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People Are Applauding This Mom For Teaching Her Daughters That Virginity Doesn’t Exist
Interview With Author
Recently, TikTok mom-fluencer Nevada Shareef asked parents something that resonated with many. “Name something about the way you raised your kids that people think is weird but you think is healthy,” she announced in a clip, excited to hear different parenting styles.
And one mom named Cayce LaCorte saw it as a perfect moment to share her illuminating message. In a video that has been watched over 2.2 million times, Cayce debunked the virginity myth, explaining how she has raised her five daughters to believe there’s no such thing.
“It is a patriarchal concept used to control women and serves no purpose,” she stated. Cayce’s message immediately sparked a conversation among parents online, with many realizing the importance of what she has said.
So let’s see Cayce’s TikTok video right below and let us know whether you agree with the mom of 5 in the comment section.
RELATED:
Cayce LaCorte, the mom of 5 daughters, has recently gone viral for debunking the virginity myth in her TikTok video
Image credits: Cayce LaCorte
Cayce’s clip has been watched 2.2 million times already
@book_mama##stitch with @nevadashareef ##virginityisamyth##madmoms##fuckthepatriarchy♬ original sound – Your Mom
Initially, another TikToker, Nevada Shareef, asked people to share their parenting styles that may look odd to others but are in fact good for their kids
Image credits: book_mama
And Cayce replied with a strong statement
Image credits: book_mama
Bored Panda reached out to Cayce Lacorte, the incredible mom of five daughters who range in age from 7 to 16. The way she debunked the virginity myth in a viral TikTok clip resonated with many people and Cayce said she received so many comments from both women and men saying that they had “’never thought about it’ and how as soon as I brought it up, they whole-heartedly agreed.”
“It’s such an ingrained part of our society that most people don’t even register it anymore but the minute you bring it up, they’re like, ‘Yeah, that’s bullshit,'” Cayce told us.
Image credits: book_mama
Image credits: book_mama
The mom and social media influencer better known by her username @book_mama on TikTok said that “There is still so much pressure placed on young men and women surrounding virginity that if we remove that thinking, it opens up a whole other avenue of thought and healthy conversation.”
When asked whether she received negative reaction for her parenting style, Cayce said that fortunately, the majority of the comments are “supportive and amazing.” However, “there are a handful of people who think I’m going to wreak havoc on their way of life, and to be honest I think a little havoc could be good for them.”
Cayce explained that these are primarily very religious people who think she’s “going against the Bible” or that she is “attacking their parenting style.”
Image credits: book_mama
Image credits: book_mama
For all the parents out there who struggle to touch sensitive topics with their kids, Cayce suggested to tell your kids that you’re uncomfortable because “brutal honesty works wonders.”
“It could be something as simple as, ‘I’m not super comfortable talking about this, but those are my issues, not yours. I want you to know you can come to me so just be patient and we’ll get through this together.’”
Image credits: book_mama
Image credits: book_mama
The woman also believes that there’s no crime in admitting your faults to your kids. “It actually can help them see you as a pestrson, not just a parent, and trust you more. I tell my girls that I’m sorry all the time. If I lose my temper, I’m fir to stop and admit I’m stressed about something else, it’s not fair to take it out on them, I’m sorry, and I’ll try and do better next time.”
Image credits: book_mama
Image credits: book_mama
Cayce believes that “the sooner we stop trying to prove to our kids that we’re perfect, the sooner they’ll accept and love their own flaws.”
Cayce also said that she gets criticism for her views
Image credits: book_mama
Image credits: book_mama
In her piece “Going Viral” written shortly after Cayce’s TikTok was all over the news lately, she described the experience as “a scary thing.”
She told Bored Panda that as a fiction writer, she has always dreamed of her “big break.” “In all of those fantasy scenarios, I get an agent, a publishing deal, and have plenty of time to market and promote my book, then eventually (hopefully) success.”
Image credits: book_mama
Her strong message sparked questions, but Cayce was happy to elaborate on it further in another video
@book_mamaReply to @awildfemale I hope this helps in trying to explain these tough topics to you kids. #virginityisamyth♬ original sound – Your Mom
Image credits: book_mama
But, “this recognition came out of nowhere. While I appreciate all the love and support I’ve gotten, it just snuck up on me. I have a hard time accepting a compliment, much less the raging validation that’s happening right now.”
Image credits: book_mama
Image credits: book_mama
At this point, Cayce said that she’s afraid she likes it too much. “I’ll get a big head and full of myself; if I don’t accept the attention and opportunities it brings, I’ll be missing out on something wonderful.”
Image credits: book_mama
Image credits: book_mama
“We all have our own hang-ups, and I guess mine is loving the support/validation but being terrified I’m not good enough to deserve it,” Cayce, who’s also a smashing writer and is currently working on her parenting book, concluded.
Image credits: book_mama
Image credits: book_mama
Image credits: book_mama
Image credits: book_mama
Image credits: book_mama
Cayce also makes sure her kids get technical names for the parts of their bodies, and that they understand it’s “OK to cause a scene if they feel threatened or even just scared.”
Another person asked how to discuss “whether it’s the right time” with your kids and this is what Cayce had to say about it
@book_mamaReply to @meghancarlisle7 I hope this answers your ?? I’m totally not a professional it’s just one ladies opinion.♬ original sound – Your Mom
Image credits: Cayce LaCorte
Many people praised Cayce for opening such an important conversation
What do you think ?
Deborah B 4 years ago
The whole idea of virginity is to allow men to control the paternity of a womans children, by controlling access to her body. In this very dated view of the world, a woman is property, first of her father, and then of the husband to whom she is given by her father (who gives this woman in marriage?). Pre paternity tests and pregnacy tests, if a woman is not a virgin (or might not be a virgin) she is 'ruined' for marriage. Because she is not a person, she is only the means to get children, and the husband now has no proof that she is not already pregnant. A man who insists on the value of 'purity' or 'virginity' is seeing the woman as property, not as a person.
Katchen 4 years ago
“Who gives this woman in marriage” is the worst phrase. One of my GFs was walked down the aisle by both of her parents and her father answered, “her mother and I do” like it’s somehow better to be owned by both your parents and not just your dad. My husband and I walked down the aisle together because neither of us was a possession to be given away and we entered into partnership together.
Load More Replies...
SuperTaino 4 years ago
Good on her, I always thought virginity was ridiculous, I wish more people would hold this thought too, virginity, I think for both sexes, male and female , is just in place to hold you back and make you feel bad about a perfectly normal and natural thing everyone does at some point
juice 4 years ago
yeah. guys are shamed for being virgins, girls are shamed for not being virgins. who cares! it changes nothing!
Load More Replies...
Si 4 years ago (edited)
In a patriarchy, assets are passed down the male blood line, therefore it’s imperative men know that their sons are theirs, so the risk of women having sex before or outside marriage had to be prevented via all kinds of social engineering ranging from child marriage, reduced liberty, chaperones, covering, social stigma, state-sanctioned corporal punishments, public shaming, disfigurements, FGM, shunning and destitution and capital punishments ranging from honour killing, drowning to live burial and stoning. When you call a woman a sl*t, sl*g, hussy, wh*re, b*tch, or indulge in victim blaming, you’re part of a chain going back tens of thousands of years.
Freya the Wanderer 4 years ago
A s**t is just a woman who has the sexual morals of a man. 😉
Load More Replies...
4 years ago
MEN IN THIS COMMENT THREAD PLEASE LISTEN: we are not talking about you specifically. you may not do these things. a lot of people may not do these things, but there are still a lot of people who have this mindset and still treat women this way. by getting all offended, you are making fools out of yourselves, sorry to be abrasive, but it's true. You may not do these things- cool, thank you for not having this mindset, women everywhere appreciate it- but getting mad at someone in the comments because you've "never done this" and "think it's ridiculous" makes you seem like an asshole, and fun fact, just because you don't do this doesn't mean it doesn't exsist. thank you for listening to my ted talk.
Piet Puk 4 years ago
Wonderfull! American concepts like purity rings and pledges totally creep me out.
Viviane 4 years ago
That's putting value on a girl's sex life. As with the wise mother, better to give them (and boys, too) some options and discuss how to handle different situations. I have a lovely memory of a gym class where one of 3 not-ready-for-sex girls asked the sexually active 4th girl: "Do you like sex with a guy?" and she answered, "Well yes, as long as he gets it in the right hole!" Very fun answer and no judgment in either direction.
Load More Replies...
Colin L 4 years ago
Brava to this mom! I don't understand how people think teaching prudery is somehow more healthy. Creating mental barriers around something so fundamentally human is crazy! I know that it comes from patriarchal religions and cultures as a means of social control... but lets evolve our thinking already!
Cynthia Bonville 4 years ago
Virginity is also code for innocence/ignorance. Guess what? Being ignorant (through lack of experience/education) just makes you exploitable, education and awareness limits that. Devaluing virginity means that women are valued for themselves instead of how they can be used.
El Dee 4 years ago
I didn't understand until she explained. But now it seems so obvious I can't understand why I didn't realise this on my own. Yes, there is education on the mechanics of how humans work biologically and yes there is education on the social aspects of relationships too. But the word is meaningless, it is ONLY used to describe women (in certain societies) to make them somehow have higher worth that others and, allegedly, more desirable. This is to control the others and refuse to allow THEM to control THEIR bodies. This is a brilliant concept, thank you for sharing!!
Deborah B 4 years ago
The whole idea of virginity is to allow men to control the paternity of a womans children, by controlling access to her body. In this very dated view of the world, a woman is property, first of her father, and then of the husband to whom she is given by her father (who gives this woman in marriage?). Pre paternity tests and pregnacy tests, if a woman is not a virgin (or might not be a virgin) she is 'ruined' for marriage. Because she is not a person, she is only the means to get children, and the husband now has no proof that she is not already pregnant. A man who insists on the value of 'purity' or 'virginity' is seeing the woman as property, not as a person.
Katchen 4 years ago
“Who gives this woman in marriage” is the worst phrase. One of my GFs was walked down the aisle by both of her parents and her father answered, “her mother and I do” like it’s somehow better to be owned by both your parents and not just your dad. My husband and I walked down the aisle together because neither of us was a possession to be given away and we entered into partnership together.
Load More Replies... SuperTaino 4 years ago
Good on her, I always thought virginity was ridiculous, I wish more people would hold this thought too, virginity, I think for both sexes, male and female , is just in place to hold you back and make you feel bad about a perfectly normal and natural thing everyone does at some point
juice 4 years ago
yeah. guys are shamed for being virgins, girls are shamed for not being virgins. who cares! it changes nothing!
Load More Replies... Si 4 years ago (edited)
In a patriarchy, assets are passed down the male blood line, therefore it’s imperative men know that their sons are theirs, so the risk of women having sex before or outside marriage had to be prevented via all kinds of social engineering ranging from child marriage, reduced liberty, chaperones, covering, social stigma, state-sanctioned corporal punishments, public shaming, disfigurements, FGM, shunning and destitution and capital punishments ranging from honour killing, drowning to live burial and stoning. When you call a woman a sl*t, sl*g, hussy, wh*re, b*tch, or indulge in victim blaming, you’re part of a chain going back tens of thousands of years.
Freya the Wanderer 4 years ago
A s**t is just a woman who has the sexual morals of a man. 😉
Load More Replies... 4 years ago
MEN IN THIS COMMENT THREAD PLEASE LISTEN: we are not talking about you specifically. you may not do these things. a lot of people may not do these things, but there are still a lot of people who have this mindset and still treat women this way. by getting all offended, you are making fools out of yourselves, sorry to be abrasive, but it's true. You may not do these things- cool, thank you for not having this mindset, women everywhere appreciate it- but getting mad at someone in the comments because you've "never done this" and "think it's ridiculous" makes you seem like an asshole, and fun fact, just because you don't do this doesn't mean it doesn't exsist. thank you for listening to my ted talk.
Piet Puk 4 years ago
Wonderfull! American concepts like purity rings and pledges totally creep me out.
Viviane 4 years ago
That's putting value on a girl's sex life. As with the wise mother, better to give them (and boys, too) some options and discuss how to handle different situations. I have a lovely memory of a gym class where one of 3 not-ready-for-sex girls asked the sexually active 4th girl: "Do you like sex with a guy?" and she answered, "Well yes, as long as he gets it in the right hole!" Very fun answer and no judgment in either direction.
Load More Replies... Colin L 4 years ago
Brava to this mom! I don't understand how people think teaching prudery is somehow more healthy. Creating mental barriers around something so fundamentally human is crazy! I know that it comes from patriarchal religions and cultures as a means of social control... but lets evolve our thinking already!
Cynthia Bonville 4 years ago
Virginity is also code for innocence/ignorance. Guess what? Being ignorant (through lack of experience/education) just makes you exploitable, education and awareness limits that. Devaluing virginity means that women are valued for themselves instead of how they can be used.
El Dee 4 years ago
I didn't understand until she explained. But now it seems so obvious I can't understand why I didn't realise this on my own. Yes, there is education on the mechanics of how humans work biologically and yes there is education on the social aspects of relationships too. But the word is meaningless, it is ONLY used to describe women (in certain societies) to make them somehow have higher worth that others and, allegedly, more desirable. This is to control the others and refuse to allow THEM to control THEIR bodies. This is a brilliant concept, thank you for sharing!!
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