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Am I Ta?
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156views
So I got the recommendation to re-write this post in my POV, so here we go.
I (14f) kind of gave my parents (43m and 40f) the cold shoulder. There were 2 events leading up to this. Firstly, I was excited that I finally graduated 8th so I was talking about how happy I was to graduate, but how scared I was to go into ninth. I don’t know if I mentioned it one too many times, but my dad just blew me off at one point saying, “8th grade grad isn’t such a big deal, stop talking about it so much.” I then got mad at him so I gave him the silent treatment. He then grabbed onto my arm and he said he wouldn’t let go until I told him I wasn’t mad at him. In return, I yelled at him to stop being stupid and to drive with both hands. I acted cold towards my parents for the whole night because both of them invalidated my feelings on my 8th grade graduation. Later that night, my dad came into my room and was like, “This isn’t something you should be this angry for, but I’m sorry if I hurt you.” I don’t know the apology felt cold and empty to me. Okay, now onto the second situation. My dad had to get some storage boxes to organize things at our house. It was crazy hot outside and I reminded him to turn on the A.C multiple times. I know he didn’t keep it off intentionally, my dad would never do that. I was sweating, irritated, and in a bad mood. So I sarcastically/slightly angrily said, “Omg it’s literally illegal to keep animals in the car without the A.C on, and your leaving human beings in here like this.” He got mad at me saying I was being disrespectful over the past few days. (Event #1) When I started crying, he said I didn’t have the right to be sad, and that he should be the sad one because I was mean to him. My mom also agrees with him. I genuinely didn’t think I was that mean, and I really don’t know if I’ve been TA. So I would really love a second opinion, thank you for reading all of this.
RELATED:
So I got the recommendation to re-write this post in my POV, so here we go.
I (14f) kind of gave my parents (43m and 40f) the cold shoulder. There were 2 events leading up to this. Firstly, I was excited that I finally graduated 8th so I was talking about how happy I was to graduate, but how scared I was to go into ninth. I don’t know if I mentioned it one too many times, but my dad just blew me off at one point saying, “8th grade grad isn’t such a big deal, stop talking about it so much.” I then got mad at him so I gave him the silent treatment. He then grabbed onto my arm and he said he wouldn’t let go until I told him I wasn’t mad at him. In return, I yelled at him to stop being stupid and to drive with both hands. I acted cold towards my parents for the whole night because both of them invalidated my feelings on my 8th grade graduation. Later that night, my dad came into my room and was like, “This isn’t something you should be this angry for, but I’m sorry if I hurt you.” I don’t know the apology felt cold and empty to me. Okay, now onto the second situation. My dad had to get some storage boxes to organize things at our house. It was crazy hot outside and I reminded him to turn on the A.C multiple times. I know he didn’t keep it off intentionally, my dad would never do that. I was sweating, irritated, and in a bad mood. So I sarcastically/slightly angrily said, “Omg it’s literally illegal to keep animals in the car without the A.C on, and your leaving human beings in here like this.” He got mad at me saying I was being disrespectful over the past few days. (Event #1) When I started crying, he said I didn’t have the right to be sad, and that he should be the sad one because I was mean to him. My mom also agrees with him. I genuinely didn’t think I was that mean, and I really don’t know if I’ve been TA. So I would really love a second opinion, thank you for reading all of this.
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What do you think ?
Malfar 2 years ago (edited)
ESH. In my experience, stories from teenagers should be taken with a grain of salt. Graduating from 8th grade isn't a big deal really, and dad might have gotten tired of his daughter talking his ear off. Still, WTF with the arm grabbing and "I won't let you go until you say you aren't mad", while driving, too? As for situation 2, why not turn on the AC on your own? Why cry? WTF with "you don't have the right to be sad?" I think maybe, just maybe the parents see the situation differently. The teenagers tend to add unnecessary drama and sometimes omit uncomfortable details that would put them in the bad light.
Selena Morales (Post author) 2 years ago
I'm a very non-confrontational person, so I started crying when I got yelled at.
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Lakota Wolf (she/her) 2 years ago
Are you the kid or the father, or are you just lying in both posts? https://www.boredpanda.com/aita-for-yelling-at-my-daughter/ You are LYING in one of these posts, as you CANNOT speak from someone else's perspective.
Selena Morales (Post author) 2 years ago
That is very correct, someone on the other post commented that it would be more valid and correct to speak from my POV, and not my dad's. So I decided to post this again but from my POV, I can't figure out how to delete the other post though.
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Squirrelly Panda 2 years ago
ESH. But this is a rough time in OP life for everyone involved. The parents should remember it and not take the teens emotional outbursts personally while not invalidating the emotions. Unfortunately dad failed on both fronts, took things personally while invalidating by saying she didn't have the right to be sad. However, giving the silent treatment and the cold shoulder is not a good response either. The OP knows her parents best, but maybe take a time when both parents are calm and tell them you want to talk seriously about some of the issues that you and your parents have with each other. The challenge is to not be emotional during this conversation because the parents, without meaning to, will trigger the teen. Op should take notes outlining things that hurt her as well as things she could have done better. The purpose is to have a conversation about how everyone can do better without laying blame.
Selena Morales (Post author) 2 years ago
I've honestly given up on trying to communicate with them these days. They end up getting mad, so I get mad. It just makes everything a bigger deal then it has to be. I just evaluate my mistakes personally these days.
Load More Replies... Malfar 2 years ago (edited)
ESH. In my experience, stories from teenagers should be taken with a grain of salt. Graduating from 8th grade isn't a big deal really, and dad might have gotten tired of his daughter talking his ear off. Still, WTF with the arm grabbing and "I won't let you go until you say you aren't mad", while driving, too? As for situation 2, why not turn on the AC on your own? Why cry? WTF with "you don't have the right to be sad?" I think maybe, just maybe the parents see the situation differently. The teenagers tend to add unnecessary drama and sometimes omit uncomfortable details that would put them in the bad light.
Selena Morales (Post author) 2 years ago
I'm a very non-confrontational person, so I started crying when I got yelled at.
Load More Replies... Lakota Wolf (she/her) 2 years ago
Are you the kid or the father, or are you just lying in both posts? https://www.boredpanda.com/aita-for-yelling-at-my-daughter/ You are LYING in one of these posts, as you CANNOT speak from someone else's perspective.
Selena Morales (Post author) 2 years ago
That is very correct, someone on the other post commented that it would be more valid and correct to speak from my POV, and not my dad's. So I decided to post this again but from my POV, I can't figure out how to delete the other post though.
Load More Replies... Squirrelly Panda 2 years ago
ESH. But this is a rough time in OP life for everyone involved. The parents should remember it and not take the teens emotional outbursts personally while not invalidating the emotions. Unfortunately dad failed on both fronts, took things personally while invalidating by saying she didn't have the right to be sad. However, giving the silent treatment and the cold shoulder is not a good response either. The OP knows her parents best, but maybe take a time when both parents are calm and tell them you want to talk seriously about some of the issues that you and your parents have with each other. The challenge is to not be emotional during this conversation because the parents, without meaning to, will trigger the teen. Op should take notes outlining things that hurt her as well as things she could have done better. The purpose is to have a conversation about how everyone can do better without laying blame.
Selena Morales (Post author) 2 years ago
I've honestly given up on trying to communicate with them these days. They end up getting mad, so I get mad. It just makes everything a bigger deal then it has to be. I just evaluate my mistakes personally these days.
Load More Replies...
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