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“You Sound Insufferable”: Introvert Dislikes Coworkers Getting Them B-Day Cake, Throws It In Trash
When it comes to birthdays, not everyone appreciates the fanfare. It can be overwhelming for introverts who don’t want to be the center of attention. The problem then becomes the other people who can’t seem to take no for an answer.
This is what one person faced when their coworker kept getting them a cake and making their birthday a big deal despite being told not to. This caused them a lot of frustration, and it ended with them being called ungrateful for simply trying to set boundaries.
More info: Reddit
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Office birthday parties are often such a big deal that people push to celebrate them even if the birthday person doesn’t want to
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The administrator at the poster’s workplace usually got a cake for people’s birthdays, but since they were an introvert, they asked that it not be done
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The administrator ignored the poster’s request to keep their birthday low-key and got a cake for them twice, which made the employee feel irked
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The third time, the employee got tricked into being a part of their birthday celebration, and they tried to get out of it, but to no avail
Image credits: Sensitive-Prior-3192
The worker was called “ungrateful” for disliking the administrator’s nice gesture, even though they felt like their boundaries had been violated
It’s often very tricky for introverts in the workplace to be themselves because there are usually many social obligations to follow. Birthdays are a big one, where everyone is expected to be excited and enthusiastic. As the OP mentioned, they wanted their special day to be low-key and were definitely not interested in celebrating it publicly.
Unfortunately for them, their office administrator loved getting every person a birthday cake and making their big day a huge deal. Celebrating these special events is definitely a good way to create team bonding and boost morale, but they should only be done with the explicit consent of the main individual.
The poster had made it abundantly clear that they didn’t eat cake and didn’t want any kind of fanfare. When their wishes were disregarded, they felt hurt and annoyed by the entire process, but didn’t know how to deal with the situation.
What most people don’t understand is that introverted people are not antisocial; they just need time to recharge in their own space. They may not enjoy big events and might prefer to spend time with just a few people. It’s important for folks in the workplace to make allowances for all types of personalities and adjust their expectations accordingly.
Image credits: note thanun / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
For a while, it seemed like the administrator was respecting the poster’s wishes, but suddenly, she tricked the OP into celebrating yet another birthday at work. This was the last straw, and the poster ended up throwing their cake in the trash. They couldn’t fathom why the other folks were not respecting their wishes.
Most people misunderstand why some individuals don’t want to celebrate their birthdays. They feel like the other person is being modest and doesn’t want a fuss made about them. The reality is often that they might have negative associations toward their special day, and they don’t want to be reminded of those feelings.
No matter how fun or exciting it might be to celebrate a birthday with a large group of people, it’s important to first ask the birthday person if they want that. If they’ve made their boundaries clear, then throwing them a surprise party is definitely not the way to go. It’s exactly what made the OP feel so uncomfortable.
Netizens told the poster to be clearer with the administrator about their boundaries so that this kind of behavior never happened again. It definitely sounds like it’s difficult to deal with such an overly enthusiastic person. Hopefully, clear lines are drawn so that this never happens again.
Do you side with the OP or the administrator in this story? Let us know your honest thoughts in the comments below.
Folks were divided on the issue, with some understanding the poster’s feelings and others feeling like they were being rude
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What do you think ?
panther 4 months ago
I have taken my birthday off for the last 36 years, on top of not telling people what day it is. The place I am working at now has screen up showing different things employees of the month, how many years people have worked there, and employee birthdays, I made it a point to tell the HR person I didn't want mine posted. Fortunately he said no problem and didn't post it.
tori Ohno 4 months ago
The problem with not telling people the date, is that pushy secretaries get into the files and look it up. It's not legal in my area, but they do it anyway. A simple b'day card is all that's needed. No embarrassing songs, no food, no cake. It's a place of employment, not a pub.
Load More Replies...
marcelo D. 4 months ago
eh, he is both. The a******s are both the administrator and the asistant administrator that told him someone "made a nice gesture". To that person I would tell to f**k off, If someone tells you literally and specifically they don't want something, adn then you do it, it's not a nice gesture, it's disrespect
sweet emotion 4 months ago
I was over 40 AND over office birthdays (hate the attention, hate the "jokes", and I'm not too fond of a stale half-sheet cake from Sams, either) when I started with my current employer, but I've gone through several managers and each one insisted on ignoring my clearly expressed distaste for cake-and-disruption. I even quietly asked one admin to remove my name and date of birth from the "official birthday list".....but my manager at that time remembered my birthday is in May so she looked the date up in my permanent record and brought the damned cake in anyway. The final solution is that for the last seven years I have taken vacation for the entire week surrounding that date.
panther 4 months ago
I have taken my birthday off for the last 36 years, on top of not telling people what day it is. The place I am working at now has screen up showing different things employees of the month, how many years people have worked there, and employee birthdays, I made it a point to tell the HR person I didn't want mine posted. Fortunately he said no problem and didn't post it.
tori Ohno 4 months ago
The problem with not telling people the date, is that pushy secretaries get into the files and look it up. It's not legal in my area, but they do it anyway. A simple b'day card is all that's needed. No embarrassing songs, no food, no cake. It's a place of employment, not a pub.
Load More Replies... marcelo D. 4 months ago
eh, he is both. The a******s are both the administrator and the asistant administrator that told him someone "made a nice gesture". To that person I would tell to f**k off, If someone tells you literally and specifically they don't want something, adn then you do it, it's not a nice gesture, it's disrespect
sweet emotion 4 months ago
I was over 40 AND over office birthdays (hate the attention, hate the "jokes", and I'm not too fond of a stale half-sheet cake from Sams, either) when I started with my current employer, but I've gone through several managers and each one insisted on ignoring my clearly expressed distaste for cake-and-disruption. I even quietly asked one admin to remove my name and date of birth from the "official birthday list".....but my manager at that time remembered my birthday is in May so she looked the date up in my permanent record and brought the damned cake in anyway. The final solution is that for the last seven years I have taken vacation for the entire week surrounding that date.
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