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Women Are Posting Reasons Why They Don’t Take Their Husband’s Name, And Chrissy Teigen Has The Best Response
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Women Are Posting Reasons Why They Don’t Take Their Husband’s Name, And Chrissy Teigen Has The Best Response

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Chrissy Teigen has become somewhat renowned for her witty, sassy comments on Twitter, and her latest reply is no exception.

It all started with a viral tweet that said: “I’d really like to hear the reasoning behind women who won’t take their husband’s last name.” Good question right? Plenty of people clearly thought so, as it ignited a lively and positive debate and was widely shared.

One of the things that endear Teigen so much to her fans is her willingness to engage in banter with anyone, not just the exclusive celebrity set as so many others do. She joined in the discussion, having her own personal take on the matter and adding her own two cents to a series of varied and interesting responses.

Teigen went on to express her surprise at why so many people think that taking a man’s name after marriage is so important. “I am not anti-taking the last name at all,” she said. “I was going to. I just never got around to it and it isn’t even the name he goes by. It wasn’t some grand statement not to. I just don’t see how the choice affects anyone else – why do people care so much!”

True. The practice seems rather outdated now and is certainly not universal, with people adopting completely different traditions across cultures. Couples should be free to choose whichever names they want to after marriage, or simply stay as they are. Because, as Chrissy Teigen suggests, it’s really nobody else’s business!

Twitter can be great when used in this way, questioning accepted practices in a thoughtful and respectful way, and opening up to new worldviews in the process. A bit of comic relief from a bona fide celebrity with her own take on the issue, and you got yourself a proper thread there, folks. Scroll down below to check out how it all unfolded, and let us know what you think in the comments!

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Member of the Destiny’s Aunties Maami started a Twitter thread that’s been exploding online

She didn’t have to wait for answers long

Some found this idea unacceptable

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Others thought women should inherit their husband’s last name

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Emily had one of the BEST reasons to keep hers (get it?)

But the cherry on the cake has to be Chrissy Teigen’s reply:

Here’s Chrissy with her husband John Roger Stephens aka John Legend

But what’s your take on this? Let us know in the comments!

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funkymattrocks avatar
stellermatt
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i know some people who haven't taken husbands names, some who have but kept there's within their working environment, those who have and those who join forces and double the surname. Also I know of a lesbian couple who decided to create a new surname, literally you do whatever feels right that's probably the best explanation.

nicolasvelez avatar
Nicolas Velez
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agree with you 100%. There is not right or wrong in this. Is just a matter of opinion. You do whatever feels right!

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shanake_ avatar
Shana
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"suffer psychological problems and barely last in their marriages.." Wait, what? If your marriage fails because "she didn't take his last name", there's a lot more going on than a name...

553044972db8e avatar
elizabethlordcary avatar
Elizabeth Lord Cary
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My family last name is Lord, HOW can I possibly stop using that name???

thebonesaw_ avatar
The Bonesaw ..
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife asked me if she "had to" take my last name? "Hell no!", I told her... "I don't even like my last name"... it's long and difficult to pronounce. Long before we got married, when reserving a table or ordering pizza I would use the name Smith in order to avoid the inevitable, "can you spell that, please?" My wife's last name is easy to pronounce and everyone automatically knows how to spell it... so now I use her's when reserving a table. There are now about 50 people who think that's my last name and call me by it. Doesn't bother me in the slightest and I never bother to correct them. I've been married more than a decade and we've been together almost 15 total. And our relationship is as strong today as it's ever been, so the argument that not taking the husband's name is somehow destructive to a relationship is bollocks... a guy would have to have pretty low self-esteem for something that petty to bother him.

justamiable avatar
Just Amiable
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've been married to the same man for 10 years, I still have my last name, it makes no difference & people who think other wise is rather silly considering I have done it, and trust me keeping your last name won't kill you, or your husband, if it did I'd be dead, or a widow.

j_r_mcdowell avatar
Jefferey McDowell
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a friend who married a girl with the last name Cross, he decided to take her last name, he is now known as "Chris Cross". They have been together for 20 years now. and seem quite happy.

tessacalogaras avatar
Tess
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wanted to keep my last name as I wanted to carry on my father's last name and my last name has always been a big identity for me as no one in my country has it but my family, My husband didn't have to take mine but he chose to because he wanted our kids to have the same last name but that was his decision. It's 2018, I think people can decide these things for themselves instead of following some stupid tradition

patsuecody avatar
Patricia Cody
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I once knew a couple who, instead of the woman changing her name, they both changed names. They came up with a new last name they both liked and they both made the name change. I thought that was an awesome idea.

celslade avatar
CelSlade
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'Couples suffer psychological problems and barely last' WTF? If they suffer it's because the husband feels cheated out of ownership. Second worst thing I did: Take my husbands' names. First worst thing: marry them. It 100% changes the dynamic of the relationship and they do act as if they own you. You don't need a piece of paper to love someone and if you have to give up your identity to satisfy their insecurities, either the relationship is doomed anyway (trust me on this one) or you will be miserable for years trying to live up to their expectations of what a 'wife' should be (and on this one).

553044972db8e avatar
Hayley Rodgers
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Taking my husband's name did NOT give him ownership nor did he ever act that way, It also in no way meant giving up my identity.

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paul_78 avatar
Paul Brownjohn
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To me the idea of a woman taking her husband's name on marriage harks back to the time when women were merely an appendage of the husbands; merely a chattel. When I moved to Belgium, I was refreshed to find that in that country there is absolutely no tradition whatever of women taking their husbands names. When Belgian women marry they keep their maiden names! To me it is demeaning that a woman should be expected to change her name to that of her husband after marriage - why should she? It's just another misogynist tradition that should be abandoned ASAP!

ehrenthomsen avatar
Ehren Thomsen
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nowadays in my country (Germany), women have the last word about taking their husbands' last names. They can do so, keep their last names, hypenate them in whichever order they fancy... When taking the husband's name, they are even allowed to keep it after a divorce, it they want.

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diresilverwolf avatar
BREAK YOUr perceptions
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

its definitely just a hold over of patriarchal society. maybe at some point there was a "good" reason behind it like something to do with identifying blood lines, kin, or allies. But this day and age there is no reason to do it besides, liking the other persons last name more, being "old fashioned", or simply just because "that's what everyone does"

553044972db8e avatar
Hayley Rodgers
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No reason? Making it easier on my kids was no reason? Making paperwork easier was no reason? I am not saying anyone has to, but people shouldn't be judged for doing it either

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mittenkg avatar
Alib
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband didn't adopt me. He and I married each other. If that's not enough, what's the incentive for women? It's expensive and time consuming to change your name, especially if you are already established and own stuff. I've never heard of a husband who said: I want you to take my name and I'll do ALL the paperwork and pay for it.

dariab_1 avatar
Daria B
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if he's willing to do all the papers, you will still be required to go sign them in person. Moreover, there might be documents he has no legal access to, so you have no choice but collaborate.

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the1pony avatar
Pony Lauricella
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took my husband's name because I liked his last name way better than the one I had. My sister kept her name when she married because she has degrees and publications under that name- changing it would have made a mess of things. She and her husband have been happily married for about 30 years now, so I'd say the name thing isn't hurting their relationship any. ;)

bludragonfly63 avatar
Mika N
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I did take my husband's last name, which I'm glad about, but I've always regretted that I didn't keep mine as well. I wish I'd made it a middle name, because it was very unique and such a part of my identity. I do love that my husband and I share a last name now though, I feel like (to me) it shows that we are a new little family together. But I wish I hadn't dropped my old one.

bobbinewell avatar
Bobbi Newell
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I did that, kept mine as my middle name. You could use your maiden name informally, or you might look into applying for a legal name change.

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mdulbergsdesigns avatar
Monica Michelle
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it is someone else's marriage and life which makes it 100% in the realm of none of my business

altidormika avatar
A Ghost
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love my last name more than I would love someone who wants be to change it.

perneel-doom avatar
Perneel Pascal
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wifes last name is doom, she would be crazy to give that one up

lindsaytsai avatar
Lindsay Tsai
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We don’t do this changing last names thing where I’m from and no one told me about it, so when I was little, I was so confused when reading books because why does everyone have the same last name??? Was there some rule that you can only marry people with the same last name as you???

dariab_1 avatar
Daria B
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't take his last name because 1) That would mean changing all my personal documents both in Korea and Croatia, as well as all my personal info on all the internet sites and apps and so on; 2) Should there be a failure in updating my new info into the system, I might get accused of identity theft; 3) Women in Korea don't take their husband's surnames anyway, not part of their culture. So... Yeah, nothing wrong with his surname, it's just practical reasons.

ben_steinberg avatar
Ben S.
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I"m a guy. I figured, I don't want to change my name, why should she? Plus, she had published under her own name, why lose that? We took it even further with the kids. If we had a boy, he would have HER last name. If we had a girl, she would have MY last name. We had two girls. But my wife still has her last name. People seem to deal with it.

nadineducca avatar
Nadine Ducca
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Depends on the country, too. In Spain everyone has their own name and that's that. No one is expected to change anything because they got married. Also, Spanish names consist of [name] + [first last name] + [second last name]. In the States, people only use one last name (I know because I'm American and this has caused me several "problems" here). When a couple have a child, they decide the order of the last names at the registry. You can also hyphenate names if you want. Nothing is imposed.

ehrenthomsen avatar
Ehren Thomsen
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In Spain, usually the first last name is the father's first last name, and the secon, the mother's first last name. Or example, Juan Gutiérrez Garrido marries Ana López Martínez. She keeps her name unchanged. Then, their baby will be automatically named Pedro Gutiérrez López. The parents, however, can ask for the reverse, mother's name first: Pedro López Gutiérrez. But it's rarely done because few people know that's possible. Children from single mothers receive only the names of the mother, unless the biological father recognizes the child.

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annie_hammond avatar
Annie Hammond
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My father had 3 sisters, and had 2 daughters. I’m keeping my last name to carry it on. My husband approves and my son has two last names as will his sister.

raroararoa avatar
RaroaRaroa
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I haven't changed my surname for several reasons. My name was mine for 30+ years by then, it is my name, why change it. My husband has an unusual surname that people mispell and mispronounce (some people even after years of knowing him). Also, I worked with my husband's brother at the time (that's how we met) and I didn't want clients thinking I'd married the brother. But most of all, the name I'd gone by for so long was just me. I didn't need to have the same name to feel married. I believe it's perfectly normal in Italy to keep your surname. Probably in plenty of other places too. Our kid has his surname, that's fine by me. So far the school teachers seem to care enough to pronounce it right.

zoe_sotet avatar
Z
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm curious why people still cling to this ridiculous tradition well into the 20th century.

bobbinewell avatar
Bobbi Newell
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took my husband's last name, and kept my maiden name as my middle name. For me, having the same surname represents a more tangible symbol of marital unity - we formed Team Newell, if you will, and I have never felt subordinate to him. As far as paperwork and kids, the surname functions as a social cue. Having the same last name as your spouse might mean you only have to sign 1 set of papers for taxes or legal transactions. And kids are very aware of any little difference that might signify that something isn't "normal," and they are very good at casual cruelty. Having the same surname heads off a lot of questions.

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andrew_joseph_barrett avatar
birdhouse
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife kept her own last name until the kids were in school. She got tired of explaining why her name was different than the kids. It was her choice to change it. It was also her choice to let the kids have my name. I told her she is the one who did all of the hard, painful and uncomfortable parts of having kids so why not take her name. She insisted they take mine?

penwiseraindragon avatar
Bobbie Pendland-Zeimkowski
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I kept mine and added his with hyphen. I had researched my name back to it's origin and wanted to keep it but also wanted to take his name. The hyphenated name has occasionally been difficult, like when signing paperwork when we bought a house, (writer's cramp), but we have been married 21 years and through all the trials and tribulations, the name has never been an issue.

553044972db8e avatar
Hayley Rodgers
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is quite the hyphenated name LOL, my friend's last name was McMorris-Addix when we were kids and I always hoped she wouldn't add another hyphen if she got married, at least if they had kids

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cougarthehairywombat avatar
Trisha Dragon
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hyphenated when I married my wife (team homo). Discussed it then made my own choice. No reason or requirement to do anything other than what you want to in this arena.

gerry1of1 avatar
Gerry Higgins
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it were important to my wife to keep her name I'd have no problem taking hers. It shows you're unity.

edwin_lesperance avatar
Edwin Lesperance
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My first wife took my last name. The marriage didn't last. My second wife and I invented a new name! That marriage didn't last either. My third wife agreed with me taking her last name. This year is our 29th anniversary.

cseguin avatar
Caroline Seguin
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

37 years married. Very happy. Kept both our names. Just live and let live people

jenna avatar
jenna
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People should be given a choice whether to take the wife's or husband's name. And to choose which name they give to their children. In Spain children are given the first surnames of both father and mother. I like that custom because you will always be a child of your mother and father, and there is never a problem with mothers having different names than their children.

counicoune avatar
Coco LeMay
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's forbiden where I live to take your husband name. Province of Québec, Canada.

hayleylightcap avatar
donanski avatar
Donna Wiersma
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm Dutch, my last name is pretty common in the Netherlands. But I live in England now, and I constantly have to spell it out to people. And for some reason no one can pronounce it either. My boyfriends last name is beautiful and I would gladly take it.

victoriamateos avatar
Victoria Mateos
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In Spain women don't change their family name when getting married. What for?? Do you become a different person when you get married???

cucumbersunite avatar
Hazel Waring
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never minded which name we had, he preferred his and his first name sounded stupid with mine so we went with that. It was never a gender or tradition thing. However, I HATE it when his parents write to me as Mrs (his initial - his surname). I HAVE MY OWN NAME!

diane1atk avatar
diane a
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my sister-lin law got it right --- married a guy with the same surname - so no problems with the marriage - or the divorce - lol

ryukakukai avatar
Taki
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's just a tradition. Nothing wrong with conforming to it, and nothing wrong with doing your own things either. Let people do their own thing. All the people saying 'but you'll ruin your marriage if you don't take it' and 'but it's extremely toxic to take it' need to stop caring so much over a simple name.

munizatariq avatar
Muniza Tariq
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Changing my name wouldn't change me so it doesn't matter if I change it or not...... a rose by any other name.......

benski_2007 avatar
Benski Trenkins
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is 2018. Do what you feel is right for you. I would never expect a woman to take my last name. If anything, I don't like my last name so would more lean towards taking hers.

kevinperry_1 avatar
okpkpkp
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've been married four times now and the longest by far (16+years) is my fourth and current wife, Ms. Fitzpatrick. She kept her name and I kept mine. And thanks to my little brother and his prison sentence, my name now has a stain on it so she wouldn't want it anyway. We are both Irish-American and we don't see a difference. And my last wife said the hardest part of the divorce was changing her name back, ha ha ha.

yuri_fitdia avatar
Laily F. Noor
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In some countries like Kores, you don't have to take your husband sure name after marriages. In Indonesia, having family name is uncommon. So it's not weird that every member of my family has different last name. However young couples nowdays try to put the father's name to their baby

elenaframit avatar
Eframit Orozco
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In Spain and many other Spanish speaking countries women don't change their surnames when they got married. I'll repeat it: surnames. Right. Two. Two surnames. Because we use one from the father and another from the mother. Traditionally we used, at least in Spain, the father's first surname first, then the mother's first surname. This has changed and now parents can choose the order. Actually I like this because I think is a nice way to represent both parents in the child's name. I'm proud I have a little bit of my dad and mum (and also from my grandparents) with me. Forever. Because if I get married I won't have to change them. :)

lyndarthur avatar
Lynda Arthur
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I live in Quebec, where the law says the woman keeps her own name - which makes it far easier for government documenting, taxes, Medicare etc. costs a fortune for it all to change and causes a lot of inconvenience for everyone to change bank cards, credit cards, Medicare card, passport, drivers license, etc. not to mention notifying agencies, workplaces, etc of the change. If I want to change it to my husband’s name, I’d have to pay one or two thousand dollars if not more to legally change it. Don’t know what the big deal is in keeping it. I had my name for 36 years before I got married. I couldn’t imagine abandoning it. Been married 20 years and it’s still no big deal.

marilynslateronthemove avatar
Marilyn Slater
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is not, and never has been, law that a wife takes her husband's name; it is only custom. If the woman is an adult, she will have her own life in her own name and to change the whole kit and caboodle into his is just hassle - especially if they divorce a way down the road! I know - been there done that! It's my own name now until the end!!!

arisky76 avatar
Angela Risk
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I added my husbands surname to my surname so that its double barrelled. Husband didn't. Works for us - together 19 years, married for 10 years. A friend at the time was horrified that I was considering not even taking my husbands name and asked me what was the point of me getting married?! My husband said to me that it was my name and my choice - if I didn't change it, it didn't bother him and it certainly didn't bother me to ask him to change his name to mine. Its each persons choice. And no-one else businesses to judge.

annabeliveau11 avatar
GalaxyInAJar
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My family has only girl children, so if I take the last name of my significant other my family name will die... I'm still undecided as what to do

mvh1 avatar
MVH1
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In Latin countries, the wife's name remains with a hyphen and the husband's family. Why should the wife's family be left out of the marriage name? Aren't they important as well?

cseguin avatar
Caroline Seguin
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Married for 37 years. We both kept our names. We are very happy. Live and let people live. <3

littlebunnyfufu avatar
Kate Nelson
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of the people commenting seem to think that somehow it's easier for your kiddo to have the same last name as you do. Maybe it's because I live in the Pacific Northwest, which is a pretty liberal area, but I've never had anyone question that I'm not my kid's mom. With women not taking their husbands names and with the divorce rate having a different last name from your kids is pretty common. Hasn't really been a problem for a couple of decades. At least, it hasn't where I'm living.

sallyapple7 avatar
Sally Appleton
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a teacher in high school who told us that he loved his wife so much he offered to take her last name. That story won him some serious brownie points at our all-girls school.

noemifecit avatar
Noemí Toral
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People must learn from Spain. Women never lose their last names. We have two names, the first from our father and the first from our mother, because both are equal in importance. This is not new, this is traditional in our culture. For us the loosing of the born names is like considering women a possession that adopts the name of its owner or as renouncing your family ties. Terribly sexist!

oscartherailfan avatar
oscartherailfan avatar
Oscar
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In all seriousness, just do what you like. If you want to keep your name, that's fine. If you want your husband's name, that's fine too.

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tlcarluccio avatar
Tamara Carluccio
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Take it or leave it it's a free country!! I chose to take my husbands name because I never liked my own and it was an excuse to have an awesome unspellable name all around and have the initials TLC (I'm a nurse) :)

sueherdman555 avatar
Sue Nissen Herdman
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took my husband's last name; I like his better and I am not fussed either way (and we don't have human kids). To each their own, really :)

xlr8orgirl avatar
Tammy Mackay
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In Scotland, it is not unusual for a woman to keep her surname or clan name after marriage. In times past, if a man married a woman from a higher clan, he often changed his name to hers. As a woman from one of the larger clans I won’t be changing my name no matter how many times I marry.

kerri avatar
Kerri Russ
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took my husband's last name because my maiden name was George and it was used to tease me all through school, even into high school. I'm proud of my family but was eager to get a new last name without court paperwork involved. Now, it's Russ, which works better for me.

shaudaysmith avatar
Shauday Smith
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took my husbands last name because i couldn't stand my original last name. Sorry fam! People have a hard enough time saying my first name correctly without stumbling and mutilating my last name. My husband has the most generic last name on the planet (Smith) and i was an eager beaver to snatch that s**t up. I honestly don't care if other folks do or do not take their spouses names. I've seen couples, keep their individual names, adopt one name, and hyphenate both. You do you!

onerissa avatar
C V
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I changed my name happily. And had monogrammed presents. Family heirlooms. I don't throw those out now when the marriage is over. I can't even imagine changing my name back again tho. It breaks me heart. But now what

sherry_straus_94 avatar
Fairsher
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hated my last name so taking my spouses was great since his was a very normal name. I was teased all through school and could hardly wait to get rid of it.

juliaprevite avatar
I Am the Walrus
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I personally took my husband's last name. I feel like it keeps things simpler. There are no questions as to whether we're married or not. It shows that we're the same family unit now. But it doesn't really matter to me what anyone does, it's all preference.

victoriamateos avatar
Victoria Mateos
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you were in Spain , you would not have that issue, women here don't change their familiy name when they get married. What for??? .Are you a different person when you get married????

redinflorida avatar
A S Koziol
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm very glad that we live in a time that allows people to choose it keep their name or take another. It's nice that people can do what best fits for their circumstances. I changed mine to my husband's because it makes life easier when it comes to legal issues. Not saying you can't make it work to keep your name, but I found the efforts I had to go to in my first marriage (where I kept my maiden name) caused a lot of wasted time. Especially with banking, real estate, and medical issues. I had to carry my marriage license with me because I never knew when I'd be asked to "prove" we were married (but I found it shady that if I'd had the same last name, no one would have asked that).

megakitty8808 avatar
Erin
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My last name is kind of boring, so I may change it to my (future) husband's if his is better. That would be the only reason, though!

mikeviolet avatar
Mike & Violet
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took my husband's last name because I liked it better than my maiden name. If I hadn"t I would have kept mine. Just chance that his was nice.

danielleshair avatar
Danielle Shair
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because then our last name would die out. This generation was all women.

ealizabethane avatar
Lisa Shaw
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Too many problems, I spoke with a government official (renewing passport) a few months before marriage, when I asked how I would change my name the following summer, after marriage, she went off on me, said I was changing my entire identity and started reading off the costs of doing it and the inconvenience, also said I would not be able to travel out of country for approximately two years "while all the changes and red tape were sorted through" she actually made me sorry I even enquired, my husband arrived during her tirade and was so mortified by the things she had said to me, he contacted her manager and a lawyer, since she was spurting a bunch of legal advice that she was not entitled to do.

remyellis avatar
Remy Ellis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Guys, let's stop arguing about this whole "ownership" thing. Some people have different opinions about different matters. Different people, different minds, different choices, different personalities. Thing like last names are not one-size-fits-all. And we, as human beings, have the responsibility to accept and acknowledge one another's opinions, even if we have different mindsets.

shadowsofprime avatar
Lucca Accora
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Shame this doesn't apply when men have to pay for their rings and fancy weddings.

shadowsofprime avatar
Lucca Accora
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wish they cared enough to stop requiring us to buy them expensive rings and wedding ceremonies.

alexandra_rockwell avatar
Alexandra Rockwell
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband took my last name. My dad was the only son and he had two daughters, so my last name would have stopped with me. My husband on the other hand, has 3 more brothers to keep the name going.

emmakooij avatar
Emma Kooij
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As someone who has a mother in this position, it can be very normal in some cultures to *not* take your husbands last name. I mean, my mom and dad never disagreed about last name problems-mom didn't feel like changing her last name because she is part of the last generation to carry her dad's name. My parents have been married for almost 30 years now, and never has either of them questioned it. It's pretty normal in the Netherlands, though in America, everyone seems surprised when they figure out my mom has a different last name. Once they know though, it doesn't make any difference!

beatyruth avatar
Ruth Beaty
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was married almost 40 years and decided to take my husband's last name, mine was also a difficult name (tho I did enjoy using it, lol). For me it was about two people becoming one, a sign of my respect and love for him. Definitely not a sign of ownership. This just happened to be my choice, and one of my sisters decided to keep our family name as a business decision. Ours was a very equal marriage and we made most of our decisions together. Things weren't always easy, and we tried to listen to each other's viewpoint with love and respect.

martinw avatar
Martin
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As long as children are left out of this stupidity, I just don't care.

johnlm1981 avatar
John Montgomery
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I tried to convince my wife that we should both change our name to a combination name a friend gave us. I didn't want her to be the only one dealing with changing her name on everything. She still wanted mine. We did still use the combined name on the serving set though, and her dad made us a name plaque with it.

lauramd avatar
Laura M D
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In my country, you don't change your last name when you get married. Your children will have both, your couple's and yours. Traditionally, they get their father's first, and their mother's after that. But now, you can change the order. Also, since gay marriage is allowed, when they have children, they can choose the order.

angijiles avatar
Angi Jiles
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took his name because I was tired of all the e's in my maiden name. Dreesen. My initials went fromADD to ADJ. But I would never judge anyone for not changing their spouses name. Oh and on top of all that, getting all of your stuff changed to your NEW name is a royal pain! Social Security Card, DMV, bank accounts, mortgage, etc.... plus what if someone you went to elementary school wanted to look you up & your last name changed. Guys don't go through that.

maria_weber avatar
Mariia Baranovskaia
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My grandmother took her husband's name and divorced him after 10 years. Her sister kept her maiden name and was happily married till her husband's death.

sophie-deganay avatar
Sophie De Ganay
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I moved to Canada I got tired of spelling my name to everyone (I'm French and my name is composed of two words and super awkward to pronounce in English) so I use my husband's. Purely out of lazyness.

maggyshannon avatar
Margaret Shannon
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because we were still in college and I was sick of waiting for the “S” when roll was taken, no way was I going to change and wait for “T.”

susanna-alsaeedi avatar
Susanna Vesna
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can people just get over this Chrissy Whatever?! Her replies are nothing close to being special! What an unjustified hype!....On the subject though- My mum never changed her name, I won't change mine- nothing to do with feminism, I just want my family (dad's last name) to go on appearing in this world. And honestly won't be bothered changing all the documents, university degrees and etc. I think it is a stupid tradition.

cg_pitch avatar
Chris Pitch
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She simply asked a question wondering why. Was not telling people they should. Social media have people shoot off too quickly. Take the time to read, the high horse may even be able to be put out to pasture.

troy-currie-39 avatar
Troy Currie
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They would never lose their last name, they would just add his to it...usually how it's done

onixdunkel avatar
Onix Dunkel
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"...suffer psychological problems and barely last in their marriages..." We don't do this in my country, is really weird to me the idea of change my last name just because I married someone, so I can't understand at all this kind of thinking

invitedfeline avatar
Dorthe Schou-Nielsen
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took my husband's last name after we got married to more easily show the world that we are a family. We had our children before we got married and they got my middle name and their father's last name as I knew that I would take his last name in case we got married.

shanechang2015 avatar
Shane Chang
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took my husband's name 3 years ago (tomorrow is our 3rd). It was just part of the fantasy for me. It was just a fantasy because I never thought I'd be allowed to marry so maybe it was a tiny bit political for me as well. And I won’t lie, I love most of the reactions I get from people being a white guy named Chang.

eleanor-rhynard avatar
I'm a tiefling rogue, guys!
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are a lot of comments on this. And also, if you want to keep your last name but also want your spouse's, you could hyphenate them... Please don't yell at me for this suggestion!

miriam-gordon avatar
Miriam Gordon
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I kept my last name. I'm the last one, since my sibling died. My father also died, so I think it's also me being very sentimental. I like my last name, and I don't want to give it up. My husband is fine with that.

atruong74 avatar
SweetMamaP
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a friend who dutifully took her husband's last name and when he divorced her after 25 years of marriage, he demanded it back. Yeah, that's right, he didn't want his ex-wife to continue carrying his family name because it was a rather prestigious family name. Her response is one of the best: "He can have his name back. I liked my maiden better any way." As for Maami's tweet, in most Asian cultures, the woman keeps her family name even after marriage. Because a lot of thought and respect goes into naming your child, and the full name actually has meaning and history, you can't just up and change it to your husband's family name.

bmarchese avatar
Brenda Marchese
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I did change my name to his, but 3 yrs later we separated. I chose not to revert to my surname, because I didn’t want my daughter teased because our surnames would be different (this was 40 yrs ago) and it was too expensive too make all those chang. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t. My daughter has married, and she kept her name. A matter of personal choice.

adenugabola293 avatar
Nuga Bola
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If they want to take their last name why not and if they don't want to why not. But I personally feel taking the last name is best as it builds trust in the man about the woman

suegreene avatar
Sue Clasen
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've read some really weird commentaries, as the one that writes, that women that don't adopt their husbands surname are psychological unstable, and their marriages don't last. Here in Spain, you use your father and mother's surname however order you want to use them, from birth to death. I think this is the easiest legal system, nothing changes, whether you marry or not, get divorced or not, re-marry or not, you are who you are., man or woman, just a person. It's a question of legal citizenship not of gender differences.

mintyminameow avatar
Meowton Mewsk
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I want to share the same name as my fiancé. So I plan to take/share his last name. But I wouldn’t care if it were my name or his or a totally new one. I will turn my last name into my middle name so I don’t lose that part of me. I will just add to it. I agree with the women who don’t want to change their names though. Their reasoning is solid. I just personally care to choose that particular connection to my future husband. There are many other ways of being connected that don’t involve changing part of who you are though. People need to do what’s right for them.

katerinaphilbrick avatar
mntncrone
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I personally love the tradition in Iceland and other Scandinavian cultures: you take your father's first name (less often, one's mother's name) as your last. Palsdottir or Palson, Jonsdottir or Jonsson... It's still patriarchal, but it completely sheds this dynastic attitude over last names. Most of these guys who can't break free from the Western idea about patriarchal last names have nothing to pass on OTHER than their names - so who really cares??

someonenameddustin avatar
DustinVFP
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

honestly do whatever works for you, take whatever last name works best for you it could be whoever has the most famous last name or just whichever one is quicker to write or if you really can't decide then make a new one or combine both of them into one, my point is do whatever works best for you and your partner

julie-moularde avatar
Julie Julie
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bigger question is why do people care? Take it, don't take it, make one up, it's your life and your problem. Why are we judged on anything and everything? As long as it's not hurting anyone, just let people do their thing, do yours, and the world will be a better place.

carolwilliams avatar
Carol Williams
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think when two combine to start a family, they should both take a new last name...a family name...let's start that...really screw up the IRS too...

watumesa_tan avatar
Watumesa Tan
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I simply didn't want the hassle of having o go through all those paperworks :)

bbbxl82 avatar
Barbara
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I live in Belgium, it is not even possible to take your husband's last name. We all keep our own name, if you would want to change it you would have to go through a long and bureaucratic procedure and pay a lot of money... You can go around and introduce yourself by your husband's name but legally and on all documentation you keep your own. Your husband's name used to be mentioned on your ID if you were married but it now also at least a decade that it is no longer the case.

amazinghuman avatar
Mr.Fly
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is a tradition here to put the father's name behind the after the first name. However, my dad wanted us to be 'our own people' and didn't do that.

johnlouis avatar
John Louis
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a weird last name. I insisted that my wife not take it. So we both changed our names to Louis.

krestel avatar
Jill Rhoads
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In Sweden, guys will often take her last name if it a less common one. Ppl are getting sick of all having the same type of boring last names. Another reason a guy might take a woman’s last name is when he doesn’t like his own for some reason. My guy took my last name because his had same pronunciation as the Swedish word for vulture. As an American, I’m tickled pink that he did that.

lauralee63 avatar
Laura Rudgers
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I want to know if Chrissy Teigen took Stephens as her last name on the wedding license.

laure avatar
Laure
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Got married after 12 years together, when I was 32. Changing my name would just have been weird. It is a change of identity, you change your last name, the one name that people called you for years. It is actually something important. People do what they want really, I don't care, but I didn't want to change my name, my husband couldn't care less, and if one of us had to change our name, he said that it would have been him (everyone struggles with his last name). But I also know women for whom it is important to share the same name. As long as you do what you want and not what you are told to do, who cares! But I find it odd to judge women who don't take their husband's name.

amueller avatar
A from Austria-Europe
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We threw a dice. Odd number-his name, even number my name. Because we both didn't give a sh.t, keeping different names was not an option. It was an odd number, his name is easier to spell when traveling, which we do a lot. So thanks to the dice! 🎲

nashamagirl avatar
Nia Loves Art
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom kept her maiden name. Her father died when she was 14 and the name is a connection to him. I'm very traditionally romantic so I'll probably change my name unless I marry someone with a name like "Phuc" or "Wiener". It is really a personal decision and not something that should matter to anyone else.

emmadingle avatar
Emma Dingle
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Taking your husband's last name (if you marry) doesn't mean that he gets to rule over you, it was originally meant to show that you and him had come together to join as one. It was to show that you had become his helper, his ezer (basically lifesaver in Hebrew). If you are in a career though for a long while before you marry, then it is understandable that you want to keep your own name for simplicity's sake, but generally, I think it is neat to take your husband's name because it represents a new chapter and identity in addition in your life.

redhairedchic avatar
Jenny Lorenz
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was going to get married once and I was going to keep my last name. It had been my name my whole life and I wanted it to stay the same. The thing that shocked me was that when I told my fiance, he told me he'd take my last name. We broke up though for things unrelated to the last name thing I just shared.

jynxee avatar
Lisa Greene
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am married, 29 years and did not take my husband's name. My father died web i was 6 and there was no one to carry the name on... It's up to the individual and has nothing to do with whether the marriage will last or not!

utadohl avatar
Uta Dohlenburg
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have quite a unique last name, with only about 30 other people in the world sharing it. I love it, I don't want to lose it. But I would say, whatever floats your boat...

arisky76 avatar
Angela Risk
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just added my surname in so I have a double barrelled surname, my husband does not. My choice, his choice. Been together 19 years and married for 10 years. Works for us. As a side note, I did have a massive argument with a good friend at the time when I was considering not taking my husbands name at all. This liberal lady shocked me when she was outraged I was thinking about not taking my husbands name. Asked me 'what was the point of getting married?' My husband said to me, 'your name, your choice.' Thats one of the reasons respect him. And that we are still together nearly 20 years later.

boredpanda_99 avatar
SirWriteALot
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand, why women do this. If roles were reversed I'd definitely not change my name. But I feel honored that my wife took mine. Wish there was a way to keep your name but not be named differently than your kids.

melissa_sigel avatar
Melissa Sigel
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took my husband's last name so that people I knew from high school would not be able to easily find me.

jewels7377 avatar
Julie Partridge
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband and I discussed it for a long time. I opted to take his last name because I brought him over here on a k-1 visa, we got married and are going through the green card process. We have to submit proof of our marriage-so in order to make sure our marriage is believed, which it very much is-I took his out of tradition. He was going to take mine, but my maiden name is really long. I wanted something shorter. I haven't changed my signature though. That's too much effort.

jemelleshannon avatar
The Famous Junkie
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually despise my last name. I want nothing to associate me with my family.. bar my blood line. Plus, even better... there’s only one remaining male with our surname, who is incapable of producing any male off spring, so thankfully this awful name, will die out soon!!!!

ealizabethane avatar
Lisa Shaw
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wanted to take my husband's last name, but alas it was almost impossible. I have dual citizenship with another country and my country of origins passport office (federal government) told me that I was changing my identity and would have to "start all over again as a new person", they also informed me that it could take many months up to a year or so to do it. In the meantime, I can't go to the doctor on my provincial health plan, I couldn't travel out of country, filing income tax would be nothing but a hassle until the name change was complete and they advised me not to change jobs or apply to new credit until it was completed. Any one of those things would have been surmountable, even a few of them but all of them together, occurring at the same time makes it virtually impossible to do in a timely manner. I also found out much later that there are some pretty exorbitant fees involved with changing my name also.

maarika-toivonen avatar
Maarika Toivonen
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel torn on this subject. I don't think anyone should give up their own name. On the other hand, I like the notion of the whole family having one name. My ex didn't want to change his so I took his name. I' m happy to have the same name as my children, but might change it back when they've moved out.

dadditude avatar
James Naron
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All the talk of tradition and what’s “right” aside, you have to admit that Chrissy Teigen’s reason for not has got to be one of the best. (Second only to Emily’s.)

leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My reason for keeping my surname was simple. My sibling died and my parents wanted the surname to live on. But, sure, yeah, it's allllll about women with "issues", not at all about legitimate professional or personal reasons to take/not-take the spouse's surname. SMH. Live, let live. (BTW, married over 25 years. Obviously, not against marriage,!)

weepingwillowzweepingwillowz avatar
Weeping Willowz (WeepingWillowz)
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, my parents aren’t married and my dads a leaning whereas my mum and I are keestra

salla-soini-1 avatar
Salla Soini
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We went with easy option, combination last name. I would have taken it but I would have had to fly to another country just for paper work over and over and it would have been too expensive. So my husband took the combination lastname.

lisagallantking avatar
Lisa
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took my husband's last name and he took mine and we created a really cool, shared, hyphenated name. We've been together 20 years and have two kids with the name we created together.

christina_15 avatar
Christina Carr
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never took hubby last name. His last name is Hunger and mine is Carr. I already had a career that was public so to change it would have to mean starting from scratch. I had no desire for that. AND to change a name that already flows for a name that is awkward on the lips (when you put my first name with it) didn't make sense either. Besides.... How man CarrHunger social media IDs do you know out there. Combining our names together to make an Unique ID that is easy to remember and to find and is NOT taken by others is ideal. Carr or Hunger would have to be followed with some ridiculous numbers. AND, just to clarify... Met in 1987, Married in 1991 (mostly to quiet his family's nerves and the party) and still together.

captaindash avatar
Full Name
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No woman is taking my last name. I can't imagine having sex with someone with the same last name who also happens to be in my immediate family.

andrea_graham avatar
Andrea Graham
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I care not to be owned by a man. I was whole before I met him and so is he.

kirkland_kathy avatar
Kathy Kirkland
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you know and understand the origin of it, you wouldn't either.

wendy_bradford1 avatar
Wendy Bradford
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I kept mine as my bio father was a whore during the late 60s and beyond, and siblings may want to find me.

counicoune avatar
Corinne Lemay-Lafontaine
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is illegal where I live to take your husband name. Province of Qiebec, Canada.

saihoekstra avatar
Sanne H.
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In NL you can choose whatever combination you like as a last name: yourname, partnersname, yourname-partnersname or partnersname-yourname. And your partner has the same options. Usually the woman goes either for the first (the modern option) or the last (the old-fashioned, traditional option), and the man for the first one. Only once I met a guy who took his wife's name.

553044972db8e avatar
Hayley Rodgers
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't like the comment saying "Hip to the BS" because my choice to take my husband's name was about our future kids, not because he owned me or anything like that. If you don't want to that's fine but I am not a fan of insinuating that those who do are blind to past issues. Besides, my husband's last name is WAY easier for people to pronounce.

lisachambers_1 avatar
Lisa Chambers
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why did that stop all the conversation? She is likely one of the least educated persons on the planet and flies by the seat of her pants in most replies, which gets her into the sewer more often than not. I have taken my husband's last name. My choice to have a family name. I am not concerned over who is confused or what people think.

annehemp avatar
Anne Hemp
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think: Keep your name or don't, be gay or straight, christian or muslim or atheist or whatever, wear frilly underwear on a monday, shave your head - IT'S YOUR BUSINESS AND NOBODY ELSE'S. Why do some people b***h so much about what other people do?

polmacqueron avatar
Pol Macqueron
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's still this question about the last name you give to the kids and the fact that one in the couple could be named otherwise which I find disturbing. But actually I see no reason why women should have to change their last name, men could too. It's up to each couple to decide

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Paul Osborne
Community Member
6 years ago

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It's up to the couple to decide but don't shame all men for the tradition

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Joel Emmett
Community Member
6 years ago

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Welp, sure. And yet, it's your dad's name. A SURname, the name of your sire, your father.

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John Smith
Community Member
6 years ago

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Because she's the woman and he's the man. And that's how it'll always be.

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Hugo Raible
Community Member
6 years ago

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Toxic feminist snowflake alert. @BlackCoffee_74 @DoreenGLM

daveroger710 avatar
Dave Roger
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow however did you manage to shove so many right-wing nonsense words into one sentence? What a f*****g edgelord. We're all jealous of how edgy you are.

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Jonathan Eatsalot
Community Member
6 years ago

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It is how families bond. Family reunions would be odd if most people had a different last name.

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Erin
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The husband could always take the wife's last name, then they'd both still be the same. Or they could hyphenate.

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stellermatt
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i know some people who haven't taken husbands names, some who have but kept there's within their working environment, those who have and those who join forces and double the surname. Also I know of a lesbian couple who decided to create a new surname, literally you do whatever feels right that's probably the best explanation.

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Nicolas Velez
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agree with you 100%. There is not right or wrong in this. Is just a matter of opinion. You do whatever feels right!

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Shana
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"suffer psychological problems and barely last in their marriages.." Wait, what? If your marriage fails because "she didn't take his last name", there's a lot more going on than a name...

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elizabethlordcary avatar
Elizabeth Lord Cary
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My family last name is Lord, HOW can I possibly stop using that name???

thebonesaw_ avatar
The Bonesaw ..
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife asked me if she "had to" take my last name? "Hell no!", I told her... "I don't even like my last name"... it's long and difficult to pronounce. Long before we got married, when reserving a table or ordering pizza I would use the name Smith in order to avoid the inevitable, "can you spell that, please?" My wife's last name is easy to pronounce and everyone automatically knows how to spell it... so now I use her's when reserving a table. There are now about 50 people who think that's my last name and call me by it. Doesn't bother me in the slightest and I never bother to correct them. I've been married more than a decade and we've been together almost 15 total. And our relationship is as strong today as it's ever been, so the argument that not taking the husband's name is somehow destructive to a relationship is bollocks... a guy would have to have pretty low self-esteem for something that petty to bother him.

justamiable avatar
Just Amiable
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've been married to the same man for 10 years, I still have my last name, it makes no difference & people who think other wise is rather silly considering I have done it, and trust me keeping your last name won't kill you, or your husband, if it did I'd be dead, or a widow.

j_r_mcdowell avatar
Jefferey McDowell
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a friend who married a girl with the last name Cross, he decided to take her last name, he is now known as "Chris Cross". They have been together for 20 years now. and seem quite happy.

tessacalogaras avatar
Tess
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wanted to keep my last name as I wanted to carry on my father's last name and my last name has always been a big identity for me as no one in my country has it but my family, My husband didn't have to take mine but he chose to because he wanted our kids to have the same last name but that was his decision. It's 2018, I think people can decide these things for themselves instead of following some stupid tradition

patsuecody avatar
Patricia Cody
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I once knew a couple who, instead of the woman changing her name, they both changed names. They came up with a new last name they both liked and they both made the name change. I thought that was an awesome idea.

celslade avatar
CelSlade
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'Couples suffer psychological problems and barely last' WTF? If they suffer it's because the husband feels cheated out of ownership. Second worst thing I did: Take my husbands' names. First worst thing: marry them. It 100% changes the dynamic of the relationship and they do act as if they own you. You don't need a piece of paper to love someone and if you have to give up your identity to satisfy their insecurities, either the relationship is doomed anyway (trust me on this one) or you will be miserable for years trying to live up to their expectations of what a 'wife' should be (and on this one).

553044972db8e avatar
Hayley Rodgers
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Taking my husband's name did NOT give him ownership nor did he ever act that way, It also in no way meant giving up my identity.

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Paul Brownjohn
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To me the idea of a woman taking her husband's name on marriage harks back to the time when women were merely an appendage of the husbands; merely a chattel. When I moved to Belgium, I was refreshed to find that in that country there is absolutely no tradition whatever of women taking their husbands names. When Belgian women marry they keep their maiden names! To me it is demeaning that a woman should be expected to change her name to that of her husband after marriage - why should she? It's just another misogynist tradition that should be abandoned ASAP!

ehrenthomsen avatar
Ehren Thomsen
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nowadays in my country (Germany), women have the last word about taking their husbands' last names. They can do so, keep their last names, hypenate them in whichever order they fancy... When taking the husband's name, they are even allowed to keep it after a divorce, it they want.

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BREAK YOUr perceptions
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

its definitely just a hold over of patriarchal society. maybe at some point there was a "good" reason behind it like something to do with identifying blood lines, kin, or allies. But this day and age there is no reason to do it besides, liking the other persons last name more, being "old fashioned", or simply just because "that's what everyone does"

553044972db8e avatar
Hayley Rodgers
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No reason? Making it easier on my kids was no reason? Making paperwork easier was no reason? I am not saying anyone has to, but people shouldn't be judged for doing it either

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mittenkg avatar
Alib
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband didn't adopt me. He and I married each other. If that's not enough, what's the incentive for women? It's expensive and time consuming to change your name, especially if you are already established and own stuff. I've never heard of a husband who said: I want you to take my name and I'll do ALL the paperwork and pay for it.

dariab_1 avatar
Daria B
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if he's willing to do all the papers, you will still be required to go sign them in person. Moreover, there might be documents he has no legal access to, so you have no choice but collaborate.

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Pony Lauricella
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took my husband's name because I liked his last name way better than the one I had. My sister kept her name when she married because she has degrees and publications under that name- changing it would have made a mess of things. She and her husband have been happily married for about 30 years now, so I'd say the name thing isn't hurting their relationship any. ;)

bludragonfly63 avatar
Mika N
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I did take my husband's last name, which I'm glad about, but I've always regretted that I didn't keep mine as well. I wish I'd made it a middle name, because it was very unique and such a part of my identity. I do love that my husband and I share a last name now though, I feel like (to me) it shows that we are a new little family together. But I wish I hadn't dropped my old one.

bobbinewell avatar
Bobbi Newell
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I did that, kept mine as my middle name. You could use your maiden name informally, or you might look into applying for a legal name change.

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Monica Michelle
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it is someone else's marriage and life which makes it 100% in the realm of none of my business

altidormika avatar
A Ghost
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love my last name more than I would love someone who wants be to change it.

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Perneel Pascal
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wifes last name is doom, she would be crazy to give that one up

lindsaytsai avatar
Lindsay Tsai
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We don’t do this changing last names thing where I’m from and no one told me about it, so when I was little, I was so confused when reading books because why does everyone have the same last name??? Was there some rule that you can only marry people with the same last name as you???

dariab_1 avatar
Daria B
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't take his last name because 1) That would mean changing all my personal documents both in Korea and Croatia, as well as all my personal info on all the internet sites and apps and so on; 2) Should there be a failure in updating my new info into the system, I might get accused of identity theft; 3) Women in Korea don't take their husband's surnames anyway, not part of their culture. So... Yeah, nothing wrong with his surname, it's just practical reasons.

ben_steinberg avatar
Ben S.
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I"m a guy. I figured, I don't want to change my name, why should she? Plus, she had published under her own name, why lose that? We took it even further with the kids. If we had a boy, he would have HER last name. If we had a girl, she would have MY last name. We had two girls. But my wife still has her last name. People seem to deal with it.

nadineducca avatar
Nadine Ducca
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Depends on the country, too. In Spain everyone has their own name and that's that. No one is expected to change anything because they got married. Also, Spanish names consist of [name] + [first last name] + [second last name]. In the States, people only use one last name (I know because I'm American and this has caused me several "problems" here). When a couple have a child, they decide the order of the last names at the registry. You can also hyphenate names if you want. Nothing is imposed.

ehrenthomsen avatar
Ehren Thomsen
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In Spain, usually the first last name is the father's first last name, and the secon, the mother's first last name. Or example, Juan Gutiérrez Garrido marries Ana López Martínez. She keeps her name unchanged. Then, their baby will be automatically named Pedro Gutiérrez López. The parents, however, can ask for the reverse, mother's name first: Pedro López Gutiérrez. But it's rarely done because few people know that's possible. Children from single mothers receive only the names of the mother, unless the biological father recognizes the child.

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Annie Hammond
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My father had 3 sisters, and had 2 daughters. I’m keeping my last name to carry it on. My husband approves and my son has two last names as will his sister.

raroararoa avatar
RaroaRaroa
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I haven't changed my surname for several reasons. My name was mine for 30+ years by then, it is my name, why change it. My husband has an unusual surname that people mispell and mispronounce (some people even after years of knowing him). Also, I worked with my husband's brother at the time (that's how we met) and I didn't want clients thinking I'd married the brother. But most of all, the name I'd gone by for so long was just me. I didn't need to have the same name to feel married. I believe it's perfectly normal in Italy to keep your surname. Probably in plenty of other places too. Our kid has his surname, that's fine by me. So far the school teachers seem to care enough to pronounce it right.

zoe_sotet avatar
Z
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm curious why people still cling to this ridiculous tradition well into the 20th century.

bobbinewell avatar
Bobbi Newell
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took my husband's last name, and kept my maiden name as my middle name. For me, having the same surname represents a more tangible symbol of marital unity - we formed Team Newell, if you will, and I have never felt subordinate to him. As far as paperwork and kids, the surname functions as a social cue. Having the same last name as your spouse might mean you only have to sign 1 set of papers for taxes or legal transactions. And kids are very aware of any little difference that might signify that something isn't "normal," and they are very good at casual cruelty. Having the same surname heads off a lot of questions.

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birdhouse
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife kept her own last name until the kids were in school. She got tired of explaining why her name was different than the kids. It was her choice to change it. It was also her choice to let the kids have my name. I told her she is the one who did all of the hard, painful and uncomfortable parts of having kids so why not take her name. She insisted they take mine?

penwiseraindragon avatar
Bobbie Pendland-Zeimkowski
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I kept mine and added his with hyphen. I had researched my name back to it's origin and wanted to keep it but also wanted to take his name. The hyphenated name has occasionally been difficult, like when signing paperwork when we bought a house, (writer's cramp), but we have been married 21 years and through all the trials and tribulations, the name has never been an issue.

553044972db8e avatar
Hayley Rodgers
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is quite the hyphenated name LOL, my friend's last name was McMorris-Addix when we were kids and I always hoped she wouldn't add another hyphen if she got married, at least if they had kids

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Trisha Dragon
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hyphenated when I married my wife (team homo). Discussed it then made my own choice. No reason or requirement to do anything other than what you want to in this arena.

gerry1of1 avatar
Gerry Higgins
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it were important to my wife to keep her name I'd have no problem taking hers. It shows you're unity.

edwin_lesperance avatar
Edwin Lesperance
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My first wife took my last name. The marriage didn't last. My second wife and I invented a new name! That marriage didn't last either. My third wife agreed with me taking her last name. This year is our 29th anniversary.

cseguin avatar
Caroline Seguin
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

37 years married. Very happy. Kept both our names. Just live and let live people

jenna avatar
jenna
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People should be given a choice whether to take the wife's or husband's name. And to choose which name they give to their children. In Spain children are given the first surnames of both father and mother. I like that custom because you will always be a child of your mother and father, and there is never a problem with mothers having different names than their children.

counicoune avatar
Coco LeMay
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's forbiden where I live to take your husband name. Province of Québec, Canada.

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donanski avatar
Donna Wiersma
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm Dutch, my last name is pretty common in the Netherlands. But I live in England now, and I constantly have to spell it out to people. And for some reason no one can pronounce it either. My boyfriends last name is beautiful and I would gladly take it.

victoriamateos avatar
Victoria Mateos
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In Spain women don't change their family name when getting married. What for?? Do you become a different person when you get married???

cucumbersunite avatar
Hazel Waring
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never minded which name we had, he preferred his and his first name sounded stupid with mine so we went with that. It was never a gender or tradition thing. However, I HATE it when his parents write to me as Mrs (his initial - his surname). I HAVE MY OWN NAME!

diane1atk avatar
diane a
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my sister-lin law got it right --- married a guy with the same surname - so no problems with the marriage - or the divorce - lol

ryukakukai avatar
Taki
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's just a tradition. Nothing wrong with conforming to it, and nothing wrong with doing your own things either. Let people do their own thing. All the people saying 'but you'll ruin your marriage if you don't take it' and 'but it's extremely toxic to take it' need to stop caring so much over a simple name.

munizatariq avatar
Muniza Tariq
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Changing my name wouldn't change me so it doesn't matter if I change it or not...... a rose by any other name.......

benski_2007 avatar
Benski Trenkins
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is 2018. Do what you feel is right for you. I would never expect a woman to take my last name. If anything, I don't like my last name so would more lean towards taking hers.

kevinperry_1 avatar
okpkpkp
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've been married four times now and the longest by far (16+years) is my fourth and current wife, Ms. Fitzpatrick. She kept her name and I kept mine. And thanks to my little brother and his prison sentence, my name now has a stain on it so she wouldn't want it anyway. We are both Irish-American and we don't see a difference. And my last wife said the hardest part of the divorce was changing her name back, ha ha ha.

yuri_fitdia avatar
Laily F. Noor
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In some countries like Kores, you don't have to take your husband sure name after marriages. In Indonesia, having family name is uncommon. So it's not weird that every member of my family has different last name. However young couples nowdays try to put the father's name to their baby

elenaframit avatar
Eframit Orozco
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In Spain and many other Spanish speaking countries women don't change their surnames when they got married. I'll repeat it: surnames. Right. Two. Two surnames. Because we use one from the father and another from the mother. Traditionally we used, at least in Spain, the father's first surname first, then the mother's first surname. This has changed and now parents can choose the order. Actually I like this because I think is a nice way to represent both parents in the child's name. I'm proud I have a little bit of my dad and mum (and also from my grandparents) with me. Forever. Because if I get married I won't have to change them. :)

lyndarthur avatar
Lynda Arthur
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I live in Quebec, where the law says the woman keeps her own name - which makes it far easier for government documenting, taxes, Medicare etc. costs a fortune for it all to change and causes a lot of inconvenience for everyone to change bank cards, credit cards, Medicare card, passport, drivers license, etc. not to mention notifying agencies, workplaces, etc of the change. If I want to change it to my husband’s name, I’d have to pay one or two thousand dollars if not more to legally change it. Don’t know what the big deal is in keeping it. I had my name for 36 years before I got married. I couldn’t imagine abandoning it. Been married 20 years and it’s still no big deal.

marilynslateronthemove avatar
Marilyn Slater
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is not, and never has been, law that a wife takes her husband's name; it is only custom. If the woman is an adult, she will have her own life in her own name and to change the whole kit and caboodle into his is just hassle - especially if they divorce a way down the road! I know - been there done that! It's my own name now until the end!!!

arisky76 avatar
Angela Risk
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I added my husbands surname to my surname so that its double barrelled. Husband didn't. Works for us - together 19 years, married for 10 years. A friend at the time was horrified that I was considering not even taking my husbands name and asked me what was the point of me getting married?! My husband said to me that it was my name and my choice - if I didn't change it, it didn't bother him and it certainly didn't bother me to ask him to change his name to mine. Its each persons choice. And no-one else businesses to judge.

annabeliveau11 avatar
GalaxyInAJar
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My family has only girl children, so if I take the last name of my significant other my family name will die... I'm still undecided as what to do

mvh1 avatar
MVH1
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In Latin countries, the wife's name remains with a hyphen and the husband's family. Why should the wife's family be left out of the marriage name? Aren't they important as well?

cseguin avatar
Caroline Seguin
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Married for 37 years. We both kept our names. We are very happy. Live and let people live. <3

littlebunnyfufu avatar
Kate Nelson
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of the people commenting seem to think that somehow it's easier for your kiddo to have the same last name as you do. Maybe it's because I live in the Pacific Northwest, which is a pretty liberal area, but I've never had anyone question that I'm not my kid's mom. With women not taking their husbands names and with the divorce rate having a different last name from your kids is pretty common. Hasn't really been a problem for a couple of decades. At least, it hasn't where I'm living.

sallyapple7 avatar
Sally Appleton
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a teacher in high school who told us that he loved his wife so much he offered to take her last name. That story won him some serious brownie points at our all-girls school.

noemifecit avatar
Noemí Toral
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People must learn from Spain. Women never lose their last names. We have two names, the first from our father and the first from our mother, because both are equal in importance. This is not new, this is traditional in our culture. For us the loosing of the born names is like considering women a possession that adopts the name of its owner or as renouncing your family ties. Terribly sexist!

oscartherailfan avatar
oscartherailfan avatar
Oscar
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In all seriousness, just do what you like. If you want to keep your name, that's fine. If you want your husband's name, that's fine too.

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Tamara Carluccio
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Take it or leave it it's a free country!! I chose to take my husbands name because I never liked my own and it was an excuse to have an awesome unspellable name all around and have the initials TLC (I'm a nurse) :)

sueherdman555 avatar
Sue Nissen Herdman
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took my husband's last name; I like his better and I am not fussed either way (and we don't have human kids). To each their own, really :)

xlr8orgirl avatar
Tammy Mackay
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In Scotland, it is not unusual for a woman to keep her surname or clan name after marriage. In times past, if a man married a woman from a higher clan, he often changed his name to hers. As a woman from one of the larger clans I won’t be changing my name no matter how many times I marry.

kerri avatar
Kerri Russ
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took my husband's last name because my maiden name was George and it was used to tease me all through school, even into high school. I'm proud of my family but was eager to get a new last name without court paperwork involved. Now, it's Russ, which works better for me.

shaudaysmith avatar
Shauday Smith
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took my husbands last name because i couldn't stand my original last name. Sorry fam! People have a hard enough time saying my first name correctly without stumbling and mutilating my last name. My husband has the most generic last name on the planet (Smith) and i was an eager beaver to snatch that s**t up. I honestly don't care if other folks do or do not take their spouses names. I've seen couples, keep their individual names, adopt one name, and hyphenate both. You do you!

onerissa avatar
C V
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I changed my name happily. And had monogrammed presents. Family heirlooms. I don't throw those out now when the marriage is over. I can't even imagine changing my name back again tho. It breaks me heart. But now what

sherry_straus_94 avatar
Fairsher
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hated my last name so taking my spouses was great since his was a very normal name. I was teased all through school and could hardly wait to get rid of it.

juliaprevite avatar
I Am the Walrus
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I personally took my husband's last name. I feel like it keeps things simpler. There are no questions as to whether we're married or not. It shows that we're the same family unit now. But it doesn't really matter to me what anyone does, it's all preference.

victoriamateos avatar
Victoria Mateos
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you were in Spain , you would not have that issue, women here don't change their familiy name when they get married. What for??? .Are you a different person when you get married????

redinflorida avatar
A S Koziol
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm very glad that we live in a time that allows people to choose it keep their name or take another. It's nice that people can do what best fits for their circumstances. I changed mine to my husband's because it makes life easier when it comes to legal issues. Not saying you can't make it work to keep your name, but I found the efforts I had to go to in my first marriage (where I kept my maiden name) caused a lot of wasted time. Especially with banking, real estate, and medical issues. I had to carry my marriage license with me because I never knew when I'd be asked to "prove" we were married (but I found it shady that if I'd had the same last name, no one would have asked that).

megakitty8808 avatar
Erin
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My last name is kind of boring, so I may change it to my (future) husband's if his is better. That would be the only reason, though!

mikeviolet avatar
Mike & Violet
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took my husband's last name because I liked it better than my maiden name. If I hadn"t I would have kept mine. Just chance that his was nice.

danielleshair avatar
Danielle Shair
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because then our last name would die out. This generation was all women.

ealizabethane avatar
Lisa Shaw
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Too many problems, I spoke with a government official (renewing passport) a few months before marriage, when I asked how I would change my name the following summer, after marriage, she went off on me, said I was changing my entire identity and started reading off the costs of doing it and the inconvenience, also said I would not be able to travel out of country for approximately two years "while all the changes and red tape were sorted through" she actually made me sorry I even enquired, my husband arrived during her tirade and was so mortified by the things she had said to me, he contacted her manager and a lawyer, since she was spurting a bunch of legal advice that she was not entitled to do.

remyellis avatar
Remy Ellis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Guys, let's stop arguing about this whole "ownership" thing. Some people have different opinions about different matters. Different people, different minds, different choices, different personalities. Thing like last names are not one-size-fits-all. And we, as human beings, have the responsibility to accept and acknowledge one another's opinions, even if we have different mindsets.

shadowsofprime avatar
Lucca Accora
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Shame this doesn't apply when men have to pay for their rings and fancy weddings.

shadowsofprime avatar
Lucca Accora
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wish they cared enough to stop requiring us to buy them expensive rings and wedding ceremonies.

alexandra_rockwell avatar
Alexandra Rockwell
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband took my last name. My dad was the only son and he had two daughters, so my last name would have stopped with me. My husband on the other hand, has 3 more brothers to keep the name going.

emmakooij avatar
Emma Kooij
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As someone who has a mother in this position, it can be very normal in some cultures to *not* take your husbands last name. I mean, my mom and dad never disagreed about last name problems-mom didn't feel like changing her last name because she is part of the last generation to carry her dad's name. My parents have been married for almost 30 years now, and never has either of them questioned it. It's pretty normal in the Netherlands, though in America, everyone seems surprised when they figure out my mom has a different last name. Once they know though, it doesn't make any difference!

beatyruth avatar
Ruth Beaty
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was married almost 40 years and decided to take my husband's last name, mine was also a difficult name (tho I did enjoy using it, lol). For me it was about two people becoming one, a sign of my respect and love for him. Definitely not a sign of ownership. This just happened to be my choice, and one of my sisters decided to keep our family name as a business decision. Ours was a very equal marriage and we made most of our decisions together. Things weren't always easy, and we tried to listen to each other's viewpoint with love and respect.

martinw avatar
Martin
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As long as children are left out of this stupidity, I just don't care.

johnlm1981 avatar
John Montgomery
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I tried to convince my wife that we should both change our name to a combination name a friend gave us. I didn't want her to be the only one dealing with changing her name on everything. She still wanted mine. We did still use the combined name on the serving set though, and her dad made us a name plaque with it.

lauramd avatar
Laura M D
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In my country, you don't change your last name when you get married. Your children will have both, your couple's and yours. Traditionally, they get their father's first, and their mother's after that. But now, you can change the order. Also, since gay marriage is allowed, when they have children, they can choose the order.

angijiles avatar
Angi Jiles
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took his name because I was tired of all the e's in my maiden name. Dreesen. My initials went fromADD to ADJ. But I would never judge anyone for not changing their spouses name. Oh and on top of all that, getting all of your stuff changed to your NEW name is a royal pain! Social Security Card, DMV, bank accounts, mortgage, etc.... plus what if someone you went to elementary school wanted to look you up & your last name changed. Guys don't go through that.

maria_weber avatar
Mariia Baranovskaia
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My grandmother took her husband's name and divorced him after 10 years. Her sister kept her maiden name and was happily married till her husband's death.

sophie-deganay avatar
Sophie De Ganay
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I moved to Canada I got tired of spelling my name to everyone (I'm French and my name is composed of two words and super awkward to pronounce in English) so I use my husband's. Purely out of lazyness.

maggyshannon avatar
Margaret Shannon
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because we were still in college and I was sick of waiting for the “S” when roll was taken, no way was I going to change and wait for “T.”

susanna-alsaeedi avatar
Susanna Vesna
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can people just get over this Chrissy Whatever?! Her replies are nothing close to being special! What an unjustified hype!....On the subject though- My mum never changed her name, I won't change mine- nothing to do with feminism, I just want my family (dad's last name) to go on appearing in this world. And honestly won't be bothered changing all the documents, university degrees and etc. I think it is a stupid tradition.

cg_pitch avatar
Chris Pitch
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She simply asked a question wondering why. Was not telling people they should. Social media have people shoot off too quickly. Take the time to read, the high horse may even be able to be put out to pasture.

troy-currie-39 avatar
Troy Currie
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They would never lose their last name, they would just add his to it...usually how it's done

onixdunkel avatar
Onix Dunkel
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"...suffer psychological problems and barely last in their marriages..." We don't do this in my country, is really weird to me the idea of change my last name just because I married someone, so I can't understand at all this kind of thinking

invitedfeline avatar
Dorthe Schou-Nielsen
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took my husband's last name after we got married to more easily show the world that we are a family. We had our children before we got married and they got my middle name and their father's last name as I knew that I would take his last name in case we got married.

shanechang2015 avatar
Shane Chang
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took my husband's name 3 years ago (tomorrow is our 3rd). It was just part of the fantasy for me. It was just a fantasy because I never thought I'd be allowed to marry so maybe it was a tiny bit political for me as well. And I won’t lie, I love most of the reactions I get from people being a white guy named Chang.

eleanor-rhynard avatar
I'm a tiefling rogue, guys!
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are a lot of comments on this. And also, if you want to keep your last name but also want your spouse's, you could hyphenate them... Please don't yell at me for this suggestion!

miriam-gordon avatar
Miriam Gordon
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I kept my last name. I'm the last one, since my sibling died. My father also died, so I think it's also me being very sentimental. I like my last name, and I don't want to give it up. My husband is fine with that.

atruong74 avatar
SweetMamaP
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a friend who dutifully took her husband's last name and when he divorced her after 25 years of marriage, he demanded it back. Yeah, that's right, he didn't want his ex-wife to continue carrying his family name because it was a rather prestigious family name. Her response is one of the best: "He can have his name back. I liked my maiden better any way." As for Maami's tweet, in most Asian cultures, the woman keeps her family name even after marriage. Because a lot of thought and respect goes into naming your child, and the full name actually has meaning and history, you can't just up and change it to your husband's family name.

bmarchese avatar
Brenda Marchese
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I did change my name to his, but 3 yrs later we separated. I chose not to revert to my surname, because I didn’t want my daughter teased because our surnames would be different (this was 40 yrs ago) and it was too expensive too make all those chang. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t. My daughter has married, and she kept her name. A matter of personal choice.

adenugabola293 avatar
Nuga Bola
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If they want to take their last name why not and if they don't want to why not. But I personally feel taking the last name is best as it builds trust in the man about the woman

suegreene avatar
Sue Clasen
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've read some really weird commentaries, as the one that writes, that women that don't adopt their husbands surname are psychological unstable, and their marriages don't last. Here in Spain, you use your father and mother's surname however order you want to use them, from birth to death. I think this is the easiest legal system, nothing changes, whether you marry or not, get divorced or not, re-marry or not, you are who you are., man or woman, just a person. It's a question of legal citizenship not of gender differences.

mintyminameow avatar
Meowton Mewsk
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I want to share the same name as my fiancé. So I plan to take/share his last name. But I wouldn’t care if it were my name or his or a totally new one. I will turn my last name into my middle name so I don’t lose that part of me. I will just add to it. I agree with the women who don’t want to change their names though. Their reasoning is solid. I just personally care to choose that particular connection to my future husband. There are many other ways of being connected that don’t involve changing part of who you are though. People need to do what’s right for them.

katerinaphilbrick avatar
mntncrone
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I personally love the tradition in Iceland and other Scandinavian cultures: you take your father's first name (less often, one's mother's name) as your last. Palsdottir or Palson, Jonsdottir or Jonsson... It's still patriarchal, but it completely sheds this dynastic attitude over last names. Most of these guys who can't break free from the Western idea about patriarchal last names have nothing to pass on OTHER than their names - so who really cares??

someonenameddustin avatar
DustinVFP
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

honestly do whatever works for you, take whatever last name works best for you it could be whoever has the most famous last name or just whichever one is quicker to write or if you really can't decide then make a new one or combine both of them into one, my point is do whatever works best for you and your partner

julie-moularde avatar
Julie Julie
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bigger question is why do people care? Take it, don't take it, make one up, it's your life and your problem. Why are we judged on anything and everything? As long as it's not hurting anyone, just let people do their thing, do yours, and the world will be a better place.

carolwilliams avatar
Carol Williams
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think when two combine to start a family, they should both take a new last name...a family name...let's start that...really screw up the IRS too...

watumesa_tan avatar
Watumesa Tan
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I simply didn't want the hassle of having o go through all those paperworks :)

bbbxl82 avatar
Barbara
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I live in Belgium, it is not even possible to take your husband's last name. We all keep our own name, if you would want to change it you would have to go through a long and bureaucratic procedure and pay a lot of money... You can go around and introduce yourself by your husband's name but legally and on all documentation you keep your own. Your husband's name used to be mentioned on your ID if you were married but it now also at least a decade that it is no longer the case.

amazinghuman avatar
Mr.Fly
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is a tradition here to put the father's name behind the after the first name. However, my dad wanted us to be 'our own people' and didn't do that.

johnlouis avatar
John Louis
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a weird last name. I insisted that my wife not take it. So we both changed our names to Louis.

krestel avatar
Jill Rhoads
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In Sweden, guys will often take her last name if it a less common one. Ppl are getting sick of all having the same type of boring last names. Another reason a guy might take a woman’s last name is when he doesn’t like his own for some reason. My guy took my last name because his had same pronunciation as the Swedish word for vulture. As an American, I’m tickled pink that he did that.

lauralee63 avatar
Laura Rudgers
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I want to know if Chrissy Teigen took Stephens as her last name on the wedding license.

laure avatar
Laure
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Got married after 12 years together, when I was 32. Changing my name would just have been weird. It is a change of identity, you change your last name, the one name that people called you for years. It is actually something important. People do what they want really, I don't care, but I didn't want to change my name, my husband couldn't care less, and if one of us had to change our name, he said that it would have been him (everyone struggles with his last name). But I also know women for whom it is important to share the same name. As long as you do what you want and not what you are told to do, who cares! But I find it odd to judge women who don't take their husband's name.

amueller avatar
A from Austria-Europe
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We threw a dice. Odd number-his name, even number my name. Because we both didn't give a sh.t, keeping different names was not an option. It was an odd number, his name is easier to spell when traveling, which we do a lot. So thanks to the dice! 🎲

nashamagirl avatar
Nia Loves Art
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom kept her maiden name. Her father died when she was 14 and the name is a connection to him. I'm very traditionally romantic so I'll probably change my name unless I marry someone with a name like "Phuc" or "Wiener". It is really a personal decision and not something that should matter to anyone else.

emmadingle avatar
Emma Dingle
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Taking your husband's last name (if you marry) doesn't mean that he gets to rule over you, it was originally meant to show that you and him had come together to join as one. It was to show that you had become his helper, his ezer (basically lifesaver in Hebrew). If you are in a career though for a long while before you marry, then it is understandable that you want to keep your own name for simplicity's sake, but generally, I think it is neat to take your husband's name because it represents a new chapter and identity in addition in your life.

redhairedchic avatar
Jenny Lorenz
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was going to get married once and I was going to keep my last name. It had been my name my whole life and I wanted it to stay the same. The thing that shocked me was that when I told my fiance, he told me he'd take my last name. We broke up though for things unrelated to the last name thing I just shared.

jynxee avatar
Lisa Greene
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am married, 29 years and did not take my husband's name. My father died web i was 6 and there was no one to carry the name on... It's up to the individual and has nothing to do with whether the marriage will last or not!

utadohl avatar
Uta Dohlenburg
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have quite a unique last name, with only about 30 other people in the world sharing it. I love it, I don't want to lose it. But I would say, whatever floats your boat...

arisky76 avatar
Angela Risk
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just added my surname in so I have a double barrelled surname, my husband does not. My choice, his choice. Been together 19 years and married for 10 years. Works for us. As a side note, I did have a massive argument with a good friend at the time when I was considering not taking my husbands name at all. This liberal lady shocked me when she was outraged I was thinking about not taking my husbands name. Asked me 'what was the point of getting married?' My husband said to me, 'your name, your choice.' Thats one of the reasons respect him. And that we are still together nearly 20 years later.

boredpanda_99 avatar
SirWriteALot
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand, why women do this. If roles were reversed I'd definitely not change my name. But I feel honored that my wife took mine. Wish there was a way to keep your name but not be named differently than your kids.

melissa_sigel avatar
Melissa Sigel
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took my husband's last name so that people I knew from high school would not be able to easily find me.

jewels7377 avatar
Julie Partridge
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband and I discussed it for a long time. I opted to take his last name because I brought him over here on a k-1 visa, we got married and are going through the green card process. We have to submit proof of our marriage-so in order to make sure our marriage is believed, which it very much is-I took his out of tradition. He was going to take mine, but my maiden name is really long. I wanted something shorter. I haven't changed my signature though. That's too much effort.

jemelleshannon avatar
The Famous Junkie
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually despise my last name. I want nothing to associate me with my family.. bar my blood line. Plus, even better... there’s only one remaining male with our surname, who is incapable of producing any male off spring, so thankfully this awful name, will die out soon!!!!

ealizabethane avatar
Lisa Shaw
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wanted to take my husband's last name, but alas it was almost impossible. I have dual citizenship with another country and my country of origins passport office (federal government) told me that I was changing my identity and would have to "start all over again as a new person", they also informed me that it could take many months up to a year or so to do it. In the meantime, I can't go to the doctor on my provincial health plan, I couldn't travel out of country, filing income tax would be nothing but a hassle until the name change was complete and they advised me not to change jobs or apply to new credit until it was completed. Any one of those things would have been surmountable, even a few of them but all of them together, occurring at the same time makes it virtually impossible to do in a timely manner. I also found out much later that there are some pretty exorbitant fees involved with changing my name also.

maarika-toivonen avatar
Maarika Toivonen
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel torn on this subject. I don't think anyone should give up their own name. On the other hand, I like the notion of the whole family having one name. My ex didn't want to change his so I took his name. I' m happy to have the same name as my children, but might change it back when they've moved out.

dadditude avatar
James Naron
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All the talk of tradition and what’s “right” aside, you have to admit that Chrissy Teigen’s reason for not has got to be one of the best. (Second only to Emily’s.)

leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My reason for keeping my surname was simple. My sibling died and my parents wanted the surname to live on. But, sure, yeah, it's allllll about women with "issues", not at all about legitimate professional or personal reasons to take/not-take the spouse's surname. SMH. Live, let live. (BTW, married over 25 years. Obviously, not against marriage,!)

weepingwillowzweepingwillowz avatar
Weeping Willowz (WeepingWillowz)
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, my parents aren’t married and my dads a leaning whereas my mum and I are keestra

salla-soini-1 avatar
Salla Soini
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We went with easy option, combination last name. I would have taken it but I would have had to fly to another country just for paper work over and over and it would have been too expensive. So my husband took the combination lastname.

lisagallantking avatar
Lisa
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took my husband's last name and he took mine and we created a really cool, shared, hyphenated name. We've been together 20 years and have two kids with the name we created together.

christina_15 avatar
Christina Carr
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never took hubby last name. His last name is Hunger and mine is Carr. I already had a career that was public so to change it would have to mean starting from scratch. I had no desire for that. AND to change a name that already flows for a name that is awkward on the lips (when you put my first name with it) didn't make sense either. Besides.... How man CarrHunger social media IDs do you know out there. Combining our names together to make an Unique ID that is easy to remember and to find and is NOT taken by others is ideal. Carr or Hunger would have to be followed with some ridiculous numbers. AND, just to clarify... Met in 1987, Married in 1991 (mostly to quiet his family's nerves and the party) and still together.

captaindash avatar
Full Name
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No woman is taking my last name. I can't imagine having sex with someone with the same last name who also happens to be in my immediate family.

andrea_graham avatar
Andrea Graham
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I care not to be owned by a man. I was whole before I met him and so is he.

kirkland_kathy avatar
Kathy Kirkland
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you know and understand the origin of it, you wouldn't either.

wendy_bradford1 avatar
Wendy Bradford
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I kept mine as my bio father was a whore during the late 60s and beyond, and siblings may want to find me.

counicoune avatar
Corinne Lemay-Lafontaine
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is illegal where I live to take your husband name. Province of Qiebec, Canada.

saihoekstra avatar
Sanne H.
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In NL you can choose whatever combination you like as a last name: yourname, partnersname, yourname-partnersname or partnersname-yourname. And your partner has the same options. Usually the woman goes either for the first (the modern option) or the last (the old-fashioned, traditional option), and the man for the first one. Only once I met a guy who took his wife's name.

553044972db8e avatar
Hayley Rodgers
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't like the comment saying "Hip to the BS" because my choice to take my husband's name was about our future kids, not because he owned me or anything like that. If you don't want to that's fine but I am not a fan of insinuating that those who do are blind to past issues. Besides, my husband's last name is WAY easier for people to pronounce.

lisachambers_1 avatar
Lisa Chambers
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why did that stop all the conversation? She is likely one of the least educated persons on the planet and flies by the seat of her pants in most replies, which gets her into the sewer more often than not. I have taken my husband's last name. My choice to have a family name. I am not concerned over who is confused or what people think.

annehemp avatar
Anne Hemp
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think: Keep your name or don't, be gay or straight, christian or muslim or atheist or whatever, wear frilly underwear on a monday, shave your head - IT'S YOUR BUSINESS AND NOBODY ELSE'S. Why do some people b***h so much about what other people do?

polmacqueron avatar
Pol Macqueron
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's still this question about the last name you give to the kids and the fact that one in the couple could be named otherwise which I find disturbing. But actually I see no reason why women should have to change their last name, men could too. It's up to each couple to decide

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Paul Osborne
Community Member
6 years ago

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It's up to the couple to decide but don't shame all men for the tradition

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Joel Emmett
Community Member
6 years ago

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Welp, sure. And yet, it's your dad's name. A SURname, the name of your sire, your father.

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John Smith
Community Member
6 years ago

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Because she's the woman and he's the man. And that's how it'll always be.

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Hugo Raible
Community Member
6 years ago

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Toxic feminist snowflake alert. @BlackCoffee_74 @DoreenGLM

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Dave Roger
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow however did you manage to shove so many right-wing nonsense words into one sentence? What a f*****g edgelord. We're all jealous of how edgy you are.

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Jonathan Eatsalot
Community Member
6 years ago

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It is how families bond. Family reunions would be odd if most people had a different last name.

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Erin
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The husband could always take the wife's last name, then they'd both still be the same. Or they could hyphenate.

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