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Bebe Rexha has sparked a debate about relationship dynamics after questioning men who are in their “Soft Girl era.”
In a since-deleted TikTok video, the 35-year-old singer said: “I’m all about guys being in touch with their feminine side, like I love that for you, but it’s hard to be in your Soft Girl era when all the guys are in their Soft Girl eras.
Highlights
- Bebe Rexha sparked controversy by questioning men who are in their “Soft Girl era” and in touch with their “feminine side.”
- Bebe said that if all men behaved that way, she would have to be both “the boyfriend and the girlfriend” in the relationship.
- Many criticized her comment for reinforcing traditional gender roles, while some men said they felt confused by finding love in the 21st century.
“Like, do I gotta be the boyfriend and the girlfriend?”
Though the star did not define what the “Soft Girl era” means or specify how she expects men to behave, her controversial comments quickly sparked a wave of different reactions.
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Singer Bebe Rexha questioned men embracing their “Soft Girl era,” asking, “Do I gotta be the boyfriend and the girlfriend?”
Image credits: beberexha
“We know exactly what she’s saying even when she’s trying not to say it,” one user wrote on X (formerly Twitter).
“There’s a reason guys don’t feel they can be vulnerable and this is why,” noted someone else.
“Because frankly some women do not want to deal with their vulnerability. It’s showing their own immaturity for a real relationship while reinforcing the reason the problem exists.”
A separate user emphasized that if Bebe associated masculinity with emotional “strength” and femininity with “softness,” the ideal partner should have a balance of both.
Image credits: beberexha
They also cautioned Bebe to be mindful of her dating preferences.
“You just gotta find that in-between because I promise you that you don’t want a guy that’s too into the idea of masculinity where they’re borderline misogynistic,” they wrote.
“I love a guy in touch with his emotions but balance is key,” a woman agreed.
Meanwhile, a man slammed Bebe’s stance, saying: “This sh*t so annoying. Men take a couple steps back from the 60s’ era men control everything relationship dynamic and now all of a sudden we soft lmao.”
Someone else called her take “cringe,” while a separate user wrote: “I don’t really get this logic…”
Image credits: beberexha
Others noted that the recent cultural shift, which challenges the labeling of behaviors as “manly” or “feminine,” and the expectations placed on each gender, has left many straight men confused in the dating scene.
One person shared: “This is why dating is so hard now, everyone’s switching roles.”
“Women constantly say they want men to be more feminine, then the moment they are, it gets thrown back in their face,” another wrote.
An additional user disagreed. “What she’s saying is that a man should be masculine but also have the kind of emotional empathy that’s usually associated with femininity. That’s not a contradiction.”
Another woman defined “men with a feminine side” as “not being afraid to show vulnerability and sharing his feelings, emotional intelligence, and being nurturing.”
The star’s since-deleted video sparked a debate about relationship dynamics and gender roles
Image credits: beberexha
Bebe Rexha talks about relationship dynamics:
“I’m all about guys being in touch with their feminine side, like I love that for you, but it’s hard to be in your Soft Girl era… when all the guys are in their Soft Girl eras — like, do I gotta be the boyfriend and the girlfriend?” pic.twitter.com/pawpBJXRd8
— Pop Base (@PopBase) March 27, 2025
“Women want a balance of masculine; strong, dominant (non sex*al), confident, decisive, etc. & feminine.”
Others criticized women who, in theory, oppose the patriarchy and the idea that men should free themselves from the social mandate that dictates they cannot be vulnerable, yet, in practice, reject that very vulnerability when choosing a partner.
Bebe was in a relationship with cinematographer Keyan Safyari between 2020 and 2023.
She announced their split during a concert in London, telling her fans, “Now, I just went through a breakup, so I might get a little emotional, so you need to help me here.”
The breakup announcement came after the In The Name Of Love singer shared screenshots of text messages allegedly sent by Keyan in which he criticized her body.
Many users slammed her take, arguing that men should be allowed to be vulnerable without being criticized
Image credits: beberexha
what happened to the “I pay my own bills I pay my own rent cause im independent” era? @beberexhapic.twitter.com/Rf2NtYYKeo
— stevie motordrome (@stevieforyou) March 27, 2025
“I always said I would be honest with you and your face was changing so I told you it was…that was the conversation we were having and you asked,” read the text, which Bebe posted on Instagram. “Because I care, would you rather I lied to you?”
He then pointed out that Bebe, who has been candid about her weight fluctuations, had gained “35 pounds [approx. 15 kg].”
“Obviously you gained weight and your face changes? Should I pretend it didn’t happen and that it’s ok? Come on I gain 3 pounds and you call me chubbs and fat. Doesn’t mean you don’t love me.
Image credits: beberexha
“If you’re trying to find reasons to break up this makes sense…but it’s not the real reason.
“You know I have always found you to be beautiful and loved you no matter what,” he wrote.
According to People magazine, the star is now dating architectural engineer Simos Liakos.
Many people felt the ideal partner should have a balance of the traits associated with masculinity and femininity
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