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Family Is Boycotting Christmas After Woman Steals A Special Baby Moment From Stepdaughter
The holidays are coming, and so are all the conflicts that your family may have been avoiding throughout the year.
A new mother turned to Reddit to ask its users for advice after her father’s fiancée came to babysit her son, but ended up crossing important boundaries.
The lady took the boy to a mall to meet Santa for the first time in his life, even though the parents had explicitly told her they were looking forward to sharing that moment themselves.
RELATED:
Meeting Santa for the first time is one of our core memories
Image credits: MaplesImages / envato (not the actual photo)
But this woman said her dad’s fiancée deliberately took her son to the mall, making sure she would be the one to introduce him to Santa
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: SantaVisitThrow
As many as 2 in 5 families fight over the holidays
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
According to a survey from last year, nearly 40% of families get into open disagreements throughout the holiday season. The research also revealed that a significant portion of these conflicts erupt during the holiday gatherings themselves.
Topics that cause the most trouble usually are:
- Politics (34%)
- Past grievances (32%)
- Relationships (25%)
- Finances (25%)
And it’s not like things get easily brushed off, either. The stakes can be very high, as nearly 20% of respondents indicated that holiday conflicts have prompted a family member to revisit or adjust their estate plans.
After posting the story, the mom joined the discussion in the comment section
Most people who read about what happened said it wasn’t her fault
A few, however, felt she overreacted
Later, the woman shared an update on how her father tried to make things right
Image credits: Nicole Michalou / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: SantaVisitThrow
While moms and dads may look to their own parents for advice and help with raising their kids, disagreements are fairly common
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
A study from C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health found that almost half of parents report conflicts with grandparents over parenting choices.
The survey looked at more than 2,000 responses from parents with kids aged 18 and under. Among those whose children see their grandparents often or occasionally, 37 percent reported having minor disagreements over parenting styles, and 15 percent said their disagreements had a negative effect on the relationship between their children and their grandparents.
More specifically, the study found that 40 percent of parents felt grandparents were too soft on the kids, while 14 percent said they were too strict.
The most common areas of conflict were discipline (57 percent), meals and snacks (44 percent), TV and screen time (36 percent), manners (27 percent), health and safety (25 percent), treating some grandchildren differently than others (22 percent), bedtime (21 percent), and sharing photos or other information on social media (10 percent).
“Grandparents play a special role in the lives of many children and can be an important resource for parents through support, advice and babysitting. But they may have different ideas about the best way to raise the child and that can cause tension,” Sarah Clark, M.P.H., Mott Poll co-director and research scientist with the Susan B. Meister Child Health Evaluation and Research Center, or CHEAR, said in a press release.
“If grandparents contradict or interfere with parenting choices, it can have a serious strain on the relationship. Parents may feel that their parental authority is undermined when grandparents are too lenient in allowing children to do things that are against family rules, or when grandparents are too strict in forbidding children to do things that parents have okayed.”
The mother once again shared more information in the comments
And most people agreed that she handled it the right way
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What do you think ?
G A 3 days ago (edited)
What a lot of 1st world stress. The only one who doesn't come out as overly dramatic is the baby.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 days ago
Y'all, this has NOTHING to do with "omg stolen memories" or "omg OP is angy that Dad's fiancée took baby to see Santa before she could". What we SHOULD be looking at is the fact that OP had NO IDEA that her child was going to be anywhere but where she EXPECTED the child to be: IN HER HOME. Dad's fiancée didn't ask, or even inform - she just took an infant out of its home without permission (and yes, since Dad's fiancée isn't the child's parent/guardian, she DOES need permission.) What if something had happened to either the baby OR dad's fiancée? What if there was an accident? What if they got hit by a car? What if something happened at the mall and they were locked down there? OP would have NO IDEA where her child was. And - for all we know - OP's dad fell asleep without knowing that his fiancée was going to take the baby to the mall, so HE may not have even had any idea where the baby was, if something had happened. This was a massive breach of trust and risk to the child.
Kkg 3 days ago
I don't buy it. She mentioned multiple times that they live really close to a mall. 5 minute walk is what? 200m? She never mentioned that there is anything dangerous on the way to getting there. I understand that she is upset that she was not informed that they are leaving the house, but I bet that if Dad's fiancee said - "hey, I'm taking the little one to the mall, but we will keep away from the Santa thing", OP would be fine with it. She posted a whole long update about visiting Santa somewhere else and that she had "tears in her eyes looking at her son there". IMO she is upset ONLY (or mainly) about the memories. She explains it all too clearly. Not knowing where her child was is just mentioned as additional point on her side. She was even angry at the fiancee specifically for wanting to have her own special moments with the baby. I'm not saying that the fiancee did anything right. I just don't agree that OP's main issue is what she didn't know where the baby was.
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marianne eliza 3 days ago
What a tempest in a teacup. The baby will never remember this incident, unless OP carries a grudge into baby's older years. I think OP had built it up so much in her dreams that she's overreacting.
BoredPangolin 3 days ago
Yeah, I am raising my kids with no grandparents on either side. She's going to change her mind about babysitting real quick. The incident was annoying, but nothing you can't talk through and nothing dangerous. Nothing worth cutting off her son from the love and support of grandparents.
azubi 3 days ago
That poor child. OP could have said "did you meet Santa? You lucky one! Maybe we'll see him again!", turning this into a day of joy and bliss and enchantment. Instead she poisoned this experience with bitterness and envy. Babies do feel that. Of course it was a despicable power move by GM, especially when she said she wanted her own special moments. But OP played the same game, in a way that the baby learns that good things can be feeling wrong or even feels guilty for having annoyed Mama somehow. Poor child.
greenideas 3 days ago
I think the "first Santa experience" is less important than the fact she took him out and the person who was supposed to babysit fell asleep. Yes, it snowballed into a whole thing, but I just wouldn't want to be around the fiancee anymore, since she has shown more than once that she is willing to trample boundaries.
megabeth 3 days ago
Took a baby out of its house! Clutches pearls. Honestly. I will bet you $5usd that was not a specific "rule". Pay someone to watch your baby for you then.
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🇺🇦 PrincessPatton 🇺🇦 3 days ago
I disagree with the opinion that parents shouldn't stress so much because the child won't remember it. It's true that the child won't remember it, but she irrevocably ruined the moment for the parents as well. It was supposed to be the first time they took their firstborn child to see Santa, and parents can't "pretend" that moment.
Kkg 3 days ago
They took for the first time baby to see Santa. It just wasn't the first time for the baby. One cannot claim that Christmas stuff are not important for her and then have a whole post about having this special moment stolen from her. My kids went to the nursery. There is a non-zero probability that they said their first words there or made their first steps. But for me important are the first times I have actually seen it. Does it mean that my memories are somehow worse or invalid? Do you honestly think that the baby reacted so much differently seeing a Santa for the second time? And in the end - i guess OP doesn't really realize but she witnesses special moments every other day. Babies develop so fast at this age! Why suddenly Santa is so super important? It's just one of millions of things that the baby has experienced for the first time in her life up till now.
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Rafael 3 days ago
ESH tô use the reddit lingo. The OP didn't like the fiancée in the first ace, and this was the last straw. The whole family got embroiled in this. The fiancée doesn't sound particularly lovely either. This only took the proportions it took because the whole family was already in disarray and this two inane things (santa/"taking the kid outside") was just the casus belli. Or maybe this is just rage bait, because I refuse people could be this petty and dúmb.
Janelle Collard 3 days ago (edited)
Dad's side piece taking an 8-month-old to see Santa - no big deal. Taking that baby *out* of his home without getting the ok from baby's parents? Fvck No!
megabeth 3 days ago
I just dream of being able to have my family together, well fed, presents exchanged. Unfortunately not everyone is alive and there are disagreements and a fair share of bs. I was always thankful for ANY free babysitting as I was not comfortable with daycare before my child could communicate with me if they were being....molested or a****d. Was the fiance out of line? Absolutely. But we only have each other WHILE we have each other. I think this is first world problems. You can say but it's Faaaamily to me all day. But it is family. Be blessed and be grateful. Don't let some moronic move of one person keep you apart. You never know when that last family Christmas is going to be. It can all be gone in an instant. No permission to leave my house! Santa photos! I would give so much to have such problems as these.
Emilu 3 days ago
I don't have kids, so I imagine my opinion probably doesn't count, but I feel like no babysitting entirely seems a bit nuclear? I mean, OP knows now what her father's partner is like. Maybe if she and her partner celebrated all the firsts they can before letting her babysit again, but realistically, they're still likely to miss something, especially if the kid goes to daycare. Logically the amount of time the average kid spends at daycare, realistically some 'firsts' will happen there; just the daycare workers probably won't tell OP about them to 'keep it special'. So what's worse? OP's father's partner doing a 'first' with bub (that he won't remember) but letting the couple know, or not finding out that a first has happened? But what do I know; I don't have kids 🤷🏽♀️
Nota Robot 3 days ago
I don't have kids either. But this isn't about kids. Suppose you have a SIL and you tell her you are really looking forward to surprising your dad by taking him to a special place for his birthday in two weekstime. The week after SIL is showing pictures of her and your dad at the place. Of course you could argue that an infant does not have the memories and that you could take him again no problem. While that is true YOU know that you have been upstaged and the memory is less sweet for it.
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KatSaidThat 1 day ago
How is someone not blood related getting pissed off that they are not getting special moments with someone else's baby?
Earonn - 1 day ago
That Dad was asleep - well, there was another adult. That kid was taken outside....yeah, we were taken on strolls all the time, it was seen as good for us to get "fresh air". As for the "stolen first moment" - you can still have your first Santa visit with the baby, and isn't all this "baby sees a spoon for the first time", baby's first cry over clouds", "baby's first walking through the back door" getting a bit too far?
Sara Frazer 3 days ago
Your husband napped while Grandpa and step-gram babysat?? Why couldn't he watch his own child while you were at this business meeting.???
nm 3 days ago
I was less than 6 y.o. when discovered my present, supposed to be brought by Santa after 2 days, hidden in the closet. However I still remember my irritation for the deceit. I'm 73 now and don't have any childhood trauma about it, beyond the hate for the lies.
Tyranamar Seuss 3 days ago
You have "hate" for being lied to about Santa? Your parents were trying to create magic for you and you have "hate" about that? That's weird. Every adult raised in Western Christian nations was "lied" to about Santa. Most of them think of the fond memories from when they actually believed. And carry no bitter resentment towards parents who were trying to make magic. Think about why you're the outlier.
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Ali 3 days ago
Ok, so the baby won't remember it - but those things are important to loads of people. I don't have kids, so I might be wrong here, but I feel taking the baby out of the house without talking about it beforehand is an obvious no no. Years ago I regularly had to take an hour bus journey to babysit my sister's little ones because I was the only person she trusted not to pull stuff like this - even though she had MIL and others on hand. Sure a nice trip to the park would be fun and harmless, but she couldn't focus on her job worrying if the baby had been taken out, was he being kept safe and all that. Did I think she was over reacting? Truthfully, I sort of did, however family should be supporting new mums to feel secure who ever taking care of baby is doing it exactly the way she needs it done.
wobbly jelly 3 days ago
save the reverse uno card - sounds like there might be a wedding in the offing - you don't want to upstage the bride - there lies trouble, but easy for a toddler to do, We went to a friends wedding with our toddler - she just had a summer dress, hat and small bag - but most of ladies there were taking more photos of her than the bride - made me feel guilty, so we moved her away - plan it and could be much more effective.
Crystalwitch60 3 days ago
Those ytas get more deluded !, fk in hell dads fiancée isn’t even f kin family ffs ,dam if anyone had done that with my kids when little id have gone scorched earth on them , being an older mum ,I was far more protective,not overly ie ott point but , I had boundaries n god help you if you crossed em , still do in fact ! N they are in early 20,s now what that s k a n k did was bang outta order ! n im glad she’s being made to pay a bit , fk that noise as they say NTA
Binky Melnik 3 days ago
You only used “fυck” four times, Crystal, so I gather this didn’t annoy you much, huh?
Load More Replies... G A 3 days ago (edited)
What a lot of 1st world stress. The only one who doesn't come out as overly dramatic is the baby.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 days ago
Y'all, this has NOTHING to do with "omg stolen memories" or "omg OP is angy that Dad's fiancée took baby to see Santa before she could". What we SHOULD be looking at is the fact that OP had NO IDEA that her child was going to be anywhere but where she EXPECTED the child to be: IN HER HOME. Dad's fiancée didn't ask, or even inform - she just took an infant out of its home without permission (and yes, since Dad's fiancée isn't the child's parent/guardian, she DOES need permission.) What if something had happened to either the baby OR dad's fiancée? What if there was an accident? What if they got hit by a car? What if something happened at the mall and they were locked down there? OP would have NO IDEA where her child was. And - for all we know - OP's dad fell asleep without knowing that his fiancée was going to take the baby to the mall, so HE may not have even had any idea where the baby was, if something had happened. This was a massive breach of trust and risk to the child.
Kkg 3 days ago
I don't buy it. She mentioned multiple times that they live really close to a mall. 5 minute walk is what? 200m? She never mentioned that there is anything dangerous on the way to getting there. I understand that she is upset that she was not informed that they are leaving the house, but I bet that if Dad's fiancee said - "hey, I'm taking the little one to the mall, but we will keep away from the Santa thing", OP would be fine with it. She posted a whole long update about visiting Santa somewhere else and that she had "tears in her eyes looking at her son there". IMO she is upset ONLY (or mainly) about the memories. She explains it all too clearly. Not knowing where her child was is just mentioned as additional point on her side. She was even angry at the fiancee specifically for wanting to have her own special moments with the baby. I'm not saying that the fiancee did anything right. I just don't agree that OP's main issue is what she didn't know where the baby was.
Load More Replies... marianne eliza 3 days ago
What a tempest in a teacup. The baby will never remember this incident, unless OP carries a grudge into baby's older years. I think OP had built it up so much in her dreams that she's overreacting.
BoredPangolin 3 days ago
Yeah, I am raising my kids with no grandparents on either side. She's going to change her mind about babysitting real quick. The incident was annoying, but nothing you can't talk through and nothing dangerous. Nothing worth cutting off her son from the love and support of grandparents.
azubi 3 days ago
That poor child. OP could have said "did you meet Santa? You lucky one! Maybe we'll see him again!", turning this into a day of joy and bliss and enchantment. Instead she poisoned this experience with bitterness and envy. Babies do feel that. Of course it was a despicable power move by GM, especially when she said she wanted her own special moments. But OP played the same game, in a way that the baby learns that good things can be feeling wrong or even feels guilty for having annoyed Mama somehow. Poor child.
greenideas 3 days ago
I think the "first Santa experience" is less important than the fact she took him out and the person who was supposed to babysit fell asleep. Yes, it snowballed into a whole thing, but I just wouldn't want to be around the fiancee anymore, since she has shown more than once that she is willing to trample boundaries.
megabeth 3 days ago
Took a baby out of its house! Clutches pearls. Honestly. I will bet you $5usd that was not a specific "rule". Pay someone to watch your baby for you then.
Load More Replies... 🇺🇦 PrincessPatton 🇺🇦 3 days ago
I disagree with the opinion that parents shouldn't stress so much because the child won't remember it. It's true that the child won't remember it, but she irrevocably ruined the moment for the parents as well. It was supposed to be the first time they took their firstborn child to see Santa, and parents can't "pretend" that moment.
Kkg 3 days ago
They took for the first time baby to see Santa. It just wasn't the first time for the baby. One cannot claim that Christmas stuff are not important for her and then have a whole post about having this special moment stolen from her. My kids went to the nursery. There is a non-zero probability that they said their first words there or made their first steps. But for me important are the first times I have actually seen it. Does it mean that my memories are somehow worse or invalid? Do you honestly think that the baby reacted so much differently seeing a Santa for the second time? And in the end - i guess OP doesn't really realize but she witnesses special moments every other day. Babies develop so fast at this age! Why suddenly Santa is so super important? It's just one of millions of things that the baby has experienced for the first time in her life up till now.
Load More Replies... Rafael 3 days ago
ESH tô use the reddit lingo. The OP didn't like the fiancée in the first ace, and this was the last straw. The whole family got embroiled in this. The fiancée doesn't sound particularly lovely either. This only took the proportions it took because the whole family was already in disarray and this two inane things (santa/"taking the kid outside") was just the casus belli. Or maybe this is just rage bait, because I refuse people could be this petty and dúmb.
Janelle Collard 3 days ago (edited)
Dad's side piece taking an 8-month-old to see Santa - no big deal. Taking that baby *out* of his home without getting the ok from baby's parents? Fvck No!
megabeth 3 days ago
I just dream of being able to have my family together, well fed, presents exchanged. Unfortunately not everyone is alive and there are disagreements and a fair share of bs. I was always thankful for ANY free babysitting as I was not comfortable with daycare before my child could communicate with me if they were being....molested or a****d. Was the fiance out of line? Absolutely. But we only have each other WHILE we have each other. I think this is first world problems. You can say but it's Faaaamily to me all day. But it is family. Be blessed and be grateful. Don't let some moronic move of one person keep you apart. You never know when that last family Christmas is going to be. It can all be gone in an instant. No permission to leave my house! Santa photos! I would give so much to have such problems as these.
Emilu 3 days ago
I don't have kids, so I imagine my opinion probably doesn't count, but I feel like no babysitting entirely seems a bit nuclear? I mean, OP knows now what her father's partner is like. Maybe if she and her partner celebrated all the firsts they can before letting her babysit again, but realistically, they're still likely to miss something, especially if the kid goes to daycare. Logically the amount of time the average kid spends at daycare, realistically some 'firsts' will happen there; just the daycare workers probably won't tell OP about them to 'keep it special'. So what's worse? OP's father's partner doing a 'first' with bub (that he won't remember) but letting the couple know, or not finding out that a first has happened? But what do I know; I don't have kids 🤷🏽♀️
Nota Robot 3 days ago
I don't have kids either. But this isn't about kids. Suppose you have a SIL and you tell her you are really looking forward to surprising your dad by taking him to a special place for his birthday in two weekstime. The week after SIL is showing pictures of her and your dad at the place. Of course you could argue that an infant does not have the memories and that you could take him again no problem. While that is true YOU know that you have been upstaged and the memory is less sweet for it.
Load More Replies... KatSaidThat 1 day ago
How is someone not blood related getting pissed off that they are not getting special moments with someone else's baby?
Earonn - 1 day ago
That Dad was asleep - well, there was another adult. That kid was taken outside....yeah, we were taken on strolls all the time, it was seen as good for us to get "fresh air". As for the "stolen first moment" - you can still have your first Santa visit with the baby, and isn't all this "baby sees a spoon for the first time", baby's first cry over clouds", "baby's first walking through the back door" getting a bit too far?
Sara Frazer 3 days ago
Your husband napped while Grandpa and step-gram babysat?? Why couldn't he watch his own child while you were at this business meeting.???
nm 3 days ago
I was less than 6 y.o. when discovered my present, supposed to be brought by Santa after 2 days, hidden in the closet. However I still remember my irritation for the deceit. I'm 73 now and don't have any childhood trauma about it, beyond the hate for the lies.
Tyranamar Seuss 3 days ago
You have "hate" for being lied to about Santa? Your parents were trying to create magic for you and you have "hate" about that? That's weird. Every adult raised in Western Christian nations was "lied" to about Santa. Most of them think of the fond memories from when they actually believed. And carry no bitter resentment towards parents who were trying to make magic. Think about why you're the outlier.
Load More Replies... Ali 3 days ago
Ok, so the baby won't remember it - but those things are important to loads of people. I don't have kids, so I might be wrong here, but I feel taking the baby out of the house without talking about it beforehand is an obvious no no. Years ago I regularly had to take an hour bus journey to babysit my sister's little ones because I was the only person she trusted not to pull stuff like this - even though she had MIL and others on hand. Sure a nice trip to the park would be fun and harmless, but she couldn't focus on her job worrying if the baby had been taken out, was he being kept safe and all that. Did I think she was over reacting? Truthfully, I sort of did, however family should be supporting new mums to feel secure who ever taking care of baby is doing it exactly the way she needs it done.
wobbly jelly 3 days ago
save the reverse uno card - sounds like there might be a wedding in the offing - you don't want to upstage the bride - there lies trouble, but easy for a toddler to do, We went to a friends wedding with our toddler - she just had a summer dress, hat and small bag - but most of ladies there were taking more photos of her than the bride - made me feel guilty, so we moved her away - plan it and could be much more effective.
Crystalwitch60 3 days ago
Those ytas get more deluded !, fk in hell dads fiancée isn’t even f kin family ffs ,dam if anyone had done that with my kids when little id have gone scorched earth on them , being an older mum ,I was far more protective,not overly ie ott point but , I had boundaries n god help you if you crossed em , still do in fact ! N they are in early 20,s now what that s k a n k did was bang outta order ! n im glad she’s being made to pay a bit , fk that noise as they say NTA
Binky Melnik 3 days ago
You only used “fυck” four times, Crystal, so I gather this didn’t annoy you much, huh?
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