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People Suggest New Names For Badly Named Things And These 50 Make So Much More Sense
Interview With Expert
When you sit down for a while and really start thinking about language objectively, you realize that a lot of things don’t really make much sense. There are inconsistencies and irregularities to account for. Not to mention philological decisions that simply sound illogical. But that’s the reality of language—the way it organically evolves isn’t always tidy.
Redditor u/johnnylgarfield started up an intriguing thread about linguistics on r/AskReddit. They asked everyone what, in their opinion, is badly named and what a better name for it would be. For example, why is a group of squid called a ‘shoal’ instead of a ‘squad’? It’s a head-scratcher! Scroll down for some interesting suggestions—both witty and serious—to improve the English language.
Bored Panda got in touch with Lisa McLendon, Ph.D., from the University of Kansas. She shed some light on the challenges that people run into when trying to rename something, as well as the factors that influence how language evolves. We also reached out to the author of the viral discussion, redditor u/johnnylgarfield. Read on for both of our interviews.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I'm not the first to say it, but "pick-up artists" and "garbage men" should swap titles.
Jinx (she/her) 1 year ago
I once watched from the window as the "pick-up artist" threw my entire trash can in the back of the truck without even trying to empty it.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
Well any man who calls himself a "pick-up-artist" is a garbage human being who is also a man so kinda there already.
Marcellus II 1 year ago
That was the joke, minus the compliment to bin men?
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Lisa McLendon, the William Allen White professor of Journalism and Mass Communications and the coordinator at the Bremner Editing Center, explained to Bored Panda that some of the biggest challenges when renaming something include habits, the reasons behind the change, and practicality.
“People get used to certain names for things, and new names may need quite some time to take hold. A good example of this is when a business buys the naming rights to a stadium but fans keep calling the stadium its old name,” she told Bored Panda in an email.
"Another challenge is whether people see a reason for a change. A lot of formerly acceptable names for groups of people or conditions are mostly gone (in polite company, anyway) because people realized they were offensive or disrespectful and wanted to change them," McLendon said.
RELATED:
#2
Why is a group of squid called a shoal when it should be called a squad?
Kevin the Manager 1 year ago
A crowd of crows. A busy of bees. A barren of bears. A kit of kittens. A prance of ponies. A leap of leopards. A harem of hares. A wiggle of worms. A squiggle of squirrels. A ruin of Republicans.
Nilsen 1 year ago (edited)
Languages change all the time. Thanks to Monty Python one of the "approved" words for a group of baboons is a "f.l.a.n.g.e" (which according to Merriam Webster is a rib or rim for strength, for guiding, or for attachment to another object, not a word to describe certain part of female anatomy) in addition to the traditional "troop". If you want to call a group of squid a "squad", you are free to do so :)
Marcellus II 1 year ago
Most of the "right" terms for groups, especially animals, in English are 15th century memes. Look up the 1486 Book of St Albans, written by a prioress --- she snuck in "a superfluidity" as collective noun for nuns!?!
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Marcellus II 1 year ago
It's not specifically. A shoal is the generic group term for fishes, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shoaling_and_schooling (are squid fishes? do fishes exist? don't open that can of seafood; e.g. https://medium.com/illumination/there-is-no-such-thing-as-a-fish-eca048dd6163 )
Load More Replies... Marcellus II 1 year ago
TIL difference between a school and a shoal of fish --- it's the same word in the other languages I know.
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Cat Dragon 1 year ago
S.Q.U.I.D Squad is the name of a series of minecraft books. They're actually pretty good
#3
Dentures. Should be Substitooths.
"A third challenge is simply practical: ALL of the places where the old name exists need to be changed to reflect the new name. An example of this is when a city wants to rename a street to honor someone. People may like the idea, but when it comes to changing addresses everywhere, it takes a lot of time and money."
The professor explained that some of the factors that influence how we change the name of things are actual change, politics, usefulness, respect, and novelty. “In general, ‘top-down’ efforts to change any part of language are a more arduous process than organic changes to language that develop through everyday use.”
It makes sense to change the name of the things when they change themselves. “For example, the USSR broke up, and each one of the countries that (re)gained independence afterward changed its name to drop ‘Soviet Socialist Republic.’ However, this isn’t always enough: Another example is Twitter being renamed X, but everyone still calls the posts 'tweets,'" Mclendon said.
#4
Jet ski. Dumb name. Obviously it is a Boatercycle.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago (edited)
So that's not a picture of a Jet Ski. Jet skis are ridden from a standing position. That's a personal watercraft AKA a Waverunner. Waverunner is a genericized trademark owned by Yamaha for that type of vehicle. It's a really common mistake though.
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
Waves can't run. They don't have feet!
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Downunderdude 1 year ago
I am very conflicted about these. I've ridden one and they are great fun, but they are horribly noisy and riders (not me, natch) are usually jerks.
Marcellus II 1 year ago
Any tool can be abused. Quads are incredibly valuable on farms, but stupidly annoying in cities.
Load More Replies... Brain-In-A-Vat 1 year ago
One of the first types of these was called the 'Wetbike' . . . https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wetbike
Definitely a Human 1 year ago
Except it isn't a boat, or does any cycling. However, it is literally a ski powered by a jet.
#5
I keep seeing people say that contractions should be birthquakes.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
Dare I ask? When contractions are occuring, what's actually contracting?
My O My 1 year ago
And the cervix. The default "position" for the cervix is tightly closed it is a muscle. For birth the cervix has to open up and, easy put, gets cramps along the way. The Cervix has to go from a 0 to 10cm tunnel. The uterus also contracts and finally all tummy muscles you have to push the baby out. The most painful is the damn cervix cramping. Btw. It also opens 1 sometimes 2cm during menstruation
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#6
S’mores flavored Oreos are NOT called “S’moreos.”
I mean, what are they even paying their marketing people for?
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
I guarantee that's what the crew working the production line that makes them calls them.
Regina Holt 1 year ago
And I imagine the Lucy and Ethel on that production line!
Load More Replies... Bobert Robertson 1 year ago
My daughter didn't like the word bagel when she was 3 and came up with Donut Toast instead and I can't believe this never caught on before.
T J R 1 year ago
Love it! My daughter couldn't remember the name of soft tortilla shells, while sitting down at dinner one night, so she asked us to please pass the Meat Bread.
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Eroe Infinito 1 year ago
I wish they would bring back "Carrot Cake" and "Red Velvet." Those two flavors were tasterifical.
Kevin the Manager 1 year ago
And with that, "tasterifical" has been added to my lexicon. Thank you!
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Stealthzilla 1 year ago
I think I had one that was labeled that though, I remember thinking it was funny
Stealthzilla 1 year ago
Yeah maybe this is fake but I found a picture of it IMG_3213-6...54655.jpeg 
Devon Archer 1 year ago
This is just irresponsible. The pun squad of squid are ink red in fury.
Scott Rackley 1 year ago
We would not lose a lot of things if marketing people were transported to the namibia desert and left there. What would we lose?
Meanwhile, it really does matter what we call things. "Politicians use names to try to shape the narrative. Calling a conflict a war, a rebellion, an invasion, or a skirmish influences how people think about it.”
We also have to consider whether a new name is needed or useful. We need to ask ourselves whether a new name clarifies or distinguishes one thing from another. If that sort of change is needed, it's more likely that the public will use the new term.
Something else to ask ourselves is whether the new term is clever or distinct enough to warrant the change. "A 'squad of squid' is much more interesting than a 'shoal of squid,' so people may like it enough to make that change easily," the professor mused.
She also noted that "changing a name to honor someone or something or to get rid of an outdated or offensive name happens regularly, and usually pretty easily."
#7
"Randomized Double Blind Trial" should be "Trick or Treatment".
Auntriarch 1 year ago
There is apparently a paper on fungi called Fantastic Yeasts and where to find Them
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Marcellus II 1 year ago
"Trick or treatment" very much doesn't sound double-blind to me, so disagree.
#8
Emotional baggage should be called grief-case.
Marcellium 1 year ago (edited)
Just finished playing Psychonauts earlier today less than an hour ago and all I could think of when reading Emotional Baggage was that silly tune that plays Ɛ>
#9
Miscarriages. Think about that - it’s essentially accusing the woman for “mis-carrying” the pregnancy. It places the blame on women for something that’s almost always outside of their control, and traumatic to boot. A much better and more descriptive term would be “pregnancy loss”, which is already used widely in many settings.
Alewa 1 year ago
I don't hear it as accusing the woman, I just hear that the body was not able to support the pregnancy through no fault of its own.
Deborah B 1 year ago (edited)
Different if you are the pregnant person. You were "carrying" your baby. You "miscarried" it, and now it's dead. The word implies "you carried your baby wrong, so it died". Pregnancy loss recognises the loss and grief someone is feeling, instead of shaming or blaming the pregnant person. A lot of the terms can feel like they assign blame to the pregnant person. "Incompetant cervix" "hostile uterus." "blighted ovum" "threatened miscarriage" "spontaneous abortion". Edit: For clarity, I have never been pregnant - this is based on what other people have shared with me of their own experiences.
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Joshua Moore 1 year ago
I’m in the U.S. My ex-wife and I miscarried with our first and on our discharge paper work from the ER it was labeled as spontaneous abortion. I personally had a problem with this because an abortion is a choice, imo, obviously sometimes medically necessary. This was 3 days before Xmas. We were planning on telling our family on Xmas day. Damn, that was a rough year. 2 days after the following Xmas, our first child was born. We have two beautiful children now. 😁🥰
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Kare Deter 1 year ago (edited)
Miscarriage is a layman's term. It is technically referred to as a spontaneous abortion.
Marcellus II 1 year ago (edited)
Given that the vast majority of the population is (by definition, for every topic) a layman, and this is an absolutely normal (and all too common) occurrence, the layman's term is the relevant one. The technical term is relevant if you're speaking about some thingymajig in nuclear engineering or brain surgery; not here.
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WindySwede 1 year ago
The crazy part is in some countries (or at least one) you could end up in jail for this!! Forgotten where I saw ghis, but ghe mom was arrested at the hospital. 🫨
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Jasmyn JAY 1 year ago
People just sit at home of things to make up in their heads and complain about. Like who thinks of a miscarriage that way but people with entirely too much time on their hands.
Marilyn Holt 1 year ago
There's nothing accusatory about 'miscarriage'. And the word places no blame.
Kel_how 1 year ago
I had a coworker try to work while losing a baby. She wasn't very far along, but I wonder how often that happens.
Becca not Becky 1 year ago
In the first trimester, about 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. Much more common than people think.
Load More Replies...Meanwhile, Bored Panda also got in touch with the author who created the thread about renaming things in the first place, redditor u/johnnylgarfield. They were kind enough to answer our questions as well.
We asked them how they would change the English language if they suddenly had the power to do so. The Reddit user told us that they would most likely start by changing "the spelling of a few words." That way, they'd hope to make them easier to pronounce.
#10
Any bacon alternative that is not named Fācon is an abomination.
Mindi Rhoades 1 year ago
In another meat replacement category, I like chicken’t as a possible name. Bacon’t sounds a little dicey in American English.
#11
Otto Preminger wrote his own biography and failed to title it Otto-Biography. Once in a lifetime pun, and he just threw it away.
Floeckchen 1 year ago (edited)
Because legendary german comedian Otto Waalkes allready claimed that title
james stevenson 1 year ago
German comedian must've been in the army. The Super-Heavy tank 'Maus' (mouse) and the tiny RC tracked mine 'Goliath'
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P R 1 year ago
Yes. The Internet. Amazing thing for learning, researching...
Load More Replies... Marcellus II 1 year ago (edited)
Fay Weldon's autobiography is called Auto da Fay!!! [You must be familiar with the perversely named "Act of Faith" (Auto-da-fé https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auto-da-f%C3%A9 ) as administered by the thoroughly perverted Spanish, Portuguese and Mexican Inquisitions.]
#12
Bee Hotels - lil wooden structure that solitary bees can nest in from time to time.
That's great - support local wildlife etc.
But seriously, who was the marketing genius that decided NOT to call them all "Bee&Bee"s??
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
Just give them toast and butter. They've already got the honey.
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English, like most other languages, can be very frustrating to learn for complete newcomers. Bored Panda wanted to get the OP's thoughts on what new learners ought to keep in mind if they find themselves struggling or overwhelmed.
"English is a bit of a complex and intricate language," u/johnnylgarfield shared with us.
"Don't let the little things get to you," they encouraged everyone to keep doing their best.
According to the author of the r/AskReddit thread, they didn't quite expect the amount of attention that their question got on Reddit.
"I always wondered what things aren't named well and should be renamed," they revealed the inspiration behind the thread.
#13
I can't believe I'm the first to say sexual tension should be renamed to Bangxiety.
Lotekguy 1 year ago
By definition. If everyone were vulgar, then that would just make everything that used to be naughty the norm. No more envelope-pushing fun.
Load More Replies... #14
Hot water heater. It's really a cold water heater.
Definitely a Human 1 year ago
Yep. That's what it's called outside the US
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Scarlett O'Hara's Ghost 1 year ago
It's not really called a hot water heater. The correct name is water heater. If the waters already got, there's no need to heat it...
#15
Butterflies should be Flutterbys.
JB 1 year ago
In our yard they are called exactly this. We love to watch them and the runny babbits as well
Judy Reynolds 1 year ago
Kid I knew growing up called them runny babbits, and I have never heard anyone else use the term! Thanks for the memories!
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3 possums in a coat 1 year ago
they were, but were mispronounced many times, so Butterfly was just adopted instead.
If we had the power to rename everything and anything, we could have a lot of fun. A snake could become a ‘danger noodle.’ Meanwhile, a hedgehog could proudly call itself an ‘ouch mouse.’
However, changing language inorganically is a heck of a task. You would essentially have to convince the majority of English speakers that a thing they’ve been calling one way their entire lives should be called something else.
You would need to provide a compelling reason for everyone to learn to call a thing something else. Not only that, but all of those people then have to get into the habit of calling the thing the name you tried to convince them is more logical. This is going to take a lot of time, resources, and repetition.
#16
Now You See Me 2.
Should have been Now You Don't.
Sergio Bicerra 1 year ago
True, never seen so many tricks out of their butts it looked just ridiculous.
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Devon Archer 1 year ago
all the tricks were just cgi garbage. I mean the actors should have gone to magic camp!
#17
Daylight savings. Should be "pointlessly mess up everyone's sleep cycle".
Trophy Husband 1 year ago
I've read that it wasn't actually for farmers like Manny believe. It was actually an Englishman who was in love with parks and noticed that people don't go to the park after work because it gets dark too quick, so he lobbied until he got it passed. Neither explanation makes a whole lot of sense, but this one is corroborated by articles in the paper at the time.
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Jeremy James 1 year ago
In the few days following the "Spring-forward and lose an hour of sleep" change, there is usually a very significant spike in the rate of heart attacks and strokes. Sleep is important.
Lotekguy 1 year ago
I might buy that correlation, if the "fall back " triggered a concomitant drop in those occurrences.
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Becca not Becky 1 year ago
Let's just pick a time and STAY there. No more back and forth. Have you noticed it starts earlier and ends later every year? I remember when it would start in April and end in October. Now it starts mid March and ends mid November
Donald Crocker, Jr. 1 year ago
NO, I want universal standard time, I want my hour of sleep back and I want to keep it forever.
Load More Replies... María Hermida 1 year ago
Where I live (northwest Spain), in summer there is a two-hour difference between the "real" midday (the position of the sun) and the clock. We should be in the same time zone as Portugal, but it would be messy to have two different time zones in the same country. I know some countries have several different ones, but we are Spanish. It would be chaotic.
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not your average weirdo 1 year ago
as someone who lives somewhere with no daylight savings: what is it even for?
PrettyJoyBird 1 year ago
We dont know anymore. Every yr govt says it was voted on to be done away with yet keep doing it twice yrly
Load More Replies... #18
Hedgehog. Should be Needlemouse.
CK 1 year ago
Nah, I like things that are named after two things they aren't. My favorite fruit is a pineapple.
Jeremy James 1 year ago
A peanut is neither a pea nor a nut. A chickpea is neither a chick nor a pea. Rhode Island is neither a road nor an island. Dr. Pepper was neither a Doctor nor a pepper. The Partridge Family were neither partridges nor were they a family. Discuss!
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Charlotte A. 1 year ago
And something like leech-pinecones in Swedish for some reason...
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Spencer's slave 1 year ago
They're hedgepigs to my Grandkids, like rhinos are battle unicorns, peacocks are disco chickens and skunks are fart squirrels. Milk is cow juice. Kids need to name everything.
Starwhisper Nighthush 1 year ago
And chicken eggs are called "hen fruit".
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It’s much easier to do this with new concepts, products, and technologies. Just look at how quickly AI spread across the globe and became a household term. In the meantime, for many people, ChatGPT has pretty much become the generic go-to term for most large language model chatbots. How this will change in the future is something we can’t wait to witness.
From our perspective, no language will ever be ‘perfect.’ For one, it would be incredibly difficult to come up with a unified understanding of what a perfect language would even mean. On top of that, it’s all of those linguistic quirks that make learning and using languages so enjoyable.
#19
From a sign outside of a bar: Why is it called bisexual when ambisextrous is right there?
Display Name 1 year ago
I dunno but being bi myself, I can use either with the same results...
#20
Whoever coined the phrase Dad Bod really missed out on Father Figure.
SH Holmes 1 year ago
"You are rocking that father figure!" Yeah that sounds weird.
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#21
Shipments go by land, but cargo goes by sea. That s**t needs to be reversed.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
I guess shipment implies a certain specific destination, like an actual customer at an address and cargo is like a bunch of stuff with no specific buyer. Does that make sense?
Load More Replies... CK 1 year ago
This is not accurate. The word 'cargo' is used more for goods transported by ship or plane, while 'freight' is used more for goods transported by train or truck, but the definition isn't strictly confined to the mode of transportation. And 'shipment' is either the act of transporting things or a specific set of things being transported, e.g. 'a shipment of flour, ' when you wouldn't say 'a cargo of flour.'
Starwhisper Nighthush 1 year ago
I've heard the term cargo shipment being used a few times.
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Bill Swallow 1 year ago
Benny Hill had a joke about how strange it was that a Shipment went by Car, but a Cargo goes by Ship.
Donkey boi 1 year ago
Nope! Cargo is what's being moved. Shipment is the action of things being moved. It doesn't matter how it's transported, car, truck, plane, boat... you are 'shipping' it. But what you are shipping is 'Cargo'.
Jani Chayut 1 year ago
And why are they called buildings if they're already built? Why apartments when they're together? Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? Boy I miss George Carlin.
That being said, some aspects frustrate not only your ordinary folks but philology experts as well. Linguist and neuroscience expert Arika Okrentis notes on ‘Aeon’ that “English spelling is ridiculous.”
“Sew and new don’t rhyme. Kernel and colonel do. When you see an ough, you might need to read it out as ‘aw’ (thought), ‘ow’ (drought), ‘uff’ (tough), ‘off’ (cough), ‘oo’ (through), or ‘oh’ (though),” Okrentis points out.
“The ea vowel is usually pronounced ‘ee’ (weak, please, seal, beam) but can also be ‘eh’ (bread, head, wealth, feather). Those two options cover most of it – except for a handful of cases where it’s ‘ay’ (break, steak, great). Oh wait, one more… there’s earth. No wait, there’s also heart,” the expert quips.
#22
Weather forecast is boring. Weather prophecy is awesome.
Tim Douglass 1 year ago
How about "weather or not", because it's kinda rare they get it right.
Kali Chaos 1 year ago
The weather guy this morning literally said "It may or may not rain at some point today", so I mean I guess he covered his bases?
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JoNo 1 year ago
Prophecy makes it sound like the weather forecast is totally made up, when we hope that meteorological knowledge is used in the process. Fun fact: The Bureau of Meteorology is the official name of the Australian government department. It's referred to by everyone as BoM. A year or so ago the BoM issued a statement requesting the media and public no longer use the acronym the "BoM", instead asking that outlets change their style guides to "support" the bureau by "referencing them by their full name". Less than a week later another statement was released, retracting the request, saying it could be referenced however media and the public prefer. I'd say that was rather BoM-bastic of them!
Jeremy James 1 year ago
Whenever I hear someone complain about the forecast being wrong, it reminds me that, not too long ago, if you could accurately predict the weather, you would have been burned at the stake.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
What about "Weather foreshadowing"? The weather in the city is determined by the preparedness of the population. Sunscreen sales are down so a week of sunny days.
Keisha 1 year ago
Where im from(South Louisiana) I almost feel like you can go to a psychic and get just as accurate of an outcome. The weather changes by the tick of the clock but for the most part it's hot and humid. But you can go out in the AM and it's 45° and by lunchtime it's 85° and you feel like you are melting.
Devon Archer 1 year ago
Should be a wizard reading from a scroll with as accurate as they actually are.
#23
A group of raccoons is called a "gaze" when the word "heist" is right there.
CaptainDinosaur 1 year ago
Guys. That's me. That's my reddit post. Seriously! I made the Panda!
Bookworm 1 year ago
I have no evidence, but I have a suspicion this one actually was the Victorians.
Marcellus II 1 year ago
You'd be wrong tho. Raccoons are american and that's where the [apt] name "gaze" was coined; the way they stare when disturbed --- mostly to do with their near-sightedness.
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#24
Narwhals should be renamed tunacorns.
Puppy Dancing! 1 year ago
Tuna is a fish. Narwhals are related to Belugas, they are a type of greater dolphins, like an Orca.
The Phantom Stranger 1 year ago
I've heard them identified as underwater fast-attack unicorns. And rhinos are heavy-armor combat unicorns.
While millions upon millions of people around the globe have learned these linguistic quirks by heart, for non-native speakers, the process can be very frustrating. However, streamlining a language (if even possible) might remove many of the reasons why we fell in love with it in the first place.
Which of the linguistic changes featured in this post would you immediately embrace, dear Pandas? What things would you rename if you could? We’d really like to hear your thoughts on this, so if you have a moment, scroll down to the comments. (Meanwhile, we still think a group of squid should be called a ‘squad’…)
#25
Cornhole needs to be changed back to Bean Bag Toss.
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
I never heard the name "Cornhole" until prison. Someone in prison is NOT going to sign up for Cornhole leagues without at least some clarification.
Brian Droste 1 year ago
When I was growing up in Michigan we called it bean bag toss. I belive it was called that's cause they were filled with some kind of beans. It wasn't untilI I moved to Indiana that I heard it was called corn hole.
Annabeth Chase (she/her) 1 year ago
It was always bean bag toss until I moved to Nebraska where the bags were filled with corn instead of beans
Bookworm 1 year ago
The story is that the original game was played with bags of corn
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Shawn Barry 1 year ago
I find it hard to believe that the person who renamed the game was that naieve
#26
A red onion is quite clearly a purple onion.
CK 1 year ago
Anthocynin in red onions changes color based on the PH. So some red onions appear red, while others are very purple.
Out of chocolate 1 year ago
Those damned double bonds, so shifty when it comes to pH.
Load More Replies... Amanda Rose 1 year ago
Red onion skins, when used as a natural plant based fabric dye, do dye fabrics red. Red-Onion-...2d46f7.jpg 
Heather Menard 1 year ago
I hate red onions and everyone uses them. What ever happened to using vadalias
#28
Hand sanitizer should just be hanitizer. All toddlers say it that way and it’s easier.
Aqsa Azam 1 year ago
I had a linguistics course last semester and we talked about this phenomena where two words are combined and one syllable in between is left out. That's how "iced cream" became "ice cream"
Regina Holt 1 year ago
iced cream to ice cream is just taking out one letter, not a syllable
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My O My 1 year ago
Come to germany my friend....we can do the craziest things with words... Thehehe I clearly see a Handdesinfektionsmittelspender here
sturmwesen 1 year ago
former Handdesinfektionsmittelspenderbeauftragte here
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I_imagine_even_worse_w***s 1 year ago
Haha yes I know kids now who still call it that after learning only to say hanitizer during the pandemic!!
#29
My stepdad randomly called the fridge/freezers the oracles of food and it stuck. “Let me ask the oracles of food” sounds way more bad*ss than “let me check what we have in the freezer”.
#30
“Lisp” should be renamed to anything without an S in it.
Raw pelican 1 year ago
Already say it that way even though I don’t have a lisp
Load More Replies... Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
I feel thith. My lithp wath worth than Thindy Brady'th.
Vampiresscrow 1 year ago
One of the most cruel words in the English language. People with one, can't pronounce it properly. Utterly mean. Lol
~nope~ 1 year ago
Kind of the like fear of long words being a long word itself
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Vampiresscrow 1 year ago
P.s. Just like the word 'Rhotacism'. Having problems with pronouncing 'r'. English is a cruel language.
#31
Astronomers should be called skyintists.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
Then what would we call Meteorologists? Why do we call them that anyway, they never study meteors.
Jeremy James 1 year ago
Now you've got me checking meteorology etymology.
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#32
I am giving a serious response. 1. Borderline Personality Disorder is not being on the line between two different things. It is having difficulty regulating emotions. 2. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is not a lack of attention or an overabundance of activity. It is the brain moving too quickly and the body can't keep up. It is needing to structure things differently to be functional. It is being able to see things that others can't. 3. Sexual Desire/Interest/Arousal Disorder is not a disorder at all. It is a different sexual orientation: asexuality.
Ari Maranichi 1 year ago
can confirm that the thing about ADHD is true, but I will say as well that you still get distracted easily, but you can also hyper-focus on the randomest things.
Shelley Dawson 1 year ago
Thank you for that brilliant description of ADHD. I was diagnosed last year at 70. I try to tell people that a) I'm not stupid and b) I don't have alzheimers. Thank you so much.
Sarcastic and Proud 1 year ago
I think they need to change the pronunciation of Aspergers. It's hard enough living with it without the butt burger jokes!
Kare Deter 1 year ago
Asperger's doesn't exist anymore. We're all just "on the spectrum" now.
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Bamboozled 1 year ago
I think, in some places, Borderline personality disorder has been changed to EUPD emotionally unstable personality disorder
Jeevesssssss 1 year ago
Not changed. The International Classification of Diseases, which is used as the source of the main diagnostic criteria instead of the DSM across Europe, has always called it that.
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Blue Bunny of Happiness 1 year ago
Borderline personality disorder usually just means the person has had an extreme amount of trauma/abuse to live through.
Flora Porter 1 year ago
Originally meant it had elements of both neurotic (mood) and psychotic (mind) disorders, so on a.putative border between tbem. I think the PD part still needs changing as for many people it must feel crushingly judgemental to be told you have one.
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Annabeth Chase (she/her) 1 year ago
I don't have a deficit of attention. I actually have plenty of attention, I just have trouble directing it
Kat 1 year ago
I disagree on that last one. Not everyone who experiences a lack of interest in sex is asexual. Sometimes that can be due to reasons completely unrelated to their sexuality. It may not be a permanent state of being, they might be experiencing other issues that's affecting their sex drive atm.
#33
Mini corn dogs should be called corn puppies!!!
Amanda Rose 1 year ago
This reminds me of the fact that my dad has a dog who adores children and my dad keeps telling him that they are people puppies.
#34
My daughter said podcasts should be called Ear TV, which I wholehearted agree with esp as the name podcasts is basically anachronistic now with the demise of iPods She also said bras should be called b**bytraps - she should probably go into advertising.
Surenu 1 year ago
BRA could also be an acronym for Booby Retention Apparatus
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Settled for Infamy 1 year ago
Kmart Australia used to stock a bra brand by the name of "Hestia" I found out later in life it is an acronym for, Holds Every Sized Tít In Australia.
Ellie Ahmed 1 year ago
When my brother was very little, I remember him seeing a woman in her bra on TV one day and saying to me "she's wearing a booby basket!"
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
I call apple watches iwatches because f**k you if you name ALL your products i-something, you have to name your watches iwatches. So there.
Shaunn Munn 1 year ago
If I could lay laurels at your daughter's feet for her talents, I would heap them! Brilliant!
#35
The Great Molasses Flood/Boston Molasses Disaster should have been called The Boston Molassecre.
Jeremy James 1 year ago
It's been more than 100 years past. I think I can have a little chuckle. Tragedy, though.
#36
Almond Milk. Should be called "Nut Juice"!
Two_rolling_black_eyes 1 year ago
They legally were until Feb 2023. The FDA officially issued a statement effectively saying "we give up and its not worth the effort anymore. Its not milk but its too hard to stop people from calling it that."
CK 1 year ago
The dairy farmers really want exclusive right to call their products milk, but plant milks have always been called milk, and people have never been confused, as much as they might joke about how hard it is to find the teat on an almond.
Load More Replies... Shelli Aderman 1 year ago
I am a 53 year old woman, who sees this and my inner 12 year old boy is all, 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
When margarine was first used, at least in America, the farm lobbies got it so that margarine could not be yellow. It usually came in pink.
PFD 1 year ago
Thanks! I'd never heard of this and thought it *must* be a myth, and not only is it true, it's a brilliant story. There are some hilarious details in this article: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/article/the-butter-wars-when-margarine-was-pink
Load More Replies... Shaunn Munn 1 year ago
"Almond milk", as a term, was used in medieval English recipes. Probably had similar names in other cultures. I'm betting ancient people may have termed it "almond milk" in their glots.
Knitting Panda 1 year ago
People in Wisconsin, America's Dairy Land get all hot under the collar about this issue. My brother claims it is confusing to call non dairy items milk. I tell him it is insulting to think we don't know the difference. I told him I prefer the taste of oat milk in my coffee. He said, "That's disgusting." But he won't try it. Silly cheesehead.
#37
[Breasts] sweat —> humidititties.
Surenu 1 year ago
Men have something similar, we say "It's this cold" and make a hand gesture implying a short length.
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#38
A driveway should be a parkway and a parkway should be a driveway.
Simon T 1 year ago
They were named to confuse people who might try to invade
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Maria Colatarci 1 year ago
Well you never have experienced the Garden State Parkway on a Sunday afternoon.
John Barker 1 year ago
They are named by the vikings, and Iceland was covered in ice and Greenland was in fact green. Hence the names, it supported farms for hundreds of years until it iced over
#39
Not original but I love the idea of butt dials being booty calls.
CK 1 year ago
I've heard this has been a serious area of confusion for non native English speakers.
XanthippeⓐWulf🇨🇦️️🇬🇧 1 year ago
This! No disrespect to anyone but for this exact reason, "booty call" is a running joke in our family. My grandmother is not a native English speaker and hearing your Mémé say she got a "booty call" instead of a butt dial...15 years later and my brother & I still giggle like hyenas! 🤭
Load More Replies... Donald Crocker, Jr. 1 year ago
There should be an option to remove the one button 911 thing from screens.
#40
Veterinarian. Should be a dogtor.
CK 1 year ago
But only veterinarians who treat dogs. It would be weird to take a bird to a "dogtor" who specializes in avians.
Jeremy James 1 year ago (edited)
I'm trying to come up with some other puns. I've got, "Meow-dical Specialist," "E.M. Treats," and, "Hospi-tail." EDIT: "CRNPrrrrr," and, "We're still waiting on your Labs to get back."
Learner Panda 1 year ago
There should be some differentiation between vets (veterans) and vets (veterinarians).
Marcellus II 1 year ago
Blame the Romans for this one... the first from 'vetus, veteris' old, the second from the word for cattle. You'd think 2000years were enough to come up with a more separate term but no.
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Ozymandias73 1 year ago
Meh, have to pass on this one as most vets work on ALL types of animals.
#41
Blowjob doesn't involve blowing and for most people it's not their job.
Jeremy James 1 year ago
It's a heck of a lot easier, more pleasant, and more lucrative than my current job but, unfortunately, I have my pride.
pineapple87 1 year ago
If you don't think it requires work, you've obviously never given one...
der sebbl 1 year ago
That's not what they said. They said for most people it's not their job
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#42
Airports should be called plane stations.
Marcellus II 1 year ago
No. The whole terminology is naval: e.g., both are commanded by a Captain; consequently airports in all languages are air-port or air-harbor. The big difference is that a ship and a plane can go anywhere in the world, and historically both required the same navigation and weather forecasting skills; a train is super fixed in trajectory & disregards weather.
Restless panda 🇫🇮 1 year ago
Flight field in Finnish, field in the same sense as soccer field or maybe riding arena?
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meeeeeeeeeeee 1 year ago
That's what I call them as I can rarely remember the word airport when it's not written infront of me
#43
Uterus Didelphys (double uterus) should be called a “twoterus”.
Jeremy James 1 year ago
I live in Alabama. We just had a woman with that condition deliver rare twin births from two different uteri, two days apart.
#44
American "football" Should be something more like Armor Rugby , etc.
Sandy D 1 year ago
Armor rugby machines more sense. Feet are only a main feature of a few specific situations. Soccer should definitely be football, even here in the US
Mikkel Sørensen 1 year ago
Soccer IS football in all of the civilized World.
Load More Replies... CK 1 year ago
It should have been "rugger." The reason Americans call the other football "soccer" is because at one point, there was "association football" or "soccer" and "rugby football" or "rugger" (which is a different sport, but what's now American football was considered a type of it). Only one got to be called just "football."
Stealthzilla 1 year ago
Yeah, all my friends who play “football” here in America agree it should be called tackleball or something and soccer should be changed back to football
#45
Olives should be Greece’s Pieces.
#46
The "snooze" button should be renamed the "five more minutes of denial" button.
New Everywhere 1 year ago
The Is it worth getting fired button. The I make bad choices button. The Curse you BP but only in the morning button.
Joanne Earle 1 year ago
Does anyone actually fall back to sleep that fast b/f it goes off again?
#47
Faux pa > step-dad.
Mitchell 1 year ago
I think it’s Dutch? Correct me if I’m wrong, might be Danish. Stepdads are called bonus fathers.
Jayjay 1 year ago
It's French, but used in Dutch as an expression. It would be "foute stap" in dutch. A stepdad would translate to "Stiefvader" in dutch. So the joke doesn't work in dutch :).
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#48
Scarecrows are no crows. They should be called crowscares.
#49
I still don't get how "inflammable" means "flammable.".
Christian Golden 1 year ago
Inflammable was first. from "inflame." But people are dumb and thought it meant in-...as in insane, inactive or "incapable of burning." So we now have flammable and non-flammable.
Rinso The Red 1 year ago
And apparently, "irregardless" is a real word now so I'm just going to give up tbh
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nottheactualphoto 1 year ago
But irregardless is not a proper word. Nevertheless, you don't deserve the downvote. Fixed.
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Justin Rogers 1 year ago
They do actually mean different things: flammable means 'burns well' and inflammable means 'catches fire easily/explosively.' So wood is flammable but not inflammable, no one puts warning placards on log trucks. And the warning about gas and chemicals isn't that there could be a fire, it's that if there is a fire it will happen all at once and create a crater.
#50
Fire truck. Should be Water truck.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
If firefighters fight fires and crimefighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
A bit like pro/con. If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress?
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#51
Killer whales should have been named Sea pandas.
Pedantic Panda 1 year ago
I think that is what they were originally called.
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Heather Vandegrift 1 year ago
More like sea wolves. They are incredibly smart, hunt in packs, and are the most terrifying cetacean on earth!
#52
Lasagna, I prefer Pasta Cake.
#53
Uranus. Yeah it sounds like what it sounds like; but it’s also the only planet not named after a Roman god (in fact it’s not named after a god at all, it’s named after a Titan). It’s named after the Greek deity of the sky, and the father of the first generation of Titans. It would almost be one thing if it was the last planet or something, but nope. Then we have Neptune, which is named after the Roman god of the sea. This leaves Uranus as the etymological sore-thumb of the Solar System. The better name would be Caelus, because that’s the Roman equivalent, and it doesn’t sound like an inappropriate body part.
Kevin the Manager 1 year ago
I heard an astronomy prof pronounce it "Yer-in-us" as opposed to "Yer-a**s." Seemed to work out well.
Ronstantin 1 year ago
I think this is closer to the Greek origin (and this pun only works with the Englisch pronunciation anyway).
Load More Replies... Bewitched One 1 year ago
It's also not supposed to be pronounced like "ur" "a**s" and is supposed to be pronounced ur-uh-nus
TheElementalGod️️ (He/him) 1 year ago
Yes it is. The scientific name of earth is Terra, who is the roman version of Gaia.
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#54
Fencing (the sport). “Swashbuckling” has been just *right* there for lo, all these centuries.
Alex Boyd 1 year ago
fun fact: Swashbuckling originally meant letting your small shield (buckler) swing around (swash) as you walk, which was a thing young men did in Tudor times that they thought looked cool. Basically old-timey Tacticool.
Load More Replies... censorshipsucks 1 year ago
no no no no no. Fencing: you use toothpicks aka rapiers / epées. Swashbuckling = using a f*****g cutlass. Get it right. Only pirates buckle their swash.
#55
Gonorrhea should be an anti-diarrhea medication.
Sonja 1 year ago
There’s an “an” in there. I missed it the first time around, too.
Load More Replies... Shark Lady 1 year ago
Think of it as gone diarrhoea so a medication like loperimide rather than the name for an STD.
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Feathered Dinosaur 1 year ago
What now? Is that a common side effect? Sorry, I've never had the pleasure to take one
#56
Forks should be called Stabby Grabbies.
#57
Headphones should be headspeakers.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
Head speakers are a thing though. I wear them when I'm riding my bike so I can listen to music but I can still hear traffic around me so I don't go splat.
Donkey boi 1 year ago
The suffix 'phone' means sound. Therefore... The are called 'head-sounds'
#58
Mitch Hedberg nailed it. It's not a cheese grater, it's a sponge ruiner.
Erin Geiger 1 year ago
Is a hippopotamus really a hippopotamus, or just an extra cool opotamus?
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#59
Air Oven > Air Fryer. It’s a small oven. It doesn’t just fry. .
Rinso The Red 1 year ago
Let's all be honest, it's a toaster oven with a fan. Let's not get unnecessarily fancy
#60
Trampoline should be called jumpoline.
#61
Beheading should be called deheading. Not sure how that one slipped.
Lotekguy 1 year ago
Never thought about it, but that sounds like you're using them to make patè. Daylighting might be more accurate.
Load More Replies... Tarik Dursun Zorgulen 1 year ago
It's really not that big of a deal, don't loose your head over it
#62
Answering Machines never really got a f*****g name. They were always just like, some left you a message on The Answering Machine. I always thought it should have been The TeleCorder.
EP 1 year ago (edited)
Sad tale: Person must waits 30 years to be able to finally share product naming idea, yet physical product is obsolete.
keyboardtek 1 year ago
I still have a land line and an answering machine. I love not having a smartphone. I love not having to be reachable every second of the day. "People laugh at me because I am different. I laugh at them because they are all the same."
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Heather Vandegrift 1 year ago
My dad named ours NERD: the Necessary Efficient Recording Device
#63
Iceland and Greenland.
Matthew Currie 1 year ago
According to my long ago sixth grade teacher that was on purpose. The story was that Erik the Red was something of a wheeler dealer, and wanting to discourage settlement in Iceland, which was pretty nice, and to encourage settlement in Greenland, which wasn't, he fudged the names. There may be a little truth in this, but it's mostly that Greenland used to be greener than it is now. And Iceland is pretty icy, too. At least until the glaciers finish melting.
Marley Nachi 1 year ago
lol. Iceland was named to be unappealing so it didn't become over populated from people moving from Norway... Then Greenland was named so that one guy banished there could convince others to come
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
yeah so we should go for endonyms: ísland and Kalaallit Nunaat, respectively.
#64
Toothbrush should really be called a teeth brush.
Kristie French 1 year ago
Ew, no! I just cringed so hard I threw my neck out. lol.
Load More Replies... Adrian 1 year ago
Not the same. One's hair can refer to all of the hair. Tooth refers to single tooth. So I agree with teeth brush.
Load More Replies... nottheactualphoto 1 year ago
It's called a toothbrush because it was invented in [ place where most people have only one tooth ]. Build your own locality-disparaging joke.
#65
Glove compartment. It should be extra fast food napkin compartment.
M O'Connell 1 year ago
I have gloves, forks (in case cake happens), napkins, the tool to remove the roof rack bars, that 1970's perspective map of the Chicago area that everyone had, pens & pencils....
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Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
But it was originally used for gloves when all cars were open top.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
in recent british empire countries we call it a cubbyhole, meaning cupboard hole.
Marcellium 1 year ago
Took me forever when I was younger to learn what a Glove Compartment was. Where I grew up, we called it a Jockey Box
#66
Abbreviation should be a much shorter word.
ButtMassager:
Abbreve works. Breve's even better.
Becca not Becky 1 year ago
It's also Spanish for brief (as in duration of time).
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meeeeeeeeeeee 1 year ago
How about a little bre and u just puff it out like pronoucing the sound of a letter
#67
Unicorn 🦄 cuz apparently unihorn makes too much sense.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
Latin-based words that are cognate with english words have a C where english native words have an H. Example: cardiac: heart. Cornucopia: horn with a heap. Unicorn: one horn. Similarly h -> G in vice versa. Garden/Horticulture (hortus). Etc.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
Pretty sure corn means point. Like a Tricorne hat has three points.
J C 1 year ago
I love Rhinos, they aren't ugly. I think they are pretty awesome! I wonder if people would kill actual unicorns for their horns and what kind of magical curse would happen to them if they did. I wish that happened with Rhinos.
Load More Replies... #68
A stroke should be called a Brain Attack.
JB 1 year ago (edited)
I prefer the totally clinically correct "cerebrovascular accident". Just has a nice rhythm/cadence
Jeremy James 1 year ago
"Cerebrovascular" is a very tasty word. "Accident" makes it sound like I should have been paying more attention. It's kind of judgy.
Load More Replies... #69
As a clarinetist, I hate that the fingering chart (little chart that tells you which fingers to use to play certain notes) is called a fingering chart. It’s suggestive to those with dirty minds. I’m not sure what a better name would be, but someone’s got to have one right?
Geminii27:
Pressure Points
Clari-fier
Clari-key
Fairly-on-note
CK 1 year ago
Fingering is called fingering on every instrument. It's worse on guitar, which is most commonly strung EADGBE and used to play chords major and minor.
DC 1 year ago
Fingering a minor with a G-string on, without getting in trouble. Only possible with a guitar.
Load More Replies... Display Name 1 year ago
if my girlfriend gave me a fingering chart I'm pretty sure I'd be picking her up off the floor
#70
For all intents and purposes Starlink really should have been called Skynet if it wasn’t already taken.
#71
Starfish and jellyfish, neither are fish.
Heath Keefer 1 year ago
I've been told by staff of the Shedd Aquarium they are now called sea stars.
LonelyLittleLeafSheep 1 year ago
Yep, common among biologists now. And we also usually say "jellies" instead of "jellyfish". Or "squishies" like Dory.
Load More Replies... censorshipsucks 1 year ago
well star-echinoderm isn't quite as easy to say. nor is jelly-Medusozoa
#72
Near misses in aviation. Did you nearly miss? Then it’s a crash. Really should be a near hit or something.
Spannermonkey 1 year ago
OHS professionals in Australia have referred to almost-accidents as "near hits" for years. It's exactly the sort of thing their profession does: Make a pointless, token change that does nothing to improve the situation.
#73
Laundry detergent should be called laundry sauce.
#74
Pointed feet. At least in Dutch, they’re called “spitz-voeten”, with spitzen being the pointes ballerina’s wear. My daughter looked at my feet and said “you have Barbie feet”, that’s what I call them now. It also reflects a lot better what my ability to walk is.
cerinamroth 1 year ago
My comment disappeared! It’s a Google Translate fail and should read equinus foot, a condition where you can’t lower your heel, so your foot looks like Barbie’s.
Load More Replies... #75
Queue should be que. like why the extra ue? Its dumb.
Jeremy James 1 year ago
The extra vowels give you something to chew on silently while you're waiting in line.
DRMAGDN 1 year ago
Throw a silent P in there too for good measure b/c English
Load More Replies... #76
Traction should be called gription.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
tract- means the same as drag- in english. Tractor: thing that drags stuff.
Kevin the Manager 1 year ago
So a drag queen dressed as a dragon would have a TON of sh*t to haul around, huh?
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Bill Walker 1 year ago
My wife tells me her tires have lost their gription and it is now time to replace them.
#77
Bullfrogs - I'd call 'em chuzwuzzers.
#78
Broom, it should clearly be called a sweep/sweeper.
Jill Rhodry 1 year ago
when I was a kid we had a carpet sweeper and a vacuum cleaner - two different contraptions.
Load More Replies... #79
Rhode island isn't an island.
Bookworm 1 year ago
Apparently the original colony of Rhode Island was, in fact, on an island that's now officially called Aquidneck Island (which is a mangled Native American word.)
Kevin the Manager 1 year ago
A squad of squid swam past a quad of Aquidneck...
Load More Replies... Tim Douglass 1 year ago
Up until just a couple years ago I believe. (yep. Just checked and it was 2020)
Load More Replies... #80
Garage, it’s obviously a car hold!
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
It's from french garage, ultimately from gare, a place to stop (particularlly train stop)
#81
Mailman should obviously have been mailmale.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
in our country we call them extinct. I havent seen a postie for about 20 years.
#82
Birth Control should be called Pregnancy Preventer.
TotallyNOTAFox 1 year ago
Antibabypills - actual name for them here in Germany
Load More Replies... #83
Cookies, it should be bakes.
#84
Why is it called chilly when it’s warm?
chris oz 1 year ago
There were no people called Aztecs. They called themselves Mexica. Aztec came about because Ivy league school professors weren't smart enough to differentiate them from modern day Mexicans, so they gave them a new name based on where the Mexica people said there ancestors came from.
Load More Replies... censorshipsucks 1 year ago
Answer: first word (chili, the plant that burns your mouth) is from Nahuatl language. Chilly the adjective is from old english ceallig, the adjective form of the noun ceald (cold).
Bewitched One 1 year ago
But they're talking about the the hot soup/stew like Chili
Load More Replies... #85
Buildings. Should be builtings.
Jeremy James 1 year ago (edited)
I remember hearing about languages that use active verbs or states of being in place of nouns. A building is "building," a being is "being," rain is "raining," dog is "dogging," and so forth. Alan Watts pointed out that the sentence structure that goes, "Subject -> Verb -> Predicate," contains within it the hidden belief that actions are caused by nouns. It's strange to think about how the structures of our languages influence the ways in which we can think.
Donkey boi 1 year ago
Erm... 'Dogging' is something completely different... and has nothing to do with dogs...
Load More Replies... What do you think ?
CaptainDinosaur 1 year ago
Ya'll, my reddit comment about raccoons made the list. I feel an unearned sense of accomplishment.
Auntriarch 1 year ago
All hail Captain Dinosaur, Emperor of Reddit and Panda!
Load More Replies... Etakrolyat 1 year ago
When my son was 9 he asked why escalators that go down are not called decendaltors!
Tracy Wallick 1 year ago
A Canadian dollar is called a Loonie. Two Canadian dollars is called a Toonie, when 'Doubloon' (Double Loon) was RIGHT THERE--
CaptainDinosaur 1 year ago
Ya'll, my reddit comment about raccoons made the list. I feel an unearned sense of accomplishment.
Auntriarch 1 year ago
All hail Captain Dinosaur, Emperor of Reddit and Panda!
Load More Replies... Etakrolyat 1 year ago
When my son was 9 he asked why escalators that go down are not called decendaltors!
Tracy Wallick 1 year ago
A Canadian dollar is called a Loonie. Two Canadian dollars is called a Toonie, when 'Doubloon' (Double Loon) was RIGHT THERE--
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