Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
20 Times Boyfriends And Husbands Were Being So Mean, Inconsiderate And Dumb, Women Had To Vent Online (April Edition)
Everyone deserves to be with a partner who loves, respects, and supports them. But real life isn’t a fairytale where everyone gets their ‘happily ever after.’ Many relationship red flags are glaringly obvious during the first few dates, while others reveal themselves only after you’re in a committed relationship.
Disillusioned by their partners’ awful behavior, people often turn to online communities to share their stories and ask for advice. Bored Panda is featuring the stories about toxic boyfriends and husbands that shocked the internet the most this April, and they are case studies in what to never do to the people you claim to love. Read on to see what dysfunctional relationships look like.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
AITAH Calling My Boyfriend An Idiot Because He Said He's Grossed Out That His Brother And Sister Say I Look 18 - 20 Years Old?
Me (36f) and my boyfriend (32m) have been dating for 2 months. I met his brother (35m) and sister (37f) recently. They seemed nice for the most part.
My boyfriend was acting super weird in the following days. He finally broke down and told his brother and sister said something that really upset him. I asked what and he said they said I look 18 - 20 years old. I was confused and I said as much. He said it feels weird being attracted to me if I look that young. He said he's grossed out.
I got offended and I asked if he's an idiot. He said I'm being mean and that he's being a good guy. He said that a good guy should feel weird about dating someone who looks so young. I told him he must be an idiot if he forgot that I'm 4 years older than him. He told me that my outburst proves that I'm mentally immature.
I told my friends and all but one say I'm completely right. Some friends even had harsher words, calling my boyfriend's brother and sister racists. My best friend (35f), in private, said I shouldn't have called him an idiot if his brother and sister are trying to manipulate him. Am I the jerk?
RELATED:
#2
AITA My Boyfriend Planned A Disney Trip?
Okay…my mom gave me Disney gift cards for a graduation gift.
I’ve been waiting to plan it because going cheap is miserable.
He planned and booked and bought everything without talking to me or confirming.
We’re going with a group which I did NOT want to do. I’ve told him multiple times I want to wait and go just you and I. We’ve only been on one trip together in three years.
He planned a three day trip. 1 day drive 1 day at Disney, and 1 day drive back.
I wanted two days, 1 day Disney 1 day Cali. Adventure
So we’d drive up Friday night no hotel???
He wanted to stay w his family in their one bed apartment mind you they have 4 people living there.
No bed or couch for us.
Then we’d stay the second night in a hotel. And leave the next morning.
I said no to staying at the families and to see if there’s another night we can book for…He booked a cheap hotel Friday without talking to me…he did not read the reviews. Red stained floors and walls. Roaches. Bed frames too small for bed…I said screw that I’ll just book the hotel and pay for it. Or sleep in my car fr.
Then I asked him what his budget was as he’s the one who planned everything…doesn’t have one.
So now I’m over here planning and budgeting a whole trip that I did not want to take or was ready to plan in the first place…am I the jerk?
He’s making me feel bad for saying no after he made the plans without telling me…upset I made him cancel the nasty motel…then doesn’t even have a budget for this Disney trip he planned.
Idk I’m stressed out for a trip I wasn’t ready for…and the way he’s going about planning it…is not how I imagined things. Please tell me am I the jerk or if im being spoiled
#3
AITA For Putting Up For Adoption The Puppy My Boyfriend Gave Me After My Dog Passed?
I 28F have been with my boyfriend 32M for about 3 years. We’ve been talking about moving in together, and up until recently everything between us has been really good.
A few weeks ago, my childhood dog passed away. His name was Todd, and he was a Belgian Malinois. He was 16, and I had him since I was a kid. He was actually a gift from my dad before he passed, so Todd meant a lot more to me than just a pet.
Losing him was honestly one of the hardest things I’ve gone through. It was also pretty traumatic, and I’ve been grieving a lot. I’ve taken a step back from a lot of things in my life because I just haven’t felt like myself.
At the same time, I recently got accepted into a new job that I’ve been working toward for a long time, so I’ve also been trying to focus on that and get my life back on track.
A few days ago, my boyfriend came over and surprised me with a puppy. She’s a Belgian Malinois too, and she’s beautiful. But instead of feeling happy, I was honestly really upset.
I told him I wasn’t ready for another dog, especially not so soon after losing Todd. It felt really overwhelming and a bit insensitive. I don’t think getting another dog is something that “fixes” grief.
He said he just wanted to cheer me up and thought it would help, but I tried to explain that it doesn’t work like that and that I’m not in the right place emotionally or practically to take care of a puppy right now, especially with starting a new job.
We argued about it, and he ended up leaving. He didn’t take the puppy with him.
So now I’m in a position where I have a young, high-energy dog that I didn’t ask for and don’t feel capable of caring for properly right now. Even if she is so sweet, because I ended up crying on the floor and she licked my face.
I’ve been looking into finding her a good home where she can actually get the time, training, and attention she needs. It’s just I don’t know if I am ready to have another dog, now or ever because the pain of losing them it’s just TOO much.
My boyfriend thinks I’m being cold and says I’m “giving away his gift,” but I don’t see it that way. I see it as making sure the puppy ends up somewhere she’ll be properly cared for.
Still, part of me feels guilty, like maybe I’m overreacting or not appreciating what he was trying to do. So am I the jerk?
QUICK UPDATE: He just called me and now he wants the puppy back. Apparently because I don’t know how to appreciate gifts. The puppy is staying with me, until I find a home for her. I won’t give her to him.
Toxic relationships damage your well-being and negatively affect your physical, mental, and emotional health. They are not always filled with overt violence and disrespect. Relationship red flags can be much more subtle.
And, in some cases, they might seem endearing at the very beginning, when you’re just starting to date your significant other.
For instance, someone who seems incredibly affectionate and wants to spend all of their time with you at the start of your relationship might have serious control issues that only become apparent down the line.
Or someone whom you first felt attracted to because of their cool and mysterious persona might turn out to be bad at communicating their wants and needs, or they might have a heavy narcissistic character streak.
To be clear, nobody is ever ‘perfect,’ and it is human to make mistakes. But sadly, some mistakes, when repeated, become toxic behavior patterns that have devastating consequences for your partner’s quality of life.
#4
AITA For Telling My Boyfriend He Was Rude For Not Fixing My Tire?
Yesterday I (22f) was having really really bad cramps at work and by the time they got off they were pretty bad.
On my way back my tire blew out. I pulled over and realized I was right by my boyfriend’s exit, like a couple minutes from his place. I called AAA and they said it would be about an hour, but it ended up being around an hour and a half due to traffic.
So I called my boyfriend (24M). I told him what happened and that I felt really sick from the cramps, I told him I was basically hunched over in my seat, and asked if he could come help me. He knows how to change a tire and I have a spare in my trunk.
He said he had just gotten home and was in the middle of a game with his friends. He said since AAA was already on the way, I’d probably be okay waiting.
I said I understood but told him I was in a lot of pain and asked if he could come after the game then, since I was still going to be there a while. He kind of paused and then said he probably couldn’t, that he was planning to just stay on with his friends for the night and didn’t really want to get back out.
I got upset. I told him I was stuck on the side of the road, in a lot of pain, and it would take him like 20 minutes to come help me and I could be on my way instead of sitting there for a super long time. He said he gets that, but AAA was already coming and he didn’t think it made sense for him to come out.
I waited for a while and texted him again later saying I still felt even worse and asking if he was sure he couldn’t come, even just to help me real quick. He said he didn’t think it was necessary and that I’d be fine waiting.
I ended up sitting there for around an hour and half total before AAA finally came. My cramps were still awful and I just felt kind of miserable and alone the whole time.
Later he texted asking if I got home okay, and I said yeah but I was kind of upset he didn’t come. He said he thought it wasn’t a big deal since I wasn’t in danger and there was already a plan.
I told him it still would’ve meant a lot if he came, especially since he could’ve helped me fix it way faster, and because I felt really bad physically. He said he understands that now but at the time didn’t think it was necessary. I told him I would have never left him in a situation like that and that I just felt uncared for and that he was super mean. He told me I was over reacting and being annoying and we havent spoken since
#5
AITA For Telling My Boyfriend He Spends Too Much Time On His Video Games?
So my boyfriend plays on his PC he plays Fortnite and some other game I don’t know the name of it, but I feel like for the past 6 months it’s completely taken over his life. He gets home from work and the first thing he does is takes a shower and gets on his games until time for bed. Weekends as soon as he wakes up he goes straight to the games and is on it damn near all day. A couple weekends ago he started on it at 9 in the morning and didn’t get off until 4 in the evening and I told him it was time for dinner and he finally got off of it to eat, and he was going to get back on it after dinner but I asked him if we could do something together instead since we don’t see each other much though the week. He asked me to play Fortnite with him and usually I do but I just wasn’t in the mood to do that and asked if we could do something else he agreed but I could tell he wasn’t really into what doing and we got in a little argument and he went back to his game room and started playing again.
After our argument that night he came to bed I explained to him how I was feeling and said I understand he likes playing and that’s his time to unwind and I don’t care that he plays I just want him to make time for me and the kids too. He at first got defensive but then told me he’s sorry and he’ll stop spending so much time on it. For the past 2 weeks he’s been really good about only spending a little bit of time on it and has been spending more time with me and the kids.
Well fast forward to last night one of our female friends messaged him and asked if he was getting on the game he messaged back and said “if I’m allowed 🤣 haven’t played much lately.” Then she said what do you mean if you’re allowed and he said “the boss gets angry sometimes🤣 I’ll see if she’ll play for once.” After seeing this it really upset me because I explained to him how I’m feeling and now I feel like he’s making it out like I’m a controlling jerk. I don’t care that he plays at all I just want to spend time with him because I miss him. He gets home from work 2 hours before I get home so he has those two hours to play before I get home and could spend time with me after. Or weekends he could spend the mornings playing and the evenings with me just something to spend more time together. But now after seeing those messages it make’s me feel like I’m being controlling. Am I being a jerk for telling him he’s playing too much?
Edit: yes I have my own hobbies I love to read and I have my shows I watch by myself and I enjoy my me time but I don’t want days like that everyday. I want even just once/twice a week for my man to want to spend time with me and eat snacks and catch up on a show together or something. Our kids are 10 and 11 so they are older. Some were asking if he still does his responsibilities, he works but that’s about it. He doesn’t cook (which I’m fine with I do all the cooking he will pick up food sometimes for us) but what I get aggravated the most is dishes will be piled up or laundry needs folded and I’ll come home to him playing video games and not have anything done ever. He says “I make more and pay more of the bills so you should have to do more of the house stuff.” Yes I do make less but I still work and help with bills. I don’t get home until 6 he usually gets home between 3-4 so if he could at least do the dishes and then get on his games I wouldn’t complain as much.
#6
AITA For Being Upset That My Husband Throws Away Dishes I Forget To Put Away?
I’ve always struggled with washing dishes right away and sometimes they pile up in the sink. I usually end up washing them, but my husband hates this. A couple of weeks ago he said that if he ever finds another dish in the sink, he’s throwing it away in the garbage. There has not been a single dish in the sink. The rules have since changed to, if he sees any dish any where in the house unattended, it goes in the trash. I forgot a water cup on the coffee table the other day that’s now at the dump. I used a knife from the $100 knife set to open a package and forgot it out, it’s now gone. Is my anger unreasonable or does this situation indeed feel childish?
In a nutshell, you need to do an honest audit of your romantic relationship and ask yourself how your partner makes you feel on a day-to-day basis. Broadly speaking, if the bad outweighs the good, and you constantly feel emotionally drained rather than uplifted, it is likely that you are in a toxic relationship. It’s up to you to decide what to do next. You might decide that you need healthier boundaries, consider couples counseling, or decide to move on from the relationship altogether.
Toxic partners often disrespect, distrust, demean, and criticize you, and trample over your boundaries. As individuals, they are usually incredibly insecure, persistently jealous, self-centered, and selfish.
In contrast, someone who is an emotionally stable and healthy individual is trustworthy, secure, selfless, giving, loving, and positive. They are compassionate and respectful, and will lift you up instead of putting you down.
#7
AITA For Telling My H He Was Overreacting After I Helped Someone On The Side Of The Road?
I (36F) found someone laying on the side of the road. They were clearly unconscious, and when I got to them they were barely breathing and cold to the touch. I quickly pulled over and called 911. A couple other people pulled up to help and we all worked with the 911 dispatcher until the ambulance arrived and told us we were good to go.
It was terrifying, and I’m so grateful for the other people who stopped and helped because I thought for a minute that I was going to watch someone pass away alone and not have a way to help. It was hard to walk away not knowing how they’re doing, but at least they were in good hands when I left.
I got in my vehicle and left. We went to do a couple errands and then I picked up a naloxone kit because I’m still shaken and felt the need to be prepared if it happens again.
Anyway, I called my husband (38M) and he jumped to asking if I had washed my hands and disinfected the car. I told him that yes, I disinfected my hands, but that he was overreacting when it came to the car. He told me he was concerned for my safety, and I told him again that he was overreacting. Then he got really upset and told me that he would scrub the car down when he got home if I didn’t care enough to do it.
I got home and wiped down the front seat to avoid a fight, but he was still acting like I was a walking biohazard. On my way to shower, I told him to be careful because I touched the door handle this morning. He told me to stop being a jerk, and I offered to sleep on the couch if he’s still concerned by tonight. He’s not talking to me now, and I honestly don’t mind.
Not once did he ask if the person I helped was okay. He didn’t ask if I was okay, or if our kid who was in the car watching the whole thing was okay. He told me he was concerned for my safety, but I really don’t care. I tried to help someone and he immediately jumped to what I may have done wrong.
I might be a jerk for telling him he was overreacting and for mocking him. I just can’t get over how quickly he skipped over everything that actually mattered to ask if I disinfected a steering wheel.
AITA?
olivejuicedrinker (she/her) 17 minutes ago
absolutely nta. she helped save someone's life. her bf is just being absurd
#8
AITAH For Leaving My Boyfriend After He Failed To Do A Heimlich Maneuver On Me?
I (23 F) and my now ex (27 M) had been in a relationship for 3 years, last Friday we were having dinner when I started choking on my food, I got up and gestured to him that I couldn't breathe, he got behind me and tried to do heimlich maneuver on me, but he was doing it wrong, his hands were pressing on the wrong spot on my torso, they were hitting my lower ribs, I tried to put his hands in the right place and he moved them again to the wrong spot. My face was going red, almost purple, so i pushed him away and did the maneuver on myself with a chair that was close by, and i finally spat out the food while he looked at me.
When I was there trying to regain my breath, he didn't hug me or even asked if i was okay, he just looked at me and, offended, he said "i could have done it if you had let me, I almost had it. You won't even let me help you." He picked up his plate, left it by the sink (didn't even wash it) and went to our room, closing the door with a loud slam
I was baffled, angry and still shook all at once, I called my mom and she came to pick me up from his house, and we haven't talked in a week, he didn't try to reach out either.
I honestly don't even care that he didnt knew how to do it, at this point its not even about that, since i knew i needed to use a chair/table and apply the pressure on myself. What hurt me was that he got offended after and didn't even ask if i was okay. If the story had ended in "he didnt know how to do it, but i did, and he hugged me/comforted me afterwards" i don't think i would have ended the relationship
I think I'm not the jerk, but my friend said i was being dramatic, so i need other opinions to know if I am.
Sorry for the bad english, since it's not my first language.
#9
AITA For Not Quieting Down At A Renaissance Fair And Walking Away After My Boyfriend Sided With A Stranger?
I (23F) went to a Renaissance fair with my boyfriend (26M) and my sister. My sister and I go to events like this regularly, but it was my boyfriend’s first time.
At these events, people dress up, interact with performers, and cheer loudly during shows. I was acting how I normally do, engaging with the environment and cheering during performances.
During a joust, I was cheering along with the crowd (nothing inappropriate, just typical cheering). A man sitting in front of me turned around and said I was “scaring his child” and asked me to stop.
Before I could respond, my boyfriend told me I should “quiet down a little.”
That upset me, especially since the event itself encourages loud crowd participation. Another person nearby even commented that the man was out of line.
I felt embarrassed and unsupported, so I got up and walked away to calm down. My sister came with me. We had already planned to split up after the joust, so I didn’t think it was a big deal to take some space.
A few hours later, my boyfriend found us and was upset, saying I had abandoned him at an unfamiliar event. He also said that if a child is scared, people should adjust their behavior regardless of the setting.
I disagreed and felt like I shouldn’t have to change normal behavior in that kind of environment.
We ended up arguing, and it escalated more than it should have.
Added: Before the joust we had a detailed plan of separating for an hour ish after the joust. We each wanted to do different things happening at the same time frame so we planned to part ways and meet back up at the place I wanted to go since it was a group activity. My sister and I did separate for a time and she came back and joined me at the location talked about. I figured my boyfriend would do the same, which is why I was more ok with walking away from the situation.
Also before the joust even started the kid was side eyeing my sister and I. A look we're very familiar with as African Americans when children clearly aren't exposed to other people. After the dad told me to quite down other people around pulled me aside and said how he had no right to do so. All I was yelling was "that's my wife" cheering for the female knight and the man was there with his husband so that comment really shouldn't be an issue to him
AITA for not quieting down and for walking away?
Which of these stories shocked you the most and why? Have you ever been in a truly toxic relationship, and if so, what happened? Have you ever had to help a friend, relative, or coworker get out of a bad situation with their significant other? What advice would you give anyone when it comes to relationship red flags?
This is a sensitive topic, but if you feel like sharing your stories and relationship experiences, feel free to do so in the comments below.
#10
AITA For Taking Money From My Boyfriend Without Asking?
When I was doing laundry, I noticed my boyfriend had left ten euros in his pants. I took them out and put them on the table with the rest of the cash. We have a jar where we usually keep coins or cash, because my boyfriend doesn’t carry a wallet, so he leaves it there.
He went out to another place, and I invited my younger sister over for a sleepover. I decided to go to the store with her and treat her to something. So I took those ten euros… Usually I always ask my boyfriend if I can take money, and he never refuses. I know it was stupid, but I thought it’s just ten euros and I would return them literally the next day when I have cash, so I didn’t say anything to him. The next day he wanted to take that ten, asked me where it was, and I said I used it, and offered him twenty from my wallet. He got really angry, said I’m a thief and that he can’t trust me and can’t leave me alone in the apartment because what if I steal something else. He told me to go to my parents for a while and said he doesn’t want to see me. Honestly, I was in shock and just sat there silently thinking about the situation. I understand that I did something wrong by not telling him, but on the other hand, it’s not that serious? And I was going to return him money, and I did. He got even more pissed because I was sitting quietly, saying it annoys him when I sit there like I’m offended as if he’s the one at fault. I said I wasn’t offended, but he interrupted me and started asking what I spent the money on.
I hesitated because I felt embarrassed that I spent it not even on groceries for home but on my sister, and it would’ve been better to just use my credit for those small purchases. But what’s done is done. Now because I took too long to answer, he thinks I’m lying and that I spent the money on something else.
But like… what kind of or terrible thing could I even spend those damn ten euros on?
I understand that it’s not about the amount, but about the fact that I didn’t say anything, but it feels like he’s overreacting. Am I really that wrong?
#11
AITA For Refusing To Apologize To My Bfs Mom For An Argument That I “Caused”?
For some context, my boyfriend (M 21) and I (F 21) recently moved in together after being in a LDR for 3 years in February of this year (Bf was in NY and moved to me to Tx). He’s in his last semester of college and is doing online classes so he can still graduate with his hometowns college. It was a mutual decision, and we are very happy. My bfs mom (57 F) is a super sweet woman. We haven’t always gotten along, but that never hindered our relationship.
Now to the point, before he left I get a call from his mom wanting to “give her opinion” on our decision of moving. During this call she completely came after me and my character using phases like “you’re being very selfish”, “if you really loved my son you’d take care of the apartment by yourself until august when he graduated”, “you’re not the person I made you out to be, I thought you were better than this”, and so many other things. She didn’t give me the room to talk and explain that we had been talking about this for almost a year now, and that it was a decision both my bf and I put a lot of thought towards. All I could do is sit there and take every nasty word he spat out at me. It’s been about 5 months since that conversation, and we haven’t said a word to each other. Some context my bf didn’t tell his mom he was moving out until a month out of him coming due to personal issues that had come up and she wasn’t in the country which isn’t an excuse considering we’ve been talking about it for a year and I nagged him for months to tell her so we wouldn’t end up in this situation. She claims I should’ve told her since I’m “forcing” her son into this.
Anyways, my boyfriend (who wasn’t present during this conversation) says that we both messed up in that conversation and I should “take the high road” and apologize so that “things can get back to how they were before”, but I don’t feel like I did anything wrong I didn’t snap back I didn’t say anything to disrespect her, heck I wasn’t even able to get a whole sentence in without being told to be quiet she’s speaking. I told him I’m absolutely not apologizing. He told me that we’re both stubborn and if I don’t do it then nothing will ever get better.
We have my bf sister’s wedding to go to in June, and I don’t want drama taking away from her big day because I’m not willing to apologizing. But I also don’t want her to think it’s okay to talk to me the way she wants to and that the way she treated me was okay. So Reddit AITA?
#12
WIBTA If I Told My Boyfriend To Live With His Sister Instead Of Me?
I (22f) have been with my boyfriend (21m) since 2024.
We've been talking about getting our own place, not all the time but just passing moments and when we were talking about moving in he asked if his sister could move in, it wasn't a problem til he said he wouldn't have her pay rent at all and it made me question everything. In the past, when we were slowly starting to see each other in person, his sister told him to take his doorknob off, and it weirded me out. I asked him why, and he said she doesn't want us to do things we're not supposed to do, but keep in mind we're adults, not teens. If we were teenagers, I would 100 percent understand her concern, but we are both grown adults.
Plus, she doesn't pay rent either, so I feel like she shouldn't say anything to us since she's only older than us by 3 and 4 years. Anyways, fast forward to now, I haven't quite told him how I felt about her not paying rent because I feel like he'll call me a jerk and everything. His sister is cool and all but what bothers me is that he complains about how he has to make sure her rent is paid first before his and I've asked him before why he has to pay her rent and he just skipped over the question and never quite answered it so I can't really understand why he's paying her rent either. I don't know anymore, I'm thinking about telling him that maybe in the near future him and his sister can get an apartment together and not me and him because at that point I rather have my own apartment and pay my own rent cuz I don't want to hurt his feelings in the end.
I've told my parent's about this and they were pissed as hell, my mom even said she doesn’t want her own daughter to be breaking her back for someone that isn't working and even my dad has said that I should rethink this whole relationship cuz even he thinks it's weird that he's paying her rent. Right now he depends on his sister to drive him and pick me up from my house but once we get our license we won't really need her anymore so he'll be doing more adult stuff than her and the only thing she'll be doing is sitting in the house all day.
#13
AITA For Not Driving My GF Back Home But Getting Her Dad To Pick Her Up?
I [22M] had promised her [23F] I'd drive her back home, I admit it, but we had hang out at my place all day long and it had gotten late, it was midnight and I was too tired to drive her back home, it's a 2h drive round trip (so 1h and 1h), and one time I had already risked my life on the way back from dropping her off, struggling to keep my eyes open and barely getting by.
The reason I am supposed to drive her back home despite the conditions (one time, instead of sleepiness it was an awful awful storm with so much rain going on outside, super dangerous to drive on a highway) is her dad, he doesn't want her to sleep at my place even now that's it's been almost a year of me dating her, one time it was late and I asked to sleep at her place and he agreed, but only at the condition that she'd sleep in the bed with her brother and I'd sleep by myself in her bed. And yes, the ages I wrote down are correct, we are not teens.
Now I feel guilty about not driving her back home, I did offer to sleep for 2 hours, wake up and drive her back home in the night, but that was also not an option to her because of her curfew, so a huge argument happened and we almost broke up, her dad was pretty pissed to get up from bed to drive those 2 hours to pick her up, he even had work the next day, but I guess that was less important than the loss of dignity and purity that would happen if his ADULT daughter fell asleep in a safe place with her boyfriend who she has been with for so long.
So who's the jerk? I feel like it's both me and the dad, my fault is not thinking of driving her back home earlier when I had more energy, and her dad's for being so controlling he'd rather have her risk a car crash than letting her sleep in a safe place. But I am here to hear your opinion, it's always good to hear other perspectives and maybe I'm fully in the wrong.
#14
AITA? Asked My Daughter To Invite My Husband To Something He Says I Should Have Known He Would Want To Do
I (35F) have a three year old daughter with my husband (32M). She has had a strong mom preference since she was a baby and it has often hurt my husband's feelings. As a result, he has requested in the past that I encourage her to include him in things, which I am happy to do because I want them to have a good relationship.
Today, my daughter got herself a cup of juice and then eagerly asked me if I wanted some. I said sure and she excitedly got me a cup and poured me a small glass. She the ran to her dad and told him that she was sharing with me. Thinking he might like to be included, I asked her if she'd asked her dad if he wanted any. He immediately gave me an exasperated look and told her he didn't want any.
A few minutes later I asked him what was wrong and he said he didn't understand why I'd encouraged her to ask him when I know he doesnt usually drink juice. He said that I had put them in the position of telling her no or doing something he didn't want to do.
I agree that he doesn't drink juice frequently, but he does every once in awhile and often drinks things like Celsius. As a result, I didn't think it was a huge issue for him to have a sip of juice or that I was forcing him into something he was super opposed to. I thought he could have just said yes to participate with our daughter and then had a just a sip or even none at all. He says I should have thought more critically before putting him in that position.
AITA?
#15
AITA For Giving The Dog Half A T-Bone?
My(28F) husband (30M) is annoyed with me because I gave the rest of his t-bone to the dog. I bought him a t-bone as a surprise for after he got off work. He said he was really hungry so I made him steak and sides. He apparently left half the steak out overnight half covered with a paper plate and a fly was on it in the morning when I woke up. He didn't ask me to put it away and I didnt know he didn't put it in the fridge.
Rather than toss it in the trash I gave it to our dog, my husband then got annoyed I didnt just put it in the fridge and heat it up for him later. This is so gross to me, not only was it left out all night uncovered, there was a fly on it when I woke up. He says it was still salvagable. We are not fighting and he isn't still mad at me, hes just annoyed cuz he says the steak was really good and he was looking forward to the other half. Im starting to feel bad like maybe I should have just let him learn a hard lesson but then he'd have his steak lol AITA?
Edit: I took the bone from her once she got the meat off. Can ya'll stop telling me not to give it to her. It's done, she's alive, no diarrhea or pancreatitis yet
Edit #2: Dog is sleeping soundly in her bed, still no signs of distress. We have more steak in the freezer so no worries lol I did my due diligence and bought a family pack 🤣
#16
AITA For Using My Husband’s Dirty Coffee Mug To Hold Oatmeal Foam Instead Of Dirtying Another Dish?
My husband and I try to be mindful about not creating unnecessary dishes, and that’s something he specifically cares about and encourages.
Every morning, we make steel-cut oatmeal on the stove, and it creates foam on top that we skim off and throw away. For a long time, I used a clean bowl for this, which then had to go in the dishwasher, basically creating an extra dish just for oatmeal foam.
At some point, I realized we always have one or two dirty mugs in the sink from morning coffee. So instead of using a clean bowl, I started scooping the oatmeal foam into my husband's dirty mug, then rinsing it and putting it in the dishwasher as usual. I use his because he leaves after coffee and I stay for breakfast with the kids and use my mug for tea during the meal.
I’ve been doing this for quite a while, and it genuinely never occurred to me that it might be a problem. I honestly thought I was aligning with his preference to reduce unnecessary dishes. It wasn’t anything hazardous or damaging, just oatmeal foam going into an already dirty mug that was about to be washed anyway.
Today, my husband happened to see our son doing it and got angry. He said it was disrespectful to use his mug that way and felt strongly that it wasn’t okay.
As soon as he said that, I told him I was completely fine stopping and that we would never do it again. I’m not trying to keep doing something he hates. I just felt surprised by how strongly he reacted, because from my perspective it seemed harmless.
So now we’re curious: AITA for using his dirty coffee mug for this in the first place?
olivejuicedrinker (she/her) 12 minutes ago
nta, its a literally a mug that's already dirty and he won't use it again until it's washed. tf is the problem??
#17
AITA For Telling My Boyfriend Of Seven Years To Sleep At His Sister's House?
Hi. I have a situation I, 27F, am considering breaking up with my boyfriend, 29M over.
Recently, Owen, my long term boyfriend, has been really snappy and honestly acting like a jerk. I usually don't look through his phone, but when he was in the shower I saw he got a text from his ex, Brianna. She had said and I quote, "Hey. Let's talk." I trusted him, so I put the phone back where I found it and pretended nothing happened. What I didn't know was that he'd been talking to her for months. This was three months ago, and I thought it was the end of it.
Now, he's telling me Brianna is getting married and he is invited to the wedding because he wants to be "supportive." All I asked is, ok. When are we going? And to that, he got super defensive and told me to stop being so worried and trust him, and that I was totally blowing it out of proportion. I didn't even mean it to be smart. I put it off and walked away because I wasn't trying to argue. My dad had just gotten into the hospital after having a heart attack, so I had too much on my plate to worry about a silly thing like that. A few days later I tried to ask if he needed a suit or anything, and he wouldn't tell me anything. He started blushing and again, got super defensive. I don't know how to handle this alone, but I tried my best. I told him if he was going to be immature and lie to me, he had to get out of my house, because he didn't pay a single bill. He kept insisting it wasn't that serious, but I don't believe him. He went to his sister's house and has been sleeping there for a while. We have been in contact and he says he won't break up with me if I admit I was wrong. I can't help but think he's cheating. AITA? Any advice is appreciated.
Update!:
I have a job early today, so as some if you guys said, I packed up his stuff and called his sister to let her know. She said he was not staying there at all, and he basically lied. I left it there anyways. I texted him I was breaking up with him, and all ties are now cut.
#18
AITAH: My (29 F) Boyfriend (30 M) Constantly Pretends That Important Conversations We Have Had Never Happened So I Did It Back
I (29 f) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (30 m) for about five years now. We work for the same company but it’s mostly remote so we live an hour apart by car and its been this way for the entire five years. I am now realizing that he’s way too satisfied with this setup.
I wasn’t making a ton of money when I met him because I was still paying off student loans (as was he) but we both make a pretty good salary now that we could easily afford to rent or even buy a nice place together. He lives in the city (more expensive), I live on the periphery (cheaper but more boring). We have spoken at length about moving in together in the city, and for two years in a row now he has said we can look at places closer to when his lease is up, only for him to end up avoiding the topic and renewing his lease without discussing it with me.
The main reason I make this post is because I was on the phone with him yesterday and tried to bring up the topic of moving out this year. I know his lease is up in October. He knows I want to find a place with him, this isn’t a secret and he even said he was on the same page about it multiple times for several years. He started sending me links to studio apartments in the city clearly meant for just myself and then made a comment about how he would come mount my TV for me so that he can have something to do when he comes over.
I feel like me and him have been having this weird roundabout conversation for years now. After so many attempts at communicating how I want to move forward I felt myself give up and really just felt my heart go completely cold during the interaction. When he brought up my cousin's wedding this summer of which he is a +1, I said I'd let him know my decision since it's a small wedding and I'm not sure I want to take someone who isn't a serious partner. He was really confused by this, understandably, and I just told him it doesn't feel like we are serious so maybe I'll let him know. I felt terrible about this, it was my way of hurting him back I guess.
Haven't really spoken to him since (it's only been like a day). I know I handled that badly but am I the only jerk here?
UPDATE
i know it was mostly jokes but I'd be surprised if I was actually the sidechick lmao. He has a public Instagram to which I've been posted a couple times (including for a Valentines Day post). Then secondly, I actually am very serious about rethinking where this is going and I am not the kind of person that gives ultimatums. I wouldnt feel happy OR satisfied if he agreed to find a place together at this point. I just want honesty like WHY he keeps doing what he did and how he ACTUALLY cares. That seems like base level respect.
This might be a bit of an underwhelming update but he called me this morning to see if I was still upset and we had an hourlong conversation. I wasnt able to go into it with any kind of plan but it ended with me saying I think it's better off he doesnt come to my cousins wedding with me, and I need more time to think things through, kind of like a break. He asked where it was coming from and did not link it at all to the fact that the housing thing upset me. I told him straightup I've been ready to take our relationship to the next step for a while now and I dont feel he is there yet.
To that, once I explained, he insisted that each year that he renewed his lease it was just because we hadnt found a place together or didnt have a solid plan. He almost really convinced me that it was my fault each time but I thought about it and each time, I always had it written months and months in advance that his lease was ending soon and would talk to him about looking at places only for him to brush it off and make an excuse about being busy and he would look later or "we'll burn that bridge when we get to it". So I felt like I was being blamed for all of this misery and lack of communication which felt unfair.
I basically decided I need time to my own to process things. I can't even tell if this was a breakup because it didnt really feel like it, but he agreed to give me space and said to come talk to him when im ready again. I dont really know what to do next anymore. If I never contact him again, it just ends like that?
#19
AITA For Not Wanting To Use A Bidet Every Time I Pee And Feeling Micromanaged About Toilet Paper?
My husband (23M) and I (24F) have lived together for 1.5 years since we got married in 2024. The topic of conversation has come up before, less about toilet paper and more just upset with me that I don’t use the bidet.
Today, he got upset with me over how much toilet paper I use, as the toilet got clogged. I explained to him that I didn’t use an abnormal amount (I just went pee) and that I did notice the water in the toilet was low before I went, so maybe it was already clogged. He responded by saying that I need to use less toilet paper and start using the bidet instead. But, as a woman and with my anatomy, I just find using the bidet when I pee an inconvenience. It’s great if you’re on your period, etc, but for daily pee usage, I don’t want to be more wet than I already was. I explained that using the bidet would just cause me to use more toilet paper as I have more to dry off and he got upset saying that I’m “being too defensive.” He said that’s not the case, and I should be using less toilet paper, but the bidet we have just sprays too much and doesn’t angle right + we have a high toilet and I’m short so it’s just kind of sucky for me to try and use.
Whatever though right? I told him that I would try to use less toilet paper being considerate of how he feels, and he said “well I’m sure I’ll notice then.” Why are we keeping an eye on the toilet paper? He said that we go through 2-4 rolls a week, which I think is pretty normal for two people, but that he “should notice we aren’t going through so much” since I said I would try to use less.
Overall this just made me feel a bit micromanaged and gave me a bit of anxiety. I don’t want to have to think about that stuff… I just want to pee when I need to and have literally zero concern about this stuff.
Was my defensiveness out of line? Am I the jerk here? I explained to him the bidet situation, told him I would try to use less TP, but that I don’t think it’s fair to “monitor” the toilet paper, etc. He said I’m too “sensitive” about these things. He also made a statement about how he’s just annoyed / frustrated because “white people won’t use bidets,” (he’s Asian), but it’s not even like that. I use it for other things when I need to, just not on the daily.
#20
AITA For Giving My Partner The Silent Treatment While They Cook Dinner?
I 29F and my husband 34M have been together for 10 years, married for 7 years. Whenever I ask my husband to cook he makes it so much harder than it needs to be. He'll ask me a million questions about the dish and it almost feels easier to do it myself. He has done this for years. We have a 3 year old and a newborn now and they need almost constant attention, feeding, changing, help with the bathroom, etc. When he is tasked with doing the cooking now I just ignore his questions because I'm dealing with the kids. If he gets upset I just tell him "Figure it out, you're a 34 year old man."
So am I the jerk for not helping him with dinner?
Edit: A common question is if I don't eat/complain about what he makes. Absolutely not. I either eat it or eat snacks. We have both made dishes that didn't turn out well and end up eating snacks or cereal when that happens with no judgements. Sometimes I under cook the rice and sometimes he burns the chicken. No biggie, accidents happen.
Explore more of these tags
Related on Bored Panda
