Wife Confronts Husband About His ‘Work Wife,’ He Loses It

Work makes up a huge portion of your day, so it’s only natural that you get close to some of your colleagues as you spend so much time interacting with them. However, there’s always a line that shouldn’t be crossed. Some coworkers don’t see those personal boundaries and become ‘work spouses,’ blurring the lines between friendship, professionalism, and romance.

Redditor u/Honeybellmama went viral after opening up online about how her husband’s ‘work wife’ has been undermining their marriage for years. Now, she finally confronted her partner about what’s been going on, including what may have looked like an emotional affair. You’ll find the full story below.

Bored Panda got in touch with the author of the viral story, u/Honeybellmama, and she was kind enough to answer our questions about what happened, what the future might hold, and whether it’s okay to have ‘work spouses’ at all. Scroll down for our full interview with her.

It’s natural to become friends with your colleagues because you spend so much time together. However, some people cross the line

Man and woman in business attire walking and laughing, illustrating the concept of a "work wife".

Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)

A woman opened up on how concerned she is about her husband being so close to his ‘work wife’ who keeps undermining their marriage

Text about a husband's 'work wife' making his real wife feel excluded, shared on a discussion forum.

Text about a woman feeling like an outsider due to a work relationship.

Text recounts tension between a man, his wife, and a "work wife" over an anniversary mug thrown away.

Text detailing the intrusive actions of a 'work wife,' affecting a man's actual wife.

Man and woman working closely on a laptop in an office setting, illustrating the concept of a "work wife.

Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text about a husband's obliviousness to the impact of his work wife's comments on his real wife.

Text expressing frustration about the insidious work wife influencing a man's life and making his real wife feel like an outsider.

Text about a "work wife" influencing a marriage, making the real wife feel excluded and frustrated.

Text describing a tense office scene where a "work wife" surprises a man's real wife with a birthday cake.

A woman feeling sad and overwhelmed, covering her face with her hands, lying on a sofa.

Image credits: Hrant Khachatryan / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text expressing a wife's concern over marital issues involving a 'work wife' and feeling like an outsider.

Text describing the husband's work wife sabotaging their marriage.

She added a bit more context as the story went viral

Text about a man declining a promotion to stay on the same team as his work wife, with leadership experience mentioned.

Text message about a workplace incident involving a broken mug and an office aesthetic "joke" from a work wife.

Image credits: Honeybellmama

“If these things were done to you, how would you feel? And if you’re not comfortable with it, your spouse probably isn’t either”

Redditor u/Honeybellmama explained to Bored Panda that things took a positive turn in the end. “Ultimately, my husband realized that things had crossed a line. He came and talked to me and we are trying to work things out,” she told us.

“I really think that Sarah just had a crush on my husband or just liked the fact that he appreciated her attention. I’m not her so I can’t give a real reason. Some people are just disrespectful,” the author mused about the reasons ‘Sarah’ ignored so many boundaries.

We asked u/Honeybellmama whether she plans to confront ‘Sarah’ about her behavior.

“I don’t plan on confronting. Sarah, well I do believe she’s the problem. It won’t do any good. It would be like talking to a brick wall.”

Bored Panda was also curious about the author’s thoughts on ‘work spouses’ and how people can enforce healthier boundaries with them.

“I think workplace spouses are kind of disrespectful. Ultimately my advice to any couple is just to make it a hard boundary to begin with. That way you don’t have to dance around it later,” she explained.

“The best way to have healthy boundaries is to reflect on your own actions. If these things were done to you, how would you feel? And if you’re not comfortable with it, your spouse probably isn’t either.”

Couple embracing in bed, highlighting intimate relationship dynamics.

Image credits: Claudia Love / unsplash (not the actual photo)

While some people are unfaithful because their needs aren’t met, others do so to increase their self-esteem or simply because they have the option to cheat

There is a huge difference between friendship and romance, but that line is sometimes difficult to see when you spend a lot of time around people.

Probably nobody would be mad at their partner for having good platonic relationships with people at work. It would be incredibly isolating and lonely otherwise, which could impact other parts of their life, as well as their job performance.

That being said, there’s a problem if you’re more emotionally invested in your colleagues than your partner, constantly flirting with your coworkers and enjoying all the attention that you’re getting.

It’s natural to enjoy other people’s attention, sure, but if you’re married or in a long-term relationship, you should want that romantic connection with your partner, not other people.

However, if you don’t, there might be some pressing issues in your relationship that you need to address. Things won’t get better if you ignore those problems. Getting in touch with a therapist who specializes in couples counseling might be a good move.

There are a few main reasons why people cheat on their partners. Very often, there’s some unmet need in their relationship at home. However, that doesn’t justify stepping out on your partner.

Verywell Mind states that 40% of married couples are affected by infidelity. Some of the main reasons why someone might decide to choose that route include unhappiness emotionally or sexually, a lack of commitment to their partner, and the desire for revenge.

Other people might cheat because they might have low self-esteem and want to feel young, desired, and capable. Still, others cheat on their partners simply because they have the opportunity to do so or have poor boundaries.

“Having an affair, especially an emotional affair, is much easier than in the past, and social media sites have been implicated in many affairs and divorces. Internet infidelity or ‘online cheating’ is still cheating, even if the two people never met face to face.”

Man with smiling woman, representing work-wife scenario, both laughing indoors.

Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Emotional affairs, as well as cheating among coworkers, are fairly common, unfortunately

According to the Cooper Trachtenberg Law Group, many people seek trust or validation outside of their marriage. “Emotional affairs can be just as damaging as physical ones. They often reveal underlying insecurities or commitment issues in those who engage in them.”

One of the signs that your partner may be having an emotional affair is that they get very defensive when you ask them about their relationship with the other person. What’s more, they’ll often refuse to discuss the other person with you.

The Law Group points out that workplace cheating is fairly common because people spend a lot of time with their coworkers. Astoundingly, 44% of cheating men had affairs with someone from their workplace.

Meanwhile, research shows that while men are more likely to engage in sexual infidelity, women are more likely to take part in emotional affairs.

Around 91.6% of women have admitted they have had an emotional affair, while 78.6% of men have admitted to the same thing. On the flip side, 20% of men admitted they had had intimate relations with people other than their spouse, while 13% of women said they had done the same.

PR Newswire reports that, based on a study from the Journal of Sex Research, 31% of all affairs happen between coworkers.

Men in trade professions (such as carpenters, plumbers, and electricians) and in IT are more prone to cheating. In contrast, women who work in education and medical professions are more likely to be unfaithful.

What do you think about ‘work spouses,’ dear Pandas? How would you react if you found out that someone at work claims to be your partner’s ‘work wife’ or ‘work husband’? Have you ever had a ‘work spouse’? How did that affect your relationship at home? Let us know in the comments!

Here’s how the internet reacted to the tense situation. Many people suggested that the woman’s husband was at fault, too

Comment highlighting relationship interference, discussing a husband's allowance of behavior impacting marriage.

Reddit comment giving advice on dealing with a problematic work relationship affecting marriage.

Text describing a "work wife" who intrudes into a man's life, affecting his real wife's feelings and relationship.

Text conversation discussing a husband's awareness of his work wife's influence on his wife.

Text comment discussing relationship dynamics, mentioning a husband prioritizing a "work wife" over his real wife.

Reddit comment saying, "He isn't blind, he is having an affair," related to work wife scenario.

Online comment discussing husband's behavior towards 'work wife' situation.

Comment discussing the presence of a “work wife” causing emotional strain in a marriage.

Text discussing relationship dynamics, highlighting lack of trust and respect, and the concept of a "work wife" affecting marriage.

Text post advising on dealing with a "work wife" who affects marriage dynamics.

Text exchange discussing how a work wife affects the real wife's relationship.

Comment discusses relationship issues involving a work wife, trust, and marriage advice.

Comment discussing a man's ex-husband and another person already being together, addressing a "work wife" situation.

Text exchange discussing a husband's actions towards his wife involving a 'work wife' situation.

Comment from a therapist discussing boundaries in relationships concerning the work wife scenario.

Comment criticizing a 'work wife' for making the real wife feel insecure and urging the husband to prioritize his marriage.

Text discussing the stress caused by a work wife, suggesting emotional affair impact on a real wife.

Comment about a man's attention to a work wife, suggesting retaliation.

Comment on Reddit thread discussing the impact of a work wife on a man's real marriage.

The author shared a very important update after having confronted her husband about ‘Sarah’

Woman sitting on bed with a mug, deep in thought, symbolizing emotional distance caused by an insidious work wife.

Image credits: Kinga Howard / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text update about the impact of a 'work wife' on a marriage, highlighting emotional strain from online responses.

Text about sharing Reddit stories on TikTok and needing a place to talk.

Text update about a husband, his work colleague Sarah, and their message exchanges concerning work ethics and intelligence.

Text description discussing emails and devices, related to a "work wife" affecting a relationship.

Person using a smartphone while working on a laptop, highlighting the concept of a 'work wife' in professional settings.

Image credits: Maxim Ilyahov / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text about a man having daily lunches with a colleague, making his wife feel excluded.

Text excerpt about a husband discussing hypothetical scenarios with a "work wife" that upset his real wife.

Text conversation about a broken mug, discussing photo gifts being "corny," highlighting work-wife dynamics.

Text excerpt discussing confrontation about an insidious work wife affecting a marriage.

Man and woman in discussion at a table, blurred background, focus on "work wife" relationship dynamic.

Image credits: charlesdeluvio / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text excerpt about a 'work wife' gaining attention in an office setting, impacting relationships.

Text discussing a man admitting to being too involved with a work colleague, feeling addicted to the attention.

Text about a man's emotional affair, mentioning he had two major women in his life, affecting his real wife.

Text expressing feelings of exclusion by a man's 'work wife'.

Man in deep thought, resting his face in his hands, conveying the feeling of an outsider in a relationship.

Image credits: Pablo Merchán Montes / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text about tension caused by a man's close work relationship, creating feelings of alienation for his actual spouse.

Text image expressing emotional distress and decision to leave.

Text describing a woman feeling like an outsider in her marriage, expressing her emotional struggles.

Text sharing feelings of being less alone and promising updates on a post, related to a ‘work wife’ issue.

Text about "work wife" causing tension in a marriage, leading to confrontation and staying with MIL.

She then answered some internet users’ questions

Text conversation discussing family dynamics and the husband's behavior related to the work wife issue.

Discussion about relationship issues and advice on Reddit comments.

Here’s the advice some readers gave the author after reading her update

Reddit comment discussing work wife and emotional affair concerns in relationships.

Text box discussing emotional affairs, marriage vows, and the book "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass.

Text from a Reddit user discussing emotional affair and denial.

Reddit comment discussing emotional affair and relationship issues with a "work wife.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a husband prioritizing a friendship over marriage, causing tension with his real wife.

Comment about a "work wife" causing relationship issues.

Comment discussing the unsettling idea of having a "work wife" or "work husband.

Text screenshot discussing a husband's affair and advice on ending the relationship, referencing a "work wife.

Text post expressing frustration about a 'work wife' making a wife feel like an outsider in her marriage.

Comment on man's engagement with work wife, suggesting protection of peace.

Text discussing marital issues related to a "work wife," suggesting divorce and confrontation.

Image credits: Honeybellmama

Poll Question

Total votes ·

Thanks! Check out the results:

Total votes ·

Newsletter

Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls

Subscribe

By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.

Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News!

Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!