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A good cook knows that recipes can be often treated as guidelines. However, many a bad cook has a similar line of thinking, just with a vastly different outcome. Now, knowing you are a bad cook is one thing, but a poor craftsperson will blame their tools, up to and including recipes.
The “I Didn't Have Eggs” online community gathers the bewildering and somewhat infuriating online recipe reviews of people who for some ungodly reason decided to make terrible ingredient substitutions, then went online to rant about the recipe. So get comfortable, upvote the best (or worst) posts, and comment your thoughts below.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
This Guy Gets It
Tee Rat 2 years ago
People who feel the need to review things they didn't try or buy is crazy. "I didn't see this film, but I was in the theatre next door and chipped my tooth on a popcorn seed, 1 star."
Spikey Bunny 2 years ago
Same for online shopping "It arrived! I can't wait to bla bla bla..." 5 stars
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Jojo Armani 2 years ago
Yes. I’m tired of seeing recipe reviews with ratings like “Oooh! Looks great. Can’t wait to try”
Appalachian Panda 2 years ago
That doesn't bother me. What bothers me is "I can't stand the texture of artichokes. One star."
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Kaiti Yoder 2 years ago
Yes, but the point is it still helps fix the average.
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#2
Cindy Is Tired Of Your Questions
Wren Hard 2 years ago
Ehh. I have celiac and this is one of the least upsetting memes of I have seen. They asked a silly question and got a silly answer.
Load More Replies... #3
"4 Cups Of Apple Cider Vinegar To 2 Bottles Of Wine Was Absurd." Yes It Was
Iridian 2 years ago
Sounds like someone had maybe already been hitting the cider before looking into this recipe.
Jeremy James 2 years ago
I love Erin's parentheses, "the juice, drinking kind," because it's like she knows she's being just shy of condescending. "Now, hold the cup up to your mouth, which is the big hole in the front of your head..."
Sheila Carty 2 years ago
I was reading comments on a recipe where someone used apple cider vinegar for a pork & apple cider stew. Reading is fundamental!
Alecto76 2 years ago
When I moved into my husband's place a few years ago, I put my baking supplies in cute containers that I of course forgot to label. A year later, I followed some recipe for something like this, which called for a cup of sugar. It was not good but familiar, I couldn't quite place it. My husband tried some and identified the issue - I used a cup of salt instead. Never claimed to be good at domestic tasks.
Kaiti Yoder 2 years ago
Things like this are the exact reason that my husband always just happens to need things out of the kitchen when I'm attempting to make new things 🤣
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Begone Fool 2 years ago
Bahahaha! I can laugh cause this is exactly the kind of thing I would do. 🙄😢
While many of these are humorous, except perhaps for the poster of the recipe, the amount of culinary ignorance on display can be a bit frightening if you have a dietary restriction for whatever reason. Some people just do not know that surprise, surprise, eggs are not vegan and will happily serve baked goods to vegans who would be none the wiser. This is, perhaps, why some people will simply refuse to eat anything they have not cooked themselves.
The same is just as true for religious dietary restrictions. While, for example, the prohibition on pork, found in Judaism and Islam is pretty well known, some might not understand the variety of products that come from a pig that isn’t just meat. Gelatin, for example, which incidentally is often also not vegan, to the despair of a vegan trying to make smores for the first time.
#4
Substitution Poetry!
ThatG 2 years ago
“Didn’t have lettuce, so threw in some rocks instead. Terrible, chipped a tooth. 1⭐️”
WindySwede 2 years ago
"Took the whole mountain, don't belive in waste" 🗻😅
Load More Replies... Jeremy James 2 years ago
"Because I could not stop for rice, he kindly shopped for me. The carriage held but just one spice and immortality." --Emily Dickinson, I think
GoblinKing 2 years ago
No, not everyone is ignoring that its a poem at all. The title of the post even draws attention to the fact that its a poem. Sorry for bursting your bubble about thinking you're the only person who noticed.
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Jill Rhodry 2 years ago
Yeah, taking a jab at the reviewers that change the recipe beyond recognition then leave a one star review.
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Sharkie 2 years ago
This sounds like reaction on my grandma cooking... She loved taking recipes from people or TV and than this substitute madness. And than she was upset nobody wanted it... But till this day she complains about other people cooking, she does not like any real or presumed mistake.
gilliansl aka Gillian Silverlight 2 years ago
"We didn't have any spare kidneys available, so we used a spleen instead. The fact that your body no longer makes urine means you are a horrible patient."
#5
The Best Review Yet
Sonja 2 years ago
People with main character syndrome who feel attacked by anything that's not explicitly for them
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CrunChewy McSandybutt 2 years ago
I see this sort of thing all the time, even here on BP. Some people have the idea that everything should cater to them and only to them. Other people do not exist. Nobody's life is different from their own.
Iridian 2 years ago
But I do like how many people found the retort helpful.
Load More Replies... EarthGrowl 2 years ago
Didn't like bacon and ranch?! Then you certainly aren't American! In Europe, ranch is American flavor! And I am proud of that!
sara fulmer 2 years ago (edited)
I worked for an online company (not recipes but kinda big on ebay level) that had an entire staff dedicated to convincing people into deleting/improving their ratings. It's amazing what 1☆ can do!
sara fulmer 2 years ago
I started to wonder if "mafia tactics" might have been more effective. (They worked in our Miami division 🤫)
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Lester the Space Duck 2 years ago
"oh, look at that sumptuous looking burger, but I don't eat meat, so I'll rate it badly" SMH 🙄
#6
I Wish You Would Shut Up
Aisling Raye 2 years ago
But Courtney NEEDS to tell us about how she was sipping her sweet tea and watching the sunrise from her front porch when a hummingbird told her that today was a good day to make blueberry muffins for her grandchildren.
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HungryPanda 2 years ago
It's mind-boggling how much someone can write about something no one even asked about. Just show me the damn recipe and put the rest in your journal.
MR 2 years ago
Meh. Many of those links are either slow to load, hard to spot initially, or don't work properly. And way too many people share information that I can't anyone looking for a recipe giving a rat's *** about. You want to share? Do it after the recipe. Since most people click on your link for the recipe, save us the time.
Claire Bee 2 years ago
Fun fact, if you don't write a bunch of stuff before the recipe, you can't copyright it. Writing a bunch of stuff beforehand makes it proprietary.
While it might seem strange to deviate from a recipe if you are going through the trouble of finding one in the first place, it’s important to remember that in the age of the internet, the recipe might be from an entirely different continent. US recipes will often mention certain name-brand products that one can’t find elsewhere. All cuisine is based on the best utilization of the products that are actually on hand, so any good cook will make substitutions regularly.
#7
No Mention Of Corn In A Mexican Crema Recipe
The Dark Sun 2 years ago (edited)
Maybe they thougt: It is Mexican, therefor it HAS to have corn. Or Beans. ;)
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WindySwede 2 years ago
I was gonna make pancakes, but this recipie calls for toothpaste... "sir/mam, this is poster at the dentist office..."
Stannous Flouride 2 years ago
I think the foolish reviewer may have grown up hearing "crema" used to refer to creamed corn and not known it was just an ingredient cacique_cr...c62d03.png 
Johanna MH 2 years ago
Lots of ADHD People reading a recipe 1/2 through and then close the book and hope they remember!
Heather Wolmarans 2 years ago
People who can't read should not be allowed near knives or stoves.
Hodge Elmwood 1 year ago
This one is so confusing to me. Why did they assume corn should be in this recipe??
#8
Reading This One Activated My Flight Or Fight Response
The Shadow of Darbows 2 years ago
So many of these people have 2 brain cells fighting for their lives
C Hendrix 2 years ago
Or, as I recently read, two brain cells fighting for third place.
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Appalachian Panda 2 years ago
I ran out of kale for my salad so I used ground beef. Tasted terrible. Zero stars.
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RuffianLivesOn 2 years ago
They have too much sugar for, say, a rabbit but it's fine for us. Why are people like this.
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LauraDragonWench 2 years ago
This poster apparently wasted her vowel allowance on "waaaaaay" and didn't have enough left over for "too." Both of them. Budget your vowels, people! (And yes I'm focusing on spelling bc if I focus on the actual content, I'm afraid it'll suck my brain cells down to her level. My cells are few enough, tyvm! 😂)
Dana Trahan 2 years ago
I agree shadow and I believe their 2 brain cells are fighting each other. These people need to NEVER be allowed in a kitchen again
Tina Kathrarg 2 years ago
But unfortunately they can vote, get a driver's license & reproduce! 🤔
Load More Replies... #9
Big Brain Baking
Spocks's Mom 2 years ago
Absolutely! Caffeine evaporates a bit as well (pretty sure thinking back to my barista days) and probably wouldn't have effected the children much at all regardless. Hopefully she had a good time choking down that dry cake. 😉
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Mabelbabel 2 years ago
For cooking casseroles and soups you can experiment with volumes, but baking is a science rather than an art. You have to have the right ratios of fat to flour to liquids and can't just substitute in anything you fancy or leave out anything you don't. These people are idiots.
gilliansl aka Gillian Silverlight 2 years ago
"Because kids were eating it"? Are you ignorant (oops, dumb question, because of course you are). Are you aware that Tea, chocolate, dark colored soft-drinks (coke, Pepsi, Dr. pepper, jolt, and even chocolate ice cream ***ALL*** have caffeine in them? ALL of them. (and more I couldn't think of because it's midnight, I'm tired, and you're insane) not a single mentioned item will be on an allowed cardiac diet. You did NOTHING "exactly", except waste food.
EarthGrowl 2 years ago
I suck at cooking and even I know you can't leave out a liquid. WTF! I would rather disassemble an engine with borrowed tools than cook. Cooking good food is an art-form and I applaud everyone who has taken the time to work Miracles with Fire!
This is just as true if one has a dietary restriction. Vegans, for example, are no doubt used to regularly modifying recipes and often enjoy good food just as much as everyone else. And as “modern” as some might think it is, there have been vegan substitutions for some items for not just decades, but over a thousand years. For example, “mock duck,” an alternative to duck meat, has existed in China since the 7th century.
#10
I Haven't Made It Yet 🙄
Iridian 2 years ago (edited)
Wayne hasn't made it yet in the world but gives himself three gold stars for being present. But to be fair, the world is hard, so why shouldn't he?
Living Example 2 years ago
It's like Amazon reviews that say they haven't used the product yet in a review. Also people answering a question about a product by saying "I don't know".
Anyone-for-tea? 2 years ago
Yes! Why do they do this, or “I bought it as a present so it’s unopened but it looks okay” .
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Sina Tallio 2 years ago
Maybe he's rating the page & presentation overall, not just the recipe itself 🤗
Kay Christensen 2 years ago
Wayne suited up and showed up. Should've given himself more stars. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Hiram's Friend 2 years ago
You get this in the Amazon questions sections all the time. Someone asks a question and someone else replies, "I don't know, I haven't tried it."
Janet Howe 2 years ago
"I'm just assuming at this point. The recipe looked rather nice. That's why I gave it 3 stars."
#11
Recipe For A London Broil Marinade. There Indeed Is No Pepsi Or Coke
Milady Blue 2 years ago
But... but... but... they are all brown, right? Isn't that what counts?
Chewie Baron 2 years ago
Didn’t have any black liquid at all, so I went to Saudi Arabia, dug my own well and used oil. Tastes disgusting but I’m now rich!
Kids Redig 2 years ago
Why, oh, why are some of these people so stupid, in that they substitute ingredients or add extra then blame the recipe 😕
Iridian 2 years ago
I love my fave London Broil marinade so I can't even joke about this one. Pepsi on steak? Now, I'M devastated. :|
#12
Oh Kimica 🤦learn To Understand Directions Please
Living Example 2 years ago
If cooked rice makes your dish watery, try draining the rice first?
TiNaBoNiNa 2 years ago
The recipe called for uncooked rice and gave the liquid amount for cooking it. The person used already cooked rice and added the specified liquid for the uncooked. They should not have added the liquid at all with already cooked rice.
Load More Replies... EarthGrowl 2 years ago
HA! OK I am beginning to feel a lot better about my cooking ability. At least I can read directions...
Kaiti Yoder 2 years ago
So much same 🤣 I may be so exceptionally cooking inclined that I can occasionally manage to screw up the most basic cooking skills, but at least I know how to read the recipe and try to follow the steps with my limited skills 🤣
Load More Replies... Michael Wilmer 2 years ago
Men cooking: step 1 ingredients. Step 4 pan. Step 6 serve (hey, I'm a man. Been there, done c**p) 🤣
Sina Tallio 2 years ago
I don't get it, even if she missed seeing/reading that step in the instructions she still *followed* that step correctly in practice & it still turned out "way too watery"...she isn't in the wrong 😐
I think I’m hilarious 2 years ago
The recipe said to add water to cook the rice in, but because she used already cooked rice and still added the listed water she was meant to cook it in, it turned out watery.
Load More Replies...If one considers tofu as a meat substitute and not just a foodstuff in its own right, then “vegan meat” dates back to around 200 BCE, giving it considerably more pedigree than entire recipes and national cuisines. And it’s not just limited to East Asian food, there are ancient Greek sources that describe mock anchovies made from boiled and shredded turnips, mixed with oil and salt.
#13
Yes, Cumin Beef Tastes Like Cumin
Ripley 2 years ago
Replaced a sugar (molasses) with a salt (soy sauce) and wonders why it's tastes of salt and disappointment.
The Voice in Your Head 2 years ago
"tastes.of salt and disappointment" I'm keeping that 🤣
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Iridian 2 years ago
Not to mention that the baking soda balances out the otherwise salty taste. Kind of like the bourbon that got left out of the above recipe. Many times, you put an ingredient in not because of what it immediately tastes like but how it will cause a chemical change in the food to all of the other ingredients. Derrrp.
Sewanee Citizen 2 years ago
"I cook all the time, but I had to build shelves today instead. The shelves came out unlevel and shake whenever I walk around my living room. 2 stars!"
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
I have to stop reading these. They're literally the same thing every time "I'm an idiot and I changed the recipe completely now it tastes different. Bad RECIPE!" 0_o
#14
This Was On A Recipe For Peach Ice Cream
Auntriarch 2 years ago
If you use carrots you need a little spice, cardamom, cinnamon, nutmeg, almond essence, something like that
Milady Blue 2 years ago
I would like to take this to my high school home ec teacher, and demand that she change my grade in her cooking class to an A+. I did not get great grades in that class, and I think she would HAVE to concur that even I was not this dumb.
Karynne Williams 2 years ago
What the actual ....?!?!?! I cannot even think how this makes sense.
#15
Thanks For Your Life Story!
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 2 years ago
Before the internet, I had no idea how many people had main character syndrome. EVERYONE! ATTENTION! JOHN IS ON A DIET. EVERYONE TAKE DOWN YOUR RECEIPIES THAT WILL MAKE HIM GAIN WEIGHT!
Auntriarch 2 years ago
At least they didn't make the pancakes and then give no stars because they became ill
Marilyn Russell 2 years ago
Well, although he did overshare just a tad, good for him for losing weight and taking care of his health.
Aisling Raye 2 years ago
I'm so used to getting the life story of the person writing the recipe that I never considered that someone would include their own life story in a review of one. Feels a little hypocritical for the writer to get salty over someone doing exactly what they do on every recipe. Lol
In fact, while often overlooked, meat alternatives were also quite popular in Medieval Europe, as people who participated in Lent would abstain from meat, eggs, and dairy products. As one can imagine, there was not a vegan section at the grocery store, nor a grocery store in general, so people had to be clever about what they ate over lent, as just bread might get exhaustingly boring quite soon.
#16
Christopher Has Had Enough Of Reading About Other People's Substitutions
tl gmc 2 years ago
Guess she needed to add the /s for everyone to understand
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Hodge Elmwood 1 year ago
Guys, you realize this is meant to parody the poor reviews from people who substitute everything, right?
#17
Do You Even Know What A Potato Is? 1 Star!
Beck 2 years ago
You know, for the oxa that come in late all the time. You give it to them.
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Ana Ferreira 2 years ago
But Beth's on a low oxalate diet, how dare make high oxalate recipes, when Beth's on a low oxalate diet? Doesn't he know she's the center of the whole wide world?
Appalachian Panda 2 years ago
I've made a few of his recipes, too. They were terrific.
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Mabelbabel 2 years ago
It's found in food like rhubarb and beetroot. If you're prone to developing kidney stones, a low oxalate diet might be recommended because oxalate is what most kidney stones are formed from.
Load More Replies... Marilyn Russell 2 years ago
Somebody harassed the Spain on a Fork guy? Outrageous! His recipes are great and he’s such a nice guy.
#18
I’m Not Sure If This Counts But It Made Me Laugh
Danielle 2 years ago
Wait, when you hear Americans say "chocolate pudding' is it just chocolate custard? This is brand new information to me.
HungryPanda 2 years ago (edited)
Yes, pudding to americans is custard. Pretty sure savory puddings are not a thing in the states.
Load More Replies...Milk substitutes are perhaps just as old, though one needs to keep in mind that these aren’t one-to-one with dairy substitutes. One can’t exactly make cheese out of oat milk, for example. However, soy milk and coconut milk have been used in lieu of milk for around a thousand years in India, China, and Southeast Asia. So the “soy” part of an often derided “soy latte” is considerably older than the latte.
#19
Geoffrey Doesn't Like Full English Breakfast
Leekier 2 years ago
I’ve no problem with salad for breakfast, just don’t call it a Full English.
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Cat Palmer 2 years ago
I also find a Full English too heavy, so I just... don't eat them. I don't make a salad and call it something else.
Andy Cran 2 years ago
sacrilege,it's considered a treasonable offence here in the UK punishment is being hung drawn and quartered
Michael Fuhry 2 years ago
The archaic punishments are a nice touch. May I also suggest an extended session of keel-hauling as an appetizer?
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MoMcB 2 years ago
An Ulster fry with fried soda bread as well, and even a fried pancake!
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Ace 2 years ago
Salad with bacon and egg, mushrooms and tomatoes? Heathen. If you don't want the beans and sausage feel free to leave the off your plate.
Leekier 2 years ago
I like those places where they let you do substitutions; extra bacon and mushrooms instead of beans and sausage
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Hans Georg 2 years ago
He is right on one thing. A full english breakfast is heavy. Would do it again.
Colleen Glim 2 years ago
If you think the sausage and beans are too heavy, maybe don’t order a full English. Also, who tf has salad for breakfast!?
Marilyn Russell 2 years ago
Gosh - I’m Canadian and even I know it to mess with a Full English!
#20
This Bourbon Chicken Recipe Review
Bidango Smith 2 years ago
"No poo Poirot" may be my new favourite saying ... I'm totally stealing that!
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Stannous Flouride 2 years ago
Several companies make non-alcoholic bourbon flavorings, including, I just learned, a powdered one. Screen-Sho...67-png.jpg 
HungryPanda 2 years ago
The way these people approach recipes is baffling. What happened to common sense?
#21
"The Recipe Is Bad Because I Undercooked It" Absolute Savage Response
Skip62 2 years ago
I am so using wuckfit. I needed something new to call people.😁
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justaprettypotatopanda 2 years ago
Us other Marissa's do not follow her lead nor claim her... :)
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Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 2 years ago
My daughters could make pancakes at 10 years old. Figure it out, Marissa.
gilliansl aka Gillian Silverlight 2 years ago
Have you EVER cooked before, Marissa. Cause having undercooked AND burnt parts in the same item says no.
Michael Wilmer 2 years ago
Okay. Q: under cooked. Burnt???? Yeah, she is cook of year and I'll not date her!
Setting aside dietary restrictions, it’s important to always remember that before readily available refrigeration and containerization technology, in most places recipes and cuisine were built around availability, which is ultimately influenced by everything from geography, weather, and the season, as well as social class. So many world-class cuisines, as we know them today, were built of changes and substitutions. Imagine Italian cuisine before the tomato, or Central and Eastern Europe, before the potato, both of which had to be brought in from the Americas.
#22
I’m Better At Traditional Chinese Cooking Than The Traditional Chinese Cook
Corlissa 2 years ago
Bro did Demi just insult traditional Chinese cooking!? Chinese people, RISE UP WITH ME AND COOK IT THE TRADITIONAL WAY!
#23
Why Do You Have This Much Free Time??
Fat Harry 2 years ago
I do agree with this, though. I have so many recipes bookmarked where the author feels they have to give their life story before actually getting to the recipe.
Spocks's Mom 2 years ago
I don't like to read it either. That's why the jump to recipe button is my friend.
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Sewanee Citizen 2 years ago
Devin has been hurt by people who give him free things but not exactly in the way he likes. And now his scrolling thumb is sore. Sympathies and blessings, Devin.
HungryPanda 2 years ago
I'm questioning Devin's reading capabilities. No one is writiing a blog entry about cheesecake that takes 3-4hrs to read.
Máté Jancsek 2 years ago
no, no... Devin's right. Y'all should stop including your life story, experiments and family tree in the recipe. Nobody gives a damn.
Hodge Elmwood 1 year ago
People. They do this to fill the pages to give them space for advertising. Yes, I hate it too. It also gives them higher google ratings. There's a site called justherecipe.com where you can copy/paste the url of the recipe and it will remove all of the blather. You'll need to pay if you want to print it, though.
#24
This Recipe For Thanksgiving Stuffing
The Other Guest 10 months ago
My ex-boyfriend's mother made it that way, too. So good. Sooooo good.
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Elizabeth Tayler 2 years ago
7/8 of the pan? Not 3/4 or "most of"... Interesting choice of measurement.
BW Gibson 2 years ago (edited)
Yeah, but this one doesn't quite make sense - the measurements for sage versus sausage would be tremendously different - like a half a teaspoon compared to a pound or something like that so I don't even see how somebody can mix e those up..? For example, how much sage could the recipe call for - A tsp? So would you add a tsp of sausage..? Makes no sense
The Other Guest 10 months ago
Bold of you to presume that someone who mistakes sage for sausage would not also confuse teaspoons for cups 🤣
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Peter H 2 years ago
How much sage did the recipe call for that substituting sausage ruined it? A tablespoon?
Annette Easton 2 years ago
Well the predominant spice in stuffing is sage so omitting it would make quite a difference. It wouldn't make it dry though.
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Janet Howe 2 years ago
Why can't people read? Hoked on Fonix Werked fer Me.. Unless English is their second language. But they seem to have a good command of the language when they write the bad review.
Hodge Elmwood 1 year ago
I don't understand how someone ended up with dry stuffing when using sausage. There's usually a decent amount of fat in most sausages. I think they left out the liquid, too.
Michael Wilmer 2 years ago
Had a recipe for stuffing that called thyme, so I flew to London to get a teaspoon of river water.....guess english can't bottle thymes water. 🤣my girlfriend then said the water was from Tim's. Darn recipe!!
This is all to say that substitution and improvisation is the cornerstone of nearly every delicious thing we have ever eaten. However, there is a fine line between genius and madness, one which is readily visible here. From horrifically misunderstanding basic instructions to a complete lack of knowledge about an ingredient, some of the options by these home cooks baffle the mind.
#25
I Found This Gem On A Caramel Ice Cream Recipe And I Am So Glad I Did
Em 2 years ago
I don't think this one deserves mockery. They're fully admitting it was their own fault, and providing information many people might not know. Homemade caramel gets really really hot! I make it at least once a year and still manage to forget this on occasion. Can't tell you how many times I've burnt the unholy hell out of my tongue trying to taste the stuff too soon.
Spocks's Mom 2 years ago
A drop on the skin is smarts too. When my mother was little, she was roasting marshmallows with her siblings and her brother's marshmallow caught on fire. Instead of blowing the marshmallow out, he shook it and the flaming mallow landed on mom's leg. It was like napalm and kept burning her and searing into her skin. Impressive scar. Hot sugar is painful.
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The Shadow of Darbows 2 years ago
Em, you're right, this post is actually one of the few good ones here.
The Scout 2 years ago
Caramel is a devilish poison! My first try on homemade caramel drops cost me a pot, as the sugar caught fire (WTF?) and somehow managed to melt a hole in the pot (even more WTF?). Took me an hour to get the stove clean again. The second batch came out allright, but I have a kind of scared repect for molten sugar since.
Amanda Rose 2 years ago
Homemade caramel is what gave me a second degree sugar burn to my right index finger. I almost needed surgery to fix the damage. Never making caramel again.
Jestinna Welch 2 years ago
I just love the name, "a bad cook" it's honest and also is me. I mean, not literally like I'm not the person that did this review, but I am 100% a bad cook! Lol All I eat is cereal, sammiches, momma's house when invited, and fast food. It is a very unhealthy diet and I will probably die from a heart attack in my 40s but idc! It's delicious thus worth it! Besides, didn't I mention I can't cook, anyway? 😅
Johanna MH 2 years ago
Follow some of those recipes alter the daylights out of them. Whala a new cook is born.
Load More Replies... #26
Things Are Getting Tense In This Banana Bread Recipe's Comments Section
Sewanee Citizen 2 years ago
I have to give props to someone who blithely posts this right along with all the ever-present saintly posts about substituting less sugar.
Jennifer Checki 2 years ago
I think this is fair enough, only because of the 5 stars. They are essentially just giving a different recipe. It’s not the most appropriate place to do that, but again: 5 stars.
Marilyn Russell 2 years ago
Well, if the basic is a winner, you can substitute things and add others if you know what you are doing.
Chris D'Asta 2 years ago
A recipe calls for these items and you substitute these items that are completely not the same thing. Why expect anything but shite?
Aidan Pite 2 years ago
I mean if you don't have baking powder you can use baking soda and vinegar, but pretty sure it doesn't work the other way around. '
#27
Ritzchef Is All Of Us
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 2 years ago
Please don't. I do door dash and you know Liz doesn't tip.
Load More Replies... DJR 2 years ago (edited)
I look at recipes that are clearly just trying to be fancy by adding extra steps that won't be worth the extra effort, then I look at 5 more recipes for the same dish, come to a solid conclusion about what is supposed to happen, and make something delicious. At no point do I tell the recipe writer that the recipe they wrote is too hard.
Hecate DeMort 2 years ago
I think it's ok to say that a meal is a lot of work but only when you have made it. Not all recipes say how long it will take to prepare
Vira 2 years ago
I made a dish for a relative's gathering, and everyone loved it. My relative asked for the recipe. I gave it to her. She then screamed that it was "way too much work!" And proceeded to berate me for the ingredients. I suppose it shouldn't shock anyone that I stopped talking to her because she's a bit unhinged.
Chris D'Asta 2 years ago
Why waste the time posting if you have no desire to make the meal? Move along, nothing to see here. People like this make me think Psychic Vampires are real.
Phyllis Panda 2 years ago
There's always Door Dash. Remember to tip your driver if you want your food delivered in good shape.
These posts are great, because they often also present the recipe itself, or at least excerpts from it, which allows us to gauge if there was something unclear or poorly written in the recipe itself. Spoiler alert, most of the examples here are so simple and clear, a child could follow them, just not, it seems, the average home cook/netizen.
#28
Amy Out There Fighting The Good Fight
#29
This Person Added An Unnecessary Egg And Got Mad The Cake Was Ruined
HungryPanda 2 years ago
This is too familiar. I tried cracking an egg on what was aperfect pb&j sndwich. It added nothing. The egg was so runny and the bread got soggy. Need to stop arbitrarily adding eggs to things...
Jennifer Checki 2 years ago
I noticed there were no jalapeños in this chocolate pudding recipe, so I added 6, and two of my guests had to go to Urgent Care! Thanks a lot, Martha Stewart!
Sara Wilson 2 years ago
I love how people pick a recipe to cook from and then change it on their own. If u r so awesome, don't use a recipe!
#30
On A Post For A Homemade Peach Cake
The Shadow of Darbows 2 years ago
From "Homemade Peach Cake" to "Store-bought Strawberry Cake"
Jeremy James 2 years ago
I can't hate on boxed cake mixes. It's just pre-measured cake flour, sugar, baking soda, and salt. Nothing wrong with that. It's just the same thing you would do in your kitchen, but pre-measured by somebody who doesn't care about you. Then it's shunted into a bag, which goes into a box, which gets shipped around the world. You add an egg and a whisk and you feel like you're cooking, baby!
Load More Replies... Milady Blue 2 years ago
It IS peach cake. The peaches must have mutated into strawberries, for some odd reason...
Russell Rieckenberg 2 years ago
Great Recipe! I was in a hurry so I bought a peach cake at the store.
Jo May 2 years ago
Ok, here is a Tuesday visual. THESE PEOPLE ARE WALKING AMONGST US.. driving cars, jobs, and propagating. I'm very afraid.
Shawnna Clement 2 years ago
I'd rather use a boxed cake mix than measuring cups and spoons if I don't have a scale. Unless ingredients are measured by weight, it will come out a little differently every time. I bought a denser flour than normal and ended up with dense, not so sweet vanilla cupcakes for a bake sale. I injected some maple syrup and topped it with maple cream cheese frosting and garnished with brown sugar bacon. I grabbed a few boxes of cake mix for the rest and ordered a kitchen scale.
Everyone makes mistakes, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Similarly, many of us have “bright” ideas that in reality turn out to be utter nonsense. Most of the time, a wise person will note the mistake and move on. These geniuses here, instead, decided to publicly share the nonsense that was going through their heads, no doubt in the belief that they are incredible cooks and could not have made a mistake. And if you want to see other “genius” cooks in action, look no further and check out our other article here.
#31
Amber Doesn't Bother To Read, And Gets Schooled By The Recipe's Author
HungryPanda 2 years ago
Ok, transferred to a plate, but we're still hungry! Nowhere does it say in the recipe when to serve the porkchops.
EarthGrowl 2 years ago
Aren't you supposed to read the entire recipe First then start mixing the ingredients? Someone tell me if I am wrong?! Read, Know, Do! Read the directions, know what you are supposed to do, then Do it!
gilliansl aka Gillian Silverlight 2 years ago
Oh! Oh! Look up the you tube vid about the girl that can't read a measuring cup. She must be a sister of this one.
Reviewer UK01 2 years ago
That said, I hate recipes which make multiple steps into one step. I don't get often cook anything now, but if I do then I'll re-write the recipe with exactly one thing under each number. I can't be doing with 1. Get a bowl 2. Crack in 2 eggs 3. Whisk the eggs, add some milk and half of the sugar then transfer it into a pan and back into the bowl again, cover, wait 5 minutes, add a further third of the half remaining sugar, put the cat out, call your grandma, pat your head and rub your stomach while you put everything in a preheated oven I never told you to preheat. I need it all in order and one thing at a time.
#32
On A Recipe For Vegan Peanut Butter Frosting
Iridian 2 years ago
Again... another example of people not understanding that many times, ingredients are added for what they do chemically to the entire dish rather than for the immediate taste.
Sabrina 2 years ago
Like making a meringue, you can't cut down the sugar, try once to realise that you can't cut down the sugar level, because sugar is the one that help to make a meringue.
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Lizzie Lola 2 years ago
Sugar is (generally) a "to taste" thing in frosting, but you have to thin it with something like, oh...soymilk, to make it pipe able! 🤦♀️
Kat Hoth 2 years ago
Baking is a science, cooking is an art. Baking has a specific ratio of specific ingredients. Cooking you can do all the substitutions you like. It always amazes me that people don't realize that simple fact. My dishes always come out a little different. My baked goods on the other hand follow the recipe to the letter.
EarthGrowl 2 years ago
*sigh* I don't see how humans have survived 200,000 years without divine intervention. For all you Atheists, here is the proof a higher power is certainly watching over humanity. We would have long ago been extinct from stupidity.
Liriel4 2 years ago
Able to put in a piping bag for decorating purposes. If it's too thick it won't come out, too thin and it goes splat.
Load More Replies... 𖤐houseplant𖤐 2 years ago
great golly gee... i can't stop laughing please send help and come to my funeral when i die
Janet Howe 2 years ago
When people put out these recipes, they usually provide a couple substitutions or variables. But that's it. You can't change half the recipe and expect it to come out right.
#33
French Toast. With Tortilla. And Aquafaba. And Cumin
Sabs 2 years ago (edited)
Substitutes an ingredient for beans and wonders why the recipe tastes like beans. People like that make me wonder…
Jennifer Clark 2 years ago
At least substitute the egg with apple sauce, no strong flavor.
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Sewanee Citizen 2 years ago
"I do not enjoy food, nor life for that matter, and this recipe didn't find a way to overcome my self-imposed misery. 2 stars."
Nitka Tsar 2 years ago
Why didn‘t they use a vegan egg substitute? You can buy them ready to use.
#34
No Substitutions (As Far As We Know) But A Wild Ride
Milady Blue 2 years ago
Maybe skip the Ambien, since you are cooking in your sleep as a result?
Holly McRell 2 years ago
My friend would wake up and find empty bakery full-sized cake containers on her bed. She would take Ambien, drive to the store, buy entire cakes, and eat them in her sleep. She no longer takes Ambien!
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Page intentially left blank 2 years ago
Ambien, I presume? I can relate. I've paid bills in my sleep. No, really.
Aisling Raye 2 years ago
Back when I was taking ambien, I used to go running in my sleep. I lived alone and only figured out the mystery of why my running shoes were by the front door in the mornings when my neighbors told me about wishing they were disciplined enough to be out running in the early morning hours as often as I was. The experience was great for multitasking sleep and cardio, but not exactly safe. I had a very brief moment where I considered not telling my doc about it, but then my desire to not get hit by a car won out.
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Alex S 2 years ago
Recipe Tin Eats is AMAZING and her stuff is so simple to cook so I can week believe sleep chicken wings would be delicious.
Sara Wilson 2 years ago
Yeah, take the ambien down a bit. I used to sleep "clean" when I was on it. Shampoo would end up in the freezer. Trick is to take it when u r in bed and ready to sleep. If u take it while u r up and doing stuff, it's more likely to happen. But now I have the wonderfulness of the devils lettuce to help me sleep!
Lost Penny 2 years ago
I was watering my lawn & talking to a tree once when I was on Ambien... Oh, and fish, mustn't forget the fish! We had a deeply philosophical debate at some point and were very pleased with each other. (Edit: the fish were in my fish tank)
Cat R 2 years ago
I used Ambien for a time. I'd sleep eat, like most of a cake or pie. Then I'd just leave the mess and go back to bed. My husband would find it everywhere, on the counter and the floor. Sometimes a trail leading out of the kitchen. We won't talk about the attacking my husband in the middle of the night for sleep sex. I never remembered a bit in the morning. Thankfully, I never tried to leave or drive. I stopped it for those reasons, but life was interesting for a bit.
#35
Can I Make The Sugar Spread Without Sugar?
Lucille 2 2 years ago
Substitute 4 cups of thoughts & prayers and you should be fine!
Load More Replies... Ovata Acronicta 2 years ago (edited)
I would like to try butter with my Oreos as a standalone thing rather than an attempt at frosting. I'll respond to or edit this when I try that. If I remember. edit: it's okay. It goes with the cookie fine, but the filling kind of throws it off. Then again, I am not a fan of the oreo filling and had to dig to find the single package of regular Oreos without double/mega/whatever stuf.
Hodge Elmwood 1 year ago
Frosting is sugar with butter for stabilizing the mixture (fat). Without sugar you don't get frosting at all. If you can or won't eat sugar, don't make frosting.
#36
Just Devastated That Mayonnaise Doesn’t Make Good Frosting. But I Still Ate It
LauraDragonWench 2 years ago (edited)
Um, nitpicker here, but it should be "substitute mayonnaise FOR the heavy cream." After all, the idiot apparently did just that, used mayonnaise instead of heavy cream. So it seems we've lost reading comprehension and basic grammar along with spelling...maths, science, history, geography, critical thinking... How is America still around? 🤦
John D. Wangsgaard 2 years ago (edited)
Thank you! Holy cow, I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. There are (at least) two ways one can express this idea: using either "with", or "for". The order of the original and substitute differs, and it matters! If you're eliminating (X) and using (Y), instead, you're either "replacing (X) with (Y)," or "substituting (Y) for (X)."
Load More Replies... TiNaBoNiNa 2 years ago
Cream: made from milk. Mayo: made from EGGS!!!! The only thing the two things have in common is that they were once inside an animal.
Ovata Acronicta 2 years ago
...So...the color doesn't define the flavor, the consistency does. I've gone back and forth so many times I don't think I can keep this straight.
Colleen Glim 2 years ago
But you could substitute mayo for mashed potato. The consistency and the colour are the same right?
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Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 2 years ago
Obviously it's the right color.
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Jeremy James 2 years ago
Maybe mention that you can't substitute muriatic acid for lemon juice next time. This recipe ruined my baking pans AND OVEN!!!
#37
Translation: It’s A Frittata, You Twit
Em 2 years ago
Egg substitute. I use it for baking since one of my coworkers is vegan, but I've tried cooking it up by itself just to see what it's like. Comes out close enough, especially if you're already used to not eating chicken eggs.
Jennifer Clark 2 years ago
Applesauce is good for baked goods, moist and binding, without a strong flavor. I work at a summer camp and we often have campers with food allergies.
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LillieMean 2 years ago
Next time, type the magic word vegan frittata into Google search and be surprised by the results.
Iridian 2 years ago
Reminds me of a child I know who loathes eggs but ask him what his favourite dish is, and he squeals QUIIIIIIIICHE!
Andy Cran 2 years ago (edited)
or the kid that wants an egg free omelette (yes I'm aware of egg substitute)
Load More Replies... Ken Beattie 2 years ago
I don't mind this one since they're asking a question not trashing the recipe and giving it a 1 star. Maybe the chef behind it would have an idea for a successful substitute.
Kharyss 2 years ago
Nagi’s recipes are great. Simple to follow and really tasty. Plus she has a very cute golden retriever called Dozer who appears at the end of every one as chief taste tester. Check out the recipetineats site.
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Anna Drever 2 years ago
Not that it tastes like egg but you can substitute chickpea flour, and liquid of course. It makes a Socca of sorts. I use a yum recipe that also includes soaked and drained cashews in the batter.
#38
Recipe Is Missing Peanut Butter
HungryPanda 2 years ago
Um, make a peanut butter roux and pour it on chicken satay. Not that farfetched.
Mike Fitzpatrick 2 years ago
I would buy tickets to watch this person make a roux with peanut butter. Get lots of popcorn, this is gonna be a comedy!
𖤐houseplant𖤐 2 years ago
i need peanut butter in this. why is there no peanut butter in this roux?
#39
When Recipes On The Internet Should Know That You’re Prediabetic, And Should Reflect As Much
Jestinna Welch 2 years ago
It's just weird if you ask me. Which you didn't but I said it anyway lol
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Sewanee Citizen 2 years ago
"About ME - 5 stars; Not about ME - 1 star; About ME - 5 stars; Not about ME - 1 star...why do I keep running into recipes that are only worthy of 1 star!!!"
Anna Drever 2 years ago
I seriously doubt the quinoa (or any grain or pseudo-grain) is what hurts a pre-diabetic person. Pretty sure it’s the pies, doughnuts, cakes etc, etc.
Phyllis Panda 2 years ago
My doctor said to limit white bread, potatoes and white rice, and sweets!
Load More Replies... gilliansl aka Gillian Silverlight 2 years ago
The WORLD is either diabetic or prediabetic, said the retired nurse.
Yvonne Cooper 2 years ago
No one commented on quinoa being healthy carbs and good to eat, especially if diabetic?
#40
So Tasty It Sent My Dog To The Hospital. Definitely The Recipe's Fault. One Star
The Greatest JMS W Cool Animation 2 years ago
So they did a medium sized cat shape, and was mad because it was too big that it got stuck in their dog's esophagus? Wow
Iridian 2 years ago (edited)
I was on guard the instant I saw the gratuitous use of the word 'literally' at the top of the post. I've learned that no matter the topic, not much good comes after such use of the word.
Michelle Forbes 2 years ago
The human race never ceases to amaze me and not in a good way...eejits
EarthGrowl 2 years ago
I want to see that recipe. I mainly cook for my pet rats. My husband and kids ran away from my food years ago.
#41
Baking Soda, Baking Powder. Potato Potahto
Binky Melnik 2 years ago
I learned this one the hard way in Home Ec class, where we were required to at least taste everything we made. We encountered baking powder for the first time in a recipe for muffins, and assumed it was an error because we’d never heard of it, and so used baking soda instead. Our muffins didn’t rise, and came out like hard, dry hockey pucks. We all tasted as required then tossed the rest out. We were lucky our teacher recognized our error and explained it to us. I know I never made that mistake again, and I assume my teammates never did, either. That was a good (hard, dry) learning experience!
Janet Howe 2 years ago
I loved Home Ec. We did lots of cool stuff. And yes, what we made didn't always come out as planned. But that's how we learned. We made cinnamon rolls once. Again, hockey pucks. But we got to take our leftovers home with us. I was so proud when my father actually ATE one!
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LauraDragonWench 2 years ago
To, too, two. Three different spellings, three different meanings. To mean "an excess of" it's spelled f*****g "TOO"! There are rules in English for a reason, to communicate clearly. Otherwise, what's the point? Eye kood spel thengs enny wey eye waunt, rite?
Captain Awesome 2 years ago
So, I guess they don't know that you can substitute baking powder for baking soda but you need to add an acid to get the leavening effect (think cream of tartar)
Binky Melnik 2 years ago
Captain, I’ve never known what “cream of tartar” is (and as a kid, I’d gag when I saw it because I thought it was referring to the goop that can collect on teeth if you don’t brush). (Sorry for making readers gag, too.) Are you able to explain in a breif sentence what it is? (Yeah, I could google, but then I risk falling into a rabbit hole and I have a buncha stuff to do!) If it can’t be quickly explained, then never mind, but thanks for reading!
Load More Replies... EarthGrowl 2 years ago
Read the Label! Now I know how people put window wiper fluid in their engine!
Eunice Robertson 2 years ago
Baking soda (bicarbonate of soda, for non-Americans), can be used as a raising agent if there is an acid such as buttermilk, or yoghurt , lemon juice or vinegar in the recipe. Actually works very well.
#42
Big Hot Oil Mess
EarthGrowl 2 years ago
Yall are going to make me cry. This kind of stupidity is painful to witness.
Marilyn Russell 2 years ago
Well, I do know that my late FIL left his deep fryer on the stove and accidentally turned the burner on once and melt it a bit.
#43
Didn't Read Directions, Got Food Poisoning
Mavis 2 years ago
First rule of a successful dinner party, never cook a recipe for the first time. Always serve something you are familiar with and know how to cook properly.
Holly McRell 2 years ago
And whatever you do, please don't ask Smith to bring a dish of food.
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Sewanee Citizen 2 years ago
they are a baby-fern vegetable. They grow wild in Maine in the spring. very short season.
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Connie Bonneville 2 years ago
I remember camping & collecting fiddleheads as a kid. No thanks.
Sharon Attwood 2 years ago
Read, folks…just read and follow directions, ingredients carefully!
Marilyn Russell 2 years ago
None of his friends are ever coming to any of his dinner parties again!
#44
What Happened Here Is Truly A Mystery
Mike Fitzpatrick 2 years ago
Is it just me or do lots of these people seem to have a hangup on applesauce?
Nikole 2 years ago
It’s used as a dairy substitute sometimes, but clearly it barely works.
Load More Replies... TiNaBoNiNa 2 years ago
Milk adds protein and fat, things applesauce does not have much of. Coconut cream has slightly more protein and a lot more fat than milk. I cannot handle milk protein, so the coconut cream is a good substitute for me in most cases.
Binky Melnik 2 years ago
I cannot for the life of me grok the thinking behind so many of these reviews. How are these people fooling themselves? “I followed the recipe EXACTLY. I replaced the chocolate with liver and the milk with ground hazelnuts. Why was the result gag-inducing, bitter, and crusty? I’ll never make this terrible recipe again!” Why do they think substituting ingredients with others which bear NO resemblance in taste, texture, or quantity to the one in the recipe has NO bearing on the outcome? There appears to be NO brain use going on. And how do sooo many people not understand what they’re making, thinking they can replace, say, sugar with, say, bologne, or with Brussels sprouts, or fettuccini? Why don’t they come up with another grainy, sweet item that has a similar affect to sugar? While not confined to food recipes, I see sooo many stupid reviews written by anencephalic dopes who can’t/won’t follow instrux that it makes me wonder why they bother in the first place. 😕
EarthGrowl 2 years ago
Everyone of these are "I fiddled with the recipe, it's the recipe authors fault my food is bad! What is wrong with people?
#45
I Think They Should Reread Their Review
Christine Wild 2 years ago
If she’s a vegetarian? Applesauce is a. Substitute for oil in a recipe
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Rebelliousslug 2 years ago
…”I did not turn out well”, seems like their typo really sums things up
Tasha Love 2 years ago
"You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means."
RapidUnscheduledDisassembly 2 years ago
Yes, it's a common substitute in baked goods BUT you can't do it in all recipes, and you can't always sub out all of it.
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Kelly Sardella 2 years ago
No child left behind Act in US left education out of many American children's lives going back 20+ yrs
Load More Replies... Page intentially left blank 2 years ago
"I don't know what went wrong when I substituted an ingredient used as a binder with a mushed up fruit."
Alyssa Phillips 2 years ago
Tbf, in many instances, applesauce or sour cream can be substituted for the oil. Many. Not all. It depends on if the oil is providing fat or moisture.
#46
I Didn’t Follow The Directions
Hawkmoon 2 years ago
Sometimes improvisation leads to miracles. (But more often it leads to disasters as seen above and below).
UpupaEpops 2 years ago
Maybe they just used the list of ingredients instead of reading the cooking instructions as well?
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Jeff Gabrisl 2 years ago
I have to say that my best ever invention in the kitchen is making sausage gravy for biscuits and gravy based on a vanilla pudding recipe I really love. I make it the same way as the pudding recipe, but instead of sugar and vanilla, I use fresh ground black pepper, and chopped up frozen pre-cooked sausage. The White gravy is thick and rich, without all of the greasy sausage fat. 11/10, best biscuits and gravy ever, as long as the gravy doesn't get too cold. Definitely the best vanilla pudding recipe ever!
#47
Not The Recipe's Fault
MushroomHead22 2 years ago
because he was raised in a house where you try things several times before you don't like it. because parents really think that their child is lying the first time they try something.
Load More Replies... #48
Cindy Is Not Happy About The Use Of Eggs In Baked Goods
Diolla 2 years ago
Amazing how God took his time to teach her all this b.s.. Or maybe she did not listen well.
Phil 2 years ago
I spent 10 years in Lutheran school and can't remember Jesus' guac recipe. Now, for the life of me I can't find it in the Gospels.
Load More Replies... Iridian 2 years ago
These people DO realize that plants were once alive, too, but by the time they are cooked that they are then 'cooked dead food'? No... too much to wrap a brain around that's already too busy memorizing other people's soundbites.
TiNaBoNiNa 2 years ago
Also, seeds are the means by which plants reproduce, so one could argue they are equivalent to an egg.
Load More Replies... The Shadow of Darbows 2 years ago
(Rant Warning) also all this "dairy and meat is bad for you" in my opinion sounds like absolute trash. Apparently we are not to eat meat even though we can and we are literally omnivores. According to research, alzeimers is caused by abnormal buildup of protein in and around brain cells, not by dairy and meat with sugar. There is bacteria used in creating yoghurt, and that has vitamins, calcium and protein. If you want to talk about dead cooked food, we have the whole span of vegetables and fruits, because the moment you uproot or pick something, it immediately starts to rot because it is unalived. Changes its molecular structure? Doesn't feed us correctly? I don't have any information to throw at this but in my opinion this lady's beliefs are horribly flawed. (Sorry if you guys don't like this, the thing is this post for me is triggering at the opinions of some people.)
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Anna Stephenson 2 years ago
Not sure why we have teeth specifically designed to tear meat then!? Veggies just don't offer much resistance lol