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Woman Protects Her Dog From 2.5YO Nephew, Sister Demands An Apology
Toddler standing in a playroom near a sitting golden retriever, illustrating parenting and child discipline themes.
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Woman Protects Her Dog From 2.5YO Nephew, Sister Demands An Apology

Interview With Expert

44

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Some people argue that we don’t deserve dogs. And maybe it’s true. But I’m sure glad we get to share the earth with our furry four-legged companions. If you’re lucky, you get to live with one. If you were even luckier, you might have grown up around one or two. Kids and dogs can become the best of friends for life, provided parents create the right environment and nurture love and respect between them.

One woman was not impressed when she witnessed her nephew hitting the family pet on the head with a coaster. The elderly golden retriever was snoozing on the couch, minding his own business, when it happened. Since the toddler’s parents turned a blind eye, the woman decided to take matters into her own hands. But some netizens believe she should have dealt with it differently. Bored Panda spoke to two experts to get their opinions. One is Lisa Smith, Founder of The Peaceful Parent. The other is Nicole Ellis, a Certified Professional Dog Trainer and Pet Lifestyle Expert with Rover.

RELATED:

    Golden retrievers are known as one of the most gentle dog breeds and make great family pets

    Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual photo)

    When one person’s nephew hit their sleeping retriever on the head, she didn’t take it lying down

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    Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)

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    Image source: Mmemm

    Many wanted more details, and at one point, the aunt called someone out for false accusations

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    Toddlers aren’t aware that hitting a dog is wrong, a parenting expert weighs in

    Image credits: Natali Hordiiuk (not the actual photo)

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    Toddlers are deeply curious creatures exploring cause and effect, parenting expert Lisa Smith tells Bored Panda during our chat. “They’re still building empathy, still learning that others have feelings,” she says. “If they see a dog flinch or yelp, they’re observing—but they don’t yet grasp pain from another’s point of view unless we help connect those dots.”

    The founder of The Peaceful Parent says that sometimes it’s play. Sometimes it’s testing boundaries. Sometimes it’s an expression of overwhelm. “That’s why harsh reprimands aren’t effective,” she adds. “They shut down the learning.”

    The expert says that she understands why the aunt is protective of the elderly dog. “Seeing a toddler hit the dog would’ve been jarring. But while her intention was to protect, her reaction likely felt scary and shaming to a young child,” said Smith. “Saying ‘how would you like it if I hit you in the face?’ is a phrase that reflects her anger more than her values—and it models exactly the kind of aggression she was trying to discourage. It also places blame before curiosity, which shuts down learning.”

    Smith adds that it could have helped more if the aunt had grounded herself first… “Taken one breath, checked her tone—and then gently but firmly intervened. Something like: ‘Hey, sweetie, we don’t hit Lucky. That hurts him. He’s an old dog and needs gentle hands. Followed by showing the child how to pet softly, and then involving them in caring for the dog (e.g. bringing over his water bowl). That would have built empathy instead of fear.”

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    The expert adds that the aunt’s protectiveness was valid. But her tone and phrasing were misaligned with a toddler’s developmental stage. “So yes, the message needed to be delivered—but it needed to come from a place of calm teaching, not reactivity,” she explained.

    A dog trainer and pet lifestyle expert gives their advice when it comes to toddler/dog interactions

    Nicole Ellis is a Certified Professional Dog Trainer and Pet Lifestyle Expert with online pet marketplace, Rover. Ellis agrees that toddlers are still learning impulse control and empathy, which is why she says supervision is key. “Interrupt, redirect, and teach gently and consistently,” the expert told Bored Panda during an interview.

    Ellis says if you spot your young child pulling a dog’s tail, or hitting them, you should immediately intervene. “Calmly remove the child from the situation—never punish the dog for reacting,” she said. Parents or caregivers should also model gentle interaction. “Say, We use gentle hands with dogs,’ and show how to softly pet the dog,” suggests the trainer.

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    She adds that it helps to practise with stuffed animals. “Role-play how to treat a dog kindly using toys, and praise the child when they’re gentle,” Ellis advises, adding that you should not blame the child. “Toddlers are exploring, not being malicious. Use this as a teachable moment.”

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    Finally, the expert advises that you praise the dog. “Reward your dog for remaining calm—but never force them to stay in a situation where they feel uncomfortable,” she said.

    Scientists have found that dogs are magic. Just kidding. But here’s what they do say about getting your child a furry friend…

    Image credits: Robert Eklund (not the actual photo)

    Show me a kid who hasn’t asked for a puppy at least once in their life, and I’ll take that unwanted puppy! I know my own son has begged for a little furball at least five times—this year alone. But because we already have a dog, and I’m not yet ready to raise another baby, adopting a pup will have to wait… That said, I’ll probably cave sooner than I think.

    There are major benefits that come with children growing up around animals. And they’re scientifically proven. For example, recent pediatric health studies foundthat kids who live with pets (especially dogs) during their first year of life actually have stronger immune systems than those who do not.

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    The researchers say that exposure to doggos could have “positively boosted the maturation of their immune system during infancy.” And when these children did get sick, they needed shorter courses of antibiotics than those who lived in “petless” homes.

    Another study revealed that dogs can help prevent allergies in children. If the child’s parent suffers from respiratory allergies or asthma, the child is much less likely to develop similar issues if they have a dog in the house. But the experts say early exposure is key—meaning you should get that pup before your kid turns one.

    Scientists also say that dogs are magic. Just kidding. But only sort of.

    A Medical News Today study found that children in households with a dog had lower stress levels. While another revealed that exposure to dogs early in life could help to stave off childhood eczema. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that “having a pet dog in the home was associated with a decreased probability of childhood anxiety.”

    One teacher who took part in a study about classroom pets said, “Having pets is an INVALUABLE aid for helping the children gain pride, caring, and empathy for the needs of themselves and others.”

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    Smith agrees. “Caring for another life will require your child to become a more compassionate individual,” she told Bored Panda. “Feeding or walking them, at times they may have other things they would rather be doing, will mean that they have to step outside of themselves, and practice being selfless.”

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    Of course, caring for a pet teaches children life lessons, too. “Accomplishing small tasks (such as filling up their water dish) will help them feel like they are competent and will also give them a sense of accomplishment,” notes the Drake Center for Veterinary Care. And, it teaches them unconditional love.

    Practice the “pat, pet, pause” method to keep your kids and pets safe

    Image credits: Kateryna Hliznitsova (not the actual photo)

    It’s one thing to wax lyrical about the benefits of having a dog around your child. But we can’t ignore the dangers. Like the risk of the child being bitten. Or the dog getting hurt. That’s why experts say it’s important for kids to learn to respect dogs both within and outside of the home.

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    The single best thing parents can do to improve the safety of dog-child interactions is to read your dog’s body language. That’s according to the Animal Humane Society (AHS).

    “Practice this skill with your child by teaching them common dog cues in advance, and verbalizing what you’re seeing during supervised interactions,” reads the site. “You may be surprised to learn that a wagging tail does not equate to happiness, or that a dog staying very still could be indicating extreme discomfort.”

    They also advise that you teach kids to ask for permission before engaging—and that includes asking the dog. “We call this pat, pet, pause whereby a child (or adult) pats their leg to invite a dog over for affection, softly pets the dog, then pauses to allow the dog to decide whether they’d like to receive more pets or move on,” explains AHS. 

    It’s important to always respect a dog’s boundaries. “Children should never invade a dog’s personal space, sit, lay or climb on a dog, or steal their toys or treats,” warns AHS. “Respect is key, and we want to avoid your dog developing any negative associations with your child (or worse, acting aggressively).”

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    Integrating supervised playtime between kids and pets can help promote a positive relationship while building trust.

    Does your canine love to play fetch? Show your kid how to roll or throw a ball or toy for your dog,” suggests AHS. “Is your pup food motivated? Help your child toss treats or offer your dog a few licks of peanut butter from a spoon.”

    The Society’s experts say the more your dog associates these positive experiences with your child, the more likely their relationship will bloom.

    But AHS warns that you should never leave your child unattended with the family dog. “When you’re not able to actively observe their interactions, keep kids and dogs separated with the use of baby gates or room dividers, especially when your kids are young and still learning how to share the same space as their furry friend,” notes the site.

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    People had mixed reactions, with some warning the situation could have been worse

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    Robyn Smith

    Robyn Smith

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Robyn is an award-winning journalist who has produced work for several international media outlets. Made in Africa and exported to the world, she is obsessed with travel and the allure of new places. A lover of words and visuals, Robyn is part of the Bored Panda writing team. This Panda has two bamboo tattoos: A map of Africa & the words "Be Like The Bamboo... Bend Never Break."

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    Robyn Smith

    Robyn Smith

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Robyn is an award-winning journalist who has produced work for several international media outlets. Made in Africa and exported to the world, she is obsessed with travel and the allure of new places. A lover of words and visuals, Robyn is part of the Bored Panda writing team. This Panda has two bamboo tattoos: A map of Africa & the words "Be Like The Bamboo... Bend Never Break."

    What do you think ?
    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The child is almost 3... when are we supposed to START teaching them "you don't hit animals/other children"? Wait until they're exactly 3 years old? (Re: the people who are upset at OP.) I'm fairly certain that children younger than 3 years old can have the foundations of "don't hit animals/other children/other people" laid down even if they cannot understand the "why" yet. We had a lovely Great Dane when I was a baby/toddler who was at my side every moment of my first few years. I - like any child - had learned zero social "rules" and am told I bonked her a few times with sticks (which she took in stride) and one time I apparently put quite a few clothespins on her ears and flews. I have a vague memory of my dad "explaining" to me that we do not hurt animals (no clue of his actual words, just remember the "feeling" of the talk.) He was calm and did not yell or hit me. I think young children absolutely CAN be taught not to hit animals/other people.

    Tyke
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Totally agree. I also don't see what's wrong with "how would you like it"... teaching them to think the consequences through.

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    Gabby M
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Slap your sister with the coaster.

    Littlemiss
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you don't teach your child right from wrong, someone else might. My husband points out to our son, I would rather you learn a lesson on how to modify innapropriate behavior by someone who loves you and cares and will do so in an appropriate manner. Because it's not going to be nice if someone who doesn't care replies in kind.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Agree , whilst mine where taught very early on cos they were bought up with dogs in the house , if they had done this else where n the owner did this I’d be fine cos the other outcome don’t bear thinking about does it

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    sturmwesen
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought it was common to take away stuff with which kids hit people pets or delicate stuff with? how else are they supposed to learn?are we supposed to let them hit everyone and everything?

    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    An almost 3 year old is old enough to know better than to hit anyone/thing/animal. That's the parent's fault. My 2 year old nephew used to take us around and show us things he wasn't supposed to touch - he'd point at it and say 'no no". At one point my brother tried the "you're not their parent" cr@p when I disciplined my niece or nephew. So then I just started letting them do whatever they wanted to until I made my point. :)

    Uncle Panda
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The word 'parent' is also a verb.

    Miki
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some comments are funny. Ppl see there things the were not said. Like "yank the arm" or "held forcefully". God. Ppl are dumb. Imo she did it perfectly. Maybe she could also show the kid how to pet a dog.

    Robert Beveridge
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mom's complaining sister won't visit when OP is there? Don't threaten me with a good time.

    Tamra
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love pets and I love (most) kids, but there's NO WAY I'd sit back and watch a child mistreat or harass an animal. We taught our son *very* early on about respecting an animal's space, and about "gentle touch". It's important for the child's safety, and it's important for the animal's safety. Just be a d@mn parent. Sheesh.

    Kathy Brooke
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was so young I don't remember, I pestered my grandparent's dog. He bit me. The dog got put down for biting a child. But it was absolutely my fault, and I have carried that guilt since I first heard the story. I wish someone would have told me firmly to leave Wuff alone! An old dog, however soppy, can react. Teaching a child firmly "no" is good. As for whether her language was age appropriate? SHE'S NOT THE PARENT! She hasn't watched the child develop, doesn't have a degree in child development. She acted in the moment as the only (apparently) responsible adult in the room.

    The Other Guest
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It wasn't your fault. It was the fault of whoever was supposed to be watching you, for either failing to do so or watching but not stopping you. Also - a single bite, even to a child, usually will not result in a dog being put down (source: me, who was knocked down & bitten by the neighbor's dog when I was - well, not a child-child but definitely still a minor). I suspect Wuff had a history of biting or other aggressive behavior that no one has told you about.

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    Megan Dee
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    By the age of 2 1/2 my nephew would have understood this just fine, and would likely have been the one who ratted me out to my sister. The OP may have been cross but any dog owner would be if a child was trying to wack their dog in the head (plus sleeping dogs are more likely to react aggressively as their survival instinct would kick in. Even very gentle dogs could bite if grabbed or hit whilst sleeping) Saying “no we don’t hit, that’s mean” and “you wouldn’t like it if it did it to you” are perfectly acceptable things to say. The OP acted to protect her pet and her nephew so no, that’s not apology worthy. It does sound like she reacted in anger but I would be angry and worried too. No matter how sweet, loving or well trained our dogs are, they are still animals with natural instincts to defend themselves when threatened

    Bookworm
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP is NTA. Seems like this has resolved itself. Let sister continue throwing her temper tantrum and let your parents go visit her until your dog has passed. Let him spend his golden years in peace and calm. Good job creating a good doggie retirement home for him.

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unhinged YTA'ers, as usual. The kid smacked the dog. The End.

    Little Bit
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She did the right thing. No child is too young to learn boundaries or to be told off if their behaviour is unacceptable. The dog could easily have bitten the child and then what? All to often you see headlines in newspapers about children being attacked by dogs, and it is only when you read the articles in full do you learn that on a lof of occasions the child had been hitting, kicking, climbing on or pulling the dog about. A dog's natural instinct is to fight back when provoked or attacked. The parents should be teaching their child not to hit animals.

    on second thought....
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When parents don't parent they shouldn't whine when others step in!

    The_Nicest_Misanthrope
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope. If a kid hits my dog, there's gonna be WW3. Don't care how old it is.

    Beth Wheeler
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. She didn't do anything wrong. Daddy should have tried to stop the kid from hitting the dog. The kid is old enough to know that you don't hit pets and people. The dog could have bitten and seriously hurt the kid by being hit on the head while sleeping and reacting. Mommy needs to wake up and smell the reality that her sister possibly saved her kid from being hurt.

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just wait til sh*tty's sister's kid messed with the wrong dog and ends up on the business end of teeth, all because of mommy being "protective". If the pooch/kitty/what-have-you is snoozing, leave it alone or maybe just pat it lightly on the head and carry one. Sh*tty sister ought to have the coaster thrown point-blank at her face and see how it feels like. Who knows, it would probably teach her kid and important lesson as well -_-

    Bahama Mama
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The people commenting in this post is wild! I'm glad my Bored Panda peeps agree.

    jasper
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yah, NTA. My brother taught his kids when they were very little, to be "soft" with animals.

    Kristen Woehlke
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry, I don't give a rats a*s how old or young you are! You hit my dog, I'll hit back!!! Yeah, I'll get a down vote for this, but... Ohsie wellsie!

    Tamra
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If we're talking about adults, yeah, 100%. But little kids? Nope. I love dogs and cats more than I love most humans, and have literally ran into a burning building to save my cat. But hitting a small child is as bad as hitting an animal. Punching down isn't okay.

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    Laura MG
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I got a VERY chill cat when my daughter was less than 2yo and immediately taught her to be nice to kitty and she was, will all animals and later,other kids.

    Sera
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A two and a half year old child is perfectly capable of understanding concepts like “don’t hit the dog.” I successfully coached my barely three-year-old brother on how to behave to *temperament test* a brand-new dog and these people are acting like a nearly three year old has the comprehension skills of a six month old infant. As far as the grabbing - we literally grab little children to keep them out of danger all the time; there is NOTHING wrong with physically stopping a child from striking a dog, because that IS a dangerous situation. Failing to teach children how to behave properly around animals just because you believe that particular animal isn’t potentially dangerous sets the child up to behave inappropriately around animals that could be dangerous. It’s also a bad call to believe that any animal isn’t dangerous to begin with.

    Laura Slade
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The Dogs Trust have a plenty of age appropriate resources on their Be Dog Smart website to train children (and frankly their parents) to be safe around dogs. All the adults in the this scenario, especially the Dad who there, bear responsibility in allowing this to happen. Even a 12 year old dog could have inflicted a nasty bite!

    Jeena
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think you handled it perfectly fine. If the dog bit the kid everyone would be demanding him to be put down and no one would be apologizing to you for it either!! Too many people brush off s****y behaviour as “just a baby/kid”. They should thank you for saving that kid from getting his face bit off by an animal in the future as now he will KNOW it’s not okay to treat animals that way

    R De Backer
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP did the right thing. The parents should have been the ones to stop the child from being able to hit the dog or should immediately have told him off. They did not so luckily OP protected the dog and taught the child that hurting animals is not ok.

    Robin Lynn
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She was hung-over and impatient. First it was the dog got hit on the head and then it was in the face. There were many better choices to be made - starting with the father engaging with and watching his child. Apologize and stay in your room for the next few visits.

    Laure Miller
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dogs seem to know the difference between a kid hurting them accidentally or from ignorance versus a kid hurting them just to hurt them. As a baby, I would pull the dog's head down to me by hauling on his ears! That had to hurt! and he never did a thing because somehow he knew I meant no harm. He was a lot less patient with my brother, who was 3 years older than me.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a dog owner myself my kids were bought up around dogs , mostly rescue ones at that , having worked in rescue I kinda still do. in a way , they were taught from very young how to behave around them ! N I would much prefer op did this than the poor old dog wake up suddenly in fear and rip the kids face off !! And yes it happens all too often , the ones at fault here areTHE PARENTS for not watching their child around the poor old dog ! OP NTA

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A sleeping dog is extremely dangerous if you walk up to it and hit it with a hard object. FFS people, she wasn't heavy handed, she possibly saved that child from getting his face or hand ripped off when the kid was getting ready to hit him again. The parents and sister are completely out of line. And when it's time to move, take the dog with you, they're obviously bad parents who won't control their kid. The dog will unfortunately pay the price if it bites in self defense.

    David L
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can see where this is going, a child that hasn't been set boundaries early on is just going to get worse and this 'gentle' parenting is only going to set up the child for failure in later life. Preventing a child from hitting is not harmful.

    The Doom Song
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly I've done something similar with toddlers and my last dog. But instead of yanking the arm I'd hold it and help them pat him gently so they knew how they were supposed to pat the dog

    Pursuing Peonies
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think you missed where she explicitly didn't "yank" his arm. Not sure why people keep bringing up yanking.

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    Emilu
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I could sort of almost understand if the dog had done something to provoke the kid. But if the dog was just sleeping... nah. Unwarranted.

    Pursuing Peonies
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So, it's okay in your opinion for someone to come and hit you with something while you're sleeping because you're sleeping?

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    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The child is almost 3... when are we supposed to START teaching them "you don't hit animals/other children"? Wait until they're exactly 3 years old? (Re: the people who are upset at OP.) I'm fairly certain that children younger than 3 years old can have the foundations of "don't hit animals/other children/other people" laid down even if they cannot understand the "why" yet. We had a lovely Great Dane when I was a baby/toddler who was at my side every moment of my first few years. I - like any child - had learned zero social "rules" and am told I bonked her a few times with sticks (which she took in stride) and one time I apparently put quite a few clothespins on her ears and flews. I have a vague memory of my dad "explaining" to me that we do not hurt animals (no clue of his actual words, just remember the "feeling" of the talk.) He was calm and did not yell or hit me. I think young children absolutely CAN be taught not to hit animals/other people.

    Tyke
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Totally agree. I also don't see what's wrong with "how would you like it"... teaching them to think the consequences through.

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    Gabby M
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Slap your sister with the coaster.

    Littlemiss
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you don't teach your child right from wrong, someone else might. My husband points out to our son, I would rather you learn a lesson on how to modify innapropriate behavior by someone who loves you and cares and will do so in an appropriate manner. Because it's not going to be nice if someone who doesn't care replies in kind.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Agree , whilst mine where taught very early on cos they were bought up with dogs in the house , if they had done this else where n the owner did this I’d be fine cos the other outcome don’t bear thinking about does it

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    sturmwesen
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought it was common to take away stuff with which kids hit people pets or delicate stuff with? how else are they supposed to learn?are we supposed to let them hit everyone and everything?

    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    An almost 3 year old is old enough to know better than to hit anyone/thing/animal. That's the parent's fault. My 2 year old nephew used to take us around and show us things he wasn't supposed to touch - he'd point at it and say 'no no". At one point my brother tried the "you're not their parent" cr@p when I disciplined my niece or nephew. So then I just started letting them do whatever they wanted to until I made my point. :)

    Uncle Panda
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The word 'parent' is also a verb.

    Miki
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some comments are funny. Ppl see there things the were not said. Like "yank the arm" or "held forcefully". God. Ppl are dumb. Imo she did it perfectly. Maybe she could also show the kid how to pet a dog.

    Robert Beveridge
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mom's complaining sister won't visit when OP is there? Don't threaten me with a good time.

    Tamra
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love pets and I love (most) kids, but there's NO WAY I'd sit back and watch a child mistreat or harass an animal. We taught our son *very* early on about respecting an animal's space, and about "gentle touch". It's important for the child's safety, and it's important for the animal's safety. Just be a d@mn parent. Sheesh.

    Kathy Brooke
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was so young I don't remember, I pestered my grandparent's dog. He bit me. The dog got put down for biting a child. But it was absolutely my fault, and I have carried that guilt since I first heard the story. I wish someone would have told me firmly to leave Wuff alone! An old dog, however soppy, can react. Teaching a child firmly "no" is good. As for whether her language was age appropriate? SHE'S NOT THE PARENT! She hasn't watched the child develop, doesn't have a degree in child development. She acted in the moment as the only (apparently) responsible adult in the room.

    The Other Guest
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It wasn't your fault. It was the fault of whoever was supposed to be watching you, for either failing to do so or watching but not stopping you. Also - a single bite, even to a child, usually will not result in a dog being put down (source: me, who was knocked down & bitten by the neighbor's dog when I was - well, not a child-child but definitely still a minor). I suspect Wuff had a history of biting or other aggressive behavior that no one has told you about.

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    Megan Dee
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    By the age of 2 1/2 my nephew would have understood this just fine, and would likely have been the one who ratted me out to my sister. The OP may have been cross but any dog owner would be if a child was trying to wack their dog in the head (plus sleeping dogs are more likely to react aggressively as their survival instinct would kick in. Even very gentle dogs could bite if grabbed or hit whilst sleeping) Saying “no we don’t hit, that’s mean” and “you wouldn’t like it if it did it to you” are perfectly acceptable things to say. The OP acted to protect her pet and her nephew so no, that’s not apology worthy. It does sound like she reacted in anger but I would be angry and worried too. No matter how sweet, loving or well trained our dogs are, they are still animals with natural instincts to defend themselves when threatened

    Bookworm
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP is NTA. Seems like this has resolved itself. Let sister continue throwing her temper tantrum and let your parents go visit her until your dog has passed. Let him spend his golden years in peace and calm. Good job creating a good doggie retirement home for him.

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unhinged YTA'ers, as usual. The kid smacked the dog. The End.

    Little Bit
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She did the right thing. No child is too young to learn boundaries or to be told off if their behaviour is unacceptable. The dog could easily have bitten the child and then what? All to often you see headlines in newspapers about children being attacked by dogs, and it is only when you read the articles in full do you learn that on a lof of occasions the child had been hitting, kicking, climbing on or pulling the dog about. A dog's natural instinct is to fight back when provoked or attacked. The parents should be teaching their child not to hit animals.

    on second thought....
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When parents don't parent they shouldn't whine when others step in!

    The_Nicest_Misanthrope
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope. If a kid hits my dog, there's gonna be WW3. Don't care how old it is.

    Beth Wheeler
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. She didn't do anything wrong. Daddy should have tried to stop the kid from hitting the dog. The kid is old enough to know that you don't hit pets and people. The dog could have bitten and seriously hurt the kid by being hit on the head while sleeping and reacting. Mommy needs to wake up and smell the reality that her sister possibly saved her kid from being hurt.

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just wait til sh*tty's sister's kid messed with the wrong dog and ends up on the business end of teeth, all because of mommy being "protective". If the pooch/kitty/what-have-you is snoozing, leave it alone or maybe just pat it lightly on the head and carry one. Sh*tty sister ought to have the coaster thrown point-blank at her face and see how it feels like. Who knows, it would probably teach her kid and important lesson as well -_-

    Bahama Mama
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The people commenting in this post is wild! I'm glad my Bored Panda peeps agree.

    jasper
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yah, NTA. My brother taught his kids when they were very little, to be "soft" with animals.

    Kristen Woehlke
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry, I don't give a rats a*s how old or young you are! You hit my dog, I'll hit back!!! Yeah, I'll get a down vote for this, but... Ohsie wellsie!

    Tamra
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If we're talking about adults, yeah, 100%. But little kids? Nope. I love dogs and cats more than I love most humans, and have literally ran into a burning building to save my cat. But hitting a small child is as bad as hitting an animal. Punching down isn't okay.

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    Laura MG
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I got a VERY chill cat when my daughter was less than 2yo and immediately taught her to be nice to kitty and she was, will all animals and later,other kids.

    Sera
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A two and a half year old child is perfectly capable of understanding concepts like “don’t hit the dog.” I successfully coached my barely three-year-old brother on how to behave to *temperament test* a brand-new dog and these people are acting like a nearly three year old has the comprehension skills of a six month old infant. As far as the grabbing - we literally grab little children to keep them out of danger all the time; there is NOTHING wrong with physically stopping a child from striking a dog, because that IS a dangerous situation. Failing to teach children how to behave properly around animals just because you believe that particular animal isn’t potentially dangerous sets the child up to behave inappropriately around animals that could be dangerous. It’s also a bad call to believe that any animal isn’t dangerous to begin with.

    Laura Slade
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The Dogs Trust have a plenty of age appropriate resources on their Be Dog Smart website to train children (and frankly their parents) to be safe around dogs. All the adults in the this scenario, especially the Dad who there, bear responsibility in allowing this to happen. Even a 12 year old dog could have inflicted a nasty bite!

    Jeena
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think you handled it perfectly fine. If the dog bit the kid everyone would be demanding him to be put down and no one would be apologizing to you for it either!! Too many people brush off s****y behaviour as “just a baby/kid”. They should thank you for saving that kid from getting his face bit off by an animal in the future as now he will KNOW it’s not okay to treat animals that way

    R De Backer
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP did the right thing. The parents should have been the ones to stop the child from being able to hit the dog or should immediately have told him off. They did not so luckily OP protected the dog and taught the child that hurting animals is not ok.

    Robin Lynn
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She was hung-over and impatient. First it was the dog got hit on the head and then it was in the face. There were many better choices to be made - starting with the father engaging with and watching his child. Apologize and stay in your room for the next few visits.

    Laure Miller
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dogs seem to know the difference between a kid hurting them accidentally or from ignorance versus a kid hurting them just to hurt them. As a baby, I would pull the dog's head down to me by hauling on his ears! That had to hurt! and he never did a thing because somehow he knew I meant no harm. He was a lot less patient with my brother, who was 3 years older than me.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a dog owner myself my kids were bought up around dogs , mostly rescue ones at that , having worked in rescue I kinda still do. in a way , they were taught from very young how to behave around them ! N I would much prefer op did this than the poor old dog wake up suddenly in fear and rip the kids face off !! And yes it happens all too often , the ones at fault here areTHE PARENTS for not watching their child around the poor old dog ! OP NTA

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A sleeping dog is extremely dangerous if you walk up to it and hit it with a hard object. FFS people, she wasn't heavy handed, she possibly saved that child from getting his face or hand ripped off when the kid was getting ready to hit him again. The parents and sister are completely out of line. And when it's time to move, take the dog with you, they're obviously bad parents who won't control their kid. The dog will unfortunately pay the price if it bites in self defense.

    David L
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can see where this is going, a child that hasn't been set boundaries early on is just going to get worse and this 'gentle' parenting is only going to set up the child for failure in later life. Preventing a child from hitting is not harmful.

    The Doom Song
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly I've done something similar with toddlers and my last dog. But instead of yanking the arm I'd hold it and help them pat him gently so they knew how they were supposed to pat the dog

    Pursuing Peonies
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think you missed where she explicitly didn't "yank" his arm. Not sure why people keep bringing up yanking.

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    Emilu
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I could sort of almost understand if the dog had done something to provoke the kid. But if the dog was just sleeping... nah. Unwarranted.

    Pursuing Peonies
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So, it's okay in your opinion for someone to come and hit you with something while you're sleeping because you're sleeping?

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