Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
41 Women Who Looked Into Their Men’s Backgrounds Share Their Wild And Devastating Discoveries
Dating can feel like a game of roulette. You take a chance with fate, hoping to meet the right one. Kudos to you if it happens, but it turns out to be a disastrous episode for many people.
These women would know, and they were brave enough to share their dating horror stories on Threads. Many of these involve shocking discoveries about the men they hoped to create a romantic spark with, only to end up hurt, jaded, and back to square one.
While this list isn’t meant to generalize the entire male species, it does put men in a bad light. Gents, we can definitely do better.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I did a little digging on this guy my friend was dating… and let’s just say I was NOT ready for what I found. Buckle up. 🧵 🕵🏽♀️He told her he lived with his sister to help her out because she’s a single mom. Seemed sweet, right? Well…Something wasn’t adding up. No trace of the ‘sister’ online. No family photos. Just them and the kids.So, I checked public records. Marriage license? ✅ Shared last name? ✅ Joint mortgage?
Sis wasn’t sis. She was his WIFE. And those weren’t his nieces and nephews. They were HIS KIDS. This man looked me in the eyes and said he was ‘helping family.’ Helping? Sir, that’s YOUR family 💀.
Moral of the story? If something feels off, look deeper. Some of these men deserve Oscars for their performances. Stay vigilant, ladies.
Pandemonium 1 month ago
If you kept digging you might've found out she was his wife AND his sister.
RELATED:
#2
Years ago started dating a guy I met on Facebook. We had went on a few dates, even hung at his house. His car had a battery issue and I gave him a ride to work even. About 3 weeks into us dating I start getting a bunch of likes & comments on my TikTok videos from a random girl. Then she dm me.. yall this girl was his side chick, he was MARRIED.
She had recently given birth & the baby passed away in the hospital. He had lied & posted the baby telling people it’s his sister's baby, even had his wife believing his sister on his dad’s side had just had a baby he had to go see in the hospital & had passed. 😑
Sidechick proceeds to tell me I’m 1 of many and sent receipts y’all!!!! I sent that man the convo and blocked him so quick!! The side chick contacted me days later cussing me out cus he was mad at her now for telling me lol. She had just wanted to tell me she was # 1 and that I had to know my place if I was gonna be with him too! lol I blocked her a*s too!
#3
Y'ALL READY? This guy would take me to his house and then back home. (I didn't have a car then.) He said he was divorced. About 3 months later, I was there again, and noticed a large envelope. He told me it was his final divorce papers. PAUSE..... Long story short, I found out his PREGNANT WIFE was in the hospital on high risk bed rest. That's how he was able to have me in the house so freely.
That was my last time at his house. Then, he started stalking me and popping up at my JOB, all while his wife was still fighting for her life and their baby in the hospital.
bElLa sTairZz 1 month ago
im speechless... how someone could ever do that is beyond me, never marrying
#4
Googled a guy I went on a few dates with. Found an article with his mug shot detailing how he went to his wife’s work, had his 6yr old daughter with him. Threatened their lives if she left him. Used daughter as a shield when cops surrounded his car in the parking lot. Never blocked anyone that fast.
#5
I was the wife in this scenario with him for 9 years when I found out he was living a double life. That man was my world and I didn’t even really know him. The audacity to take 9 years from someone you don’t even like… idk why they don’t just leave us alone and go play with each other 🤷🏻♀️
#6
Was dating a guy, but it seemed sus. I even said “this seems weird, I’m out” but he begged me to let him work on it. Okay. One day I was out and about and this girl was chatting about not being able to find an apartment and I said “aw, girl, I’m a property manager, let me help you” and she proceeded to tell me all about her and her boyfriend… who also happened to be the guy I was dating. The universe just put her right in front of me like that.
She cried and yelled and told me how I was the second woman he had done that with. I told her we both deserve better and no, I’m not interested in him having a relationship with both of us, and I never messaged again. I heard they moved in together in January. 🤷🏼♀️
BeesEelsAndPups 1 month ago
My ex-wife (the one who sort-of broke up with me on facebook), is now back with the guy she was engaged to before we met. Their engagement had originally broken off because he got her friend pregnant while she was planning their wedding. When I was in college, I took back a girlfriend who had cheated on me when we dated in high school. I guess the heart wants what it wants. (FYI: That girl cheated on me again, and my heart is stupid AF).
#7
I'm gonna date myself here, but I found out my ex was serially cheating on me from a friend since social media wasn't really a thing yet. (2002 ish)
A guy in our friend group made a very heavy handed pass at me while at a party. I asked him why on earth he thought that was appropriate. His response?
"Oh, I thought y'all were in an open relationship since he's been sleeping with different chicks every time we go out." Every. Time. He'd been telling people I was cool with it. I was not.
BeesEelsAndPups 1 month ago
I don't have social media at all, but my ex-wife is on all the platforms. I found out she was going to leave me from a friend because she changed her facebook status to "separated" before she spoke with me about it. He called and was like "Dude I just saw on facebook, are you okay?" I had no idea what he was talking about, lol. It's funny now, I wasn't so amused then.
#8
A friend was dating a guy for a couple of months, he told her he’d been married with kids and they all died in a car crash. Turns out they were very much alive and he was cheating on his wife.
#9
I had a friend that had a similar story. My brother had been friends with him and swore he was married. He said they were divorced. He convinced her to go on a trip with him across state lines (she was 17, he was 20?). Took her to a hotel and beat her unconscious. She escaped out the bathroom window while he was bringing in a buyer. She barely got away. Apparently it is how he and his wife made their living.
#10
I had a guy tell me he had a roommate. Found out it was actually his fiancée, and his “guys surfing trip” to Costa Rica was actually him coming home to Jersey FOR HIS WEDDING. This mfer had me being the other woman long distance and I had no clue.
Oh, and he was a coworker. Learned that lesson the hard way.
#11
My ex-husband did this when we were still together, got a GF after sending our 2 kids & I on a holiday to see our families & left us stranded with no money. The story he told her about the belongings & photos of the kids? It was his brothers house, the kids were his niece & nephew 💀😂.
#12
My family threw a surprise birthday party for my cousin. Cuz brought a girl she liked as her date. I brought a guy I knew for a while and was casually dating. When my cousin and her date came in, he told me he'd met her date before and they had some mutual friends. During the party Cuz brought her date over and introduced her to us, her date says hi to my date etc.
He left before I did (which I knew beforehand), but on his way out he made a beeline to Cuz's table to say bye to her date. I thought that was odd. The next day I have lunch with Cuz and her date, date turns to me and says "you know he's married right?" Pulled out her phone and asks in a group chat, they confirm. Not only did he tell me he was divorced but I'd slept at his house before.
#13
When we were still together, my ex would tell women I was anyone from just a roommate to an ex that he was living with to “help” with bills. The affair that ended our marriage was when she showed up at my door because something felt off. She saw me with her own eyes & I confirmed with receipts that we were still married & together. She chose to stay with him after I kicked him to the curb & divorced him. I have it on good authority that karma came for them both. I’m thankful she took out my 🗑️.
#14
I literally found out last night (through my own sleuthing) this guy who tries to keep leading me on and has been for years is married!!! And has been for at least 4 years, during which he’s behaved towards me like a single guy (albeit a single guy with very little free time). 🤮 I only wish I’d put in the time online to figure out why it felt sus, when I basically been over backwards to be available to meet him, but he’d always bail or not show. My friends called him Mr ghost. Dirty rotten tool.
#15
Talked to a guy for a few months, we lived like an hour away and worked different schedules so just never found a chance to meet up. One day he mentions his kid… umm what kid??
Oh his two kids and wife he lives with. He thought I wouldn’t mind. Like wtf.
#16
A few years ago this guy wanted to date me, i told him i wasnt looking to date but we could be friends and get to know each other see what happened. Told me he lived with his grandparents and something seemed off, my mom did some digging.. he lived with his wife and her grandparents. Not ex with from years ago that he had kids with. Current wife and small kids. House was in her and grandparents names lol 😂
Snazzy Smurf 1 month ago
There are at least a set of grandparents in this story. Good on mom for finding out the truth.
#17
A friend was staying with me while going through divorce. She started dating some guy she met, and he had some sob story about how they couldn’t get a place together because he was living with his baby mama because she couldn’t pay the bills without him. Her father owned the house they lived in (friend knew this). He said he -would- move out, but he couldn’t get approved on applications due to a “petty theft when he was 17”. 🙄
After hearing this story several times from her I told her “I know better, court and arrest records are public information in this state” (we were not in her home state). This guy had a slew of arrests for a*sault, armed robery, and serious drug charges. And several lawsuits for debt, evictions, and claims for damage to rental properties. My friend was just an idiot and thought I was, too.
#18
The first guy I had a situationship after my marriage ended made a comment about his “roommate’s kids… I mean dogs” 👀 his roommate was his gf of 4 years whom he lived with. The “dogs” were her kids he was playing daddy for.
His car? Hers. His multiple jobs that kept him too busy to see me? Unemployment + video games. His trip to Anaheim to renew his licensing for work? His in-laws took them to Disneyland.
They will write whole novels with themselves as hero. Don’t ever take a man at his word.
#19
Met a guy and he seemed nice. Shortly after we met his ex-wife got messaged me, saying he was an ab*ser. When I brought it to his attention. He said she was a witch n wants to ruin his life. My dumb a*s gave him a chance anyway. Believing his stories of their marriage. Almost a year exactly to the day we met, he tried to k**l me. I had never been beaten so badly in my life. Then girls start sending me dms asking where he was n saying I had been ab*sing him. Wtf. He only did 59 days.
#20
I was talking to this guy on Twitter for about 6 weeks before we met. I didn’t mind cause it just felt good not to be pressured. He’d told me he was new to town (only been around for 5 months then) & was living with his aunt so wasn’t in a hurry to move out cause of housing costs.
It made sense, but something seemed off. The day we met I was with friends & one of them had a one-on-one with him where he told her he wasn’t married.
& she was convinced he was legit, but I wasn’t ‘cause his words & actions weren’t aligned. He was just acting sus. One day I’m talking to a male friend from the same place as this guy & because the name is a unique one, he goes, “But the kubby I know is married with two kids” & proceeds to show me a photo. Alas! It’s the same guy😄. Coincidentally, I’m telling my sister & she says this guy did same to her friend. Same story of living with his aunt & he never let her know where he was staying.
#21
I was seeing a guy and one night I went pulled up to his home and we were chilling in the car he tried to aggressively kiss me and i left and stopped talking to him.
A few months later he was on the news for kidnapping his ex from work, broke into a woman’s home and k**led her and placed her dog in a freezer and then unalived himself in jail.
Snazzy Smurf 1 month ago
Wow! Forget dodging a bu!!et, she dodged an entire train station with this one.
#22
I was with a guy for an entire year and met his whole family before finding out he was married 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
#23
So in the beginning of covid I met this guy online and we exchanged social media. Now this is on me, but I didn’t really bring up exchanging real numbers. I guess because I had gotten out of something and wasn’t expecting much. Long story short he kept saying he lives with his younger brother. And it would be weird if I came over so that’s why I couldn’t go. He lied about what city he was in, but one fine day his wife decides to msg me on instagram revealing everything.
#24
I met someone who just seemed off with a story he told me. I Googled him and the first thing that came up was the United States vs B.J. He told me he had lived in Florida for a few years. He didn’t tell me he was a guest of a Federal Penitentiary. For Child P*rnography. Then tried to blame his crime on his teenage son!
#25
Looked up this guy’s record. He had a record for DV. Against my better judgement I gave him a chance… he blew my phone up over 100 messages in 15 minutes because I was sleep. He called me every name in the book and told me we should still be friends because he neve disrespected me…. 6 months later he was arrested for breaking into his ex’s family home.
#26
I was dating a guy (I’m a single mom with one child) & I didn’t want any more children, but he had never had children and wanted children. We had long conversations about maybe having one more together. We were in a long distance relationship and he was supposed to be moving to where I live. Fast-forward turns out he was married and already had two children… 🙄
Annabel Again 1 month ago
Females, don’t get sucked into the trap of them, wanting a kid with you if it feels shady in anyway!!! Baby trapping is real and it’s f****d up
#27
Had a guy legit stalk me at my last gym. Thought I was crazy or overreacting, but naw, he was chasing me for months and even introduced me to his friends & we would all work out together at one point. Anyway, holidays rolled around and he started acting up saying it was bc they were the 1st without his dad. I believed him, but my friend said it was sus. She found out he was married and his wife was pregnant with their 3rd child 🤡.
#28
I was fortunate to know his real name. Googled it thoroughly and found out he's still a married man (told me a divorcee). I followed her wife on tiktok and matched his selfies+ one of wife videos, turning out they live under the same roof.
#29
A guy I was dating had a four for four…four kids and four baby mamas, but I only knew about 1! I couldn’t go to Wendy’s for a long time after him🤣😩
Oh, and he was homeless and the kids were in 4 different states. One day he told me his nephew was in the hospital, turned out to be one of his sons.
#30
An ex of mine tried to come back into my life but something just felt off. I knew I had to start googling. I found that his name (let’s say it was John) wasn’t spelled traditionally like if it was spelled “Jahn”. Once I found the *actual* spelling of his name I found his house, his baby momma that he said he hated, and allllllllll of his children living together under one roof!!! I even found what schools the kids go to. He was immediately blocked.
#31
I dated a guy who told me he moved in with his mom to help her out with some medical issues. So one day his mom and I were talking and she told me he moved in with her prior to her medical issue and that she’s been trying to get him to move his stuff out of the room. He owned his own company and would take receipts claiming to for tax purposes. Found out he hadn’t paid taxes in 7 years. We were staying on his boat at the docks and told me he was allowed to yet found out several months later he wasn’t allowed and they sent him a nasty letter warning him to stop. Etc all this was the same guy. I left and haven’t looked back.
#32
A friend in college moved in with a guy who said he lived with his dad and his wife was his ex wife and they just co parent. Nope. While friend was living in his dad’s home with him, his wife was living in their home still happily married to this guy.
#33
I figured out a guy I was talking to was still living with his ex (if they were even broken up) when they both posted the same robot vacuum on fb marketplace.
#34
I was talking to a guy on an app. Everything seemed great. He checked a lot of boxes, but he seemed a bit too eager to hurry up and move in with me, or for us to get a place together. So I decided to do a little digging, because I can. Turns out he’s a convicted chomo. And he’s homeless, which makes him non-compliant.
I told him I couldn’t date him, and blocked him.
#35
I was 19 or 20, seeing a very attractive guy who was dumb as rocks but the seggs was great, and I didnt want a serious relationship anyway so I dealt with lack of intellect. He was away a lot, “visiting his parents” a couple hours away. He would also take phone calls from “his mother” every single time we were together, and go into another room and close the door to speak to her. It felt off obvi but I was so young and naive.
Once he said I was coming with him to visit his parents. During dinner his mom said to him “it’s so amazing to see you sweetie, you never ever come see us!” I dropped my fork so loudly. I was so stunned. I demanded he drive me home, christ that lonnnng car ride with someone who already wasnt conversation material but now also was the reason I needed to go get tested, F THAT GUYYYY
DC 1 month ago
... if my Dad would call me on a date, I'd change the rooms, too, and avoid being listened to. Nothing that's really worth hiding, but also, it may be related to his medical issues, and is therefore considered a very private issue by me, which ... I keep private. But then again, I don't even date anybody, nor want to at the moment, ... and any really serious relationship would eventually make all that known to her as well anyway. But you don't start with, say (an example I'm just making up, this does not represent reality in any way), "Gotta talk to my Dad about how to get rid of a wart on his buttcheek, wanna join?", that's really ... off. Off-putting, off-horny'ing, off-any'ing, sort of.
#36
Was seeing a man long distance, he lied about his last name and the fact he was married with a baby on the way. While trying to tell me that he was in an open relationship, but if it was open, she would’ve known about me.
But when I confronted him when I found out that he had lied to me.
He tried to tell me that he didn’t know who I was forgetting that I made him open a gift on camera for me.
#37
Sounds like a guy I dated a couple of years ago. When I found out he was in fact married I was pissed. I confessed to his wife and apologized. I asked my Marine brother to kick his a*s (which he declined).
#38
Last ex told me at the beginning that he has 1 child from previous relations. Then “suddenly” appeared 3! From 2 different women.This gaslighter/liar told that I missunderstood🤣, he spoke about one living not far. I imagine to tell this to the another 2 that their dad cancelled them😊 to upgrade his value- of s**t. I didnt tell to not give them trauma, they already have this sh*tdad. He knew that he is this kind of man I would never even pay attention. Lies continued: same with divorces, said 1, were 2.
#39
My daddy told my mom this same s**t basically when they met. She was like 19/20. His best friend is who told my mom the truth about my dad and his "sister".
#40
My ex sociopath moved his new supply from another state, 10 minutes from my home. He thought somehow he could keep it secret.
#41
Was talking to a guy and went on a couple of dates.
He told me a bunch of lies.
I worked at the phone company and I had access to his records.
First, s**t credit with numerous shut offs. Called the job listed when he stated service. I asked to confirm employment. They laughed and told me he was fired for fraud. He said his mom owned a business. Found her number, she was an associate at a department store.
So….yeah.
What do you think ?
Neopet22 1 month ago (edited)
I was curious about this article from the title but it became another piece of women talking about cheating aholes. Please make the title actually related to what's in the article there was maybe 10 or less posts about actual background checks and the rest was finding out coincidentally that your partner has a family or gf. Also the grammar is so bad in those Reddit posts. I get that perhaps you don't want to edit them and just keep them as posted but maybe just choose the clearer ones then? I didn't get some of the last ones at all
Uncommon Boston 1 month ago
I had a background check app when I was dating. As soon as I found out his last name, I ran a background check. Uncovered a wide variety of lies. Judgements against them, leans on their home, wives, children, criminal charges, even jail time. I googled many of the "facts" they stated; one man didn't hold the job he said he did -- ever. There were recent, glowing newspaper articles about the man who had the job. I offered to show my current boyfriend his background report, he was mildly disguised, but understood.
Neopet22 1 month ago (edited)
I was curious about this article from the title but it became another piece of women talking about cheating aholes. Please make the title actually related to what's in the article there was maybe 10 or less posts about actual background checks and the rest was finding out coincidentally that your partner has a family or gf. Also the grammar is so bad in those Reddit posts. I get that perhaps you don't want to edit them and just keep them as posted but maybe just choose the clearer ones then? I didn't get some of the last ones at all
Uncommon Boston 1 month ago
I had a background check app when I was dating. As soon as I found out his last name, I ran a background check. Uncovered a wide variety of lies. Judgements against them, leans on their home, wives, children, criminal charges, even jail time. I googled many of the "facts" they stated; one man didn't hold the job he said he did -- ever. There were recent, glowing newspaper articles about the man who had the job. I offered to show my current boyfriend his background report, he was mildly disguised, but understood.
You May Like “Cheeks Sore From Laughing”: 30 Green Flags To Look For When Dating Man’s Refusal To Date Pregnant Woman Leads To Office Drama And Rumors Man Accuses “Terrible” Sister Of Prioritizing Her Dog’s Life Over His Career, Family Agrees
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Ilona Baliūnaitė
Gabija Palšytė
Related on Bored Panda
