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Hey Pandas, AITA For Not Letting My Sister’s Dog Attend My Wedding?
Hey Pandas, AITA For Not Letting My Sister’s Dog Attend My Wedding?
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Hey Pandas, AITA For Not Letting My Sister’s Dog Attend My Wedding?

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Moderator’s note:

If you find yourself disagreeing with this person’s actions, we encourage you not to downvote the post. Instead, kindly express your opinions in the comments. We recommend maintaining politeness and articulating your thoughts with well-constructed arguments.

Authors note: This is a close friend’s story, and not mine. Please be respectful.

I (28F) am getting married in a few months to my wonderful fiancé, Tom (30M). We’ve been planning this wedding for over a year, and I want everything to be perfect. My sister, Emily (26F), has a dog named Max, whom she adores. Max is a small, energetic terrier who goes everywhere with her.

When we sent out the invitations, we made it clear that the wedding would be a pet-free event. This decision was made because our venue has a strict no-pets policy, and frankly, I want the day to be focused on us and our special moments without any distractions.

RELATED:

    Emily called me the day she received the invitation and asked if she could bring Max

    Image credits: Giorgio Trovato (not the actual photo)

    She said that Max is like her child and that she can’t bear to leave him alone for a whole day. She even offered to keep him in a pet carrier during the ceremony and promised he wouldn’t be a bother.

    I explained to her the venue’s policy and reiterated that we want a pet-free wedding

    Image credits: Lanty (not the actual photo)

    She got very upset and accused me of not understanding how important Max is to her. She argued that if we truly valued her presence, we would make an exception. I suggested she find a pet sitter for the day, but she said she doesn’t trust anyone else with Max.

    Emily then went to our parents, who are now pressuring me to make an exception for her. They argue that it’s a small request and that family is more important than rules. Tom is supportive of my decision and believes we should stick to our original plan.

    Now, Emily is threatening not to come to the wedding if Max isn’t allowed, which has left me feeling incredibly guilty

    Image credits: Luis Tosta (not the actual photo)

    I don’t want to cause a rift in our family, but I also don’t want to compromise on something we’ve planned so carefully.

    AITA for standing my ground and not allowing my sister to bring her dog to my wedding?

    Moderator’s note:

    Please note that the images included in this article are for illustrative purposes only and do not represent the actual individuals or items discussed in the story.

    If you have a comparable experience or story you’d like to tell, we welcome your submissions. Click here to share your story with Bored Panda.

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    Seo-Yeon

    Seo-Yeon

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    Born in Boseong-gun, South Korea, and moved in Madison, Wisconsin when I was 15. I am currently living in a Korean neighborhood in California.

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    Seo-Yeon

    Seo-Yeon

    Author, Community member

    Born in Boseong-gun, South Korea, and moved in Madison, Wisconsin when I was 15. I am currently living in a Korean neighborhood in California.

    Gabrielė Malukaitė

    Gabrielė Malukaitė

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    Hi there! I'm Gabrielė. Professionally, I'm the senior community manager over at Bored Panda, helping people share their awesome work and connecting artists with a worldwide audience.Beyond work, you'll catch me traveling, listening to vinyl and diving into movies, art exhibitions, and concerts. I'm a culture buff at heart, always eager to explore and embrace the richness of the human experience.

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    Gabrielė Malukaitė

    Gabrielė Malukaitė

    Moderator, Community member

    Hi there! I'm Gabrielė. Professionally, I'm the senior community manager over at Bored Panda, helping people share their awesome work and connecting artists with a worldwide audience.Beyond work, you'll catch me traveling, listening to vinyl and diving into movies, art exhibitions, and concerts. I'm a culture buff at heart, always eager to explore and embrace the richness of the human experience.

    What do you think ?
    Libstak
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it was a special needs or service dog, i could understand but nobody brings their pet to a wedding and it would be an oddity that would cause disruption, even in a carrier, terriers are little barkers for bonkers reasons. I doubt she would leave it in the carrier if it fretted by the way, she is OTT and will increase the level of exceptions for the dog as the day proceeds maybe hoping you will be too busy to notice. Also, no pet venue means you risk the venue cancelling you on the day if she tries to sneak the dog in. She is old enough to understand but chooses not to, NTA.

    Justin Smith
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean some people getting married do have their pets at or in rhe wedding, but someone who isnt the bride or groom shouldnt be bringing their pet to the wedding.

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    Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Its a pet-free venue. You cannot make an exception. If she shows up with the dog, the venue will either ask her to leave or add an extra fee.

    Estelle E.
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. Stand your ground. It's the first time I heard people wanting to bring their pets to a wedding. It would be different if Max were a service dog, which he isn't. By the venue being pet free, allergic people could expect it to be safe for them. They are not safe anymore if a dog is here, even in a bag (what does you sister expects for the dog to pee and s**t in a venue welcoming a wedding ?

    ThisIsMe
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am wildly attached to my pets, and it would never ever occur to me to take one to a wedding. Not to mention the fact that they would NOT want to go and be cooped up all day!

    MrsFettesVette
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    AND you want to enjoy the day, not spend it looking after your dog. My dog is my baby and we were actually told that the venue owner would be fine with us including our dog in our wedding, but we just didn't think it would be the best thing for her. It would never occur to me to bring my dog to someone else's wedding!

    Load More Replies...
    Trillian
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    WHO brings pets to a wedding??? (Unless it's a trained service animal)).

    Marlowe Fitzpatrik
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *raises hand* But, to clarify: it was agreed beforehand with groom and bride, the venue was pet-friendly and it was not a classical large party in a hotel-ballroom full of people in shiny clothes. My brother and his wife rented a house (two, actually) for 3 days with a large garden and a lot of open spaces where everyone could mingle and just decide what they wanted to do. We sat in the sun in the garden and talked, ate, drank, petted the dogs, played again, talked a lot more ... It was just a lovely gettogether with 30 people so family could meet friends and actually get to know each other. Best wedding I have ever attended. That said - it was still not the first wedding where people brought dogs. We also brought our dogs to a funeral (obviously with permission and not to the actual lowering of the casket!!) *shrugs* We could get someone to dogsit, but if it's not necessary, our dogs are well-behaved enough to not be a huge issue. Still - to the original question: it is HER wedding.

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    Scrupulous Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA My very small, well behaved, hypoallergenic toy poodle travels everywhere with me. She even has a service animal certificate. She has flown on 12 hour flights, been to the theatre, and even religious ceremonies. However, I decided early on when I adopted her that It was important for HER wellbeing that she was comfortable staying with a pet sitter. I imagined how much better it would be for HER if I ever were hospitalised or had a situation that we needed to be apart to feel safe without me for periods of time. If a family member were getting married and asked that I leaver her with a sitter I would do it without hesitation. I would probably stay for the ceremony and meal and then go home when the dancing began with no hard feelings. I would do the same if it were my child or baby.

    Melissa anderson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There’s something wrong with that woman if she can’t leave her little dog alone for a few hours. She needs major therapy.

    Historyharlot93
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “Family is more important than rules” How often has OP been told that sister must get her way in everything? Sister is definitely the Golden Child in this family.

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    A S Mora
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA Break the cycle of appeasing your sister. Your wedding, your rules.

    James016
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    100% NTA, it's not just your preference, it's the venue's rules. It's not that hard to understand. I would not want a pet at my wedding either.

    Seedy Vine
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP's sister is choosing a dog over her own sister... on her wedding day?! OP you are not TA here! And shame on your enabling parents!

    Matteic
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. It's a dog. Also, terriers are very active breeds and being stuck in a carrier for all day would suck for him. Stand your ground.

    dayngerkat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Having to specify "no pets" at a wedding is ridiculous. Sister is an AH. You're choosing your dog over your sister's wedding. AH AH AH. Parents are AH too

    K. LNU
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. I so dislike when people say "If you loved me, you'd..." I think you should tell your sister that if she loved you... she'd come sans dog. It is your and your husband-to-be wedding and you have the say about your day. I get that you hate that your sister may not be there, but nothing to feel guilty over. I'd honestly ask the venue what would be the charge if someone were to bring their dog (not a service dog). Then tell Emily that she needs to pay the venue that amount (it won't be cheap - depending on where you are having it.) I love my dog, but she is also perfectly capable of staying at home, by herself for a few hours. I usually don't stay longer if I don't have someone to check in on her, but I'd WANT to attend my sister's wedding. Nothing to feel guilty about; it that she is putting a guilt trip on you.

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also, only read to see if this was a service dog, it's not.

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    ginshun
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. Your wedding your rules. I have pets and love them to death. That said its strange and weird to be so attached that you can't bare to spend a whole day away from your dog to go to your sister's wedding.

    Heffalump
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Emily needs to grow up. This has nothing whatever to do with how she can't bear to be apart from her dog. It has to do with her needing to have you demonstrate her importance by making an exception for her. Tell your parents they need to butt out: the venue says no and it's too late to change, even if you wanted to, but you shouldn't, and they need to recognize that you are not causing the problem here, it's your sister.

    Kimmi Patterson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're NTA. Stand your ground. The sister sounds like a brat and the parents are enablers. They'll all get over it. If their day is ruined because Max isn't there, oh well, yours won't be, and you're the one who matters on YOUR DAY.

    JK
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA - 100,000,000 NTA. The venue had rules. So your parents are ok with the venue potentially kicking you out mid-ceremony when they find out? (Because they *will* find out - if not before, then after, and then you could be looking at a huge bill). I have dogs, always have, and I love them to pieces, but they do not go *everywhere* with me. Nor would I try to take them someplace where they are clearly *not allowed*. The sense of entitlement with your sister is through the roof. So she expects *you* to cater to *her* wants (Id say "and needs", but no one, except those with service animals, *need* their *pet* with them) but she cant possibly put you and your needs/wants first on (hopefully) you're only singular wedding day??? No, and if your parents support her then we know where she got that entitlement from. It isnt easy living in the shadow of a golden child, but you do not need to keep making allowances for it. Let her stay home with her pet, go stand in the sun with your partner 💜

    PrettyJoyBird
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She threatens to not attend her own sisters wedding if her dog cant attend. Regardless of venues policy or if dog might be emotional support animal shes basically saying she values her pets life over her own sisters. Nah she can stay home with dog.

    Mark Alexander
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You want to know how attached to my boys I am? I don't fly. I don't take trains. I don't take cruises. I bought a mother-barking RV. My precious peppers can go anywhere, park, and I can fire up the generator, spread out the water, tell them we'll be back soon and have fun. We can check on them every hour if we want. The hosts don't have to know or care because my precious babies are not their problem. Too expensive? Put a solar powered A/C in your car. (You probably don't have 3 anyway 😉)

    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sister needs psychiatric help. That's ridiculous. How does she work? Or shop? Or do literally anything else where animals aren't allowed? I'd be fine with her not coming to my wedding - she sounds like a nutjob!

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If this were a service dog, allow her to bring him. But it sounds to me like it's just a pet. She can stay home with him in that case.

    George Costanza
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The ONLY people that can have a pet at a wedding are the couple getting married. A service dog is not a pet, and should be allowed if medically necessary. That's it. No other pets. Zero tolerance.

    CanadianDimes
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The venue is pet-free. It doesn't matter if it's also your rule that there are no pets at the wedding. The venue says no, so it's no.

    Christos Arvanitis
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel bad for the dog. If she never leaves max alone, then he likely has anxiety issues if left alone. The sister likely also has some issues that she needs to deal with because you can't bring your dog everywhere! Dog parent and dog lover here btw...

    Val Carriere
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've been to weddings where they have their pets in the wedding party ,but they had someone who looked after them after the service. It's too stressful for the animals .

    Janice
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a service dog (not support), a 15 lb Shih Tzu, that I bring everywhere with me, but I keep him in a stroller (made for dogs, but its large, like the size for a baby). He is silent while in his stroller and people don't know he's even there until someone (always) points and announces it. My dog does NOT alert me to take meds or when I'm going to fall/faint or have a seizure. If he did, I wouldn't even ask - I think of service animals to be the same as wheelchairs, in terms of handicap rights. As much as I can relate to the sister and her wanting and/or needing Max, unless Max is a legit service dog, OP is absolutely right to stand her ground. There is no reason why the dog needs to be there.

    Jeevesssssss
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh my f*****g days. 1) She might think Max is like her child but he isn't. She says she'll put him in a carrier for the ceremony but how will he cope with that?? Is that fair on him?? It's a highly restrictive and stressful environment and should only be used when necessary (I say this as someone who leaves their carrier out and whose cat uses it occasionally as a place to nap. Once you shut the door and the choice to leave is removed it's a wholly different environment for them.) 2) Plenty of people have CHILD-free weddings. I've actually never seen a pet-free wedding specified because I haven't known anyone stupid enough to think pets were appropriate... but having a child-free wedding is perfectly acceptable. In which case your friend can suck rocks twice over.

    Inés Olabarria Smith
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don’t doubt yourself. You’re in the right.

    Vinnie
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Emily has several months to find a dog sitter and get Max used to them. Max is likely to have a better time with the sitter than being in a crate. As for "Max is like her child and that she can’t bear to leave him alone for a whole day" - people leave children with sitters or relatives all the time while they go out or go on trips.

    Mike F
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Many of us, myself included, are kind of doing an overlay of our own situation and/or experience because that's how we identify with the situation. If we step back a bit and look from the perspective of the bride/groom it's pretty cut and dried, the venue doesn't permit animals. All of the howling and caterwauling won't change that fact. The parents want the couple to give in so sister stops her campaign rather than perhaps brainstorming a solution. It sounds as though sister is pretty self centered and absolutely accustomed to getting her way by hook or by crook so it may be necessary to just let her know that if she insists on bringing her dog, if it's THAT necessary, then perhaps she should remain at home, with her dog. A wedding is not a place for a pet.

    Skylar Jaxx
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I understand I love my toy mini schnauzer and she goes where I go but a wedding is not one of those places she would go.

    Beth Wheeler
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They don't want dogs there and the venue doesn't allow pets. The bratty sister needs to get over herself and leave the dog at home. What does she do with it while working if she doesn't work from home? I work from home and my dog gets left alone a couple times a week for 3-4 hours. The cat wants nothing to do with him but he can see her through an extra tall baby/pet gate. I also play dog anxiety music for him and can watch him on the security cameras and talk to him if needed.

    Brian Droste
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She knew way in advance that this was a no pet venue. She should have made provision with her dog to be taken care of instead of requesting if she could bring her dog with her. I agree with other commenter that if it was a service dog that would be a different story. Since it is not, a big NO for me.

    jjdubs W
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why is this even a question?

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actual children get left with babysitters. Dogs can be left with sitters too. Unless it's a trained service animal, you don't get to take it to pet-free venues.

    LaDonna
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I also have a dog I adore and would love to take him everywhere with me, but the venue has rules for a reason. If he were a service dog I would understand. But it’s not reasonable to expect to bring your pet everywhere you go.

    Roberta Surprenant
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I tend to take my dog EVERYWHERE, but if someone says "no dogs", he doesn't go.

    Arlene Harris
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the venue is pet free, period. No other reasons need be given. If she shows up with the pet, the VENUE will remove her. It's out of your hands. The fact that you don't want the dog there is actually immaterial. The venue says no, and they can toss the whole wedding out if they wanted to (not that they'd want to, but they could legally and morally be right to do so). Time to get a chisel and hammer and get it through her thick skull that this is a non option.

    Steve Hall
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It sounds like sister needs professional help.

    Karina
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Its not a choice, because the place wont allow it. So what are the parents even talking about " making an exception"?

    Baali Venomax
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not just her that is barring the dog though, it's also the venue and she could get in trouble with the owner of the venue, if she bends the rules for her sister. If Emily cannot be parted then maybe she could be there on remote? Something set up so she can see what's going on, like they did during the pandemic while staying with her beloved dog and no one gets in trouble or is left out?

    ConstantlyJon
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who TF brings their dog to a wedding? Like, besides a service dog I have NEVER seen a dog at a wedding before. Is that a thing? Do people do this?

    Hannah Taylor
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know that there are couples who will have their dog be the ring bearer at their ceremony. However, the dog is well-behaved and mature enough to follow commands. Emily just wants to bring her dog because....she wants to. I would love to have a front-row seat at the tantrum she no doubt will throw.

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    Marlowe Fitzpatrik
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA We took our dogs to my brother's wedding - with permission and happy permission, too! - and it was wonderful and everyone was happy with the dogs and the dogs where happy lying in the sun and getting petted whenever they wanted. (the big guy was not happy he didn't get access to the buffet, but - duh!) But that was my brother's wedding and if he'd said "no dogs", we'd have found a solution. In this case, it's HER wedding and if she doesn't want the dog there - more even, the venue doesn'T allow them! - it's her decision. So if sister won't come... well, I guess you have to party without her. I can understand if she can'T leave the dog alone, but well... Her loss.

    Mr. Jones
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People think they can bring pets to a wedding? WTF? I don't even like kids at a wedding.

    Abby Bristow
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your sister is making your wedding about her you'll be much better off of she doesn't come at all because you know she's going to sulk and tell anyone who will listen how terrible you are for following the rules of the f*****g venue. Your sister is the worst. You are in no way an a*****e your sister and parents are though.

    Krystal Quigley
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    1. People shouldn't make pets go places they will be miserable. 2. A wedding is supposed to be about the two getting married. No one else should be able to make demands. Even at a less formal event, if the host says no pets, then respect that.

    Papa
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    First, saying "I want my wedding to be perfect" is setting herself up for disappointment. Something will always go wrong. Roll with it and don't let it spoil the day. Now that I have that out of the way, she is absolutely justified in not wanting her sister to bring her dog.

    AngelWingsYT
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unless Max is a special needs/service pup he doesnt *need* to be there

    Hannah Taylor
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What part of "venue rules" isn't getting through to Emily? You have no say in this, and that's not going to change, period. And did your parents actually say that "family is more important than rules"? In what universe? Ask them what they intend to do if the venue ejects the whole group for not following the rules. Keep repeating the question until you get a solid and acceptable answer. If they can't provide one, then there will be no further discussion on the subject. Emily sounds rather entitled; if she doesn't want to attend the wedding because her "baby" isn't allowed, that's HER loss. You and your fiancé just go on and enjoy your special day.

    Libstak
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it was a special needs or service dog, i could understand but nobody brings their pet to a wedding and it would be an oddity that would cause disruption, even in a carrier, terriers are little barkers for bonkers reasons. I doubt she would leave it in the carrier if it fretted by the way, she is OTT and will increase the level of exceptions for the dog as the day proceeds maybe hoping you will be too busy to notice. Also, no pet venue means you risk the venue cancelling you on the day if she tries to sneak the dog in. She is old enough to understand but chooses not to, NTA.

    Justin Smith
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean some people getting married do have their pets at or in rhe wedding, but someone who isnt the bride or groom shouldnt be bringing their pet to the wedding.

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    Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Its a pet-free venue. You cannot make an exception. If she shows up with the dog, the venue will either ask her to leave or add an extra fee.

    Estelle E.
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. Stand your ground. It's the first time I heard people wanting to bring their pets to a wedding. It would be different if Max were a service dog, which he isn't. By the venue being pet free, allergic people could expect it to be safe for them. They are not safe anymore if a dog is here, even in a bag (what does you sister expects for the dog to pee and s**t in a venue welcoming a wedding ?

    ThisIsMe
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am wildly attached to my pets, and it would never ever occur to me to take one to a wedding. Not to mention the fact that they would NOT want to go and be cooped up all day!

    MrsFettesVette
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    AND you want to enjoy the day, not spend it looking after your dog. My dog is my baby and we were actually told that the venue owner would be fine with us including our dog in our wedding, but we just didn't think it would be the best thing for her. It would never occur to me to bring my dog to someone else's wedding!

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    Trillian
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    WHO brings pets to a wedding??? (Unless it's a trained service animal)).

    Marlowe Fitzpatrik
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *raises hand* But, to clarify: it was agreed beforehand with groom and bride, the venue was pet-friendly and it was not a classical large party in a hotel-ballroom full of people in shiny clothes. My brother and his wife rented a house (two, actually) for 3 days with a large garden and a lot of open spaces where everyone could mingle and just decide what they wanted to do. We sat in the sun in the garden and talked, ate, drank, petted the dogs, played again, talked a lot more ... It was just a lovely gettogether with 30 people so family could meet friends and actually get to know each other. Best wedding I have ever attended. That said - it was still not the first wedding where people brought dogs. We also brought our dogs to a funeral (obviously with permission and not to the actual lowering of the casket!!) *shrugs* We could get someone to dogsit, but if it's not necessary, our dogs are well-behaved enough to not be a huge issue. Still - to the original question: it is HER wedding.

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    Scrupulous Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA My very small, well behaved, hypoallergenic toy poodle travels everywhere with me. She even has a service animal certificate. She has flown on 12 hour flights, been to the theatre, and even religious ceremonies. However, I decided early on when I adopted her that It was important for HER wellbeing that she was comfortable staying with a pet sitter. I imagined how much better it would be for HER if I ever were hospitalised or had a situation that we needed to be apart to feel safe without me for periods of time. If a family member were getting married and asked that I leaver her with a sitter I would do it without hesitation. I would probably stay for the ceremony and meal and then go home when the dancing began with no hard feelings. I would do the same if it were my child or baby.

    Melissa anderson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There’s something wrong with that woman if she can’t leave her little dog alone for a few hours. She needs major therapy.

    Historyharlot93
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “Family is more important than rules” How often has OP been told that sister must get her way in everything? Sister is definitely the Golden Child in this family.

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    A S Mora
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA Break the cycle of appeasing your sister. Your wedding, your rules.

    James016
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    100% NTA, it's not just your preference, it's the venue's rules. It's not that hard to understand. I would not want a pet at my wedding either.

    Seedy Vine
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP's sister is choosing a dog over her own sister... on her wedding day?! OP you are not TA here! And shame on your enabling parents!

    Matteic
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. It's a dog. Also, terriers are very active breeds and being stuck in a carrier for all day would suck for him. Stand your ground.

    dayngerkat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Having to specify "no pets" at a wedding is ridiculous. Sister is an AH. You're choosing your dog over your sister's wedding. AH AH AH. Parents are AH too

    K. LNU
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. I so dislike when people say "If you loved me, you'd..." I think you should tell your sister that if she loved you... she'd come sans dog. It is your and your husband-to-be wedding and you have the say about your day. I get that you hate that your sister may not be there, but nothing to feel guilty over. I'd honestly ask the venue what would be the charge if someone were to bring their dog (not a service dog). Then tell Emily that she needs to pay the venue that amount (it won't be cheap - depending on where you are having it.) I love my dog, but she is also perfectly capable of staying at home, by herself for a few hours. I usually don't stay longer if I don't have someone to check in on her, but I'd WANT to attend my sister's wedding. Nothing to feel guilty about; it that she is putting a guilt trip on you.

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also, only read to see if this was a service dog, it's not.

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    ginshun
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. Your wedding your rules. I have pets and love them to death. That said its strange and weird to be so attached that you can't bare to spend a whole day away from your dog to go to your sister's wedding.

    Heffalump
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Emily needs to grow up. This has nothing whatever to do with how she can't bear to be apart from her dog. It has to do with her needing to have you demonstrate her importance by making an exception for her. Tell your parents they need to butt out: the venue says no and it's too late to change, even if you wanted to, but you shouldn't, and they need to recognize that you are not causing the problem here, it's your sister.

    Kimmi Patterson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're NTA. Stand your ground. The sister sounds like a brat and the parents are enablers. They'll all get over it. If their day is ruined because Max isn't there, oh well, yours won't be, and you're the one who matters on YOUR DAY.

    JK
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA - 100,000,000 NTA. The venue had rules. So your parents are ok with the venue potentially kicking you out mid-ceremony when they find out? (Because they *will* find out - if not before, then after, and then you could be looking at a huge bill). I have dogs, always have, and I love them to pieces, but they do not go *everywhere* with me. Nor would I try to take them someplace where they are clearly *not allowed*. The sense of entitlement with your sister is through the roof. So she expects *you* to cater to *her* wants (Id say "and needs", but no one, except those with service animals, *need* their *pet* with them) but she cant possibly put you and your needs/wants first on (hopefully) you're only singular wedding day??? No, and if your parents support her then we know where she got that entitlement from. It isnt easy living in the shadow of a golden child, but you do not need to keep making allowances for it. Let her stay home with her pet, go stand in the sun with your partner 💜

    PrettyJoyBird
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She threatens to not attend her own sisters wedding if her dog cant attend. Regardless of venues policy or if dog might be emotional support animal shes basically saying she values her pets life over her own sisters. Nah she can stay home with dog.

    Mark Alexander
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You want to know how attached to my boys I am? I don't fly. I don't take trains. I don't take cruises. I bought a mother-barking RV. My precious peppers can go anywhere, park, and I can fire up the generator, spread out the water, tell them we'll be back soon and have fun. We can check on them every hour if we want. The hosts don't have to know or care because my precious babies are not their problem. Too expensive? Put a solar powered A/C in your car. (You probably don't have 3 anyway 😉)

    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sister needs psychiatric help. That's ridiculous. How does she work? Or shop? Or do literally anything else where animals aren't allowed? I'd be fine with her not coming to my wedding - she sounds like a nutjob!

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If this were a service dog, allow her to bring him. But it sounds to me like it's just a pet. She can stay home with him in that case.

    George Costanza
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The ONLY people that can have a pet at a wedding are the couple getting married. A service dog is not a pet, and should be allowed if medically necessary. That's it. No other pets. Zero tolerance.

    CanadianDimes
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The venue is pet-free. It doesn't matter if it's also your rule that there are no pets at the wedding. The venue says no, so it's no.

    Christos Arvanitis
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel bad for the dog. If she never leaves max alone, then he likely has anxiety issues if left alone. The sister likely also has some issues that she needs to deal with because you can't bring your dog everywhere! Dog parent and dog lover here btw...

    Val Carriere
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've been to weddings where they have their pets in the wedding party ,but they had someone who looked after them after the service. It's too stressful for the animals .

    Janice
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a service dog (not support), a 15 lb Shih Tzu, that I bring everywhere with me, but I keep him in a stroller (made for dogs, but its large, like the size for a baby). He is silent while in his stroller and people don't know he's even there until someone (always) points and announces it. My dog does NOT alert me to take meds or when I'm going to fall/faint or have a seizure. If he did, I wouldn't even ask - I think of service animals to be the same as wheelchairs, in terms of handicap rights. As much as I can relate to the sister and her wanting and/or needing Max, unless Max is a legit service dog, OP is absolutely right to stand her ground. There is no reason why the dog needs to be there.

    Jeevesssssss
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh my f*****g days. 1) She might think Max is like her child but he isn't. She says she'll put him in a carrier for the ceremony but how will he cope with that?? Is that fair on him?? It's a highly restrictive and stressful environment and should only be used when necessary (I say this as someone who leaves their carrier out and whose cat uses it occasionally as a place to nap. Once you shut the door and the choice to leave is removed it's a wholly different environment for them.) 2) Plenty of people have CHILD-free weddings. I've actually never seen a pet-free wedding specified because I haven't known anyone stupid enough to think pets were appropriate... but having a child-free wedding is perfectly acceptable. In which case your friend can suck rocks twice over.

    Inés Olabarria Smith
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don’t doubt yourself. You’re in the right.

    Vinnie
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Emily has several months to find a dog sitter and get Max used to them. Max is likely to have a better time with the sitter than being in a crate. As for "Max is like her child and that she can’t bear to leave him alone for a whole day" - people leave children with sitters or relatives all the time while they go out or go on trips.

    Mike F
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Many of us, myself included, are kind of doing an overlay of our own situation and/or experience because that's how we identify with the situation. If we step back a bit and look from the perspective of the bride/groom it's pretty cut and dried, the venue doesn't permit animals. All of the howling and caterwauling won't change that fact. The parents want the couple to give in so sister stops her campaign rather than perhaps brainstorming a solution. It sounds as though sister is pretty self centered and absolutely accustomed to getting her way by hook or by crook so it may be necessary to just let her know that if she insists on bringing her dog, if it's THAT necessary, then perhaps she should remain at home, with her dog. A wedding is not a place for a pet.

    Skylar Jaxx
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I understand I love my toy mini schnauzer and she goes where I go but a wedding is not one of those places she would go.

    Beth Wheeler
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They don't want dogs there and the venue doesn't allow pets. The bratty sister needs to get over herself and leave the dog at home. What does she do with it while working if she doesn't work from home? I work from home and my dog gets left alone a couple times a week for 3-4 hours. The cat wants nothing to do with him but he can see her through an extra tall baby/pet gate. I also play dog anxiety music for him and can watch him on the security cameras and talk to him if needed.

    Brian Droste
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She knew way in advance that this was a no pet venue. She should have made provision with her dog to be taken care of instead of requesting if she could bring her dog with her. I agree with other commenter that if it was a service dog that would be a different story. Since it is not, a big NO for me.

    jjdubs W
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why is this even a question?

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actual children get left with babysitters. Dogs can be left with sitters too. Unless it's a trained service animal, you don't get to take it to pet-free venues.

    LaDonna
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I also have a dog I adore and would love to take him everywhere with me, but the venue has rules for a reason. If he were a service dog I would understand. But it’s not reasonable to expect to bring your pet everywhere you go.

    Roberta Surprenant
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I tend to take my dog EVERYWHERE, but if someone says "no dogs", he doesn't go.

    Arlene Harris
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the venue is pet free, period. No other reasons need be given. If she shows up with the pet, the VENUE will remove her. It's out of your hands. The fact that you don't want the dog there is actually immaterial. The venue says no, and they can toss the whole wedding out if they wanted to (not that they'd want to, but they could legally and morally be right to do so). Time to get a chisel and hammer and get it through her thick skull that this is a non option.

    Steve Hall
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It sounds like sister needs professional help.

    Karina
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Its not a choice, because the place wont allow it. So what are the parents even talking about " making an exception"?

    Baali Venomax
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not just her that is barring the dog though, it's also the venue and she could get in trouble with the owner of the venue, if she bends the rules for her sister. If Emily cannot be parted then maybe she could be there on remote? Something set up so she can see what's going on, like they did during the pandemic while staying with her beloved dog and no one gets in trouble or is left out?

    ConstantlyJon
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who TF brings their dog to a wedding? Like, besides a service dog I have NEVER seen a dog at a wedding before. Is that a thing? Do people do this?

    Hannah Taylor
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know that there are couples who will have their dog be the ring bearer at their ceremony. However, the dog is well-behaved and mature enough to follow commands. Emily just wants to bring her dog because....she wants to. I would love to have a front-row seat at the tantrum she no doubt will throw.

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    Marlowe Fitzpatrik
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA We took our dogs to my brother's wedding - with permission and happy permission, too! - and it was wonderful and everyone was happy with the dogs and the dogs where happy lying in the sun and getting petted whenever they wanted. (the big guy was not happy he didn't get access to the buffet, but - duh!) But that was my brother's wedding and if he'd said "no dogs", we'd have found a solution. In this case, it's HER wedding and if she doesn't want the dog there - more even, the venue doesn'T allow them! - it's her decision. So if sister won't come... well, I guess you have to party without her. I can understand if she can'T leave the dog alone, but well... Her loss.

    Mr. Jones
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People think they can bring pets to a wedding? WTF? I don't even like kids at a wedding.

    Abby Bristow
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your sister is making your wedding about her you'll be much better off of she doesn't come at all because you know she's going to sulk and tell anyone who will listen how terrible you are for following the rules of the f*****g venue. Your sister is the worst. You are in no way an a*****e your sister and parents are though.

    Krystal Quigley
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    1. People shouldn't make pets go places they will be miserable. 2. A wedding is supposed to be about the two getting married. No one else should be able to make demands. Even at a less formal event, if the host says no pets, then respect that.

    Papa
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    First, saying "I want my wedding to be perfect" is setting herself up for disappointment. Something will always go wrong. Roll with it and don't let it spoil the day. Now that I have that out of the way, she is absolutely justified in not wanting her sister to bring her dog.

    AngelWingsYT
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unless Max is a special needs/service pup he doesnt *need* to be there

    Hannah Taylor
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What part of "venue rules" isn't getting through to Emily? You have no say in this, and that's not going to change, period. And did your parents actually say that "family is more important than rules"? In what universe? Ask them what they intend to do if the venue ejects the whole group for not following the rules. Keep repeating the question until you get a solid and acceptable answer. If they can't provide one, then there will be no further discussion on the subject. Emily sounds rather entitled; if she doesn't want to attend the wedding because her "baby" isn't allowed, that's HER loss. You and your fiancé just go on and enjoy your special day.

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