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Roommates’ Existence Becomes A Problem As Entitled Guest Demands They “Leave” For Her Comfort
Young woman on phone in a train, thoughtfully considering asking roommates to leave while looking out the window.
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Roommates’ Existence Becomes A Problem As Entitled Guest Demands They “Leave” For Her Comfort

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Letting your friends crash at your place is no biggie if you have the space to spare. Thirty percent of Americans say they host overnight guests in their homes at least a few times a year. But there are good guests and bad guests.

This woman wanted to stay at her friend’s for a few nights, but the couch wasn’t good enough. She expected the friend’s roommates to give up a room so she could have “more privacy” and feel more comfortable. This situation became a cautionary tale in overestimating your friend’s hospitality by expecting them to bend over backwards.

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    A woman agreed to let her friend crash at her place for a few nights

    Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)

    But the friend expected one of her roommates to give up their room for her

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    Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    Houseguests should adapt to their host’s house rules and circumstances

    Image credits: pexels (not the actual photo)

    Friendship means helping each other out in a time of need, and hosting a pal overnight is not such a big deal. In fact, most Americans say they like (41%) or even love (20%) having overnight guests, such as friends or family, according to a YouGov poll.

    But there is another side to the coin of letting people crash at your place. When Joybird asked Americans who the worst houseguests are, 26% said it’s usually their friends. The three biggest sins they commit are:

    • Being messy;
    • Not helping to clean up;
    • And being rude to the host, family, or roommates.

    The friend in this story hasn’t even arrived at her friend’s apartment, but is dictating her rules and disrespecting the friend’s roommates. A house guest, according to certified etiquette trainer Mariah Grumet Humbert, should be flexible.

    “Remember that you are entering someone else’s space,” she emphasizes. “They may do things differently in their home than you do in yours. You don’t have to compromise your needs, of course, but be mindful of respecting the way your host and their family function inside the comfort of their own home.”

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    In the end, the host is doing their friend a favor. If the conditions of the stay are not satisfactory, a person can always stay at a hotel. Comfort and privacy will be guaranteed!

    A guest should make themselves almost invisible and cause as little inconvenience as possible

    Image credits: pexels (not the actual photo)

    Hotels or Airbnbs are not always an option for people. Staying at your friend’s can be a great way to save money, but you’ll have to keep in mind that you might need to sacrifice some things. For example, privacy and comfort were so important to the lady in this story.

    Travel reporter and founder of the Map Happy blog Erica Ho has some advice and rules for couch surfers.

    • Be as inconspicuous as possible. When you’re crashing on somebody’s couch, you want to make yourself almost invisible. That’s why leaving around dirty dishes and just a general mess is not just inconsiderate, but, frankly, rude.
    • Clean up after yourself. That includes the already-mentioned dishes as well as sheets. When your friend doesn’t have a guest room or a separate bed, you’re most likely sleeping in a common area. Tidying up the sheets every day so other people can sit on the couch is something a considerate guest would do.
    • No extra guests are allowed. Just because a friend lets you stay at their place for free for a few days doesn’t mean you can start bringing your friends—or worse, dates who would be spending the night. Respect all the people who live there and their homes, not just your friend,, the host.
    • Say “Thank you,” and we don’t mean just verbally. Contribute something while you’re staying at your friend’s place, be it making dinner, baking a “Thank you” pie for all the roommates, or even ordering pizza. Just show you appreciate the help.
    • Don’t overstay your welcome. Most people say there’s a three-day rule, which is how long you usually crash with friends for free. But Ho has a different kind of metric: one you get asked about contributing to utilities, know it’s your sign to leave.

    People in the comments called out the entitled friend: “With friends like these…”

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    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

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    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

    Rugile Baltrunaite

    Rugile Baltrunaite

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

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    Rugile Baltrunaite

    Rugile Baltrunaite

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

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    Beth Wheeler
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I completely agree. If somebody showed up at my house and started that c**p they wouldn't even get to finish the list of demands before I let my 80 and 100 lb dogs jump all over them and kicked them out!

    Load More Replies...
    karen snyder
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I lived with 2-3 rotating housemates in a flat, in San Francisco for 23 years. Only once did one of them ask me to leave so her friend from college could have privacy while she visited. I pretended I didn't understand the request and made her explain it until she realized how ridiculous the idea was.

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had similar, a roomie from the past was coming to London and wanted to crash at my house - her and her husband, said couldn't as my brother had taken up the couch for 6 months before going back to Saffa. Was annoyed that I couldn't do her this favour - told her it was two people in our lounge and my housemates needed consideration. Never heard from her again.

    Load More Comments
    Beth Wheeler
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I completely agree. If somebody showed up at my house and started that c**p they wouldn't even get to finish the list of demands before I let my 80 and 100 lb dogs jump all over them and kicked them out!

    Load More Replies...
    karen snyder
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I lived with 2-3 rotating housemates in a flat, in San Francisco for 23 years. Only once did one of them ask me to leave so her friend from college could have privacy while she visited. I pretended I didn't understand the request and made her explain it until she realized how ridiculous the idea was.

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had similar, a roomie from the past was coming to London and wanted to crash at my house - her and her husband, said couldn't as my brother had taken up the couch for 6 months before going back to Saffa. Was annoyed that I couldn't do her this favour - told her it was two people in our lounge and my housemates needed consideration. Never heard from her again.

    Load More Comments
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