Drama Erupts After Bridezilla Tells Parents Of Autistic Cousin She Doesn’t Want Her At Her Wedding

You can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family. This simple fact can lead to considerable friction when family members don’t see eye to eye, especially when extended family relationships are involved.

One bride-to-be turned to the internet to ask if she would be a jerk for not wanting her adult autistic cousin at her child-free wedding, after she revealed that her cousin is high-functioning. However, netizens slammed the bridezilla for her ableist attitude.

More info: Reddit

You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family, much to the disappointment of this bridezilla

Bride and groom sharing cake at a wedding, highlighting child-free wedding theme.

Image credits: anatoliy_cherkas / Freepik (not the actual photo)

She’s getting married next spring, and she and her fiancé have chosen to have a child-free wedding

Text discussing a child-free wedding rule and excluding autistic cousin.

Text explaining bride's child-free wedding rule affecting a 20-year-old autistic cousin.

Young woman wearing glasses and a rainbow cardigan sits on a couch using a tablet, related to child-free wedding rule.

Image credits: Holiak / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The only problem is that she doesn’t want her adult autistic cousin to attend, leading to an irate aunt and uncle

Text describing an autistic cousin's behavior and interests at family gatherings.

Text image discussing exclusion at a child-free wedding and family upset.

Woman in a white blouse sitting at a table, looking concerned, papers scattered, with a tablet nearby; child-free wedding theme.

Image credits: master1305 / Freepik  (not the actual photo)

The woman turned to the web to gather opinions on her wish to exclude her cousin from the wedding

Text discussing a child-free wedding rule causing confusion for a 20-year-old autistic cousin.

Text discussing exclusion from a child-free wedding, mentioning a fiancé's disagreement and feelings of guilt.

Image credits: throwawaybride2be222

Netizens didn’t hold back, slamming the woman for her ableist behavior, and even her fiancé says it’s a jerk move

OP begins her story by telling the community that she’s getting married to the love of her life next spring. She adds that she and her fiancé have decided on a child-free wedding since not many of her friends and family have young children—and the ones that do can easily arrange babysitters because the wedding invitations were sent out in good time.

According to OP, the only snag is her aunt and uncle, who have a 20-year-old autistic daughter who will be 21 by the time of the wedding. She describes her cousin as “highly-functioning,” meaning she can get by pretty much on her own, despite the fact that she still lives with her parents and works at a grocery store.

OP says that, although her cousin is an adult, she just doesn’t see her as such. She goes on to criticize her incessant interest in toy ponies and Barbie dolls and the way she never makes eye contact when they speak. She then goes on to say her cousin doesn’t have meltdowns, but she doesn’t want to risk having her big day ruined.

When she told her aunt and uncle about her decision to exclude their daughter from the wedding, they got upset and said they’d already bought her cousin a dress and wedding gifts, but OP said she didn’t want to hear it. Now, even her fiancé is calling it a jerk move, especially considering her cousin has been to other weddings without an issue.

Wedding checklist on a notepad, with rings and gift, symbolizing a child-free wedding planning scene.

Image credits: Rawf8.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)

From what OP tells us in her post, this certainly seems like cut-and-dry ableist behavior. What makes it even worse is the fact that the person being discriminated against has no history of acting out. Now that OP has been labeled by netizens as an ableist, how can she start to undo the damage? We went looking for answers. 

Being an effective ally to disabled individuals involves active support, continuous learning, and advocacy for inclusivity. 

According to the World Institute on Disability website, an easy way to remember how to be a good ally is an acronym for the word ally itself: Acknowledge (and respect) individual experiences and abilities, Learn about different disability types, Leverage your influence to promote accessibility and inclusion, and Yield the floor to people with disabilities to help identify and eliminate barriers.

According to The Help Group website, other key steps to positive allyship include using respectful language, challenging ableism, promoting accessibility, listening to and amplifying voices, respecting autonomy, supporting disability rights, and fostering inclusive communities.

It would definitely seem that OP has a way to go toward dismantling her exclusionary view—here’s hoping she sees the wisdom in netizens’ reactions, for both her and her cousin’s sake. 

What would you do if you found yourself in the shoes of the cousin’s parents? Do you think they should pull out of the wedding in protest? Let us know your opinion in the comments!

In the comments, readers weren’t shy about expressing their disdain for the bride-to-be’s ableist behavior and swiftly agreed she was being a total jerk

Reddit comment criticizing a bride's child-free wedding rule, highlighting exclusion of an autistic cousin.

Reddit comment criticizing a bride's child-free wedding rule, noting its negative impact on an autistic cousin.

Internet explodes over wedding rule excluding 20-year-old autistic cousin, comment criticizes decision.

Text screenshot discussing criticism of a child-free wedding excluding an autistic cousin.

Reddit comment criticizing a child-free wedding rule excluding a 20-year-old autistic cousin.

Comment criticizing child-free wedding rule excluding autistic cousin.

Reddit post criticizing "child-free wedding" policy that excluded an autistic adult cousin.

Text exchange discussing excluding a 20-year-old autistic cousin from a child-free wedding.

Reddit comment discussing the exclusion of an autistic cousin from a child-free wedding rule.

Online discussion about bride excluding autistic cousin from child-free wedding.

Text comment discussing child-free wedding and its implications on excluding individuals.

Comment on child-free wedding rule excluding a cousin with autism.

Text image discussing exclusion at a child-free wedding, highlighting a conflict with autistic adult being targeted.

Comment on child-free wedding rule excluding autistic cousin.

Text from social media post discussing a child-free wedding rule excluding an autistic cousin.

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