Chaunie Brusie, a freelance writer and a mom of four, presents us with 5 comical situations that underline the differences between dads and moms when they go out in public. Published by Babble, a parenting blog, the illustrations show biased public opinions when it comes to the roles of parents. For example, while dads can get away with scrolling through their Facebook feed while their kids are at the park, moms are under the magnifying glass pretty much all the time.
Does this look familiar to you? Share your experiences in the comments below and upvote the most accurate illustrations.
(h/t: Babble)
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Agreed. Criticized for breastfeeding, Criticized for formula feeding. Take your eyes off of them for 5 minutes when you've had them non stop for 24 hours a day 7 days a week for 6 months and you're a piece of s**t. Wean your kid off the boob at 6 months? Oh you're being selfish. Wait until they self wean and it continues after they are 2? So you're planning on breastfeeding until they are in college. It's a catch 22 no matter what.
Load More Replies...I have actually seen this scenario on more than on occasion. So quick to judge moms, and praise dads.
Being a single father I can definitely confirm this and many other biases that tend to view the father as borderline incompetent to ably provide for the kids in full and congratulate the caring dad on every occasion. Sometimes I feel like competing on Special Olympics fully able-bodied. I usually can't hug or kiss my two girls in public without getting an occasional puppy eyed look from passing women despite the fact that they are girls of young age and very obviously need that kind of attention from time to time. What I want to say is that society has branded the "Father figure" as many things, but obviously the provider of full time care is not one of them. This cartoons touch the subject in a very realistic way for me.
Fathers don't usually get the role they deserve in custody cases based on existing statistics, which in fact often seems like circular logic. The point being that many marriages fail and with the father very often being taken out of the equation in that case there is no way for the male sex to prove themselves as able caretakers. I know of many cases where by family court decision fathers only get to see their children around 3-5 % of the time, while the remainder is spent with mothers. It is virtually impossible to have any meaningful impact on the child's upbringing in such a limited time-frame, hence impossible to prove the ability to be an active parental figure.
Load More Replies...The "Dad" might also be mistaken for a random pervert, not all sunshine and rainbows for fathers and kids at parks
I agree with Christian Hill and I can say that as a woman. And a mother of 5.
Ugh. Not my experience. When my kids were little and I took them to the playground, I would get death glares from the moms. It was horrible. I had to keep talking to my kids as they were playing so they wouldn't assume I was a molester. Miserable.
actually when i see any of the parents taking outside their kids and staring in their smartphones, it always annoys me, no matter their gender.
Me too, and I’m not even a parent. Nor do I ever want to be, which is totally acceptable!
Load More Replies......because Dads don't generally take their kids out? Who exactly is the prejudice aimed at here??
Both sides, I guess. The male ones may seem brighter on the surface, but they imply social expectations that are equally insulting to both males and females.
Load More Replies...Again no, women are criticized for everything they do. This is insulting to WOMEN.
Load More Replies...I've never gotten this and I be done both my daughters nails on multiple occasions prior heading to the doctors office. So...BS to this one...
It does happen, a nurse etc notices the polish and then makes a statement based on which parent is there.
Load More Replies...Men overwhelming are the breadwinners in a family unit, so statistically, it is a rarity to find a man that also fulfills the role of nurturer/caregiver to his children in the same capacity that the mother typically, generally, statistically, fulfills. Why is it that women only need to be barely adequate at dangerous physical labor, sports, or even video games to be praised at the same level of men? Because they aren't expected to be things to which they (as human females) generally do not gravitate or excel in, relative to their male counterparts. Where are all the women on the front lines of infantry combat, and where are the female garbage collectors and construction workers? This matriarchal double standard is obviously sexist against men.
Commense hate on feminists. *sigh* I just knew a lot of posts of hating feminists in this BP article would be hughe. Whyyy? Our western ideals are SO dependant on gender equalization in work force etc. These drawings are a great way to pinpoint every day drama, that we are not still considered equal.
I'n sorry but speaking as someone who wad a stay at home father For seven years, dad's get routenly treated like idiots. I'm sorry if women treat other moms poorly, but to portrey it like fathers have it easy it HIGHLY insulting.
The man's barber looks like the Monopoly or Pringles guy. Pringles-m...544cbc.png
And when you answer "They're with their Dad." you get "Aww isn't that good of him to babysit." He's not their babysitter, he's their Father! *sigh*
Sorry just realized I stole your comment after I got a like
Load More Replies...Every time indeed.... Now I'm just answering: they are 5 and 3, alone of course, they can take care of themselves .....
Haha! How trolling of you. That is hilarious.
Load More Replies...Apparently, mom parents and dad "babyshit". Their FATHER is watching the kids. You know, because it's THEIR FATHER. Sigh.
Is it any wonder, when society brands men as hapless dads, that a dad seen being a 'dad' is something away from what is expected of them? Look at all the father figures on TV: from Daddy Pig, to three men and a baby, to Fred Flintstone, we grew up thinking dads are useless. It's true, men don't have the pressure of having to be seen as being a 'good mum' but where is that pressure coming from? And does it really matter what other people think of your parenting skills? Be the best you can be and stuff anyone else. I'm a dad for my daughter, and the only person whose opinion matters is hers.
BEST RESPONSE EVER! Be the best you can be for HER! SHE IS ALL THAT MATTERS. I'm so glad someone else knows that. I wish my dad did. But in recent years he's made up for it. :) Daughters carry how their daddies treat them their entire lives.
Load More Replies...I've gotten the "you've got your hands full" at the grocery store more than once. Never the other.
Lol. I get this a lot. It doesn't bother me though unless someone is being s****y about it. I have 5 children. The older 2 I didn't give birth to and yes I know what causes children and it's NOT in the water. Lmao
I hear this comment EVERY TIME I go grocery shopping with my two kids!
I actually find Dads can get similar reactions as people assume it's a "Mom's day off" type of thing....but it's usually one or the other extreme I think
I am a 24/7/365 dad of 3. DEADBEAT MOM....THIS IS THE MOST SeXIST R******D S**T I EVER have seen. So insulting..... And WOMEN do not like dating you or being there just as much as men.... You let courts decide your kids dad fate... Expect nothing less... SEXISTS.
I'm more likely to point out how it's dangerous to let a dad's kids put plastic bags on their heads or to stand up in the cart.
Every time I walk into the store with the kids AT LEAST ONE person says this to me... and my kids are generally really well behaved in the store.
This one depends on the friends. I tend to ask about the kids first regardless of the sex, and then go on to random stuff.
I was thinking the same thing. I usually start with "how are you doing", and then, I move on according the direction towards which the conversation is developing.
Load More Replies...The one that always bugged me is when I take my kids to the doc, I'm treated like a nervous worrywart, but if their dad takes them the docs pay attention. They also talk down to me like I'm an ignorant child but talk to my husband like an intelligent adult, despite him being clueless and me actually knowing what they're talking about.
The one that grated on my nerves was my wife was catering for our daughter but I was babysitting even though I stayed home and my wife worked and our friends knew it.
I have four and I still don't ask people about their kids unless it's the only think I know about them and am forced into a position of conversing.
Load More Replies...How about THIS one: Dad is out with the kids on the weekend...he must be divorced and only have the kids part-time. Yup! Not fair.
This is actually only negative for the father. For those of us with children, the world revolves around our children. Mothers often take a more active role in a child's life, and it's sad.
Seems to me everyone just wants to be pissed off about SOMETHING. ALWAYS. My husband and I very rarely go out and if we do the kids are with us but if he's at work or something he always asks his buddies and bosses how their family's are doing. Then again he could care less about sports so...
What a nice piece of sexist propaganda. My brother is a single parent, and he says he always feels "out of place" when he goes out, that people are always offering him unsolicited advice, thinking he doesn't know how to take care of his kid because he's a man.
Single Dad here with 3 kids. This list tried but came off as bitter and sexist
Load More Replies...This sums up my life. My husband is awesome and deserves all the praise he gets. But the amount of praise he's gotten for literally appearing in public next to his children is something that's baffling even to him.
my ex thought it was weird too.. He'd push the kiddo on the swing once a month and get praised for being such a great dad I was able to (and frequently did) push a kid on a swing since about the age of 5..
Load More Replies...Yes,it is sexist and "one eyed? But unfortunately,so are societies attitudes ,in many cases.We are expected to have it all,effortlessly.We are bombarded by ridiculous headlines about "celebrity" mothers being "Yummy Mummies" *shudder,"Super Mums" etc ,always ignoring that they can afford Nannies,personal stylists,assistants and chefs,yet ALL women are expected to be the same.Men ARE treated differently.When my kids were younger,I got so sick of hearing "what a good Dad"every time my Husband spent time with them,forgetting that with 4 young children(2 just 12 months apart)getting to the supermarket alone,getting an hour to jog or even have an uninterrupted shower was a rare luxury.The one that drove me really crazy,and the most common was) that he was "BABYSITTING","for"me?No.He is was parenting his children!There are wonderful single & hands on Dads out there,but there are a lot more Mums being primary carers but no one is patting them on the back every time they change a nappy!
Well, gender roles don't fit all. You did use generalizations that omit the possibility of people being comfortable with those roles yourself. See how easy it is to communicate your perspective, ignoring other by generalizing. That's what these posts do. I did not want to go into examples, but I'll throw a few of the most obvious. If we use the same societal gender roles most of the people who agree with these comics are using, guess what comments would the dad actually receive? He is "supposed" to be at work 9 to 5 (at least) and then fix something in the house or the car. What is he doing taking a break with his children? And that's only for people who know him. Say he gets his daughter to the park. I can ensure you that unless he is a "hot dad", "daddy material" or what have you, someone is going to be throwing looks as if he is a child molester. Heck, I've seen this with a granddad saying goodbye to his granddaughter at the school gate. A few college girls commented that he is a
Load More Replies...The thing that annoys me regularly is that when my son goes to hospital, and he has to too often, I look after him more often than his mother. Too often clinical and non-clinical staff ask where his mother is, or ask if we should wait for his mother. No, his mother is at work and I am here, I am equally able to look after him.
Oh, how brutally opinionated and one sided this is. How it conveniently takes a side and places one gender above the other and making the latter a victim, implying sexism while being sexist. Ironic, really. And to make matters worse, everyone that dares to express a negative opinion about these comics or to point their propagating nature is downvoted. If that isn't proving a point, I don't know what is. These comics served a great purpose. Just not the one they tried so desperately to push through.
It would be propagandistic and sexist if it wasn't true but unfortunately it is in most countries! The woman is just "assumed" as the main carer for the kids, and if she is not, she is judged for it!
Load More Replies...Interesting comments. Especially, the 'sexist' accusation. It is STILL problematic to make something just from a woman's point of view. And it's almost always men who then cry out that this is unfair. (Regardless of the fact that 80-90% of EVERYTHING EVER PUBLISHED is exclusively about males) I heard a great comment recently (from a male comedian): 'We will have true emancipation when women are finally allowed to screw things up just as much as men.' At the moment women are still held up to much higher standards - by themselves and almost everyone else. That's a fact. That some don't wanna hear it doesn't change it.
And reading some more comments: What exactly is so terrible about a female writer being a bit frustrated or bitter or angry? The standards that are applied to mothers are insane. I think it's perfectly ok to be a bit bitter about that.
Load More Replies...This is hilarious. Why do people always have to get butt-hurt over everything lol
i don't think that this is sexist or anything she is just telling her side of the story . and it can happen to both men and women . there's no need for overthinking . and being a single parent is a very different thing and obviously has it's own problems but this comic its just simply not about that !!!
continuing... Again with the park scenario, I don't doubt that it happens but most of the time, the man would probably receive more mean looks and rumors of being a pedophile than a compliment. Even if the man is there with his child, him playing with his phone at a playground where children are present would probably cause alarm to other parents nearby. Interracial fathers also have a problem of being accused as an abductor just because they don't look like their kids. Interracial mothers may also experience the same but not as prevalent as interracial fathers, they probably get mistaken more as a babysitter. The comic may have been good at pointing out the judgement that mothers receive from others,however, it completely ignores the judgement that fathers receive from others and portrays it as though they are only showered with compliments.
While they may be some inkling of truth in these comics, I find that it's quite bias and should have been mored balanced to show the positive and negative things that moms and dads experience when they are out alone with their kids. On the other hand, while the comments given to dads may seem positive, it may also come off as an insult veiled as a compliment. For instance, the "at the park" scenario, the comment towards the dad may be viewed as "Oh look! He's actually spending time with his kid." Also, people might quickly compliment a father for little things he does for his kid but that's due to society's perception of men not being natural at parenting. We see it on TV where most of the shows have fathers who are portrayed as a deadbeat or he's a great guy but an incompetent parent. So to many, a father just being in the same room as his kid is deserving of an applause even though it's not.
What a nice piece of sexist propaganda. My brother is a single parent, and he says he always feels "out of place" when he goes out, that people are always offering him unsolicited advice, thinking he doesn't know how to take care of his kid because he's a man.
Single Dad here with 3 kids. This list tried but came off as bitter and sexist
Load More Replies...This sums up my life. My husband is awesome and deserves all the praise he gets. But the amount of praise he's gotten for literally appearing in public next to his children is something that's baffling even to him.
my ex thought it was weird too.. He'd push the kiddo on the swing once a month and get praised for being such a great dad I was able to (and frequently did) push a kid on a swing since about the age of 5..
Load More Replies...Yes,it is sexist and "one eyed? But unfortunately,so are societies attitudes ,in many cases.We are expected to have it all,effortlessly.We are bombarded by ridiculous headlines about "celebrity" mothers being "Yummy Mummies" *shudder,"Super Mums" etc ,always ignoring that they can afford Nannies,personal stylists,assistants and chefs,yet ALL women are expected to be the same.Men ARE treated differently.When my kids were younger,I got so sick of hearing "what a good Dad"every time my Husband spent time with them,forgetting that with 4 young children(2 just 12 months apart)getting to the supermarket alone,getting an hour to jog or even have an uninterrupted shower was a rare luxury.The one that drove me really crazy,and the most common was) that he was "BABYSITTING","for"me?No.He is was parenting his children!There are wonderful single & hands on Dads out there,but there are a lot more Mums being primary carers but no one is patting them on the back every time they change a nappy!
Well, gender roles don't fit all. You did use generalizations that omit the possibility of people being comfortable with those roles yourself. See how easy it is to communicate your perspective, ignoring other by generalizing. That's what these posts do. I did not want to go into examples, but I'll throw a few of the most obvious. If we use the same societal gender roles most of the people who agree with these comics are using, guess what comments would the dad actually receive? He is "supposed" to be at work 9 to 5 (at least) and then fix something in the house or the car. What is he doing taking a break with his children? And that's only for people who know him. Say he gets his daughter to the park. I can ensure you that unless he is a "hot dad", "daddy material" or what have you, someone is going to be throwing looks as if he is a child molester. Heck, I've seen this with a granddad saying goodbye to his granddaughter at the school gate. A few college girls commented that he is a
Load More Replies...The thing that annoys me regularly is that when my son goes to hospital, and he has to too often, I look after him more often than his mother. Too often clinical and non-clinical staff ask where his mother is, or ask if we should wait for his mother. No, his mother is at work and I am here, I am equally able to look after him.
Oh, how brutally opinionated and one sided this is. How it conveniently takes a side and places one gender above the other and making the latter a victim, implying sexism while being sexist. Ironic, really. And to make matters worse, everyone that dares to express a negative opinion about these comics or to point their propagating nature is downvoted. If that isn't proving a point, I don't know what is. These comics served a great purpose. Just not the one they tried so desperately to push through.
It would be propagandistic and sexist if it wasn't true but unfortunately it is in most countries! The woman is just "assumed" as the main carer for the kids, and if she is not, she is judged for it!
Load More Replies...Interesting comments. Especially, the 'sexist' accusation. It is STILL problematic to make something just from a woman's point of view. And it's almost always men who then cry out that this is unfair. (Regardless of the fact that 80-90% of EVERYTHING EVER PUBLISHED is exclusively about males) I heard a great comment recently (from a male comedian): 'We will have true emancipation when women are finally allowed to screw things up just as much as men.' At the moment women are still held up to much higher standards - by themselves and almost everyone else. That's a fact. That some don't wanna hear it doesn't change it.
And reading some more comments: What exactly is so terrible about a female writer being a bit frustrated or bitter or angry? The standards that are applied to mothers are insane. I think it's perfectly ok to be a bit bitter about that.
Load More Replies...This is hilarious. Why do people always have to get butt-hurt over everything lol
i don't think that this is sexist or anything she is just telling her side of the story . and it can happen to both men and women . there's no need for overthinking . and being a single parent is a very different thing and obviously has it's own problems but this comic its just simply not about that !!!
continuing... Again with the park scenario, I don't doubt that it happens but most of the time, the man would probably receive more mean looks and rumors of being a pedophile than a compliment. Even if the man is there with his child, him playing with his phone at a playground where children are present would probably cause alarm to other parents nearby. Interracial fathers also have a problem of being accused as an abductor just because they don't look like their kids. Interracial mothers may also experience the same but not as prevalent as interracial fathers, they probably get mistaken more as a babysitter. The comic may have been good at pointing out the judgement that mothers receive from others,however, it completely ignores the judgement that fathers receive from others and portrays it as though they are only showered with compliments.
While they may be some inkling of truth in these comics, I find that it's quite bias and should have been mored balanced to show the positive and negative things that moms and dads experience when they are out alone with their kids. On the other hand, while the comments given to dads may seem positive, it may also come off as an insult veiled as a compliment. For instance, the "at the park" scenario, the comment towards the dad may be viewed as "Oh look! He's actually spending time with his kid." Also, people might quickly compliment a father for little things he does for his kid but that's due to society's perception of men not being natural at parenting. We see it on TV where most of the shows have fathers who are portrayed as a deadbeat or he's a great guy but an incompetent parent. So to many, a father just being in the same room as his kid is deserving of an applause even though it's not.
