ago

I've seen this on the internet before

5points

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#56

My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.

56points

Clara 2 years ago

Clever!

5points

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#57

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

56points

Shiran De Montaigne 2 years ago

Nah, none, because they took the light bulb out. Dark is nice. Don't ruin the dark.

31points

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#58

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
He later told me it was the most violent book he’d ever read.

56points

Masha Aguer 2 years ago

Oh no...

8points

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#59

I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

55points

Kara Bismarck 2 years ago

🤣

6points

#60

I have a fish that can breakdance!
Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

55points

Pb Jelly 2 years ago

Dead fish... upside down

7points

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#61

I wasn't close to my father when he died.
Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.

55points

Trinity Cottrell 2 years ago

Pfffft! Hahahahahahahaha! As someone with an abusive father, I love this joke! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

11points

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#62

Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight.
Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

54points

Elisa 2 years ago

Oh my goodness

5points

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#63

My boss told me to have a good day.
So I went home.

54points

Masha Aguer 2 years ago

Seems about right

8points

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#64

If you think I would joke about Alzheimer’s, forget it.

54points

Cory Willson 2 years ago

You have a problem with jokes about dementia? Thats funny, I don't remember asking.

34points

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#65

I'll never forget my Granddad's last words to me just before he died.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"

53points

Cubbypotato 2 years ago

Guess not

6points

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#66

My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

51points

Masha Aguer 2 years ago

Ohhh... Wow.. You can give them a funeral

7points

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#67

You’re not completely useless.
You can always be used as a bad example.

50points

Masha Aguer 2 years ago

Oh! Maybe I am useful after all

13points

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#68

They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach.
But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.

50points

Existing Panda(Lazy_Panda) 2 years ago

Covering up a down-voted comment ;)

7points

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#69

I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.

50points

Masha Aguer 2 years ago

Have a safe landing

8points

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#70

My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"
They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

49points

Simone Saur 2 years ago

I bet there's ppl tempted to actually do this

14points

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#71

My parents raised me as an only child, which really annoyed my younger brother.

49points

Pb Jelly 2 years ago

This doesn't happen in every family?!!

7points

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#72

For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.

48points

Mason Williams 1 year ago

Emphasis on "Small Stain"

5points

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#73

They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.

47points

Navindu Wijewardena 2 years ago

I think this is on the fact that the police or something draws a chalk outline around a dead body

8points

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#74

I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.

47points

Elisa 2 years ago

Just keep ducking

10points

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#75

Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.

47points

simfan all day every day 2 years ago

Lmao

2points

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#76

I have a joke about trickle down economics.
But 99% of you will never get it.

46points

Trania Pratt 2 years ago (edited)

Joke is literally only the 1% benefit from the myth that is trickle down economics.

7points

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#77

A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but you only have ten left."
The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?"
The doctor calmly looks at him and says, "Nine."

46points

Cubbypotato 2 years ago

8

14points

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#78

My grief counselor died the other day.
He was so good at his job, I don't even care.

46points

Ghaniyah Verma 1 year ago

Dang!

1point

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#79

I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette.
It went in one ear and out the other.

46points

2 years ago

and I oop-

7points

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#80

Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.

45points

Cory Willson 2 years ago

You just haven't found the right friends

27points

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#81

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

44points

Down With Agent Hedgehog! 2 years ago

Oh. I get it.

4points

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#82

The guy who stole my diary just died.
My thoughts are with his family.

44points

Silas Nash 2 years ago

I don't get this one

2points

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#83

I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof.

44points

Existing Panda(Lazy_Panda) 2 years ago

Pffft- I am laughing at so many of these

5points

#84

Grandma: "Most people your age are married by now, why aren’t you?"
Me: "Most people your age are dead by now, why aren’t you?"

44points

What even is this 2 years ago

They have a goal to get you married, obviously

6points

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#85

A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”

43points

Elisa 2 years ago

I will feel the same way eventually

4points

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#86

Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!

43points

George Nichols 2 years ago

Well the problem is then your skin becomes all ashy.

15points

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#87

Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.
Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life.

42points

What even is this 2 years ago

Pancakes were one of my favorite foods

8points

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#88

Son: "Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?"
Dad: "Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place."

42points

Masha Aguer 2 years ago

Why can I relate?!

6points

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#89

My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.
He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.

42points

What even is this 2 years ago

Someone's trying to get upvoted

2points

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#90

Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?
When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach."

41points

Mason Williams 1 year ago

Ofc, two Instrumental Art Composers- a battle to the death.

1point

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#91

Did you hear about the guy who got his left side chopped off?
He's all right now!

41points

Masha Aguer 2 years ago

Lol noo I laughed so hard I woke up my gf...

15points

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#92

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.
"She obviously has COVID", my wife said.
"Why?", I asked.
My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste."

40points

What even is this 2 years ago (edited)

Well then you must not either

15points

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